Give Me a Sign, I Want to Believe

I was on my way to lunch, having already flew through physics with a breeze, but decided to stop by my locker first to shed some of this weight off my back. I definitely did not miss the textbooks at all over the break.

My highschool was pretty great; I’d have to give it that. Even if the people weren’t, the building was still nice. There was a large courtyard in the center, with the hallways surrounding, so in between class changes the students enjoyed fresh air. The lockers where under the rooftops on the edges, lining the front of each hallway. I come up to mine. 304. It read. What a boring number. I thought to myself. I begin twisting the lock, hearing the click, then pull it open and shove my crap inside and grab my Calculus book for after lunch. I go to slam the locker shut and spin around but end up smacking right into someone, causing my book to fly to the floor.

“Hey watch where you’re going!” The boy says simultaneously with my “Sorry!”

When the boy realizes who I am his face softens, but not before I saw that look in his eyes. It was menacing, almost. As if he was about to hurt me for simply bumping into him, but it was only a split second. Now he seemed relax, and he bent down to pick up my book.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, ducking his head, and beginning to walk again.

I look down the hall at him, the boy from my English class. No, I wasn’t about to let him walk off. This time I’m determined to say something.

“Uh, the cafeteria is this way! If you have lunch this period.” I only assumed he had lunch this period considering the late bell had already rang for class.

“I know where it’s at.” The boy said without turning around or slowing his pace. But before I could snap a comeback at him he turned the corner and was gone.

Well. Okay then. I brush it off this odd encounter, along with the flashing memory of first period and make my way to the lunchroom. In there I see Caroline and Tyler sitting at our usual table.
“Sup, babe?” Tyler smiles and places his arm around me as I sit down.

“Not much,” I nonchalantly shake his arm off of me. Tyler and I had known each other our whole lives, we practically came out the womb together. Growing up we were inseparable, and even today we still are. But something about the way he’s been acting lately has me a little fuzzed. He tosses around the words babe and cutie, as if he weren’t joking anymore like he used to. I’m not the only one seems to see it either because when I glance at Caroline her eyebrows shoot up. I lightly shrug at her and look away.

“So, what’s for lunch?” I ask, trying to spark a conversation.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this” Tyler smiles as he pulls his bag onto the table.

Tyler, Caroline and I have always had lunch together, despite the two different periods for it.Coming into high school we all three agreed that school food was gross, and packing three different lunches was boring. So we made a pact to always pack one large picnic everyday. The first year of school we got some pretty ridiculous looks, but we were freshmen so we didn’t care. Now, the student body barely bats an eye at us as we lay out our usual baby blue table cloth and freshly made food. There were strawberries, blueberries, peanut butter and jelly squares, and even tea. Tyler was right, I do love this!

“Oh my god! What a perfect way to come back to school!” I smile and raise my strawberry as a toast. The other two join in.

“To a fresh start!”

“To a fresh start!” They reply back.

___

I love fruit, and it’s not that I’m a vegetarian or anything, I just prefer not to eat meat. The texture is weird to me. Don’t get me wrong though, I’ll occasionally stuff down a few hotdogs every now and then.

“Jess? Jess!” Caroline snapped me out of thoughts to bring me back down to earth. “So are you in or what, girl?”

“Wait, what? What am I in for?”

“For Rian’s back to school party this weekend?! His parents will be out of town so he’s invited nearly everyone over!” Ahh Rian Dawson, he was pretty much the most popular guy in the whole school, but that’s only because his parents seem to leave him home alone a lot and he just happen to have connections in the alcohol department.

“I don’t know Caroline, you know I’m not much for parties.” Which may or may not have been the truth.

“Oh aren’t you a dirty filthy liar miss Jess!” And at that I couldn’t help but laugh at her and smile.

“Okay, okay. Maybe I was exaggerating a little, but it’s been rough the past few weeks with my mom, I’m not sure what’d she say about it.”

“ Then tell the bitch that you’re staying at my house to get a head start the semester homework!”

“Caroline!” I scoffed at her.

“What! I’m sorry but you know she is. I mean what kind of mother belittles her daughter and then forgets to feed her?”

“Caroline!” This time it was Tyler who said it, “I think that’s enough.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry Jess. I only say that because she frustrates me and you’re my best friend.”

“I get it Car, but I’ll talk to her and let you know tomorrow.”

“Great! Can’t wait! This party is going to be so sick!” Tyler and I exchange a glance but laugh anyways. Caroline thinks every party is sick.

“Hey Jess, what’s your third period” Tyler asked

“Calculus,” I groaned.

“Oh, I have history! Which is on the way. Mind if I walk you to class, my lady?” He took a step back and did a half bow while extending his arm to me. I couldn’t help but laugh at how dorky Tyler was.
No matter what, I could always rely on him to cheer me up.

“Why, I feel as if that would be a lovely idea Mr. Tyler Roberts” I said in a posh accent.
He led me out of the cafeteria and down the hallway to third period. We didn’t say much, but with Tyler you never had to say anything. The silence was never awkward with him. He dropped me off a my class, and with a swift bow and a wink, he left. I couldn't help but laugh again as I took a seat on the back row. Tyler was a character.

____

After a bore-me-to-tears math lesson, and a wonderful history lesson, I was free from my first day back and out the doors of that hell hole in no time. I made my way through the parking lot to my car to see Caroline already there.

“I’m here to remind you little missy to talk to your mother tonight about this weekend!”

“Okay Car, I think I got it.” I laughed, as I unlocked my car door.

“Don’t forget!” She shouted as she jogged off towards her car.

Safely inside I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. As much as I loved the end of a school day, it always meant going home, and going home was always a card game. Several things could happen:

One, my mother could already be home, drinking away while watching game show reruns or reading a magazine.

Two, my mother could not be home, and (hopefully) be working. Then come home later, even more tired then she would be and start yelling. She usually only raises her voice is she’s extremely exhausted.

Or Three, my mother could not be home, and just not come home tonight. Which she has also done several times before. The longest she’s ever been out, if I can recall right, was four days, but between school and hanging out with Caroline I barely notice.

I sigh and open my eyes, preparing to back out. It’s not until I’m ready to take my foot of the break that I see the boy from my English class in front of my car. Well, not up close front, but a little ways up in the grass. He was sitting, just sitting there. I looked around the near deserted parking lot. Kids here are so eager to leave. I turn back to the boy. All he was doing was looking at the sky. I couldn’t help to wonder if he had a ride home. Something sparked inside of me and before I knew it I was getting out of my car and walking up to him.

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, I still didn’t know his name.

“Yes I’m fine Jess, thank you.” He replied without looking at me. How did he know my name, surely I never told him?

“Uh, I was just about to head out and, uh, I didn’t know if you, uh, needed, uh,” Shit Jess! Why the hell was I stuttering right now!

It seems my stuttering got his attention though, because he tore his eyes from the sky and looked at me. He tilted his head slightly and smirked, as if he was relishing in the fact that he made me stutter.
Why did he make me do that?

“No.” His reply was cold, unlike the rest of his expression. He was still half smiling, but his word cut like a razor.

“No?” I choked out, not expecting such a rude response. No thank you would have at least been somewhat better.

“No.” He said again, but this time getting up, too. He grabbed his things and started walking down towards the road, landing on the sidewalk, strolling towards god knows where.

I stared at, him mouth open. TWICE! I thought, Twice this mother fucker has left me with my mouth gaped and speechless! Well, it won’t happen again, because tomorrow, that sucker is in for a rude awakening.