A Million Miles Away

I watch as she walks across the street with her brother, holding her hand, assisting her. She's not blind, nor is she disabled, but after the accident he's been much more careful with her. He watches her like a hawk watches its prey. And because of that I couldn't go near her. It's been two years since I last spoke to her, last heard her adorable laugh, her brightening smile. Two long years since her brother threw me out of her life.

I don't blame him, I almost killed her.

And she couldn't protest.

Why?

She doesn't remember me or anyone.

"Honestly Cristiano, we should go. Vince's going to know you're here." Sergio warns.

Honestly didn’t give a shit if he knows I’m following them. Last time I checked, being in this neighborhood wasn’t a crime.

"I know, but I need to see her." I sigh, looking over at her once more. She's entering therapy, to try and help her retain her memory. She's back in school, getting her life together, but I know something is missing. I can't even try and relate to how she feels, how can I? I came out of that accident with a couple of broken ribs, but she came out losing who she is.

I put my car into drive, moving away from the office building. I check up on her when I can, usually when she goes in for her therapy sessions. Though I cannot do it often, I try to see her at least once a month. It’s what’s keeping me sane. Thankfully, my mother still gets along with her brother, so she keeps me updated. She's regain a bit of her memory, but not fully. And from what it seems Vince never mentions me to her. Not surprising, but I was a big part of her life for thirteen years, you can't block me out.

"I'm surprised Vince is still talking to your mom." Sergio states.

"My mom's been like a second mother to him, he would never dare ignore my mother." I scoff. It's true. My mom became a mother like figure to Vince and Amelia ever since they were kids. We were next door neighbors in Portugal; our mother’s becoming fast friends.

"But she condones him being an asshole to you?"

“I think she tries to talk to him about it, so does my brother and sisters, but at the end of the day, Amelia’s his sibling, not theirs.” My grip on the steering wheel tightens, thinking about this whole situation. Amelia’s my girlfriend, I know in some ways the accident was my fault, but he has no right to take her away from me. I could have helped her regain her memory back, I would have quit football for her, just to make sure she’ll remember me again.

The thought of Amelia leaving me while we were together was frightening. But for her not to remember me, for her to not know how much we love one another, and for her to not know how much I miss her kills me slowly inside. At least work hasn’t been affected; well not as much as I thought it would.

Football takes me away from this harsh reality and maybe that’s the reason I’ve been doing well as of late. I’ve been focusing all my time on football and that alone. It’s the only thing that can distract me. Honestly, I went on a slump for quite some time, but I bounced back because I knew she wouldn’t be happy if she saw me. That alone motivated me.

I stop at a stoplight; my phone vibrates as the car comes to a halt. Looking around quickly, I grab my phone, unlocking it and opening a text message from Vince.

‘I saw you just now, Aveiro. I’ll play nice, but this is my last warning, stay away from my sister.’

Taking a deep breath, I tried to control my anger the best I can. This asshole is just pissing me off. I know he’s her brother, but before her accident, he was hardly a brother to her. Yet the person who’s been there is the one he shuts out? This is bullshit.

A sigh escapes my mouth as I place my phone back on the cup holder. Sergio looks over at me, shaking his head.

“Vince texted you too?” Sergio questions.

I look over at him. “He texted you?”

“Yeah,” Sergio nods. “I told you he’ll find out.”

“She’s my wife, I think I have the right to see her.” The light turns green, I press on the gas pedal, the car cruises along the road. I shouldn’t be taking out my anger on the road, that never ends well, but it’s the only thing I can use to channel my anger right now.

“You two never got married,” Sergio protests. “You two were engaged, but you never got married.” I know Sergio hates reminding me about this certain fact, but she should have been my wife by now. Amelia was it for me. No one else in this world mattered but her. She will always be it for me, she’s the one.

That’s cheesy, I know, but she really was it for me. She was my life, all I saw was her, all I still see is her. I proposed to her a year before the accident. Being domesticated was something I never wanted, but the thing you least expect always hits you.

“I know,” I sighed, stopping at a stoplight once again. “I don’t know what to do anymore man, I’m trying to figure out a way to please that asshole, but whatever I do, he won’t let me talk to her.”

“Vince is an asshole like that, you know he can hold grudges.”

“Exactly, but for what? Time and time again, I’ve apologized, doesn’t he think this shit is affecting me too?”

Sergio sighed. “But you’re not the one who lost their memory.”

I pursed my lips, choosing not to reply to Sergio. We didn’t need to argue, there’s nothing I can say to that.

I sit in my room browsing through the television channels. I just got in from following Vince and Amelia. Sergio invited me to get a bite to eat, but I couldn’t even digest anything right now. I just want to be alone.

I turn off the television, finding nothing interesting on. I laid back on my bed and sigh.

My phone starts ringing. I look over and find my sister’s name flashing on the screen.

“No work today?” Katia questions

“I already told you, it’s my day off.” I answer.

“Never knew you can get days off, cause you never really come around to visit your lovely sister.” She teases.

I laugh. “I think we’ve seen enough of each other while we were growing up.”

“It wounds me that you don’t miss your own sister,” I can see her glaring at me, Katia loves hearing me admit that I miss her.

“If I say it, will it make you happy?”

“I don’t want you to say it just to make me happy, I want you to say it ‘cause you mean it.”

I groan. “Katia, you’re so annoying.”

“You’re not any better, Cristiano, so if I were you, start singing your praises.”

“I miss you, Katia.” I bite my lip to keep my laughter down. I couldn’t break down now, if I laugh, she’ll hit me. Even though I’m stronger than my sister, Katia’s hits are still painful.

“Yeah, you better,” she replies.

Laughter escapes my lips, causing my lovely older sister to release a couple of cuss words.

“I’m kidding, you know I miss you, Katia, I had some business to attend to,” she didn’t need to know what I did today. Katia never exactly told me to back off Amelia, a few times she warned me about Vince, but other than that, she never exactly told me to leave her alone.

“The only business you can possibly have is your job. Unless you’re doing other things besides football?” She pauses for a moment. “You’re not dating again either, because the paparazzi would be all over it.”

“No, helping a friend out.”

“Cristiano, please, do you think you can fool me?” She sighs. “Look, I understand that you want to see her, but we need to respect Vince’s wishes right now. He wants Amelia to regain her life.”

I couldn’t help but feel angered by her statement. She knows how I feel, why would she try and make me think otherwise?

“He’s being a douchebag, I could help her out.” I argue. Katia knows I’m right, I would be a better help than any doctor could.

“Cristiano, I know that, but Vince, he’s being stubborn.”

“What about Jay? He’s the oldest, he has no say in this?”

Katia laughs. “Jay has a say in this and he’s been trying to convince Vince for the longest, but he’s just not having it.”

“This is bullshit,” I groan. “She’s my fiancé.”

“I’ll try to make progress tomorrow when I go out to dinner with Vince.” Katia offers. “I’m not telling you to give up, I just need you to be patient.”

“I admire your loyalty and love for Amelia. I know you can be patient for her and wait for her, but you need to be able to accept that she might not regain her memory.” There’s a pause for a moment. I know she’s waiting for the words to sink in my mind. That’s hard. I don’t want to admit it, but I’ve thought of it countless of times. What if she never regains her memory? What if I become a forgotten memory, buried with the rest of her past? “Sometimes moving on can be the best way to help her.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I didn’t give her a chance to reply, I hung up on my sister.

I start laughing, not sure as to why I am, but I’m laughing. That idea is beyond ridiculous. Amelia’s the one for me. I’m not going to give up on her, that’s not how things go, at least not for me. I will find a way to get back in her life, with or without Vince’s approval.