A Million Miles Away

Cristiano quietly sits beside Sergio as he drives towards Amelia’s house. Nerves making noise all over his body, he’s not sure how he’s keeping still or silent for that matter. He watches the houses, buildings, cars, etc. as they pass by, he’s pretty sure Sergio is talking to him about something, but he can’t even hear him. The car is his, but he couldn’t even try driving.

“Cristiano,” Sergio shakes him. He turns towards his friend, nodding his head. “You really need to pay attention, it’s like I’ve been talking to air for the last ten minutes.”

“Sorry man, just a bit nervous,” Cristiano replies. “What’s up?”

“I was just asking if you wanted to drop your stuff off at your house first before going to Amelia’s.” Sergio repeats the question he’s been asking Cristiano for the past few minutes.

“And piss off my mother? She knows we’ve landed, she’ll be upset if we’re there later than I’ve told her.” Cristiano chuckles. “Let’s just head straight there.”

“Okay, this brings me to my next question, should we bring something? Like dessert? Flowers? Her favorite chocolate bar?” Sergio feels as if he’s trying to impress someone or taking someone out on a date. He knows he doesn’t need to bring anything, but he wants to bring something for her, he’s just not sure what.

“I’m sure they have everything covered,” Cristiano says to him. “Do you think we should bring something?”

“Cake?”

Cristiano laughs, remembering a memory that had Sergio and himself in this situation. Well, of course not exact same situation, but a couple of years back Amelia was upset at him and Sergio. He forgot what they did, but he and Amelia didn’t speak for at least two weeks, which is a record for the both of them. At first he and Sergio took it as a joke, not taking Amelia’s feelings as seriously as they should have, but it became very apparent that Amelia was not talking to them anytime soon. So what did they do? When they flew back to Madrid after a game away from Spain, they brought Amelia a red velvet cake with the words ‘We’re Sorry’ written on it.

“We didn’t do anything wrong to Amelia.” Cristiano smirks, recalling that day.

Sergio laughs. “True, but I don’t know, I’m nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?”

“I’m nervous for you.”

“You don’t need to be, I’m as nervous as I can be.”

“Remember, need to know basis, don’t overwhelm her.”

“I got it,” Cristiano rolls his eyes. “You don’t need to keep repeating it.”

“Yeah, I just have to make sure we’re on the same page.” Sergio replies. “Shit, I can’t believe it man, you’re actually going to talk to her today. How you feeling? Where’s your head at?”

“I don’t know, I rather not talk about it. It’ll psyche me out.” Cristiano sighs. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for two years and I don’t even know where to begin.”

“You and Amelia never had difficulty talking to one another, I’m sure it’ll fall into place.” Sergio gives him some words of encouragement.

“What if it doesn’t? You said it yourself, things are different.”

“They are, but don’t be a pessimist. Amelia didn’t change. She’s still Amelia except without her memories.” Sergio purses his lips, stopping at a stoplight. “Don’t overthink it, let it fall into place.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ve been speaking to her for years.” Cristiano points out.

“Hey, don’t go there, I didn’t tell Vince to shut you off.” Sergio replies pressing the gas pedal as the light turns green.

“What does she say about me?” Cristiano questions curious as to what Sergio has been holding back from him. Sergio did state that Amelia speaks to him about her dreams and memories, he at least wants to know what she remembers.

“She usually remembers the time you two would hang out in Portugal, the times you would pick her up from school.” Sergio pauses for a moment, trying to recollect the information Amelia has given him. “It’s always random memories, never full ones. At times it starts from the beginning or in the middle or at the end. The one thing she has a fully memory of is when you were comforting her about Daniel.”

“What? So she remembers Daniel leaving her?” Cristiano questions.

“Not really, she just remembers you letting her cry and telling her everything was going to be okay.” Sergio replies. “I think it was the time that all she did was cry and you would come over after training to be with her.”

Cristiano nods his head. “I don’t know, I find it weird that she doesn’t remember anything about our relationship.”

“I know, it’s like selective memory. The most she remembers is right before you two got together.” Sergio shrugs. “Maybe since Vince and Jay tells her that you two know one another and nothing else, her mind is just consciously showing memories of you two together as friends.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, we’re here.” Sergio parks in front of the home Jay bought here in Madrid. Cristiano has never been here, but it’s quite a nice place. Both men slide out of the car, closing the door behind them. Sergio stands beside Cristiano, looking over at his friend. “Now or never.” The two men make their way towards the house, ringing the doorbell once they are in front. They hear footsteps coming towards the door, the lock being undone. The door opens revealing Daniel on the other side.

Sergio and Cristiano roll their eyes.

“You’re here?” Sergio questions.

“Moral support,” Daniel smirks, gesturing for them to come inside. “Nice to see you both.”

“Wish we can say the same,” Cristiano replies, walking pass him. “Where are Katia and my mom?”

“In the kitchen,” Daniel points the way to the kitchen.

Cristiano nods his head and makes his way over, Sergio following after him. Once they enter the kitchen, they find Amelia sitting on the island counter with Katia and Dolores cooking on the other side. It’s a déjà vu moment for both men, as when they would come home from the road, these two women would usually be in this spot. It’s like nothing has ever changed.

Katia turns, her face immediately lighting up when her eyes land on her brother. “Cristiano!” She enthusiastically greets him, walking over and giving him a hug. “You’re still a sight to see.”

“And you’re still, well, Katia,” he replies earning a slap on the arm. “Kidding, you are beautiful.”

Dolores comes over, giving her son a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The way they greet him is as if he’s been gone for so long, when in reality, it’s only been a couple of days.

“You played so well yesterday,” she tells him, pride beaming from her eyes. “Though you should eat more,” she frowns, pulling at his clothes. “Good thing we’ve cooked a feast.”

“Ma! I eat well, you know that,” he smiles down at her. “But it’s always good to come home to your home cooked meals.” He turns to his sister. “Though, should I be worried that you’re cooking?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll remember not to poison you.” She moves over to Sergio, giving him a hug. “Sergio, always nice to see you. Where’s your girl?”

“Always nice to see you Katia,” he pulls away. “Erica couldn’t come on such short notice. It’s okay.”

“I see,” she turns back to Amelia who’s just watching them. “Amelia, don’t be rude, say hello.”

Amelia jumps off the island counter, making her way over to them. Her eyes roam around Sergio before moving to Cristiano, doing the same thing. She smiles and immediately wraps her arms around Sergio. “Nice to see you again, Sergio. Even though I’m pretty sure I just saw you not too long ago.” She pulls away, pinching his cheeks. “You’re so adorable Sergio.”

“Amelia!” Sergio whines. “You know my cheeks are sensitive.” He rubs his cheeks.

“You’re such a crybaby,” she teases, poking his side.

Her attentions turn to Cristiano, whose eyes she can feel are on her. “Hi, I’m Amelia,” she sticks out her hand.

For a moment, Cristiano is thrown off because it’s not like they’ve never met before. But at the same time, the circumstances hit him and he shakes her hand. “Cristiano, it’s nice to finally be able to talk to you, Amelia.”

Dolores, Katia, and Sergio watch the moment, a smile spreading across their faces. They couldn’t help it. It’s been so long since they’ve seen the two together. It’s like watching everything from the beginning, seeing how the relationship evolves into this strong bond between two people who deeply love one another. Though, they shouldn’t get ahead of themselves, after all this is only their first meeting.

“Vince isn’t here, so I guess the restraints are gone.” She smiles making Cristiano laugh. “I don’t know if Sergio told you, but you’re my favorite football player.”

“That he did,” Cristiano chuckles. “Didn’t know you were a football fan.”

“It’s okay, I usually just watch when you’re on.” Amelia replies.

“You three should catch up in the living room, dinner will be ready soon.” Katia couldn’t hide the excitement in her voice. Her brother is finally getting his chance and Vince is nowhere near them to do anything about it. What surprises her is Amelia’s easy going ways with Cristiano. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s here along with her mother and Sergio as well, but she seems much more, open talking to Cristiano. Then again, Amelia’s been waiting to speak to Cristiano.

The three make their way to the living room, sitting down on the couch and the arm chair. Sergio and Cristiano take the couch, while Amelia sits on the arm chair. Daniel is outside smoking.

“So, how are you?” Cristiano questions Amelia.

“I’m good, just trying to live life day by day.” Amelia replies. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

Cristiano looks over at Sergio who in turn is looking at him. His eyes dart back to Amelia and he nods. “I don’t mind, go right ahead.”

“Are we related by any chance?” Amelia questions causing Sergio and Cristiano to laugh.

“No, don’t you worry about that, we are not related whatsoever.” Cristiano replies.

“Yeah, that would make sense since I used to date Daniel and he’s your cousin.” Amelia nods her head. Cristiano’s hands turn into a tight fist as Amelia mentions her relationship with Daniel. He wishes that she could find the box of their memories, just so this wouldn’t be so difficult.

Sergio looks over at Cristiano, trying to read if Cristiano would spill everything after that comment. He didn’t want to take a risk. “Amelia, how’s school?” He questions before Cristiano could reply to Amelia.

“It’s good,” Amelia shrugs. “It’s school, I much rather stay home because Vince insists on making me take morning classes.” Cristiano chuckles at this, knowing Amelia always had late classes. She’s not a morning person, so having her come in at nine in the morning is just going to have her sleepy and cranky.

“You’re not a big fan of morning classes.” Cristiano states causing Amelia’s attention to move over to him.

“I’ve never been a fan of the morning have I?”

“Nope,” Cristiano shakes his head. “The earliest class you’ve taken starts at noon.”

Amelia laughs. “It seems like my school habits haven’t changed.”

“Are you doing well in school?” Cristiano feels a bit off. She’s in the same room, yet she seems so far away. There’s this wall between them that hasn’t been there ever since they first met. He understands the circumstances, it’s the harsh reality of this situation, but he didn’t expect the wall to be here waiting for him.

“Yes,” Amelia nods her head. “I mean, my classes aren’t very difficult.”

Sergio stands up and excuses himself, wanting to leave the two alone. He knows he should stay for Cristiano, but it would be better if they’re left alone. It’s not like Amelia is going to shy away from Cristiano, she wants to talk to him. Amelia’s eyes follow Sergio and she feels a bit relief to see her friend walk away, which is a bit odd. Her eyes fall back to Cristiano and she smiles.

“Can I sit next to you?” Amelia questions.

“Uh, yeah,” Cristiano replies, a bit thrown off by her question. From what Sergio tells him, Amelia is usually closed off meeting new people, but maybe since she’s been dreaming about him and remembers a few things makes her at ease.

Amelia moves from the chair to the couch, keeping a bit of distance between her and Cristiano. She turns her body so that she’s facing him and her back is leaning against the arm of the couch. “Who were you to me before I lost my memory?”

Of course she’s going to ask that question. Cristiano’s mind is scrambling for an answer, one that shouldn’t be difficult to find. He can’t say the words boyfriend or fiancé, but friend seems to fit their relationship as well.

“We were best friends.” Cristiano replies.

“So we were close?” Amelia nods her head. “Makes sense.”

“What makes sense?”

“It’s just, when I first meet people, I’m very uneasy around them because I’m not exactly sure who they are. But then again, the way I met everyone, besides you and Daniel, I didn’t recall any memories with them.” Amelia explains. “But Daniel I saw the box of memorabilia and you, well, I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but I dream about you.”

Cristiano didn’t expect her to be this open. Amelia usually beats around the bush before getting to her point. There are times where she can be blunt, but she mostly waits till she can’t take it anymore. She’s non-confrontational, which led to a couple of problems in their relationship before.

“Dream about me? What do you usually dream about?” Cristiano presses her.

“It’s nothing big, just usually us hanging out or we would be with Iker, Sergio and Erica.” Amelia replies. “My memories of you are usually very odd, it’s never a full memory. It’s just bits and pieces of memories and they usually don’t make sense. I’m usually crying when I have memories of you.” She slightly laughs. “It seems like I was a crier.”

“You are a bit of a crier,” he teases making her laugh. He had to close his eyes for a moment, her laugh throwing him off guard. He hasn’t heard her laughter in years and he never knew how much he could miss it. Her laughter has always been contagious. Amelia is easily amused, so when she laughs, it’s only her at first but by the end she’ll have him laughing as well. “You just had a lot of difficult moments and that’s how we became closer.”

Amelia nods her head. “I just find it hard to believe we’re best friends. I mean, I can believe it because I feel so at ease with you, but at the same time, we haven’t spoken in two years.” She sighs. “Well, I guess it makes sense what Vince told me.”

“And what did Vince tell you?” Cristiano questions. He has his temper in check, there are no worries there. It’s rare he loses his cool around Amelia and he has to be extra careful now. But Vince just pisses him off. He needs to make sure that he’ll be able to talk to Vince. They need to get a few things straight and one thing will be his apparent control over Amelia.

“He told me that you blame yourself about the accident.”

He definitely needs to shove his foot up Vince’s ass. The lie this guy makes is just ridiculous. For a brief moment, he did blame himself. He could have avoided the driver, but there was a small chance to that. But he would never abandon her because of his so called pity party.

“It seems like your brother has a lot of explaining to do,” Cristiano mumbles.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Cristiano shakes his head. “I’m sorry, what I did, how everything turned out, it shouldn’t have been like this. I didn’t abandon you, I didn’t want to. Vince wanted you to recover, so I respected his decision.” He turns his body as well so that they’re both facing one another now. “Leaving you would have never been something I wanted to do.”

“I know, but we shouldn’t dwell on that, we just have to move forward.” Amelia says to him.

Cristiano nods his head. He stands up, leaving her in the living room. She’s not sure if she upset him, though she hopes she hasn’t. Before she can make a move to follow after him, he walks back in carrying a stuffed bear in his hands. It’s a medium size polar bear. Cristiano sits down beside her once more, handing the polar bear to her.

“This is yours,” he says to her.

Amelia takes the polar bear in her hands, Cristiano’s scent is all over the bear. She examines the bear, looking at it with fascination. This bear is familiar to her, she actually remembers this bear.

“It’s Alaska.” Amelia states, surprising Cristiano.

“What? How’d you remember the bear’s name?”

Amelia smiles. “I don’t know, it was one of those memories.”



Amelia stands beside Cristiano as he tries for the fifth time to win her a stuffed polar bear that caught her eye. Carnival games look extremely easy, yet they can be quite difficult. Amelia insisted that they can just buy a stuffed toy, but Cristiano took this challenge personally now. The game is quite simple. There are three bottles stacked together like a pyramid and all you have to do is knock them down. If you’re a pitcher, easy ass game, but if you’re not really a good thrower, it’s going to be quite a task.

“Cristiano, honestly, it’s fine.” Amelia tells him once again as he hands the guy five bucks.

“Amelia, I’m going to win that bear.” He insists, looking over at the bear. “Besides, you want that bear, I’ll get it for you.”

Amelia tries to fight back a smile, but she does anyway. Cristiano isn’t her boyfriend, but they have a mutual understanding. They’re dating, but just not official.

Jay joins Amelia, shoving kettle corn in his mouth as the two siblings’ watch Cristiano try for the fifth time.

“I bought kettle corn and he’s still not done?” Jay questions.

“Hush, a little support will be nice.” Amelia narrows her eyes at her older brother.

“Okay, jeez,” he turns over to Cristiano. “Go Cristiano, you can do it man, knock those bottles out.”

Cristiano mutters a ‘thank you’ before releasing the ball, no bottles down. He rolls his eyes, picking up another ball. He has three more shots. Missing two is not so bad, but he can’t keep missing. He needs to get that damn bear.

“If this was kicking a ball to knock those bottles, I’m sure you would have gotten it on the first try.” Jay tells him. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have upper body strength, use it man!”

“Jay, can you let him concentrate,” Amelia smacks her brother on the arm.

Second try, miss.

Third try, didn’t even make it close to the bottles.

His arm is getting tired and he didn’t want to keep spending his money on this. He took the challenge personally, but if he doesn’t get it after this shot, they’re leaving and he’s going to buy her a stuff toy far larger than the one they have here.

Fourth try is a little too strong, passing by the bottles.

“Last try man,” Jay informs him.

“Thanks for the reminder,” Cristiano replies dryly.

He picks up the ball, taking a deep breath. Hit or not, he’s taking Amelia to a toy store and buying her a damn bear. He throws the ball and it hits the pyramid right in the middle, causing the three bottles to fall.

“Oh my god! You did it!” She jumps in his arms, his arms wrapping around her body.

The worker, smiles and hands the polar bear to Cristiano. “Thanks,” Cristiano’s not sure why he said that since the guy easily made twenty-five dollars because of his persistence on winning the polar bear. “Here you go,” he hands it to Amelia.

“Thank you, it’s so adorable and really soft.”

Amelia hugs the doll, smiling up at him.



“Nice arm,” she compliments him.

Cristiano laughs. “Nice arm my ass, took me twenty-five throws to get Alaska.”

“Point is you did,” Amelia hugs the doll, nuzzling her face on the top of its head. “It’s so soft.”

Cristiano smiles at the sight before him. He never gave up on the thought of talking to her again. There was never really a choice. He knows he was going to talk to her again, it was only a matter of time. Here he is now, having a conversation with her about a stuffed animal he won for her years ago.

“Cristiano,” Amelia calls out.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not really sure who you exactly are, but I can tell you’re very important to me. Thank you for coming.” Amelia places the polar bear on the couch. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you, I can see in your eyes that it hurts that I don’t remember. I really wish I did, but I’m trying.”

Cristiano moves closer to her, opening his arms. He’s unsure why he did that since Amelia might just shy away from him, but instead she moves the polar bear and places it on the coffee table so she can fall into his embrace. His arms immediately wrap around her body, his own relaxing at the familiar contact. To his surprise, she’s relaxed as well, her arms wrapping around his body. He inhales her familiar scent, his embrace slightly getting tighter.

It’s the littlest things that you’ll miss. Hugs, laughter, kisses, etc. Their overall presence is what you miss when someone walks away from your life. But it’s a whole different feeling when they’ve been around, within your reach, but unreachable because of unseen barriers. She’s still far from him, but she’s move a step closer to him.