The Start
Chapter 2
Tony had been driving for hours when he decided that the best thing to do was to find a place to stay for the night, since it was getting pretty late. He didn’t really know where he was, but he was sure to be far from Jaime and Vic. He still wasn’t over the fact that Jaime would probably never be his. That was still breaking his heart to pieces. But he knew he was the one to blame. This had only happened because he hadn’t found the courage to tell Jaime about his feelings. He sighed loudly and parked his car near some random hotel. He didn’t know if he was going to stay there for long, but it didn’t matter to him. He just wanted Jaime more than anything. He got inside the hotel and walked up to the reception desk. This wasn’t a fancy place, but that was enough for Tony. The lady smiled widely at her but he didn’t pay any attention to her. He simply asked for a room and waited for her to get him the key. He then climbed up the stairs quickly and locked the door. He threw his phone on one of the bedside tables without even turning it and checking if someone had tried to contact him beforehand. It’s not like somebody would anyway. He knew it. People barely noticed when he was at his worst, and he had told his band mates that he was sick, so no one would be worried about him. He let himself fall down onto the bed and closed his tight, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. But this made him want to punch himself in the face.
“Why do you have to be so sensitive about it, Tony? Goddammit, you’re acting like one of these stupid high school girls who cry about their crush not liking them back,” he whispered for himself.
He sat up on the edge of the bed and buried his face in hands. He wasn’t sure what he should do now. He obviously intended to spend at least the night in this room but he’d have to see Jaime again sometime soon, since they were in the same band. Besides, he couldn’t just hide here forever. People would end up noticing that he wasn’t showing up anywhere anymore, even if that would take time. He shrugged all his unanswered questions away and stripped down to his boxers before slipping under the bed’s sheets. He’d think about everything once he’d have rested. Maybe is thoughts would be clearer then.
Tony woke up when he heard loud knocks on his door. He had no idea who that could be, but since no one he knew personally knew that he was staying here for a while, he guessed that it was someone from the hotel’s staff. He quickly got out of the bed and put his jeans on before opening the door. Surprisingly, Jaime was standing there. Tony blinked, wondering whether he was awake or simply dreaming. What the hell was he doing here? How did he know that Tony was here? This didn’t make any sense. The two men stood there silent for a while until Tony took Jaime’s hand, dragging him inside gently and closing the door behind them.
“I have no idea what you’re doing here but…”
“I could say the same thing about you,” Tony cut him off, staring intensely at him.
Jaime shook his head and frowned. That wasn’t the Jaime Tony had fallen in love with. He wasn’t cheerful enough and his smile was missing which were two things that Tony hated. He didn’t hate them more than Fuenciado, but they came right after that. Despite that, he still looked gorgeous and Tony wanted to hold him close to try and make his smile come back. But he realized that he probably was the only reason why the sad Jaime was here this morning instead of the joyful one. This thought made him feel guilty. What if Jaime had noticed the look of disgust and sadness on his face when he saw him holding Vic’s hand? What if during all these years, Jaime had noticed about Tony’s feelings towards him but had decided to ignore them until he eventually told him everything?
“You know why I’m here, man. I couldn’t take your bullshit yesterday. I knew you weren’t sick right from the beginning but I also knew that you didn’t want to talk about what was going on in front of everybody. I texted and tried to call you several times after band practice but you never replied. So I got worried. Now tell me what the hell is going on in your life. I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Tony shook his head and sighed, but it was out of relief. At least Jaime hadn’t noticed anything about his feelings and that was a pretty good thing. But maybe it was time to tell him everything. Maybe God, or whoever was up there, was giving him a chance to take some weight off his chest even if Jaime probably wouldn’t break up with Vic. He took a deep breath and looked down before looking up at Jaime again.
“Jaime it’s… Complicated,” he started
“Yeah, I figured. But it doesn’t matter. I just want to help you.”
“You don’t understand,” Tony said, shaking his head again. “I should have told you about this months ago, really.”
“Spit it the fuck out.”
Tony sighed again. He had no idea how to word this. It all seemed too complicated and he just felt stupid. He needed to tell Jaime about how he felt towards him, but he feared his reaction even more now that he had understood that Jaime actually cared about him more than anyone ever had before. He didn’t want to lose a friend like him. This would be too hard for him.
“You’re going to be fucking disgusted. I’m a jealous prick, okay? I just can’t stand seeing you and Vic happy and in a relationship with each other. It just hurts me. Because I’m in fucking love with you, Jaime,” he finally said, his voice shaking with sobs.
Jaime couldn’t believe it but he tried to ignore his own feelings and pulled Tony into a hug. He didn’t want his friend to be sad because he was dating Vic. He didn’t want his friend to be sad at all. He started rubbing Tony’s back comfortingly, trying to calm him down. He had no idea what to say though. He should have paid more attention to Tony and that was the only thing he knew. Everything was making him confused. He bit his lip hard and looked down at the man who was sobbing into his arms before kissing the top of his head. Tony looked up at him, sniffling softly before looking down and chewing on his bottom lip. He felt awkward, but the feeling was better than the one he felt earlier. He looked into Jaime’s eyes and started blushing. He then took a deep breath and crashed his lips against his friend’s. He had nothing left to lose. Jaime kissed back gently which was the thing that Tony was expecting the least. They stayed like this, kissing and gazing at each other for what seemed like forever for both of them, but this was one of the best moments of their lives for both of them. Tony had never felt so happy and comfortable. He felt like Jaime’s arms were made for him, no matter how cliché it sounds. Jaime’s stomach was filled with butterflies. No one had ever managed to make him feel like this before. Unfortunately, their loving moment was interrupted when Jaime’s phone started ringing. Jaime grabbed it and looked at the screen. Vic’s name on the screen made him come back to reality, but he couldn’t tell Tony. He had to figure something out on his own. He pecked Tony’s lips and smiled at him softly.
“I’ve got to go. I’ll call you soon, okay? I love you.”
Jaime stood up and left the room. Deep inside of him, Tony knew that it was Vic who was calling Jaime, but he tried to ignore it. The man he had been in love with for months had just told him that he loved him and it was all that mattered for now. He laid down onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew a lot of troubles were about to happen but he had Jaime and that made him stronger than anyone else.
“Why do you have to be so sensitive about it, Tony? Goddammit, you’re acting like one of these stupid high school girls who cry about their crush not liking them back,” he whispered for himself.
He sat up on the edge of the bed and buried his face in hands. He wasn’t sure what he should do now. He obviously intended to spend at least the night in this room but he’d have to see Jaime again sometime soon, since they were in the same band. Besides, he couldn’t just hide here forever. People would end up noticing that he wasn’t showing up anywhere anymore, even if that would take time. He shrugged all his unanswered questions away and stripped down to his boxers before slipping under the bed’s sheets. He’d think about everything once he’d have rested. Maybe is thoughts would be clearer then.
Tony woke up when he heard loud knocks on his door. He had no idea who that could be, but since no one he knew personally knew that he was staying here for a while, he guessed that it was someone from the hotel’s staff. He quickly got out of the bed and put his jeans on before opening the door. Surprisingly, Jaime was standing there. Tony blinked, wondering whether he was awake or simply dreaming. What the hell was he doing here? How did he know that Tony was here? This didn’t make any sense. The two men stood there silent for a while until Tony took Jaime’s hand, dragging him inside gently and closing the door behind them.
“I have no idea what you’re doing here but…”
“I could say the same thing about you,” Tony cut him off, staring intensely at him.
Jaime shook his head and frowned. That wasn’t the Jaime Tony had fallen in love with. He wasn’t cheerful enough and his smile was missing which were two things that Tony hated. He didn’t hate them more than Fuenciado, but they came right after that. Despite that, he still looked gorgeous and Tony wanted to hold him close to try and make his smile come back. But he realized that he probably was the only reason why the sad Jaime was here this morning instead of the joyful one. This thought made him feel guilty. What if Jaime had noticed the look of disgust and sadness on his face when he saw him holding Vic’s hand? What if during all these years, Jaime had noticed about Tony’s feelings towards him but had decided to ignore them until he eventually told him everything?
“You know why I’m here, man. I couldn’t take your bullshit yesterday. I knew you weren’t sick right from the beginning but I also knew that you didn’t want to talk about what was going on in front of everybody. I texted and tried to call you several times after band practice but you never replied. So I got worried. Now tell me what the hell is going on in your life. I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Tony shook his head and sighed, but it was out of relief. At least Jaime hadn’t noticed anything about his feelings and that was a pretty good thing. But maybe it was time to tell him everything. Maybe God, or whoever was up there, was giving him a chance to take some weight off his chest even if Jaime probably wouldn’t break up with Vic. He took a deep breath and looked down before looking up at Jaime again.
“Jaime it’s… Complicated,” he started
“Yeah, I figured. But it doesn’t matter. I just want to help you.”
“You don’t understand,” Tony said, shaking his head again. “I should have told you about this months ago, really.”
“Spit it the fuck out.”
Tony sighed again. He had no idea how to word this. It all seemed too complicated and he just felt stupid. He needed to tell Jaime about how he felt towards him, but he feared his reaction even more now that he had understood that Jaime actually cared about him more than anyone ever had before. He didn’t want to lose a friend like him. This would be too hard for him.
“You’re going to be fucking disgusted. I’m a jealous prick, okay? I just can’t stand seeing you and Vic happy and in a relationship with each other. It just hurts me. Because I’m in fucking love with you, Jaime,” he finally said, his voice shaking with sobs.
Jaime couldn’t believe it but he tried to ignore his own feelings and pulled Tony into a hug. He didn’t want his friend to be sad because he was dating Vic. He didn’t want his friend to be sad at all. He started rubbing Tony’s back comfortingly, trying to calm him down. He had no idea what to say though. He should have paid more attention to Tony and that was the only thing he knew. Everything was making him confused. He bit his lip hard and looked down at the man who was sobbing into his arms before kissing the top of his head. Tony looked up at him, sniffling softly before looking down and chewing on his bottom lip. He felt awkward, but the feeling was better than the one he felt earlier. He looked into Jaime’s eyes and started blushing. He then took a deep breath and crashed his lips against his friend’s. He had nothing left to lose. Jaime kissed back gently which was the thing that Tony was expecting the least. They stayed like this, kissing and gazing at each other for what seemed like forever for both of them, but this was one of the best moments of their lives for both of them. Tony had never felt so happy and comfortable. He felt like Jaime’s arms were made for him, no matter how cliché it sounds. Jaime’s stomach was filled with butterflies. No one had ever managed to make him feel like this before. Unfortunately, their loving moment was interrupted when Jaime’s phone started ringing. Jaime grabbed it and looked at the screen. Vic’s name on the screen made him come back to reality, but he couldn’t tell Tony. He had to figure something out on his own. He pecked Tony’s lips and smiled at him softly.
“I’ve got to go. I’ll call you soon, okay? I love you.”
Jaime stood up and left the room. Deep inside of him, Tony knew that it was Vic who was calling Jaime, but he tried to ignore it. The man he had been in love with for months had just told him that he loved him and it was all that mattered for now. He laid down onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew a lot of troubles were about to happen but he had Jaime and that made him stronger than anyone else.