Diary of an Unorthadox Pedophile

"I try to think of six impossible things before breakfast," Louis Carrol once wrote. . . At least he wrote something of that nature. But in my life, let's count those six impossible things:

One, I'm a fantastic teacher.
Two, I can get over my habit of smoking.
Three, I'm going to get my house cleaned up.
Four, I'll call my kid for the first time in four years.
Five, I'm not going to the bar anymore.
Six, a girl named Cherokee Williams can love a wretch like me.

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Pedophilia
Substance abuse
Swearing
Sexual situations