Road Trip to Hell
A Drive Away
The sight varies with each passing second, and that’s good; I can’t be bothered to concentrate on each running tree that goes by, as I have other things in mind. I catch short glimpses of a few electricity posts among the great amounts of green that are left behind in just a moment, but not even those grab my attention. Instead, I turn my head away from them; I don’t want to see any of it. I just want to see you.
You’re looking ahead with a serene look upon your face; it’s almost as the change of scenarios isn’t fazing you, as if you have no worries or concerns about where we’re headed. In fact, I realize that’s most likely true; none of us are preoccupied with what’s waiting for us at the end of this trip. I watch as you mindlessly tap away to no song, as we don’t want any soundtrack to the last day of your trip; we don’t want any kind of disturbance.
If I could, I would make you stop the car, right now. Looking at you, knowing you’re so close to me, I want to reach over and take your hand; I want to grab a hold of your face and turn it towards me, slowly pushing my lips against yours in the softest kiss you’ve ever had. Maybe things would change, then; maybe you’d pull your own hand to the back of my neck and keep me close; perhaps even push me back and crawl on my lap, feeling a burning desire for more. Maybe then we’d feel the happiness we’re so desperately seeking for; perhaps we’d exchange words, filling up the deathly silence that is now around us. Maybe I’d finally tell you just how much I love you.
However, I won’t do any of those things; I can’t do any of that, because, as much as I love you, there is something that I love more. Something we both share a will for, that we are both so eager for that we’d never change our minds. That’s the whole purpose of this road trip; it’s the reason why we embarked on this journey. A journey with a set end that we can’t miss; especially now. It’s far away from the place where we met, the place we became one, those many years ago, even if by mistake; this place is far away from everything we know, but closer to home than any of that could ever be.
As a small smile takes place on your lips, I know we’re close. I look ahead, just like you are doing, and see it; our final destination. Copying you once more, a small, content smile makes its way across my lips, and I steal a glance at you, just as you do to me. It’s almost time to feel complete, to feel like we finally belong. Through all our lives, we have never felt accepted; we have never felt like we belonged amongst the crowds we were inserted in, and that’s about to change. We are going to be wholeheartedly happy; for the first and the last time.
You let go of the steering wheel without hesitation, one of your hands running through your smooth hair and the other grabbing a hold of my own. I hold onto your hand as tight as I can, not for comfort, but because this is the last time I will be able to do so; my other hand is safely tucked under my legs, so that I won’t be tempted to pull you more towards me; this should be enough. As the end gets closer, our heartbeats increase simultaneously, both our hearts beating furiously as the adrenaline rushes through our veins; I can almost hear them ticking loudly, counting the seconds until we’ll be nothing but a mess of blood and limbs.
It has finally started and, suddenly, I feel something I don’t want to. I feel sad that this is the end; I don’t want it to be the end, all of a sudden. However, I don’t feel sad for myself; I feel it for you. I wish you could survive this, that you could continue your life without me, although we both know there are zero chances of that happening. The air is escaping my lungs, but I save some for myself; I stop breathing because I still have something to say.
With tears brimming at my eyes, I look at you and see the expression of serenity on your face, and, instantly, I feel better; even if this is the end for us, we will still be together. You look back at me and squeeze my hand, a tiny smile playing at your lips, and I reciprocate the gesture with a smile of my own. We’re getting closer and closer to the ground, and I deem it as my time to say what I want to say right before I die; right before our car crashes against the ground. Apparently, you have the same idea, as we both open our lips at the same time, the exact same words escaping our lips in a breathless whisper.
“I love you.”
You’re looking ahead with a serene look upon your face; it’s almost as the change of scenarios isn’t fazing you, as if you have no worries or concerns about where we’re headed. In fact, I realize that’s most likely true; none of us are preoccupied with what’s waiting for us at the end of this trip. I watch as you mindlessly tap away to no song, as we don’t want any soundtrack to the last day of your trip; we don’t want any kind of disturbance.
If I could, I would make you stop the car, right now. Looking at you, knowing you’re so close to me, I want to reach over and take your hand; I want to grab a hold of your face and turn it towards me, slowly pushing my lips against yours in the softest kiss you’ve ever had. Maybe things would change, then; maybe you’d pull your own hand to the back of my neck and keep me close; perhaps even push me back and crawl on my lap, feeling a burning desire for more. Maybe then we’d feel the happiness we’re so desperately seeking for; perhaps we’d exchange words, filling up the deathly silence that is now around us. Maybe I’d finally tell you just how much I love you.
However, I won’t do any of those things; I can’t do any of that, because, as much as I love you, there is something that I love more. Something we both share a will for, that we are both so eager for that we’d never change our minds. That’s the whole purpose of this road trip; it’s the reason why we embarked on this journey. A journey with a set end that we can’t miss; especially now. It’s far away from the place where we met, the place we became one, those many years ago, even if by mistake; this place is far away from everything we know, but closer to home than any of that could ever be.
As a small smile takes place on your lips, I know we’re close. I look ahead, just like you are doing, and see it; our final destination. Copying you once more, a small, content smile makes its way across my lips, and I steal a glance at you, just as you do to me. It’s almost time to feel complete, to feel like we finally belong. Through all our lives, we have never felt accepted; we have never felt like we belonged amongst the crowds we were inserted in, and that’s about to change. We are going to be wholeheartedly happy; for the first and the last time.
You let go of the steering wheel without hesitation, one of your hands running through your smooth hair and the other grabbing a hold of my own. I hold onto your hand as tight as I can, not for comfort, but because this is the last time I will be able to do so; my other hand is safely tucked under my legs, so that I won’t be tempted to pull you more towards me; this should be enough. As the end gets closer, our heartbeats increase simultaneously, both our hearts beating furiously as the adrenaline rushes through our veins; I can almost hear them ticking loudly, counting the seconds until we’ll be nothing but a mess of blood and limbs.
It has finally started and, suddenly, I feel something I don’t want to. I feel sad that this is the end; I don’t want it to be the end, all of a sudden. However, I don’t feel sad for myself; I feel it for you. I wish you could survive this, that you could continue your life without me, although we both know there are zero chances of that happening. The air is escaping my lungs, but I save some for myself; I stop breathing because I still have something to say.
With tears brimming at my eyes, I look at you and see the expression of serenity on your face, and, instantly, I feel better; even if this is the end for us, we will still be together. You look back at me and squeeze my hand, a tiny smile playing at your lips, and I reciprocate the gesture with a smile of my own. We’re getting closer and closer to the ground, and I deem it as my time to say what I want to say right before I die; right before our car crashes against the ground. Apparently, you have the same idea, as we both open our lips at the same time, the exact same words escaping our lips in a breathless whisper.
“I love you.”
♠ ♠ ♠
So, I wrote this from Jack's POV, but you don't have to read it like that. It's kind of opened up for everyone's interpertation; no names or genders are ever mentioned for a reason, and that's it - so you can read into this however you want.