What Went Wrong

Mark’s eyes slowly opened, and the sunlight seeping through the bathroom window instantly burned his eyes. He groaned and rubbed his beautiful, deep blue eyes before he took in his surroundings. He was lying in a bathroom tub, and he had no idea whose tub it was. He shook his head, looking around, hoping to see Tom. He frowned when his boyfriend was nowhere in sight.

He sighed and stood up slowly, pulling the shower curtain back and stepping out. He staggered over to the shiny mirror and looked at his reflection. He looked hung over; his eyes were red, he looked like he’d gotten little to no sleep, and his hair was sticking out in all directions.

He shook his head at his reflection and exited the bathroom, looking around the huge house. There were people passed out in every room, day old pizza lying around, and the smell of alcohol and vomit was almost overwhelming. He staggered around the first floor of the house twice, frowning when he couldn’t find his boyfriend.

He looked to his left and saw stairs and he bolted up them. He almost tripped over his best friend Travis, who was passed out at the top of the stairs with some blonde girl, but he finally made it over to the first room on the left. He opened the door slowly, just in case Tom wasn’t in there. His eyes roamed over the beige room, and he smiled when he didn’t see him. He closed the door quietly and made his way over to the next room.

He opened the wooden door and poked his head inside. He could feel his heart breaking in two. Tom was in there, but he wasn’t alone. He was in bed with a guy that had spiky black hair. He stood in the doorway, fighting back tears for a long while. His sorrow soon turned to fury and he swung the door open, making sure it hit the wall loudly. Both of them were startled awake and Tom sat up, looking Mark directly in the eyes.

“Mark, listen, I…” He started, his eyes pleading.

“No, you listen Tom. What the fuck is wrong with you? You decided to fuck some random guy at the same party I’m at? We’re done. Finished. Don’t talk to me.” Mark glared at the guy, who looked down guiltily, before he slammed the door closed and began walking down the stairs.

He let a few tears escape as he walked out of the house, making sure to slam it on his way out. He stormed over to his car and got in, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. A million thoughts were flooding his head as he started the car, salty tears staining his cheeks. He started to pull away when Tom jumped in front of the car. He pressed the brake immediately, glaring at his now ex-boyfriend through his blurry vision.

“Mark! Let me explain! Please!” Tom begged, his own tears streaming down his face.

“Explain what?! That you cheated on me?!”

“He means nothing to me! Please, baby!”

“Get out of the way, Tom,” his voice cracked as he put the car in drive once more. Tom reluctantly stepped out of the way and Mark sped off.

***
Mark was sitting in front of his television set, stuffing his face with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, wallowing in self pity. It had been three weeks since Tom had cheated on him, and he hadn’t left the house since then. He had sat at home, not showering, not eating properly, and not sleeping.

He scooped up some ice cream and twirled it around in front of his face, looking at it with dead eyes. He sighed and put the scoop back into the carton, setting it on the coffee table and grabbing the remote. He turned the television up louder than necessary and laid his head back, a single tear spilling out onto his cheek.

The phone began ringing and he lifted his head up, sighing again. It was probably Tom. Tom had been trying to contact him every day since the day after the party. He’d answered once, and they actually started talking and getting somewhere. Then, when Tom told him that he still loved him, Mark started crying and hung up on him. He didn’t know what to do. He never thought that Tom would cheat on him.

He sighed and grabbed the phone from the cushion beside him, clicking the ‘talk’ button and putting it to his ear. “What?”

“Mark? Please talk to me! Don’t hang up!” Tom’s voice plead from the other end. It sounded dry, hoarse, as if he had been crying.

“What do you want, Tom? Can’t you see I don’t want to talk to you?” He choked out.

“Can I come over? I just need five minutes. If you still want me to leave after that, I’ll leave. Please Mark?”

He nodded, biting his lip. “Sure. Five minutes.”

“Great. I’ll be over in half an hour.”

Click.

He listened to the dial tone for a good minute before he hung up, switching off the television. He sighed and got up, walking up the stairs and into his room. He knew that if Tom was coming over, he had to make an effort to make himself look good. He wanted Tom to see just what he’ll be missing out on now that they’re not together anymore.

He grabbed the clothes he’d need from his dresser and his disorganized closet and walked into his master bathroom. He set the clothes on the counter and reached into the fancy shower, turning the hot water on. He stripped his clothes and stepped in, letting the hot water relax his muscles.

He stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later, wrapping a blue, fuzzy towel around his waist. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and gelled up his hair. He hesitantly got dressed in a Famous Stars And Straps t-shirt and jeans. He stood in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection, and realized that he didn’t look like himself. Without Tom in his life, his usually full of life, bubbly blue eyes looked dead. He had bags under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep.

The doorbell rang, interrupting his thoughts. He sighed and looked himself over once more before he exited the bathroom and walked down the stairs slowly. He was positive that he wasn’t ready to see Tom again, but there wasn’t much he could do about now that he was actually here. He took a deep breath before he opened his large front door, revealing Tom.

He looked bad. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his brown hair was tangled in a mess on top of his head, and he looked as if he hadn’t eaten in a while. He gulped as he took in the appearance of his boyfriend, realizing that he’d been taking it just as hard as he had.

“Uh, hi. Can I come in?” Tom asked, his voice quiet.

Mark nodded and turned, walking down the hallway and to the living room. He settled into the couch as he heard the door click shut and footsteps walking down the hard wood floor hallway. Tom awkwardly walked up to the couch and sat down next to Mark, careful to keep the distance.

“You have five minutes,” Mark broke the silence first, trying to look anywhere but those beautiful, mysterious brown eyes.

Tom cleared his throat and paused before he spoke, his voice low. “Mark, I want you to know up front that I love you. I love you more than I thought possible. I always knew I loved you, but these past weeks without you have really opened my eyes to how much I need you. I can’t explain how much I love you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but sit home and cry knowing that I’ve lost you.”

He paused long enough to make eye contact with Mark, whose eyes were shimmering with tears. “Mark, I know I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. He means nothing to me, though. He’s just some Canadian guy I met and he was talking to me in French, and I had so much vodka, and I’m just so sorry. I need you so much, it’s killing me. I’m so sorry Mark, you have to believe me. I love you.”

Mark’s tears began to fall freely now, and he realized Tom was tearing up as well. He reached his hand up and whipped away his tears, not wanting Tom to know how much he wanted to take him back. He refused to let Tom know that he could win him back that easily. He’d have to fight for it.

“He really means nothing to you?” He questioned, looking into the big brown eyes that he’s been in love with for years.

Tom shook his head, his brown hair flipping back and forth. “He means nothing to me. Absolutely zero, I mean it.”

“Was he better than me?” He asked coldly, folding his arms across his chest.

Tom’s eyes got wide and he shook his head again. “No! No one’s better than you.”

“And you promise you’ve never cheated on me before this?”

“I swear on the band, you, Travis, on everything I love that it has never happened before and it never will again.”

After a long moment of intense eye contact between the two, Tom decided to speak again. “Will you take me back, Mark?”

Mark bit his lip and stared at him, not sure of what to do. Of course, he wanted to take him back. He was in love with him and he wanted to make it work, but on the other hand, Tom had broken his trust. How did he know he’ll never do it again?

He sighed and looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. “Tom, you know that I love you. I want to take you back so badly, but I don’t know if I can trust you again. I-I just don’t want to get hurt again, because I couldn’t stand to lose you again.”

Tom’s eyes filled with tears and he reached his arm out, cupping Mark’s chin and making him meet his eyes. “Mark, I will never ever cheat on you again. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was drunk and confused and stupid. I know that’s not a good reason, but I feel really guilty. I could never cheat on you again, because I don’t think I could stand putting you through this much pain again.”

Mark stared into his eyes, believing every word he just said. Everybody deserves a second chance right? He believed Tom wouldn’t do it again. He may have broken his trust, but he could always earn it back. Their love was strong enough to concur anything it came across, and he was sure of that.

He smiled softly. “Okay.”

“Okay? Okay what?”

“I believe I can trust you. I love you, Tom, and I’m willing to give you another shot. Let’s get back together.”

Tom’s lips that had been carved into a frown for past three weeks suddenly smiled the widest smile he’d smiled in a long time. His eyes lit up and he leaned forward, mashing their lips together in the passionate kiss that both of them had been longing for ever since the day after the party. He placed his hands gently on Mark’s back and Mark in turn tangled his hands in Tom’s already messy hair, pulling it softly.

They pulled away after a while and beamed at each other. Mark couldn’t help but feel like he made the right decision taking him back. He leaned forward and kissed his lips again. He pulled back and smiled again before he scooted closer and leaned his head on his chest. He breathed in the musky, warm, cinnamon scent that he’d longed for for weeks and nuzzled in closer, enjoying every second.

Tom gently stroked his hair and studied his face, taking in every little detail. He mentally made himself vow to never hurt him again. How could he have done that to him? He would never put Mark through unnecessary pain again.

Around midnight, he felt his eyelids getting heavy and he slowly closed them, breathing deeply before he drifted off into the most peaceful sleep he’s gotten in weeks.