Blind Man

Jakub Voracek was disappointed in the way the 12-13 season had ended for the Flyers. All he wanted was to be home in Kladno with his friends. With Janah.

Janah Novak had been Janie, the girl next door, for as long as Jake could remember. They had grown up together, the only girl in an otherwise tightly knit group of boys. Jiri Tlusty and Ondrej Pavelec were two years older than Janie and Jake but once they had all become friends, the bond couldn’t be broken.

At 17, Jake was the last of the three guys to leave Kladno for Canada to pursue a dream of playing hockey in the NHL. While Jake had been playing hockey in Canada, Janie had been home, finishing school, and applying for college in the US. In August 2007, when they were both 18, Jake was drafted by the Columbus Blue Jackets and Janie was there with his family for the day. A few days after, Jake helped her move into her new dorm at Duke University in North Carolina.

Stepping off a plane back home that May afternoon, Janie made her way through the airport, smiling when she spotted Jake waiting on her. She waved and he started to wave back, his hand stilling, his smile faltering, as Jiri came up behind her and wrapped an arm round her waist, hugging her close and kissing her just behind the ear.

Jake felt his heart clench and a moment of white hot rage pass through him as Janie and Jiri approached him. Jiri’s smile was wide as he greeted his friend and gave him a bro hug. Janie pushed him aside with a laugh and launched herself at him, squeezing him tight.

“Jakub! Jak se máš?” she gushed, kissing both his cheeks lightly. (How are you?)

“Dobře. Jsem ráda, že jsi doma. Je mi líto, jsem vynechal své promoce.” (Good. I’m glad you are home. I am sorry I missed your graduation.)

Jake watched as her features softened and she turned her smile to Jiri who slung an arm around her shoulders, tucking her against his side. “You were busy, I understood,” she answered him. “Jiri came.”

He reached for Janie’s bag and led the way out to his car. “I’m just glad one of us was able to be there then,” he replied tightly.

She ruffled his hair and tugged at the curls. “Your hair is too long.”

“I like my hair,” he protested, shaking it out.

She giggled at him. “It’s poofy. I like it better short.”

Jiri laughed. “It is very poofy, man,” he said. Jake frowned.

“I like your scruffy beard though,” Janie added, reaching out to cuff his chin, giving the hair there a sharp tug. He smiled at that.

They piled into his car and drove through the city. Janie’s voice filled the car and Jake found himself having a hard time concentrating on anything else. He drove towards Jiri’s home first and when he parked in the driveway, Janie followed him out of the car.

“I’ll be back in a second,” she said to Jake. He nodded and watched her follow Jiri up to the front door. Jake watched as Jiri leaned in to her and said something close to Janie’s ear. She put a hand on his chest and laughed before he pulled her in and kissed her quickly. He swatted her butt as she turned to walk back to the car, and she shot him a look over her shoulder as he laughed. She blew him a kiss before slipping back into the front seat beside Jake.

“Ready?” he asked. She nodded and Jake waved to Jiri as he pulled away and drove towards Janie’s parents house.

“So...you and Jiri?” Jake finally asked after ten minutes of silence filled the car. “I didn’t realize you two were that close.”

Janie turned to look at him. “Things change,” she shrugged.

“You two used to fight all the time when we were kids.”

“When he got traded to the Hurricanes four years ago, I called him and offered to show him around since I was already living in the area. We became better friends living in the same town but Jiri was still Jiri. It wasn’t until he came back this year, after the lockout ended, that things changed between us.”

“You’re together?”

“He is my boyfriend.”

“Does Ondrej know?”

“No. What? You thought we told everyone but you?” He nodded. “We didn’t tell anyone. I mean, it wasn’t a secret; I know his teammates, I went as his date to a few things. It just sort of happened I guess. It’s only been official between us for a few weeks.”

The car fell silent again as he finished the rest of the drive to Janie’s parents house. He parked in the driveway and grabbed her bag from the back and followed her up to the front door. Her mother greeted them, inviting Jake in for dinner. He begged off, gave Janie a quick hug, and drove off towards his own home.

At home, Jake grabbed a beer from the fridge and sank into his couch, soon lost in his own thoughts about Janie. He had been looking forward to seeing her since the season ended. He hadn’t gotten to talk to her much during the shortened season, with all the games crammed into four months, and with her finishing her last semester of classes. She hadn’t even been able to make the only matchup between the Flyers and Hurricanes in Raleigh because of finals. It had been close to a year since he had last seen her in person, before she had flown back to North Carolina for school and he stayed in Kladno because of the lockout.

Even still, she always stayed on his mind. She always had been. Maybe he should have said so, maybe he should have taken stock of his own feelings because now, he couldn’t get the image of her and Jiri together out of his mind. It was with a certain clarity that in that moment, as the two people who were his oldest friends had moved towards him in an airport, that he realized exactly what Janie meant to him.

Janie had been his friend from the moment she had moved in next door to him when they were kids. He remembered clearly the first day she had walked out of her house in the middle of summer, walked right up to Ondrej and demanded to be included in their game of street hockey. Jiri had laughed at her, told her girls couldn't play hockey. She pushed him down, even though he had been 10 and she was only 8 and tiny compared to the three of them. Jakub had jumped to her defense and said she could play on his team. The older two boys had dominated them but the friendship between he and Janah was set in stone from that day forward.

There had been a different adventure every summer, from wreaking havoc on the Tlusty family turkey farm as kids, to summers spent at the pool as teenagers. Girls became a priority for Jiri and Ondrej first, and then Jakub. Boys began to notice Janah but she shied away from them, preferring the company of her three friends. Eventually hockey became more and more of a focus for the three boys. Janah and Jakub saw the most of each other since they were neighbors, and she was always there to support him when he played. They didn’t drift apart but the idea that Janah would date never really crossed Jakub’s mind, nor was it ever anything that worried him.

Jakub’s first NHL game had been in Dallas and it hadn’t taken much convincing to get Janah on a plane and at the game to cheer for him. She supported each of the three but Jake was always her favorite and everyone knew it. They had always been the closet of the bunch, partners in crime really. There was never a moment of hesitation when he asked her to be there, to flying three hours to see him play his first NHL game, to witness his first NHL goal in his first game. She had cheered wildly for that, jumping out of her seat and screaming at the top of her lungs for him. People had looked at her funny but she hadn’t cared; that was her best friend after all.

They only had a few minutes after the game together; the Blue Jackets were off to Phoenix for a game against the Coyotes the next night. He had made sure to leave Janah a pass to get past security after the game and she waited patiently outside the visitors locker room for him to appear.

“Jakub!” she squealed, rushing towards him as he exited the locker room. She hugged him tightly as a flurry of words spilled from her mouth. “Jsem na tebe tak pyšná! Váš první cíl! Ty jsi cvok!” (I am so proud of you! Your first goal! You're such a stud!)

“Jsem rád, že jste tady.” (I’m glad you were here.)

“Byl jsi úžasný!” she gushed. (You were amazing)

“You fly your girlfriend in, rookie?” Rick Nash teased as he walked out.

“This is my best friend, Janie,” Jake answered.

“Hello,” she said politely.

“Rick,” he replied as they shook hands. He turned back to Jake. “She’s not your girlfriend?”

“No,” Jake laughed. “Just friends.”

“Huh,” Rick continued. “You might want to rethink that,” he said before walking off.

“Sorry,” Jake said. Janie brushed it off and hugged him again.

“So I’ll see you over my fall break?” she asked.

Jake nodded. “I booked your plane tickets last night.”

“I could’ve done that.”

“But I wanted to. Consider it an early Christmas present.”

She laughed. “You’re always too good to me.”

“Well you’re my best friend; who else would I spend my money on?”

She kissed his cheek and they hugged again. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

Janie usually spent any extended break from school by visiting Jake, in Columbus, and after the trade, in Philly. It was easier to stay with him then fly home and back. The first time she had visited him in Philadelphia, he had taken some good natured teasing from his new teammates when they found out his pretty friend was only his friend. He had to keep a close eye on Janie while she was there, as Max Talbot turned on the charm whenever she was around, always turning her into a giggling, blushing mess over the french he would speak to her, and his devilish grin.

That season, knowing her spring break was closing in, Jake had called to see if she was coming to stay with him but she had stayed behind at school, preparing for the end of the year and graduation. Now, looking at her Facebook, he knew differently. She had been seeing Jiri and she didn’t tell him.

He wasn’t sure how he felt exactly. Mad that they had kept it from him but truly, they hadn’t. If he had been paying attention, he would have seen for himself. There were pictures on Facebook, back and forth on twitter between them. It was all there, friendly and innocent but the beginning, the building of something between his two friends. He had taken care to make sure nothing went on between Janie and his teammates but never considered Jiri as a threat. He was pretty sure they only tolerated each other because of Jake and Ondrej, never considered they’d be anything more.

And now, the feeling that pained him most was jealously.

Jakub had never stopped to consider Janah as anything more than his friend until he started to miss her during the season, once he had come back to Philadelphia and he hadn’t seen her as often as he normally would have. He tried pushing the thoughts away and when they did talk, it was always light, Janie asking how his season was, congratulating him on a goal or a win. He hadn’t asked her much about her life in North Carolina. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should have confessed his feelings sooner.

The truth was, he didn’t know exactly when those feelings started. All he knew for sure was that seeing her that afternoon in the airport was like really seeing her for the first time. And the chance he didn’t even know he wanted slipped completely away.

Jake rose from his spot on the couch and walked to his bedroom. In the closet, he pulled a worn photo album down from a shelf and sat with it in his lap on his bed. Flipping it open, he smiled at the images of him and Janie. As kids, playing in the streets, enjoying an ice cream on a hot summer day, on vacations their families had taken together. There were photos of the four of them playing hockey, Janie always the only girl. No one dared tell her she couldn’t play, not with the three boys always sticking up for her.

There were pictures of just the two of them, goofing off with each other, others in moments neither of them ever remembered anyone taking a picture of. His favorite was them sitting under a tree at sunset. It was taken from behind them so you couldn't see their faces but their heads were bent together. Jakub remembered they had been talking about him leaving for Canada. It was their last summer together before he had left.

There were pictures of Ondrej carrying her around on his back when they were older, Janie’s head thrown back in laughter. They had gone to Prague, the first summer after Ondre had gone to Canada to play in juniors, and were racing through the streets, enjoying life as invincible teenagers. Jake had snapped the photo after Janie had leaped onto his back nd Ondrej had taken off at a run, Janie grabbing him tight and laughing as he let out a roar and charged towards Jiri.

There were pictures at his draft day, when they moved her into her dorm at her American college. He had been proud of her for doing that on her own. There were pictures of the four of them, the four musketeers they had been known as around town, pictures of Janie and Jiri fighting with each other (something they did often). Even with all the teasing and picking Jiri did to her, he always had her back. Even Jakub could admit that. They all had. It was unspoken that they all cared about her, that they would all look out for her.

The summer felt like it passed more quickly than any before. They were all at home, and they did things together like they always did. They were still the four musketeers, but the dynamic had shifted. No longer was Janie his go to. She was Jiri’s. It had been weird the first few times but he was slowly coming to grips with it. They weren’t showy and mostly things passed as they always had, except for the two weeks the pair had spent in Australia together. As the summer drew to a close, they gathered at Jake’s for an end of summer barbecue. Janie had taken over his kitchen, making food while Ondrej manned the grill. Jake helped her in the kitchen.

“Your hair looks good,” Janie said, ruffling his short locks as he chopped vegetables. “I like it short. The girls in Philly should go crazy for you if you keep it like that.”

“They hated when Claude cut his,” he pointed out.

“You’re so much better looking than Giroux though.”

“You have to say that because you’re my friend.”

“Excuse you,” Janie laughed, bumping her hip into his. “I am your best friend. And I’m obligated to ensure that you look your best at all times.”

“Well thanks for looking out for me then.”

“If I didn’t, who would?” The timer on the oven went off and she grabbed a pair of pot holders and pulled the cake from the oven, setting it aside to cool.

Jake piled the vegetables onto a platter and walked to the fridge, grabbing a beer for himself and a bottle of wine. He poured Janie a glass of wine and passed it to her. “What are you doing when we all head back?” he asked.

Janie paused, a thoughtful look on her face as she took a sip from her wine. “I’m going back to Raleigh. I was accepted back at Duke for my graduate studies.”

“So I guess you won’t be visiting me during your breaks anymore then.”

Janie blushed and glanced away from him. “Jiri asked me to move in with him,” she replied quietly.

The words took Jake by surprise. Jiri had always been the playboy of the group, enjoying the girls that came with the life of single professional hockey player. “Oh,” he finally said. “That’s really great for you two. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. Ondrej made a face at them through the window and Janie giggled. She squeezed Jake’s hand before walking outside and hugging Ondrej. Jake watched as Jiri said something to him and Ondrej shook his head, holding Janie tighter. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his middle. Ondrej smiled triumphantly and Jiri turned, walking into the kitchen.

“Looking forward to the season?” Jiri asked as he grabbed two beers from the fridge.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to get back to it." He paused for a split second before diving in to the thoughts in his head. "Janah said you asked her to move in with you.”

Jiri glanced out the window to where Ondrej had turned over control of the grill to the girl they all loved. “Yeah, I did.” He looked back at Jakub and set the two beers down on the counter. “Look, I know you and I haven’t talked about it and I know she’s always kind of been your girl but I really do care about her.”

“Do you love her?” Jake asked. He studied Jiri’s face as he waited for him to answer, watching for a flicker of doubt, of uncertainty, anything. It didn’t come.

“I do...but I haven’t told her yet.”

“You love her?”

Jiri nodded. “I think I always have. She’s perfect; smart, sweet, funny, caring. She makes me smile.”

“When did you know?”

“When I got back to Raleigh after the lockout. I called her to catch up, take her to dinner and it felt different. I felt different about her. We started hanging out more often, and she started coming to as many of our home games as she could. I brought her with me to Casino Night. I know I was always the jerk growing up but don’t they say boys pick on the girls they like?”

“You’re sure?”

“About her? Of course. You know I’d never do anything to hurt her, right? You and Ondrej would kill me and chop me up into little pieces and then scatter the body parts so no one would ever find me. I didn’t go into this lightly. I knew I had to be serious about her. I am serious about her, Jake. I promise you that. I know she’s your best friend and I’m guessing that you had a different plan for this summer, with her, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t have a plan but whatever I might have been thinking you beat me to.”

“It wasn’t a competition.”

“I know. I just didn’t think you and her....”

“Me neither, bud.” Jiri smiled. “Look, I promise to take care of her, to love her, to treat her like she deserves. I won’t do wrong by her. I think she could be the one.”

“It’s August; you’ve only been together since April. She told me.”

“I’ve known that girl my whole life. Maybe she’s only been my girlfriend for the last few months but I know everything about her, and she knows everything about me. If you can’t be happy for me, I understand. But at least be happy for her.”

Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I am happy for both of you. I just.... I gotta get used to this."

"You've had all summer," Jiri chuckled.

"I had all summer to realize that I'm the idiot that didn't notice her, didn't realize what she could be."

Jiri grinned. "You're not an idiot. We all knew how great she is. I just won the lottery."

Jake shoved him good naturedly. "Don't screw it up," he warned.

"I won't, don't worry."

Several hours later, they sat around reminiscing, sharing old stories, laughing about memories they had forgotten. Jiri and Janah left first, heading back to his house for a flight out the next day to Raleigh. Jake and Ondrej cracked open one last beer together after they were gone.

"You good?" Ondrej asked.

"Yeah," Jake answered. "I'm good."

"You sure? I know she's your friend first...."

"Jiri will take care of her."

"You believe that?"

"Yeah."

"So when did you figure out you were in love with her too?" Jake stopped midway to raising his beer bottle to his lips. "Well?" Ondrej prompted.

"I'm not in love with Janie. I might have been, if I had realized sooner, but she's happy, with Jiri. And I'm happy for them."

"You mean that?"

"I mean that. I'll meet someone one day."

"She won't be Janie."

"No, but she'll be the right girl for me,” he smiled.

Two weeks later, Jakub flew back to Philadelphia and on his first night back in town, joined some of his teammates out to dinner. Their waitress caught his eye and he got her number before they left. Maybe she’d be the one, maybe she wouldn’t, but this time, Jake would not wait for the right girl to find him. He’d keep his eyes open and when he felt like he was seeing the sun for the first time, he’d know he’d found the one.