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Quiescence
Six.
Aroused with horror, my mind snaps awake. Whether or not my heart is awake is undetermined –but my mind is. Sweat pours down my forehead, plinking onto my blotched and bloody arms. Sweat pours out of my eyes and into my gaping mouth and suddenly I realize I’m drowning. I’m drowning in sorrow and greed and poisonous gas more viscous than Laci’s laugh. Laci
His name slips off my swollen and throbbing tongue but my mind is so far away I don’t even know if I formulate his name right. It sits sour and uncomfortable in my mouth – nothing that could be remotely compared to how is used to be; sweet and pleasant and gave me this certain light-headedness every time I said it. I didn’t even need to hear how it sounded to get the sensation.
I see Laci at the surface, shimmering in the ripples the ocean cascades upon him, as I sink lower and lower into the gaseous ocean. A thought darker than the night, heavier than the pressing forces of the insidious ocean, and brighter than any other aspect of this chaotic farce gains buoyancy in my mind.
My thoughts continue to lighten up then dim down again as a screaming wail resonated throughout me. The brightest and most real though suddenly shatters my glass dome. I am suddenly struck with the realization that one day I would not wake up. And I would not be able to see Laci. The only thing that scares me more than death itself right now is the omitted presence of Laci.
Laci
He’s here.
Not at the surface of the perilous ocean.
Not in the bright, airiness of Heaven.
But he’s here.
And the screaming wail envelops him, too. And it’s right then I realize he grasping my hands, clutching them to his chest. His voice spills over like a velvet curtain, encompassing an entire stage of pleasantries. It’s all so funny to me, the way the screamo music is blasting through the speakers, him holding my hands as we meander down the cobblestone streets in my noble Arctic. Ah, my Arctic. What a jeep she is. Was. Was
Laci’s not in the Arctic with me. He’s still here, just not in the Arctic.
My thoughts erupt in color again as I let them tide me over, as I’m a piece of sea glass tumbling in the tumultuous sea, residing in the very presence of change.
I try not to think anymore, I try to accept it all.
I try to accept the light grasping for me.
He won’t let me go, you see.
His name slips off my swollen and throbbing tongue but my mind is so far away I don’t even know if I formulate his name right. It sits sour and uncomfortable in my mouth – nothing that could be remotely compared to how is used to be; sweet and pleasant and gave me this certain light-headedness every time I said it. I didn’t even need to hear how it sounded to get the sensation.
I see Laci at the surface, shimmering in the ripples the ocean cascades upon him, as I sink lower and lower into the gaseous ocean. A thought darker than the night, heavier than the pressing forces of the insidious ocean, and brighter than any other aspect of this chaotic farce gains buoyancy in my mind.
My thoughts continue to lighten up then dim down again as a screaming wail resonated throughout me. The brightest and most real though suddenly shatters my glass dome. I am suddenly struck with the realization that one day I would not wake up. And I would not be able to see Laci. The only thing that scares me more than death itself right now is the omitted presence of Laci.
Laci
He’s here.
Not at the surface of the perilous ocean.
Not in the bright, airiness of Heaven.
But he’s here.
And the screaming wail envelops him, too. And it’s right then I realize he grasping my hands, clutching them to his chest. His voice spills over like a velvet curtain, encompassing an entire stage of pleasantries. It’s all so funny to me, the way the screamo music is blasting through the speakers, him holding my hands as we meander down the cobblestone streets in my noble Arctic. Ah, my Arctic. What a jeep she is. Was. Was
Laci’s not in the Arctic with me. He’s still here, just not in the Arctic.
My thoughts erupt in color again as I let them tide me over, as I’m a piece of sea glass tumbling in the tumultuous sea, residing in the very presence of change.
I try not to think anymore, I try to accept it all.
I try to accept the light grasping for me.
He won’t let me go, you see.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is honestly my favorite chapter so far ^_^ But is it the end?Please don't be a silent reader :) God Bless!