Welcome to Anna's World

Anna's PoV:
Two weeks went by since that shopping day. I met the bands and families of both Ryan and John and I must say they're very nice. Jack, the guitarist of John's band "Rockets" and Johnny, who's the guitarist from Ryan's band "Bullet In Your Face" even showed me some licks and tricks on guitar. They're really cool. I think I grew the closest with Jack though I don't really know why. Ryan and John made him my godfather and we hang together lots of times.

I watched the things flying by the car window. We were on our way to school. Today was my first day. I was looking forward to having school because I like learning stuff, but hate being the new kid in a school. John was driving as usual and parked in an empty spot in front of a big light turquoise, modern building. "Excited for school?" , Ryan asked while opening my car door. I just shrugged my shoulders. "We'll see", I mumbled. John laughed and we made our way inside. I have been talking more to them and stopped stuttering so much.

Once inside the building we went straight to the principal's office. After a long conversation and handing me a map of the school and my timetable, we were standing outside the car again. School hasn't begun yet, but the parking lot slowly filled itself. "Have fun and take care of yourself", Ryan said, while hugging me. "We'll pick you up after school", John added, also gave me a hug. I waved at them as they were driving away.

I looked at my watch. It was about ten minutes until the bell rang. Good, I thought, enough time to find the right classroom. I picked up my timetable to see where I have to go first and the map to find a way to it. I walked around for a couple of minutes staring down on the map. I had maths first. I was so focused on my map that I ran into someone and all my things were scattered on the floor. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry", he said and helped me collect my stuff. "It's okay", I mumbled and shyly looked up to him. He was a little taller than me. He had black middle length hair with side cut bangs, black skinny jeans and a white Ramones tee-shirt on. That made me smile. He nervously looked at me but when he saw my black Ramones tee-shirt he smiled as well. He handed me my stuff and asked: "Are you new?" I nodded. He took a look at my timetable and his smile grew. "Wow, we have the exact same classes!" , he exclaimed, "so, uhhh we could g- go there now to- together?" That last part sounded more like a question. I mumbled an "okay", too shy to talk louder. "So what's your name?" , he was wondering when we were walking down the hall. I assumed he knew where to go so I followed him. "Anna", I answered him, "and you?" We were already in the classroom when he answered: "Nicholas, but you can call me Nick or N-Nicky." I couldn't believe how shy he was, he almost stammered while talking to me. "Aaaawwww can I call you Nicky too?" , I sarcastic female voice said behind us. We both turned and I saw three blonde girls dressed in pink standing in the doorway. "Who's she?!", one of them exclaimed with her high pitched voice. I handed the teacher my paper, which said who I was. He looked at it and said: "Ahhh, Anna Rocket, the new student. Welcome. I hope you'll like it here." He pointed to the three girls from before: "There is an empty spot over there", but luckily he also pointed out another spot next to Nicky, "or one over there. You can choose." I thanked him and slowly went over to Nicky. I didn't want to annoy him or something that's why I shyly asked him if I could sit there next to him. He smiled widely again and nodded. “I like your shirt”, he added. I giggled and replied that I loved his as well.
The lesson began. I kind of like maths even though I’m not really good at it. Every now and then I heard whispers coming from the tables with the three blondes. I soon figured they talked about me, not that I would care anyway.

After a double lesson maths, I followed Nicky to the next class through the masses. Every now and then he looked behind him to see if I was still there. As soon as he saw me he turned around again, smiling. He seemed to be so happy with me around, so I stuck to him until lunch. I abandoned him though when we arrived at the cafeteria and searched for an empty table. About five minutes later he came by my table and tried to speak to me while blushing madly: “C-can I...uhh... s-sit h-here?” Damn, he even stuttered more than I did when I met my new parents. I nodded of course. I just left him before, because I thought he didn’t want me around him all the time. He sat down and we slowly and both incredibly insecurely started a conversation. We ended up talking about music and bands until lunch time was over.

Since we both have the same timetable through the week I followed him again to the next class, which was something I didn’t recognize from my previous school timetables. “Psychology”, he stated while sitting down on what I assumed was his regular seat. As always there was an empty seat beside him, which I was glad for. I gave the teacher my note and she looked up at me with excitement. Uh -oh, not good, I thought. Overly excited teachers always get disappointed with me. “You’re Anna, aren’t you?” , she chirped with such a big smile on her face that it seemed almost creepy, or fake. She came around her desk and hugged me surprisingly what made me jump a few steps backwards. I just awkwardly stood there glancing over at Nicky who gave me a sympathetic look. When she finally released me out of her arms, I walked over to the seat next to Nicky without saying a word. “We basically talk to each other about our personal life”, Nicky continued. I sighed loudly and put my head on the desk. I am not the person that talks about personal life, well, life in general. We had three lessons now of this, so basically the whole afternoon.

The bell rang, class has begun. “Welcome class!” , Mrs Mollins, the teacher began. “Is she on drugs?” , I asked Nicky, being dead serious. “I have been asking that myself for two years”, he answered with the same tone of seriousness. We quietly giggled until Mrs Mollins drew our attention back to her. “Class we have a new student! And you all know what we are doing with new students in this class! Anna, come forward!”, she told us in an almost yelling tone. Oh, no, I thought before I made my way and sat on the chair in front of the class that Mrs Mollins put up for me. “This is Anna!”, she shouted again, “and as always I will ask her some questions, which she then has to answer!” I couldn’t figure out why this woman always yelled. “There is one rule: You must not tell lies!”, she almost screamed now at the bored faces in front of us. I began to get slightly nervous.

She spoke up: "Question number 1: Did you ever self-harm?" Wow. She seriously started off with a question like that?! I wasn't sure if I should tell the truth or not. Unsure I stated: "Uhmmm, no?" It sounded more as a question than I intended to. Mrs Mollins narrowed her eyes. "You know Anna, I have read your file and it says something different in there", she said. I couldn't believe what came out of her mouth. "What?! What file?!", I exclaimed hysterically. She looked at me questioningly and answered: "You're file of the orphanage you've been in before you came to us. It's okay, you know, I informed the class about you and what's in your file before you came here." - "Well, thank you", I muttered angrily. I couldn't believe it and I was pissed. Great first day. Mrs Mollins continued: "So, question number 2: How was your life like so far? Would you like to tell us a bit?" I stared down at the floor my arms crossed in front of my chest. At this moment I decided to ignore the class in front of me. "No", I answered. "Why not? It would be great for us to get to know you a bit", she cheered. I couldn't believe how cheery she was. "If you read my file already I don't see the point for me to tell you again", I explained and was struggling not to stand up and run.

She turned to class:"What is the point in what we're here doing, class?" - "Honesty, Mrs Mollins", one of the blonde girls from before chirped. "Yes, honesty", Mrs Mollins repeated and gestured for me to start. I sighed and thought about the question. After a while I silently muttered: "I don't really know where to start." Helplessly I looked over at Mrs Mollins. "I admit it's not so easy to answer, especially with a past like yours", she blurted out. Well thanks for pointing that out, I thought. She continued: "Let's start with an easier question: Where would you like to be at this point of your life?" Thanks to Mrs Mollins images of my past came flooding back in my mind: The abuse, the self-harming, the runaways and lock ups; the hatred. "Under the ground", I mumbled staring at the floor. There were a few gasps and shocked faces but I didn't care, they wanted to get to know my life: there it was. "Did you ever try to commit suicide?", Mrs Mollins wanted to know. I nodded slowly and quietly began to talk down to the floor: "Uhhmm I know in my file it says like 3 or so times, bu-" - "5 times!", Mrs Mollins interrupted me. Well, that surprised me. Where did those extra two come from? I tried to think back and remember those until she tore me out: "I'm sorry I interrupted you!" I continued to say what I wanted to in the first place: "Actually it was just once, because the other ones were more like accidents to me. " With every word I became a bit quieter. Just before anyone could say anything else the bell rang. "Okay 10 minutes break, class. It's okay Anna, you can go to your seat!", Mrs Mollins yelled out.

I went back to my seat and checked my phone. Another text of "him": "Where are you, I cannot find you - F.R." I've received a tone of those since he first texted me two weeks ago. I never answer, so I switched off my phone and laid my head on the table in front of me. Suddenly I felt a hand rub my back. I jumped back heavily and my heart pounded in my chest. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you", Nicky said soothingly, "are you alright?" I shrugged my shoulders and didn't know what to say, but he seemed to understand anyway.

For the rest of the break I took out my sketchbook and a random pen, and began to draw. I felt like leaning onto Nicky's shoulder but I didn't want him to feel awkward. The whispering began again and soon some tall muscular guy came towards our table and stood still in front of me. "Hey, my name's Jared", he stated somewhat trying to be casually sexy. I looked up to him and covered the drawing with my hand. "Listen", he continued, "I wanted to ask you if you maybe wanted to go out on a date with me on Friday." I stared at him unbelievingly. "No", I said and shook my head. "I won't give up on you until you say yes. So, think about it", he replied, grinned like a fool and went back to his friends. What the fuck was that, was all I could think. I sighed at the thought that Jared would develop itself as a new and another problem of mine and this time I couldn't help but to put my head on Nicky's shoulder. Shocked I moved my head back up when I realized what I was doing. Scared I looked up to him. "It's fine, you can lean onto me", he replied reassuringly and took my head in his hands and placed it back on his shoulder. I moved my chair closer to him so I was leaning onto him comfortably and we both chuckled. Then the bell rang again and the second lesson began.

Those last lessons weren't very eventful. Mrs Mollins was talking about something that I didn't really pay attention to it, so they were actually over very soon. Nicky and I walked out together again and when we both arrived outside on the parking lot he said "Bye, see you tomorrow." and walked off in a different direction. I waved him back and walked to Ryan's car which he was leaning onto on the outside. Before I could reach him Jared came out of nowhere and tugged my arm. "Remember what I told you: I'm not giving up on you so easily. So date on Friday? Think about it. See ya tomorrow!" What the hell? I went over to Ryan who looked like he was asking himself the same but he didn't say anything. He hugged me, what made me flinch involuntarily in his arms. I then relaxed in his arms and as he started to pull away I hold him still, mumbling "not yet" in his chest. He smiled and hugged me some more. After that he took my backpack and put it in the back seat. "Jesus Christ!", he exclaimed while doing so, "That thing is really heavy. Do they expect you to become smart all in one day?" I giggled and slid into the passenger seat.

"So, what was that about?", Ryan asked me on our drive back home. I knew he meant that incident with Jared. I shrugged and decided to tell him the truth: that he wanted to date me but I said no and that he didn't let go of me that easily. "Okay", Ryan replied to all of that.
When I was in my bed tonight I got another text message. What it read, shocked and scared me. It said: "I know where you live - F.R." I pulled the blanket up over my eyes and quietly sobbed until I fell asleep.