Welcome to Anna's World

Anna's PoV:
I couldn't believe my timetable the next morning. I had another double lesson of psychology right at the beginning of the day. I met Nicky right in front of the school. "I thought I'd wait here for you", he cheered and greeted me with a grin. I thanked him and we made our way to class. How many of those lessons do we have per week?", I asked him. Nicky laughed but replied understandingly: "Just these two and then we're through with them for a week. By the way, I like your shirt even though it’s not the same like I’m wearing!” I laughed and we entered the classroom. “What’s so funny? I would love to laugh with you guys!”, that blonde girl from yesterday screeched with her sarcastic voice. I still giggled while Nicky rolled his eyes.

“Good morning, class! Today you are going to do some work with your partner!”, Mrs Mollins yelled at us as usual. I glanced over at Nicky and hoped he would work with me. I smiled when I noticed that he already grinned widely at me and nodded. Mrs Mollins handed out a sheet and instructed us to work through the questions in our teams. The wild chatter began.

Nicky’s PoV:
I was glad that she wanted to work with me. I gave her a smile but I couldn’t help but notice how red and puffy her eyes looked. They weren’t this red yesterday. I hope she didn’t cry because of what happened in school yesterday or worse because of me. I mean, I only met her yesterday but I have never talked that much to any other person in this building and I feel like we could become great friends. Maybe even something more than that someday. I began to realize that I was a bit lost in my mind when she said my name repeatedly. I looked at her and mumbled: “Sorry, I was lost in my mind. What did you say?”

She laughed and replied that she didn’t say anything apart from my name and what exactly we had to do. I took the sheet from my desk and held it up to read it. There were about 10 questions on it. “We have to answer the questions”, I explained yawning, I didn’t have a smooth night either. She nodded. “Do you want to go first?”, she was wondering. I didn’t want to go first; I wanted to see the smile appear on her face when she read the first pathetic question. She read it and I concentrated on her face waiting, but no smile appeared. Instead a frown crossed her face. It confused and maybe also a bit disappointed me. I read the question myself: “Can you imagine being adopted?”- “Uhmm... I can’t really answer that question”, she stated looking down at her hands. “Why?”, I asked trying the hardest to make her feel comfortable. She waited a bit then slowly and so quietly said that only I could hear it: “Because, uhhhm... I- I-I am a-adopted.” Her face turned bright red and she desperately tried to cover it with her flaming red hair. “Oh, okay”, I replied assuring it was alright and I still wanted to hang with her. “So you know it. Did your parents tell you?”, I questioned hoping I didn’t hurt her feelings by my curiousness. She looked at me with a bit of confusion in her face and explained me with more security in her voice than before: “No, I j-just got adopted. Like two weeks ago. I lived in an orphanage before.” – “Oh, okay”, I repeated myself involuntarily but a slight tone higher. I felt embarrassed that I didn’t know what else to say. It was silent for a moment, but surprisingly it wasn’t an awkward or even disturbing silence. I guess we both didn’t know what to say at that point. Mrs Mollins probably noticed us just sitting around and not talking to each other and shortly after she stood in front of our desk. “Well Nicholas, you just answer the question like it is on the sheet and Anna, why don’t you tell him what it is like to be adopted”, she stated without yelling or screaming (wow!) and walked off again. We both sighed at the same time which brought a smile back on her lips, which made me smile too. “S-so d-do y-you like them?”, I stuttered and my face got red all over again. “I don’t really know yet, it’s a bit too early”, she slowly stated. I nodded trying desperately to make her feel okay. "I'm sorry", she mumbled after a while of silence. She caught me off guard with that. "Why, what are you sorry for?", I hurriedly asked. "For making you feel uncomfortable", she explained as silent as I before. I couldn't help but smile a bit and think how adorable and cute she was. Softly and carefully, so I didn't startle her, I put my hands on the sides of her head and put it on my shoulder like I did yesterday. And also like yesterday she giggled and shuffled her chair closer to mine. Without even saying a word we both knew what we had to say. The silent was enjoyable and very relaxing. We stayed like that until the bell rang, signalling us a break.

Anna's PoV:
I stayed cuddled up on to Nicky when the break began. Even though we didn't say anything I really enjoyed being in his presence. I felt like I've known him forever. It felt so relaxing not to have to talk to someone to be understood.
Our little moment got interrupted by Jared who stumbled forward to our desk. "Have you thought about my offer?", he asked me again with a very slimy tone in his voice. "I still don't go on a date with you", I simply stated and put my head off of Nicky's shoulder. "Why not? Tell me one good reason why you don't go on a date with me Friday night. Remember I don't give up that easily", he smirked. I sighed and thought about telling him the truth, that I'm scared of getting my rape history more full than it already was, or not. Then I heard Nicky start to talk:" Be- because y- you wanted t-t-to.." He looked at me for help to complete his sentence so I started: "Yeah, I wanted t-to... come over to your place?" I looked at Nicky like I was asking him if it was okay and he continued: "Yeah... watch some movies, listen to music?" He also turned to me with a question so I nodded at him, we both smiled and looked back at Jared. He looked at us confused and turned half around, so I thought he would go away. But then I felt his hand on my arm surprisingly. I jumped and snatched my arm away from under his grip. My heart was pounding in my chest and a scared look covered my face. "Don't touch me", I growled trying to control my voice but it came out poorly and weak. "Wow, what the fuck?!", he laughed loudly and this time turned to go over to his friends. With neither of us saying something I cuddled up to Nicky again but a bit closer than I was before. He let me and soothingly put his arm around my waist.

The next lesson started. Even though Nicky told me I didn't have to talk about all this being - adopted stuff, I felt like it was a pretty good idea to do so for once in my life. So there we went.
"So, you're adopted by a gay couple. Well, I could imagine that this would be pretty interesting. Like to have two dads instead of one and a mum", Nicky said. I shrugged my shoulders and mumbled a "yeah, I guess" back. "I'm a bit scared, to be honest", I said after a while. He looked at me with a questioning look and wanted to know why. Again I shrugged and slowly answered: "Because dads are almost always more violent than mums, and I'm scared that they lose it in front of me." He saw the sadness cross my face and asked a question which led to another direction obviously to distract me: "How do you call them? Dad?" - "By their names. I usually don't call my new parents dad or mum that quickly. It gets weird to just call foreign people dad or so, just because they signed some papers." He frowned at what I just said and after some silence he spoke up again, choosing his words carefully: "You mean... those aren't your ... first parents that...adopted you?" I shook my head no. "Oh", he said sadly looking over at me after he again saw the sadness on my face. "So, what are their names?", he was wondering again to distract me. "Ryan and John", I said and was confused when I saw a grin on his face, "what?" - "Nothing. It's just that my favourite drummer is called Ryan and he's married to a guy called John", he explained. Favourite drummer? Ryan plays drums too. Could it be? Carefully I asked: "Ryan Rocket?" - "Yeah", he replied. "Oh. I think I had been adopted by your favourite drummer then", I laughed but it took a second for Nicky to register what I have just said. "Oh my God, you're adopted by Ryan and John Rocket?!!", he exclaimed with a slightly high pitched voice. I could tell he was fan-girling now. I nodded and probably saw the brightest and biggest smile on him since we met.

"Uhhh! Put those smiles down, they are gross!", the blonde girl whose name I forgot or still don't know exclaimed. She didn't bother us though.

In lunch Nicky showed me some music videos of Ryan and John and some interviews with both of them. It brought a smile to face seeing how much they love each other and how much others love them. I stood up to go to the toilet and immediately Jared came to me. I walked away to the toilets but he followed me. "Hey sorry about before, I didn't know that people aren't allowed to touch you", he grinned. I mumbled an "it's okay", not smiling at all and eyes focused on the floor. Suddenly he grabbed my arm and spun me around. My heart was pounding and the fear built up in my stomach. "Listen. I don't want you to hang around with Nicky, he's weird and not good for you", he stated. I ripped my arm out of his grip and almost ran into the toilet cabin. In there I firstly had to breath in and out to control my fears. After I was done I went straight back to Nicky and sighed when I saw who was standing there with him: Jared. I walked up to them and sat next to Nicky.

Jared left us after he nodded at Nicky and I nuzzled my head on his shoulder sighing. He laughed: "You're hair is tickling me. "- "Sorry", I mumbled and moved away. "No, come back", he whined soon after. I laughed and moved back.

"You know, you really have to hang with me on Friday now", he suddenly said. I looked at him confused: "Why? I mean, not that I don't want to." He smiled and explained: "Jared will come by my house to see if we really hang out together. And uhmm, if-f w-we don't...., h-he'll beat the shit out o-of me." He said that last part so quietly so only I could hear it and looked at his knees ashamed. I hesitated but put my arm around his shoulders and said that it was okay.

"So should I come by your house? Since I don't really think you would want to meet my parents yet", I asked and was glad when I saw his face lit up. "Yeah, that would be great. I can show you my drum set!", he exclaimed happily.

After school we walked out to the parking lot together. Before I could go over to Ryan's car though Nicky tugged on my arm. I could see his face turning bright red when he saw Ryan leaning against his car. It made me chuckle a bit. "Ask him now if it's okay with him, when you come to my house on Friday night", he said. "Why now? It's only Tuesday", I was wondering. Nicky gave me a duhh- face and continued: "Because parents like to be informed and asked as early as possible." I nodded and muttered an "okay" and wanted to add a "bye" but Nicky held on to me, his face changed to a darker red when he noticed that Ryan was looking straight over to us. Again it made me chuckle quite a bit. "And ask him for an autograph for me", Nicky whined in a whispery tone. That made me chuckle harder and I replied in between my laughs: "No way! You can do that yourself. I have to go now." Still smiling I turned around and walked to Ryan. He hugged me saying: "Had a good day?" I nodded.

"What? Why aren't we going home?", I asked Ryan as he parked outside of the mall. He laughed and said: "We're going to the mall, that's what you do after school." - "What about my homework?", I asked him almost out of breath since he walked that fast. "Do you have any?", he questioned back. "A bit", I mumbled. "Good, we won't have long anyway. We just need something for dinner. What do you want to eat?", he said. I shrugged my shoulders motioning him to cook whatever he wants.

When we were in the aisle for cleaning material (typical for adults: they say they need something for dinner and then they end up buying lots of other stuff too, like cleaning material) Ryan looked down to me smiling: "So who was that blushing boy next to you on the parking lot?" I chuckled slightly and answered: "No one." - "Yeah, right", Ryan replied sarcastically but dropped the subject. We went to the next aisle where the stuffed animals were. I looked at some of them and picked up one in particular: Jack's head of "Nightmare before Christmas". I looked at it smiling since it was very soft and since I loved that movie. Some hands from next to me picked it up from me and I frowned at the person. He put Jack's head into the shopping cart. "Dad, you can't just buy me everything I look at!", I exclaimed noticing too late that I have called him "Dad". Ryan noticed too and stopped in his actions. There was a weird silence and I already wanted to apologize when he asked:"Why not?" I smiled knowing he won't bring it up again and that he was okay with me calling him "Dad". Maybe he was even happy with it. "Because you're spoiling me", I said in between laughs. He laughed too and replied. "What if I wanted to spoil you?"

I helped Ryan to pack the stuff we bought into the house and after that went upstairs for my homework. We didn't have a lot and when I was half way through I went back downstairs to ask Dad about Friday night. I found him sitting in the living room with uncle Mickey (if I started to call Ryan "Dad", I could as well call his band mates "uncle"), the singer of his band. He smiled at me and I smiled back unsure. "Uhhmmm, Daaad?", I started making the "a" longer than I intended. He turned around slowly raising his eyebrows. "Uh-oh she wants something from you", uncle Mickey stated warningly but with a smile. "Come here", Dad motioned me to sit on his lap, which I did and he smiled reassuringly, "what's up?" - "Uhhhm, well, uhh, you know that guy I was talking to after school?" -"That one with the Slayer shirt who was blushing madly?", he interrupted me. I smiled at that and nodded and he continued: "Well, I don't know him personally." - "That's not what I wanted to say", I mumbled a bit confused. He nudged me to tell me to go on. I tried to continue with absolute no idea how: "Uhh, he uhhh invited me uhhhh, overtohishousefridaynightcanigo?" That probably came out a bit too fast because Dad looked at me confused. I sighed loudly and repeated myself slower now: "Can I go over to his house Friday night? For uhhh... watching movies?" Dad sighed and had a thinking expression on his face. Then he asked: "He's a guy, right?" I nodded confused at this question since he has seen him today already. "Then no", Dad said. I needed a minute to understand what he was saying. "Why?", I finally questioned. "Because he's a boy and I don't want you to hang out with boys on your own on Friday nights", he explained with a certain reasonable tone I didn't understand. A little too harsh I snapped at him: "So if he was a girl, could I go then?! That's a little sexist..." - "I'm just concerned for your safety, you're still just fifteen!", he snapped back. I stood up from his lap and went to my room.

Ryan's PoV:
I made her upset. I shouldn't have snapped back like that. Mickey probably saw the sadness written on my face because he moved over to my couch sitting near me and calmed me down: "Hey, it's alright. Fathers and daughters sometimes snap at each other, that's totally fine." I nodded at him and asked him what I should do since he's a father of three kids already. He sighed and made a bigger space in between us like he's scared of my reaction. "You should let her go on Friday night", he stated. "What?!", I exclaimed. He quickly continued before I could say anything else: "You can't have her locked up in this house forever!" I followed his eyes which moved to the corner of the door frame where she was standing. I rolled my eyes at Mickey knowing he was right. "Alright, I'll think about it with John, okay!", I told him loud enough so she could hear me too. "Alright I have to go then", Mickey said then stood up and went to the door. He kissed Anna's top of her head and stroke her hair. I could hear her thanking him quietly and he nodded at her.

She helped me cook dinner and we ate without waiting on John since he had to work late that night. He still came home at a reasonable time though and when Anna was still awake.

"I'm home!", he shouted while coming through the door. I went over to him and kissed him passionately. "What's wrong, you're kissing me like you haven't seen me for ages!", he giggled. God, after all these years I still felt my stomach flip when I hear my lover's giggle. After his shoes and jacket were off I took him in my arms and told him that he's beautiful to make him giggle again. He did so and reminded me that I already complimented his looks this morning. "Where's Anna? I've got something for her", he trailed off when I released my arms around him. "In her room, what do you have?", I said. "This was in the mailbox", he replied showing me a box with her name and our address on it. He went to the stairs but before he could go up them I told him that we had to discuss something afterwards. He looked back at me worried but I reassured him it wasn't something bad.

John's PoV:
I got to Anna's room, knocked slightly and entered. "Hey", I greeted her smoothly, "this is for you. It was in our mailbox. " She frowned at the hand- written box, put it away and said "thank you". I gave her a smile and turned around to leave but she held me back with one word:"Papa? Why is Dad concerned for my safety?" I turned around sitting next to her on the bed. "Honey, we all are. Why shouldn't he be?" She just shrugged her shoulders and her eyes landed on the box again. "So "Papa"?", I asked her. She looked at me: "Yeah, since I'm calling Ryan "Dad", I thought I could call you "Papa". To avoid confusion. If that's alright." - "Makes sense", I nodded at her reassuringly and left her by herself.

Downstairs I found Ryan dozing to the TV. I sat down in his lap and kissed his nose. He immediately opened his eyes and I cuddled up next to him. "She calls me "Papa", to avoid the confusion since she already calls you "Dad"", I quietly said, having my head on his chest. He chuckled slightly: "Mmhmm, I know."

Anna's PoV:
I stared at the box John, well Papa, gave to me. It had his hand-writing on it. I definitely didn't want to open it in front of Papa but maybe I should do it now. Perhaps he wanted to sent this to me when he still was alive. So the people of the orphanage found it and sent it to me now. It was a possible solution but it didn't explain why the address was also written in his hand- writing. I mean, when he still was alive he couldn't have known where I live now. I shoved all the thoughts aside and opened the box. In it was a CD and a ripped out newspaper's page. I looked at the CD. On it was my nickname; the one he always used: Lili - Rose. I curiously put it in my radio and plugged my headphones in. I was listening to my song he wrote for me. He was singing and played the piano and some guitars over it. I didn't know what to do or even think. I always loved this song. I listened to it over and over again and eventually picked up the newspaper's page. The headlines were: "Parents Faked Death of Adopted Boy - Frank Richards was found alive locked up in the basement of his adoptive parents." I couldn't stop my tears now from falling. He was alive. My dead best friend wasn't dead, he was alive. He was alive. And all this time he was looking for me.