A Fool's Dance

The season was getting close to ending and the boys were in a good position to make it to the playoffs. After struggling a bit, we were finding our game.

"Seguin, can I talk to you for a minute?" Coach asked, as we were getting ready for practice.

"Sure coach," I followed him into a side room used for his office. "What's going on?"

"Segs," he sighed, "What's going on kid? You're game has been pretty inconsistent and it's beginning to worry me and your teammates."

I shrugged, "I really don't know. I'm having some problems with Avery but usually that makes my game better."

"You're game isn't bad. I just need you to start scoring again, setting up goals and making the passes you are known for. You were fantastic in Switzerland. I need you to do that here."

I nodded in agreement. Everything he was saying was true. He dismissed me as the rest of the guys hit the ice.

I threw my gloves in the back of my stall, a little to hard but I was frustrated with everything. I was playing like shit, Avery was pissed at me, and our relationship was going down hill.

"What's wrong?" Gregory asked, noticing the anger I took our on my gloves.

"Nothing Soup, just stressed."

"We can tell," I didn't know if that was a jab at my playing or if they really had noticed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Soupy shrugged and dropped the subject. I sat in my stall with my head in my hands.

I leaned against my stall, almost all of equipment on as I watched the guys leave. I wanted to punch something, I wanted to get hammered. I pulled my jersey back over my head, put my gloves on and grabbed my stick.

"I'll clean up when I'm done," I told the equipment guys and the employees. They nodded at me before disappearing, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the ice.

I began whacking the pucks in the net, some going high and hitting the glass. With each puck that missed my shot got harder and harder. I wanted them all to slam into the back of the net.

I wanted each puck that went into the back of the net to be my problems. I wish I could smack them with my hockey stick and they would go away.

But I made mistakes and I keep making them. I was frustrating myself and the person who loved me no matter what.

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming the bench door behind me. I threw my stick and let my head rest on in my hands.

After half and hour of sitting and thinking I cleaned up after myself and got ready to go home. Facing her got harder everyday.

"Avery," I sighed when I opened the door and saw her sleeping on the couch. It was late afternoon and she had bottles all around her.

"She's been like that all day," Freddy shrugged, helping me pick up the empty bottles.

"These can't all be from today."

Freddy shook his head no but we both knew that at least half of them were. "She's been laying in that exact spot since last night. She only got up to go to the bathroom and take a shower."

"So she's been pretty much sleeping all day?" I asked.

He nodded, "And watching movies."

I sighed again as I watched her turn away from us. "Want to get something to eat?"

"Should we leave her?" Freddy asked, looking a little concerned.

I shrugged, "She should be fine. We won't be gone long."

I followed Fred out, taking one last look at Avery before closing the door behind me. I did that to her.

We went to the bar and grill just down the street, taking a seat at the bar and ordering a beer. Freddy didn't say anything at first, I knew he was a little mad at me but he never not talked to me.

"Avery deserves better," Freddy blurted out, "You know that. I know that and your teammates know that."

I was a little taken aback but nodded. "I know, but I really do love her and she loves me."

"If you loved her then you wouldn't do what you do."

His words hurt but only because they were true. I was not being a good boyfriend, I was arguing with her, partying and acting like a single guy.

"Freddy," I hesitated, "never mind."

His eyebrow rose in interest as I turned back to my food. I didn't know how to tell him I may or may not have almost slept with another girl.

"Come on Segs," he nudged me. "I'm best bro you can tell me."

I shook my head, "It's only going to make me look worse."

Fred chuckled, "What did you bang some girl?" When I didn't say anything he knew that's what I was trying to say. "Segs no, no you didn't."

I shrugged, "I didn't but almost."

"Dude," Fred groaned. "How could you? Avery's already been through enough shit and now this."

"This happened a couple weeks ago."

Fred's eyes got bigger than his head, "Are you kidding? Tyler why? Avery has been putting up with your shit for 3 months. She has been by your side for 3 months. She has been defending you for 3 months."

I could tell Freddy was heated, he could barely look at me, so asking him to do this was going to be hard. "Please don't tell her."

"Oh I'm not going to. You are."

I nodded in understatement, "I know and I will. Eventually."

Freddy left a tip on the counter and walked out. I didn't think he would get that mad and I didn't think he would get up and leave.

I knew I couldn't tell him I've kissed several girls since then and I wasn't going to tell Avery that either.

I ordered another beer, chugging it down faster than normal and made the lonely walk back to my apartment.

If Freddy was that mad at me I could just tell him to live somewhere else, find another roommate. And if
I tell Avery about it then she will probably break up with me which might not be a horrible thing.

Maybe my game would improve since I wouldn't feel as guilty and wouldn't be as stressed.

I shook the thought from my head. No. Avery can't know, she would be so upset and I really don't want her to break up with me. The only thing that would come out of her breaking up with me would me being able to do whatever I wanted.

But we would both be heartbroken and I couldn't do that to her.

When I got back to the apartment, Avery was still asleep on the couch and Freddy was sitting in the chair, watching TV. He didn't say a single word to me, didn't even look at me.

I was slowly losing my girlfriend and my best friend all at the same time.