Status: being re-worked

Dear Daisy

growing up and growing old

Time flies by so quickly, I can hardly keep up. I've been away for 4 years and coming back here feels like reading the life of a child. In what felt like the blink of an eye, I'm 23 and everyone says I've grown up. Is it growing up in the world and myself or just growing old? I've spent so many nights and sung too many lines asking myself which one I am, and I'm still not sure.

Coming back to this page, spilling out how I feel... it's as if I've learned too much and nothing at all. One foot feels stuck in the past lately, reliving my mistakes and failures, wondering if I've changed enough to not doomed to repeat them. Growing up is letting of lingering fears and long-gone ghosts, but aren't I holding on somehow?

Weeks and months pass in a blur, with the day to day routine and work. Everyone tells me it could be worse and how this is normal and part of being an adult. My mind traps me inside for days at a time so I can't actually tell. I'm here and going through the motions, but I feel so paralyzed by the expectations of what would be my life as a grown up.

I've grown older, watching other people my age chase their dreams and start families. Leading lives I may never come to know, because growing up isn't growing old. And I'm not sure anymore if I've done either one.
♠ ♠ ♠
hi mibba! fancy meeting you here five years later. my mind has been very full lately and this seemed like a healthy creative outlet that my irls wouldn’t be as privy to, so here’s the Dear Daisy reboot no one asked for!!