Let The Walls Break Down

I glanced over at Jack, who was preoccupied with his wine at the moment. The sun was just about to dip below the horizon, plunging us into a velvet aubergine night.

It had felt right when I told Jack that I loved him. I hadn’t planned to say it, but you can’t really plan on loving someone, now can you ? You can’t plan when you’re going to say the three magic words, because you aren’t sure whether you’ll love them at that time. However, once you realize that you do in fact love them, you will love them the next day, the next week, the next year….from that moment on. Because love never really goes away. Now, there’s always the question of whether they mean it when they love you back, so some people refrain from every saying it at all. But if I didn’t say it, then I’d still have felt it….and where’s the sense in that ?

As I watched Jack, I couldn’t help but keep the concept of love in my mind. Love isn’t necessarily as romantic & delicate as it seems….love is insanity. It’s a type of gradual fall that you don’t notice at first, until it’s 2AM & you’re still up thinking about them, wondering whether it’s you that they’re seeing in their dreams. Love is when seeing them with anyone else makes you a little crazy, no matter how platonic the relationship. Now loving Jack, that’s a different story. He’s like coming up for fresh air, it’s like I was drowning & he saved me. That’s all I know.

A few more minutes passed, & I was still thinking these odd philosophical thoughts about the concept of love. Jack was wandering around the field aimlessly for no reason, probably a product of all the wine he had consumed. I stood up & followed him, catching him as he stumbled. “Jacky, I think it’s time you sit down.” His big brown eyes peered into mine, “Why ?” I dragged him over to the blanket, “Because I said so.” He lay back on the blanket, intertwining our fingers. He pulled me down with him, sneaking in a kiss on my cheek before staring up at the indigo sky. Stars were beginning to peek out, something you don’t see often in the city lights, even in our small town. Jack moved so that his head was on my chest, but he never took his eyes off the stars. They seemed to fascinate him, but I wasn’t sure if that was because of the alcohol or if I had just discovered something else about Jack. I on the other hand, was riveted by watching Jack’s eyes light up as he gazed skyward.

“Hey Jack ?” He looked at me questioningly. “You never really told me why you stopped talking…” Jack sighed & sat up. I cringed, “I’m sorry Jacky, you don’t have to tell me, it’s just been in the back of my mind for a while.” “No, no it’s okay. Well, I uh, it just seemed to me like the human race never understood me even when I did talk, so what was the point ? No one really GOT me, you know ? That probably sounds stupid when I say it out loud…Like I just knew what I was destined for & trying to fit in wasn’t it, so something in me said ‘What’s the use ?’ so I just stopped talking. Until I met you, I hadn’t even wanted to talk.” That actually made a lot of sense, it was reasoning so JACK that it made me love him even more. I pulled him into me in a hug, and he cuddled into my side immediately. Something crinkled in my pocket & I stiffened. Jack reached into my pocket & grabbed it out, holding it up so he could see it. “A condom ?” He asked me. I gulped & nodded, afraid I’d scared him away. “Do you….want to ?” He questioned awkwardly. I looked him in the eye & nodded tentatively. I almost didn’t hear his whisper of

“Me too.”