Let The Walls Break Down

After about ten minutes of wandering downstream, I turned around and headed back. I couldn’t understand why Jack was so shy around me, so…nervous. It made me kind of sad, I wanted him to trust me. I mean, we were friends, so why shouldn’t he ? I would never hurt him.

When I arrived back at the spot I entered the water at, Jack was nowhere to be found. I double checked my surroundings, and yes, this was the spot, so where was Jack ? Had he really gotten mad and went back to the car ? A feeling in my gut told me that no, Jack wouldn’t do that to me. So that left the question of his whereabouts…

I climbed out and hurried shoved my shoes back on, calling out in vain for Jack. I received no answer, I don’t know what I expected. Perhaps he had just gotten bored and gone for a walk. I jogged in the direction that we came, still calling for him. Maybe he would hear me and return to my side. By the time I had gotten halfway back to the car, there was still no sign of Jack and I was becoming increasingly worried. If this was a joke, it wasn’t funny anymore. I began panicking “Jack ? Jaaaack ?!” I hurried in the other direction, further into the woods. Ten minutes into that journey, I saw a familiar patch of blonde and brown hair sticking out among the brush. “Jack !” This time I wasn’t calling his name in a search effort, but rather acknowledging that he’d been found. His head whipped up, and his hand shot up, as if I didn’t see him already. I lunged forward, “Hey are you okay ?!” He was grabbing his ankle and grimacing, and a shot of fear filled my stomach. I crouched down and moved his hand aside, examining the ankle. It was swelled slightly and starting to bruise. “What happened ?” I asked as I carefully moved it to make sure nothing was broken. He winced again, and I apologized. “Jack, I respect your choice to not talk, but if you’re hurt you need to speak up,” I scolded him. He nodded, silent as ever. What kind of stubborn kid wouldn’t speak even when he was hurt and lost ?

I helped Jack to his feet, looping my arm around his waist and his around my shoulder to support him. After a few minutes of painful hobbling, I moved his arm off of me and scooped him into my arms, bridal style. Even with his shock, Jack made no sound. What did I have to do to make him speak to me ? I couldn’t explain why I wanted to hear his voice so badly, but I knew that I did. He was surprisingly light, and I carried him all the way back to the car, even up the mountainside. “Jackalope, it’s easier and faster for me to carry you than to have you walk slowly in pain.” He nodded, still looking slightly alarmed. I tightened my grip around the skinny boy, trying not to blush. It was evident that Jack’s presence did weird things to me, but why ?

We got back to the car and I set him down and helped him in. I climbed into the driver’s side, hands on the wheel, leaning back into the seat. “So are we going to the hospital or what ?” He shook his head violently, but I didn’t question his obvious protest. I stared at him for a moment longer, and he locked eyes with me, raising his fist and moving it in a circular motion over his chest, ASL for “
I’m sorry.” I handed him a cigarette as a peace offering, and pulled back onto the road.

We drove in complete silence this time, without the radio even. Jack stared out the window, puffing on his cigarette. I tried not to watch the way his lips formed and ‘O’ around the stick and puffed out the smoke. I smiled to myself, returning my eyes to the road ahead. When we got back into town, I started driving to my place without a thought. Jack held up his board “Where are we going ?” “My place…is that okay ?” “Yeah, sure.” I pulled into the driveway of my gray, one story house. My parents were almost never home; they were too busy for me. It was fine by me, I get to do what I want when I want. I have friends, it’s not like I’m totally alone all the time. And now I have Jack.
I tucked Jack’s board under my one arm and him under the other, leading him to my front door. I unlocked it and quickly led him inside. I pulled him to the bathroom and instructed him to sit on the counter, which he did. I grabbed first aid supplies and ice and wrapped up his ankle. He thanked me using sign language ( I really only know ASL for fish, sorry, please, and obviously fuck you). “You’ll have to teach me sign language sometime, Jack.” He made his hands into the ‘okay’ sign and I giggled, “Smartass.”

We ended up plopped on my living room floor with a bowl of popcorn between us, playing video games. I had never seen a guy play CoD silently until Jack, and to be honest, it was a little strange. My phone rang and I put down my controller to answer it. “Hello ? Oh hey Rian, what’s up ? There’s a party ? When ? Yeah, I’ll be there. Can I bring a friend ? He’s new. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Bye.” I looked over at Jack, who was staring at me. “That was my friend Rian, he invited me to a party Friday night, wanna come ?” Jack nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his face. Jack checked his phone too, then let it fall to the floor beside him. I noticed the background picture was of him and a pretty girl. A pang of jealousy hit me, even though I knew Jack was straight. “Is that your girlfriend ?” I asked casually. He showed his board to me “Sister.” He erased that and wrote “Do you have a girlfriend ?...Or boyfriend…?” It made me happy that Jack had included the boyfriend part, it showed he wasn’t a closed-minded prick. “I don’t have either. In case you’re wondering if I’m straight or whatever, I don’t believe in labels. Whoever I like, I like.” Jack swallowed, then wrote something else on the board with shaky hands. He stared at it, as if debating whether to show me. I waited patiently, trying to keep my cool when he showed it to me. “I think I’m bisexual.” That one sentence from him gave me so much hope…I smiled a genuine grin, “Anyone would be lucky to have you, Jack.”

I wish I could be so lucky.