Walk With Me

I sighed. Then, i continued to walk towards the librarian to return the book that i borrowed.
There were tables and although the students were whispering,
I can still hear their conversations, about the news, about the new girl on their class,
the hot guy who's new to school and is a first year Biology student,
their professor in Physics, and the result of their quiz in Literature.

On the other side of the library, is a group of students seating on
the sala's, they were laughing and giggling because they are watching
the series of "New Girl" when one of the librarians asked them to leave the premises for it
is prohibited to watch videos in the library.

As i pass through those tables, i see different kinds of people,
some wear glasses while playing with their ipads,
some wearing glasses while reading,
and i really can't identify
who has the real purpose of studying in the library.

My steps became smaller as I get close to the table
where the librarian is seated.
"What's your surname ?"

"Gonzales ma'am"

"Here's your library card"

I quickly get my library card
and get out of the library as silent as i could.

I removed one strap of my backpack off the side of my shoulder
and opened it, to put in my library card while walking.

Chattering, laughing, and whispers, which i think are not, because i still can hear them clearly
even if they are trying to lower their voice in a way that
it almost sounded like they are just exhaling a big amount of air.

As i rush to the door out of the library,
I hear people saying,

"Look at her hair, has she comb it yet?"

"Look at how she walks, it's so amusing!"

"Isn't she the one who joined the singing contest last year?"
"Yeah, she actually didn't won the contest"

"She is the scholar that they've been talking about right?"

"Wow, she's beautiful even without make-up"

"Her classmate told me that she was weird HAHAHA..."

"They told me she's out of her mind, is that true?"

This things, i hear all the time, and i wake up everyday
knowing that people around me will always have thoughts about me,
judgement,comments, and criticisms,
sometimes i just try to ignore them,
but most of the time
i feel like i am dying little by little
because of the words that stings to
me like hundred nails being
hammered to my heart,
and lately,
to my soul...

I continued to walk as if i heard nothing, as if, i didn't here them say my name.
I felt free and the heavy weight that im carrying on my shoulders
suddenly vanished, i felt calm again, and "free".

I walked down stairs in a hurry, I always feel like i should run
when i really shouldn't be. Sometimes I feel like all eyes are on me,
like all of them are talking about me, who can blame me?

I started to read at the age of three. My mother bought me a set of paint kits when i was 7 years old
she believed that, i have a potential to be a good painter. When I was 2, I started holding the microphone
a normal 2 year old kid wont do. I sing beautifully, at 5 years old I'm able to control the neighborhood
by turning the volume up of our karaoke, the people would gather around our house just to be able to listen
to me sing. I remember at some point when i sang, one of our neighbors can't see me
and so, he tried to push the other , and that started a comossion, and i was really shocked, lonely, and happy
at the same time, knowing that, I was the reason of them, fighting. Then, i turned 8, that was the time
when "harlem dancing" was trending. It was kind of a hip-hop dance wherein dancers
would move their fit along with the beat of the music. I was the best dancer, singer, and student during my elementary
school years. I was tutored to play piano when i was 5 but forgot it, because we lost our keyboard.
Because of my love for music, I , again looked for someone who can teach me how to play piano
and so, I was able to regain my little knowledge on playing. It did not stop there, today, I am learning new instruments
per year.

Those are my talents and abilities, I really do not know
why, but, people love me and hate me at the same time.