Letters To Noah

We weren’t the most perfect couple, or the ones that never fought and were always happy. We had our days, our fights, our disagreements, but out of those days we always loved each other, we never stopped loving each other, I’m sure we both questioned our relationship at one time or another, but we never questioned the fact that we loved the other. I sometimes wondered how he could love me so unconditionally and forgive everything I did. As for him, from what I could tell he very rarely questioned anything, just enjoyed being with me, and knowing that I was without a doubt, his. He never failed to: tell me how beautiful I was, remind me how much he loved me, make me laugh until I couldn’t breathe, brighten my darkest days, let me know that it’s okay to express how you feel, make me feel his love. He always sang in the car with me, he smiled when I said something stupid; he listened to me when I endlessly babbled about nothing, and he listened when I asked questions that I very obviously knew the answer to already. He was just always there, when I needed him most, and when I simply just wanted him there. He never stopped being the one person that I never lost faith in, he was always everything I needed, and all that I wanted. When he decided that he was going to college, he made it very clear that he planned on coming back and getting me. He always talked about all of his big plans for the future: Our future. He made sure I had most everything that I wanted, that I knew how much he truly loved me. He told me endlessly of the plans he had to make me his wife and have 3 kids and have a wonderful life. He promised me a beautiful life with him. But most importantly through every situation and the hell we went through together, he never gave up on me, he stood by me through the worst of situations, he never left, he was always there.

“Thanks again.” He said. “Oh, you don’t have to thank me; I wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” I laughed. “Well, I always imagined this moment, but now that it’s here, I can’t lie, I’m nervous.” I laughed and took his hands in mine, “Noah, you may be nervous, but you’re not completely alone, I’m nervous about not having you 10 minutes away anymore, your more than 3 hours away now.” He half smiled, “I know but…” he paused searching for the right words. “You used to always say that you’d cry and not want to go back home, and now I’m the one not wanting you to leave, we dreaded saying goodbye all summer long and now it’d come time to let each other go, but just for a little while. I’ll call you every day, or as much as I can, I’ll text you too.” I smiled, and just as I had suspected a tear escaped my eye. I wiped it away and kissed me, “It will be okay, I’ll be thinking of you everyday, and counting down the days until I see you again.” I nodded and the tears started coming one after the other, he frowned and pulled me in, “It’s okay, I know this is hard, it’ll be okay, I promise. I love you so much and no matter what I’ll always love you. No matter what. Always.” I nodded my head in understanding, “I love you too, so much more than you know. I’ll be missing you everyday and wishing you were there with me.” He smiled down at me, standing at 6 feet and 3 inches, at least a good 10 inches taller than me, at 5 feet and 4 inches. He kissed my forehead, “I’m so proud of you baby, you’re a senior this year, and after this you’ll be graduating and going to college too. That’s the day you will have accomplished everything you’ve worked so hard for.” I smiled and buried my head in his chest, slowly taking his scent in one last time before I had to let go, and leave. I wouldn’t see him again for at least another week.

Every day that next week I had to fight the tears. I had to adjust to not seeing him every day; I was very down everyday until I saw him again. The only thing that got me through it, was being able to Face-Time with him, and having my turtle Pillow-pet, Tuck, right beside me every morning when I woke up, and every night when I went to sleep.

Friday morning before I left to go see him in San Antonio my mom handed me a white envelope and said, “You got a letter, honey.” I read the address confused, why would Noah send me a letter when he could’ve simply called, texted, or emailed me. Or just have waited to tell me when I got to his apartment. I worried at first, thinking, what if he has found someone else? What if he doesn’t want to be tied down anymore? A thousand ‘What if’s’ swam through my mind. I slowly opened it, worried about what I’d read.

I slowly pulled the letter from the envelope and read the words he had written.

Dear Hailee,
It’s only been a week that I’ve been away from you, and yet it feels like it’s been far too long. I miss you dearly and want you to know that I love you. I think about you every moment of every day. I cannot wait to see you Friday. I also want you to know that I am doing great adjusting to being alone, college life is great, and it could only be better if you were here. There is so much that I’d like to show you, and I have so many things I want to tell you, but all of sudden I can’t remember any of them. I really do love you so much. You can’t imagine how much I love you, I really want to come back and get you. One day we’ll have a beautiful life and be happy until the day we die. You truly are the best thing that has ever happened to me. No matter what may happen, I will always love you. No matter what. Always. Well I have to go, so I’ll talk to you later.

Love always Noah,

I smiled and slid the letter back into the envelope.