New Kid

Without Harry my apartment felt almost too quiet, too big.
I ended up continuing my work from home and fell asleep in my chair.

The next morning I stumbled out of my chair, my joints screaming at me from where they'd been in one position for so long.

Work became hectic as the dates for the summer collections loomed closer than ever before. It was so crazy, that me and the guys didn't get to hang out, just pass friendly exchanges whenever we saw each other, and I hardly ever saw Adam...although wether that was a good or bad thing, I couldn't say.

So, at 8 o'clock one night when I was frantically trying to organise pictures Caleb had taken along with writing I'd done to accompany them, starving hungry and tired, there was a knock at my door. Adam. Of course, at this time of night who else would it be?
"Hi." He said, he rubbed his eyes, which was rare for him. He never showed any sign of emotion, weakness or exhaustion. Although since we had that conversation where he tried to say that he cared for me, he's been a lot more open around me...although still almost robotic compared to most people.
"Hey. How are you?"
"Fine. You?"
"Tired." He smiled gently.
"Preaching to the choir." I laughed at his words - it was so unlike him to come out with a phrase like that.
"Let's finish for the day, we're the only ones left, wanna grab some dinner?" I smiled.
"Yeah, sure." We left the office together and I took him to a little Italian pizza place tucked away in an alley.
"How is it that I've lived in New York for almost ten years but I've never heard of this place, and you've been here for a few weeks and you know it?" I shrugged.
"I look for small places like this, I feel more comfortable. Besides, little places like here have nights where they let bands and musicians perform so I need to find out about it." Adam frowned questioningly.
"Why? Do you like and listening to music that hasn't hit mainstream or something?"
"Well yeah, but I sort of....umm...perform...myself." A smile crossed his face.
"You sing?"
"Yeah, and play guitar, it's just me, but I write songs so not performing them...it's difficult to explain but it kind of feels like...you're gonna explode with musical frustration unless you let other people hear them..?" I blushed when I looked at him and he had this uncharacteristically soft smile on his face.
"S-sorry I'm rambling..."
"Not at all. I didn't know you were so passionate about music. It's a good thing." I was still red and had a sip of my cold drink in an attempt to bring my temperature down.
"So you know that about me...what are you interested in?" Adam shifted in his seat and thought for a few minutes before shaking his head.
"What? Oh come on you've gotta be interested in something other than your job, I mean, you don't work 24/7...maybe 23/7 but come on." He chuckled.
"No. When I'm not at work I'm working from home, keeping up with contacts..." I gaped at him.
"So no hobbies?"
"I listen to music pretty much all the time, I love sailing and other watersports but I haven't been in years."
"Cool! My sister was always really into surfing and stuff, I wanted to get into it but I never did..I was too scared I guess."
"Of the sea?"
"No, more of making a fool of myself I think. You see she was friends with a lot of young, hot, male coaches who she'd go along with." Adam laughed, shaking his head.
"So you are...?" I felt myself reddening.
"Well....I guess so...I think women are beautiful but...I've never been like..crazy about a woman before." Adam leant back.
"Go on."
"Well you know that feeling you get when you're crazy about someone and you...you never stop thinking about them..and...when you're shopping you see something and it reminds you of them...or...when you finally get to be in the same room as them and you can't stop taking little glances at them." I realised I was babbling again and I met his eyes, he was just looking at me with...well that look, the one I could never figure out.
"Sorry."
"For..?"
"Rambling." He leant forwards, I didn't want to sit back from where I was leaning on the table, so I was frozen in place.
"You don't ramble...you speak. If I wanted you to shut up, I'd say." I felt my lips pulling up into a smile.
"Okay." I said quietly.
"So continue?"
"Okay, where was I? Umm...and when you're talking to them, you get really...butterflies? In-in your stomach and you blush and when they look at you...you feel almost like you're falling, and in a certain respect, I suppose you are falling because you're falling in love with them..and...I have never felt that, not even a little bit, for any woman, ever. And I've never felt anything...you know...sexual, for a woman either." Adam nodded.
"So what about you?" He exhaled through his nose, leaning forward again.
"Yeah, definitely." I breathed in deeply and pushed myself away from him.
"So, all these things you described...it sounds pretty intense. You've felt that before?"
"Yeah. Once. Have you?"
"Twice." I raised an eyebrow.
"It's so cliché. The first time was my best friend from university." I smiled and pulled my feet up onto my chair. It was dark outside now, the view from the small rooftop of the restaurant would have been beautiful. I knew as I spent many nights curled up here, the owner Lorenzo often left me the key so I could stay out a bit longer.
"Really? C'mon then tell me."
"Fine. His name's Dean. We met when we had our first class together. I was doing graphics, art & design and fashion design. He was doing graphics, art & design and photography. We only lived a few doors down in the dorm rooms. He asked me for a pen, introduced himself, we just got on really well. Neither of us had really thought about being gay or straight, we were 20 for god's sake we were horny for everything." I laughed and Lorenzo came up, apologising for interrupting us, gave me the key and told us to have a nice night.
"Well we just...we both found our best friend I guess. We'd never got on with anyone the way we got on with one another. One night we were in his room getting drunk on apple cider, we were talking about sex and girls and guys and we kissed, it turned into sex and we'd never felt that way with anyone before. We never questioned it, just kept at it like rabbits for the semester until our parents came to visit us." I nodded and poured us some more wine.
"I didn't understand it, but he was really upset - frantic almost. He begged me not to tell my parents or his. I of course agreed and told him not to panic. He seemed so relieved - I still didn't understand why. It turned out that he was terrified of what his parents would think. They were very posh, wealthy people, very old fashioned, my parents were loving, financially stable, and they doted on me and my sister. I wasn't at all scared to tell my parents. It had never been a problem for me, I mean, doing the courses that we were doing in school, there were a LOT of gay guys around so it was normal, and at college we could be normal and fuck and kiss whenever we wanted. So, Dean told his parents - he was beyond terrified - and they were fine with it. He was so surprised, but they'd always kind of wondered. So when I went to tell my parents - Dean with me - I didn't think it would be a problem at all. As it turns out, the reason I'd never found out my parents true opinion of gays, was that they didn't want to discuss the topic. All together. They were way beyond furious. They told me to get out of the house, my Dad hit me, but I ran away and he wasn't quick enough to catch me....so I got away. I went straight home with Dean to his family. I cried for hours, and he just sat with me, and his parents sat with me, even his dog sat with me. They were so kind. I haven't spoken to my parents since. Me and my sister are close though." I blinked and wiped away tears I didn't know I'd cried.
"Really?"
"Yeah...that's my story, what's yours?"
"Wait - so who's the second guy?"
"What?"
"You said you've felt that twice." Adam looked at me for a long time.
"I think you'll figure that out. It's kinda obvious." I frowned in thought and Adam nudged my knee with his.
"Don't think about it now. Tell me your story."
"Okay. Well...actually no, I don't think now's the time I mean-"
"Chris." I was shocked, he hadn't said my full name.
"You can tell me. I hope you realise I've never told anyone what I've just told you. Other than Dean's parents...and his dog of course." I laughed and nodded.
"Okay. Well. My parents are alcoholics. Growing up, my brother, Harry, he took care of me really. My parents just acted like they didn't know I was there. My dad was violent with Harry, but never to the point where he actually managed to hurt him, Harry can defend himself. So, I never told them. They didn't care about anything to do with my life...whatsoever." Adam looked genuinely sad and it made me uncomfortable to see that I had managed to break his wall of masked emotions.
"Does Harry know?"
"Oh yeah. He walked in on me kissing a guy once." Adam laughed.
"Yep. My first kiss, Leon. He was the only gay guy I knew about, so I figured we could give it a go." Adam smiled.
"He wanted to know all about you when he came here."
"Really?"
"Yeah. He thought we were having some kind of torrid, forbidden relationship within the office or something - typical baseball player, probably getting plots out of bad pornos." Adam laughed happily.
"Adam?"
"Yeah?"
"How come you're so...reserved, around other people?"
"Ever since..my parents got rid of me, I haven't trusted anyone, save Dean, his family...and you." I felt tears spring to my eyes.
"Me?"
"Yeah. I trust you. Completely." I smiled.
"You too."
"I should hope so. So come on then, I wanna know the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you." He leant back in his chair, stretching his legs out with his arms folded behind his head.
"My brother walking in on me and Leon."
"Seriously?! Is that it? No sex stories?" I squirmed, blushing furiously. Adam sat up straight.
"Chris, Chris look at me." I did as he asked.
"Are you a virgin?" I blushed again, now just feeling stupid and pathetic.
"Did you HAVE to ask like that? Using that word?? It's so cringe worthy."
"Fine!! Chris, have you ever had sex?"
"That would be no..." He gave me a look, that look, that sexy, turn me on, oh-my-god-Adam-take-me-here-now kind of look.

Okay, maybe I was getting carried away, but he made me hot when he gave me that look!!! I didn't know what he was thinking...so my mind was left to imagine!!

"How...how did such a cute little angel like you get this far without getting fucked?"
"I don't know..." I must've answered that question right because he was looking at me with that look that young teenage girls get when they look at kittens.
"Shut up!!!!" I buried my face in the crook of my elbow.
"So how far have you been?"
"Adam!!!"
"What?!! Answer the question!"
"Fine!! Hand jobs..."
"WHAT?!"
"Just...been given...a hand job..."
"Have you given one?" I nodded.
"No blow jobs?" I shook my head.
"Oh. My. God."
"What?!!"
"Nothing...just...wow...ok. So...onto something else, who's your guy?"
"What?"
"Who you've felt these things for."
"Maybe I don't want to say."
"John?" He winked and I laughed.
"Yeah. Totally."

We talked for hours on end about, well everything. He was sweet and kind and he really opened up to me. I couldn't tell him I liked him, not when I wasn't sure that I was the person he liked.

I woke up in the morning and I was lying on something warm. It moved.
I jolted upright and looked down, it was Adam. He woke too and looked at me.
"Hey."
"Hi." I felt freaked out. I had just slept on a roof the entire night...with my boss.
"We have to go."
"Wait-what?! Adam stumbled after me as I yanked on my shoes and ran down through the restaurant and outside, locking the door behind Adam and shoving it under the light as Lorenzo had asked me.
"Chris!!" He shouted, I was running away, home. WHY was I running? I knew I was scared but really???
"Fuck! Chris!!" I reached my apartment building and slowed slightly, Adam bounded up the stairs after me and grabbed hold of me.
"STOP doing this!!" I blushed.
"Look at me Chris." I met his eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He didn't ask it in a mean way, he was almost laughing.
"Why are you freaking out?"
"B-because you're my boss!! And you're...you're you!! And...what the hell is this...?" I gestured between myself and Adam wildly. He grabbed my wrists and held them in his hands.
"Shut up. This is...well I don't know really. But why are you running? What are you so scared of?"
"I don't know." His face was only inches from mine. I wasn't ready for anything. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he kissed me.
He leant down suddenly and before I knew it, I was enveloped in a hug. I was frozen for a second, surprised, until I looped my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crook of his neck.
He smelt so good, and his strong arms round me...I felt safe again.
"I'm sorry. I'm such a butt wad." Adam laughed and pulled away.
"You're not. You're innocent." We just looked at each other for a moment, I doubt his was, but my heart was in my mouth as I waited for what would happen next.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea if he kissed me now...

He took my face in both hands and planted a kiss on my forehead.
"See you at work. I've gotta go home and change. Last night was...it was really great Chris." I blushed happily.
"Yeah, it was. Thank you." He smiled and walked away, turning back and smiling at me again before going down the stairs.