Bruised and Scarred.

“Let’s go to bed” he said after drying me tears.

“Are Harry and Louis staying?”

“No, I’ll go kick them out”

“I don’t mind them staying”

“They’d probably rather go home”

With that he had left his room and towards the front door to show them out. I was standing in the doorway of his room when I heard Harry and Louis making kissy noises. As childish as the action was it got me thinking as to why they were making kissy noises towards him, but after all I might be hearing things too. Instead of worrying about them I changed into my pj’s. Right as I was about to crawl into bed Niall asked if I wanted to sleep with him tonight. For security reasons of course, I’d been feeling insecure all day so anything to help. I shrugged and followed him, crawling into his bed which was almost comfier than mine. We were lying so that we faced each other when he said, “Did you believe me” without making eye contact, but instead playing with the thread to his pillowcase. “Yes” I replied in a believable tone. As sweet as it all was I’m still having my doubts. From there we told each other goodnight and drifted off having peaceful dreams for once.

When I woke up crystal blue eyes were practically staring into my soul. “Can I help you?” I asked sleepily. “Will you pretty please make us pancakes?” he asked like he was a small child scared about waking his parents or something.

“Us? Did you invite the whole town over for pancakes?”

He laughed while I slid out of bed and followed to see my five favorite faces waiting tiredly, but hungrily at the breakfast bar. “You can cook Harry, why didn’t you start making pancakes?” I asked while pulling out the ingredients. “Because, yours are better Jessa” he answered with a bright smile. “So, Jessa why was Niall so eager to kick Harry and myself out last night?” Louis asked smoothly while playing with the salt and pepper shakers. I looked at him confused, but continued to pour the batter. “What do you mean? We didn’t do anything if that’s what you’re asking” I replied. Is that what the kissy noises were all about? Did Louis and Harry think Niall and I were friends with benefits or something? Even though the questions rattled in my mind I kept making pancake after pancake for the lads who were talking amongst each other. As Louis leaned in to talk to the other four their voices dropped to a whisper, “Care to share, ladies?” I asked. They stopped talking and waited for the food as Niall blushed. “Ni, do you still have make-up on from yesterday?” If I didn’t know better I’d say it was from yesterday, but now I’m knowingly teasing him. At that his blush grew deeper on his pale cheeks. It’s funny when Niall is so vulnerable to being teased. “Pancakes for a pack of hyenas coming right up” As soon as I set the couple of plates in front of them they dug in like mad. I’d be screwed if I had teenage boys running around the house with an appetite like that and feeding someone like Niall. Not exactly Niall, but someone like Niall, possibly. I started making my own pancakes as everyone was just finishing their last one. I took my time as they started drifting from the kitchen and into the living room where they will probably end up playing video games for most of the day. Liam stayed though and kept a steady conversation with me while I tried to eat my pancakes. Randomly, Niall came up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist while planting a sticky kiss on my cheek and mumbling “Thank You”. Once he left the room once again Liam started a different conversation, “He’s cute”. “Yeah”

“You don’t happen to fancy him at all do you?”

“Can you be blunt enough?”

“Yes, and no, but that doesn’t answer my question. Do you fancy him?”

“He’s right in the other room you know” I obviously pointed out. He raised an eyebrow and I nodded as my answer. “But…” I motioned for him to zip his lips about it. He nodded and asked another question,” How did you meet him before X-Factor?” It was a sad story really, one I didn’t exactly love telling, but only to the people who mattered to me.

”Basically, he and his mother were going for a walk past my house and I was out on the front stoop bawling my eyes out as a terrified 6 year old. Niall stopped and said Hi and got to a point where he made me laugh, until he had to finish the walk with his mom. That was the day everything turned around, almost. At the same time everyday for four years he would stop by and talk to me. We became friends and it was nice having someone to talk to. He even got to come on his own eventually and brought me food considering how stick thin I was, it was gross how you could see almost all of my bones. I should have been dead, but with Niall coming back to see me it kept me alive for a little while longer. When High School started he eventually brought me to his house to just live with him. We were like brother and sister. He’d protect me and take care of me. I lacked much of an education, but I was really smart so I got to start in 9th grade. I used to read a lot from how little there was to do around the house”

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have tears in my eyes, but stayed back for the sake of finishing the story. “You don’t have to answer this, but why were you kicked out?”

I gulped and answered even though he said I didn’t have to. “My dad would go out at night and get drunk, then come home in the morning to yell at me and beat me for whatever reason. I’d be 8 or 9 reading a book on astronomy and he’d say I was a stupid child and that I don’t know how to read. Then he’d put me outside while he slept through a hangover only to put me in at night when he got in his car to restart the day before. I was practically treated like a dog. Except I was the child who had to teach herself to do most things you’d learn from a parent. I had no mistakes to really make, besides making a wrong move in front of my father”

There was something in Liam’s face that turned, I know he felt bad, but was glad Niall was there all those times I was being told off for doing something wrong when it was really good in anyone else’s eyes. “You shouldn’t of gone through with that, but I’m glad Niall was there” What did I tell you? I smiled a teary smile and hugged Liam. He held me and rubbed my back while I silently sobbed into his shirt. He didn’t mind and the boys couldn’t see into the kitchen from the living room to even ask questions. I felt like taking a nap, so I voiced this to Liam who let go and joined the boys while I went to my room without a second thought I was face down on my bed fast asleep.

I woke up possibly an hour or two later feeling refreshed after crying so much. Just as I was about to turn the corner into the living room I stopped when I heard them talking. I didn’t know what about so I listened to see if I’d get any answers.

“How come you won’t tell us what happened, Ni?” Louis said. At least it sounded quiet like him and from how well I know each of the boys it most likely was Louis. “Because, nothing did happen” Niall huffed in response. “Are you sure? You looked pretty cozy in bed with her this morning?” Harry pressed on. “Guy’s, why not just leave him alone. If nothing happened, nothing happened it’s that simple” Liam spoke up so Niall didn’t have to face anymore embarrassing questions about the subject. “Listen Ni, you’ve told us that you’ve been head over heels for her since you knew what puberty was. Find the right time and make.Your.Move” Zayn added, punctuating the last few words. It was like a blanket of silent air draped over all of them and didn’t give them anymore room to speak.
It’s been three days since I spoke to Liam. I was alone since no one could stay back this time. It was supposed to be an easy day off from hauling the boys around to interview and such, but I’m scared shitless. The reason I don’t like being home alone is because, one time I was alone at Niall’s house and being that he lived down the road from me it wasn’t hard to find me out in the garden picking roses and tending to the vegetable’s. He broke through the gate leading to their backyard and grabbed my shoulder leaving me frozen while I weeded the garden. It pains me to repeat would all he did so I won’t say. Going back to the present where I’m currently washing a knife in the sink I didn’t realize that I had cut myself until I rid myself of the terrible memory and looked down seeing blood on the knife. Right at that moment I heard the door open and close almost silently. This was odd because if Niall was home he’d be rushing in and looking for food with or without the guys at his heels. At the same time I rushed into the bathroom and cleaned the cut on my finger. To make it look happier I put a One Direction band-aid on it. When I was ok with my cleaned wound I exited the bathroom to greet Niall at the door. Except for the fact that it wasn’t Niall at the door; at that moment I wish I would have bled to death because of the knife. Anything would be better than this.