Drowning in a Malestorm

"And it was like slow motion,
Standing there in my party dress,
In red lipstick,
With no-one to impress,
And they're all laughing,
As I'm looking around the room,
But there's one thing missing,
And that was the moment I knew." - Tyalor Swift, The Moment I knew
Album Red. 2:43 AM

They never really bothered to help her, she helped herself instead.

They never turned to look at her, when Christopher and Carly showed up.

She always helped them, even if it was against her will.

She always looked at them, instead of Christopher and Carly.

Since the past few days her mind dropped to zero, she couldn't think- couldn't feel. As if the feelings belonged to someone else.
The sun tickled her skin as her friend Angelo waved a hello at her in his own silly way, but she couldn't laugh at his jokes- although they were funny.
Her hair reached her shoulders again, but she didn't bother to cut it off. She cut something else. Her wrists.

But she couldn't.
Her body kept rejecting her orders to stop, it only caused her to be tense- snappy. But she wasn't to blame, although she doesn't believe that.
Her ex- boyfirend always offered his help, but she waved him off each time he tried.

He couldn't get through her mental barrier. Chris.
It wasn't his choice to be that way, and neither did Elizabeth, have a choice for her attitude.
He didn't blame her, everyone else did. But he always kept his mouth shut.

There wasn't a single bit of tension in the air, it was cool- a little breezy, but nobody seem to notice her, sitting alone in the shadows.

A shiver ran up her spine, and she cupped her chin into her hand- leaning her elbow on her knees, which she pulled to her chest. The rain caressing her blood red lips, spreading down onto her labret piercing.
She couldn't help that she felt like an outcast, who wouldn't? The only one to be left out in almost everything. No father to hold her when she cried. An outcast. That's what she was.

The tension began to shift into something darker, the sun hid behind the grey clouds.
She could see her little brother Esther staring up, and gesturing for her to come home. The news warned for a storm, a thunderstorm. But she didn't mind.

Chris invited everyone over to his house, all- except for her. She knew he didn't want to hurt her, but why did he have to invite them all behind her back? Eventually- she would find out.
Not that she cared.

A sigh escaped her lips, now wrapping her arms around her knees to pull them tighter- leaning her chin on her right knee. Dreaming.
Alone at last. Nobody to poke into her thoughts, nobody to bother her. Just Elizabeth, sitting beneath a lone tree that stood a little bit further away than all the other trees.
An outcast, just like her.
Chris' invitation still burned till deep into her core, but she refused to let her mind go further than that.

The first raindrops began to tickle down onto the grass. The grey clouds began to get darker at that point, but she didn't notice.
Rain felt good against her skin, the cold little drops that slid down her arms, or the little drops that soaked her hair.

Her father once told her 'when rain falls, the clouds cry for the ones who are hurt.'
She denied that she was hurt, she was far away from hurt- long ago. Long ago she was, but now? She was only broken, waiting for someone to take the first step and heal her.
But her hope died a few months ago, when Chris and Carly moved in together and we're planning on getting married. Carly was now engaged. Nobody noticed a red lipped slender black-haired female hurrying out of the room, when he had proposed. But she didn't mind.