Status: A little bit of Kellic :)
I Don't Ever Want to Lose My Best Friend
I'll hold you close and show you you're not broken.
School sucked today and Kellin seemed iffy, i don't know whats up but i'm starting to get paranoid that he knows about Vic. His mum suggested that i move in with them, i agreed cause it sounded great spending every minute with Kellin but i don't want him to know. Vic asked me to come to band practise again i didn't want to be rude so i agreed.
This time when i went to meet Vic for practise the other guys were gone all the gear was set up, it was just Vic. Oh crap was this a setup?
"Hey, where are the guys?" Vic looked around and smiled.
"Oh, they er.. had stuff to do. They will probably be here in a bit, maybe i could show you some accoustic songs i wrote?" I didn't wanna say no, i just nodded.
"Awesome" he smiled and i felt my heart break. "This song is called kissing in cars." His voice was beautiful and tears began to fall from my eyes, I couldn't help it, to be honest i don't even know why i was crying, wether it was guilt or i actually had feelings for him too. Mid song he looked up at me and stopped, i hadn't realised how bad i was actually crying, he put his guitar down and came over to sit beside me. He put his arm around me and wiped away my tears with his sleeve. "Are you okay?" he asked as he kissed the bruise on the side of my face, it hurt as his warm lips touched my face but i didn't want him to stop. "Yeah, just having a dumbasss moment" i sniffed and he laughed. I sat there in his embrace, i could have laid ther and died i didn't want to move. Suddenly my phone buzzed. Kellin. He had text me asking if i was okay and checked that i was safe. I replied saying i was alright, but not where i was. I felt horrible. "Vic i have to go, I'm sorry, it's not you, Kellin was just worrying that's all" when i stood up he did the same, we were pretty much the same height, i was able to look directly into his eyes which broke my heart even more. He kissed me soflty for a few seconds and wrapped his arm around my waist, i hugged him back resting my head on his shoulder. "Sorry" i whispered and headed for Kellin's house. I wiped my cheeks to get rid of the black smudged makeup and the evidence that i had been crying. When i decided i looked decent enough i walked up the steps to Kellin's door for it to open and Kellin to burst out. Oh crap. He pulled me into a tight embrace and hugged me for a long time, he was crying fan flippin tastic. "I'm sorry i have been such a crappy friend and haven't been there enough, i promise you that i will always be here for you from now on" he sobbed into my shoulder. There it goes again, i don't know why i bothered wiping my face cause after he finished speaking it was completley black. I was surprised i still had make up left on. "Where has all this sprung from, you are an amazing friend! Don't be so stupid, you couldn't have done anything better" I firmly kissed his cheek and he pulled away and look me dead in the eyes. "I love you Tori." Awe bless him. "I love you too" i smiled and he looked down at his feet and back to my eyes again. "No Tori, I love you" we were both blubbing like idiots and before i knew it he kissed me and it was so perfect but so confusing. I wasn't sure what the hell to do now. I didn't sleep at all that night, i just layed there, wrapped in Kellins arms. I can't do this anymore, was all i kept saying to myself. I still had a few things left to get from my house, i'll have to do that tomorrow. I closed my eyes and drifted into a light sleep. When morining came i woke before Kellin and i gently moved his arm and got ready to go home, well my dad's house. This was now my home. That's weird. I pulled my All Time Low shirt on and put some black skinnies on and a beanie that i pulled over the side of my face. I looked in the mirror before i left, jeez my face looked bad it was going a dark purple now, hopefully it would fade soon. I let myself in with my key i always kept around my neck and silently shut the door behind me, not that there was anypoint.
"Victoria, i see you decided to come back then? Staying with Kellin i take it? Didn't you even consider telling me, to tell me that when i got home my daughter has left home to be with that faggot?!"
I stopped staring at the floor and looked at my (again) drunken father. "Don't call him that" i muttered. He ignored it. So i repeated myself. That got a response alright. He chraged at me but i didn't have time to get my key in the slot, so i ran upstairs to my old bedroom, before i could shut the door he stood in way, marched in and went crazy. He ripped all my posters from the wall and threw each one at me in turn, then my cd's. I gathered them all up and tried to pull myself together, i stood up "stop it!" i yelled trying to hold back my tears. My dad looked at me, he stopped and looked at me, then his face went red. He hit and kicked me repeatedly till i felt numb, i couldn't even yell at him to stop, i couldn't. Even crying was too much, i just laid there and waiting for him to finish. That was the longest ten minutes of my life and the most painfull, i heard the door slam and that was my indication that he was gone. I slowly sat myself up to realise that clumps of my lilac hair was spread on carpet. I flinched and touched my wet face, wet with my blood. I staggered over to my mirror on the other side of the room. I looked like something from a horror movie, i looked awful. I didn't know whether to call Kellin to come and get me, but no doubt he was still in bed. I was not going to call Vic. Bad idea, no matter what way i look at it. I felt like crap, emotionally and phyisically. I felt worthless. I wanted to lay down and die. Everything was going wrong and i hated it.
KELLIN'S PERSPECTIVE:
That was probably the worst day of my life, i am so relieved i managed to tell her, and that kiss, that kiss was perfect but i wanted so much more.
When i woke up Tori was already gone, she left a note saying she'll be back soon and i didn't need to worry. So i just got up, showered the usual and layed around and watched a movie, then my phone rang. Tori. She was hysterical telling me she couldn't do it anymore and how her dad had beaten her to almost her death. My best friends dad had made her suicidal, how the hell was i gonna get her out of this? Of course i rushed over to get her, her beautifull face was bloody and bruised, her lovely lilac hair matted and spread all over the carpet, nothing could have prepared me for this. I rushed over to her and helped her up and supported her, she was violently crying and i was tring my best to calm her down but nothing was working and that was frustrating cause i just wanted to make her happy. I took her back to my house, to avoid any further incidents and we collapsed on my bed she was still shaking and i just held her tightly and told her i loved her and that everything will be alright. She just kept repeating how much she wanted to end it all, to die. That broke my heart into a thousand pieces, i know that i cannot live my life withour Tori, she is my life, my everything. I was determined not to let her do this, she used to be so happy and that asshole and ruined everything, everything used to be just fine.
The next day i went to school without Tori, much to her dismay but i couldn't let her go in, she was in too much of a state. We no longer had to be a guide for Vic but he still hung out with us most days, when he bothered to show his face.
"Where's Tori?" he asked me during lunch. "I thought you two were attached at the hip" he laughed. I smiled i didn't know how to tell him, he ovbiously cared about her too. "Errr.. dude erm she is ina bit of a state right now, her dad beat her up and she's not in a good place" i ws whispering as quietly as i could so only Vic could here what i was saying. His expression hurt me too, he looked heartbroken, he got up and lefta and he wasn't in any of his afternoon classes. I passed Mike on the way to my last class and asked him if he knew what Vic was up to. "Yeah, he told me he felt ill and just wanted to be alone, that's all he said sorry dude." he shrugged and nudged my shoulder as he walked passed. I text Tori to check up on her, she seemed fine so i got through last class so i could just go home to her. She was a lot better today, she was speaking more, at least, hearing her voice is what i live for. "I'm so sorry Kellin, i have dragged you into all my shit" she began to cry again i just comforted her as i layed beside her. She had both her hands underneath my blanket but when she moved one to wipe her face, i notice she had three recent cuts across her wrist. Oh god. I silently took her arm and stared, she looked at me then away. I brought her chin back to face me and kissed her lips gently, neither of us said a word for a while, but i broke the ice "darling why have you done this to yourself? You can get through this, we'll get through this i'll help you" i said as i pulled her close.
"I'm just a broken mess" she said. My whole chest burned the person i loved most in the world was doing this to herself, "I'll hold you close and show you, you're not broken and if you still believe it i'll god damn fix you, 'kay" we both had tears running down our cheeks. I kissed the rugged cuts on her wrists and held her all night.
This time when i went to meet Vic for practise the other guys were gone all the gear was set up, it was just Vic. Oh crap was this a setup?
"Hey, where are the guys?" Vic looked around and smiled.
"Oh, they er.. had stuff to do. They will probably be here in a bit, maybe i could show you some accoustic songs i wrote?" I didn't wanna say no, i just nodded.
"Awesome" he smiled and i felt my heart break. "This song is called kissing in cars." His voice was beautiful and tears began to fall from my eyes, I couldn't help it, to be honest i don't even know why i was crying, wether it was guilt or i actually had feelings for him too. Mid song he looked up at me and stopped, i hadn't realised how bad i was actually crying, he put his guitar down and came over to sit beside me. He put his arm around me and wiped away my tears with his sleeve. "Are you okay?" he asked as he kissed the bruise on the side of my face, it hurt as his warm lips touched my face but i didn't want him to stop. "Yeah, just having a dumbasss moment" i sniffed and he laughed. I sat there in his embrace, i could have laid ther and died i didn't want to move. Suddenly my phone buzzed. Kellin. He had text me asking if i was okay and checked that i was safe. I replied saying i was alright, but not where i was. I felt horrible. "Vic i have to go, I'm sorry, it's not you, Kellin was just worrying that's all" when i stood up he did the same, we were pretty much the same height, i was able to look directly into his eyes which broke my heart even more. He kissed me soflty for a few seconds and wrapped his arm around my waist, i hugged him back resting my head on his shoulder. "Sorry" i whispered and headed for Kellin's house. I wiped my cheeks to get rid of the black smudged makeup and the evidence that i had been crying. When i decided i looked decent enough i walked up the steps to Kellin's door for it to open and Kellin to burst out. Oh crap. He pulled me into a tight embrace and hugged me for a long time, he was crying fan flippin tastic. "I'm sorry i have been such a crappy friend and haven't been there enough, i promise you that i will always be here for you from now on" he sobbed into my shoulder. There it goes again, i don't know why i bothered wiping my face cause after he finished speaking it was completley black. I was surprised i still had make up left on. "Where has all this sprung from, you are an amazing friend! Don't be so stupid, you couldn't have done anything better" I firmly kissed his cheek and he pulled away and look me dead in the eyes. "I love you Tori." Awe bless him. "I love you too" i smiled and he looked down at his feet and back to my eyes again. "No Tori, I love you" we were both blubbing like idiots and before i knew it he kissed me and it was so perfect but so confusing. I wasn't sure what the hell to do now. I didn't sleep at all that night, i just layed there, wrapped in Kellins arms. I can't do this anymore, was all i kept saying to myself. I still had a few things left to get from my house, i'll have to do that tomorrow. I closed my eyes and drifted into a light sleep. When morining came i woke before Kellin and i gently moved his arm and got ready to go home, well my dad's house. This was now my home. That's weird. I pulled my All Time Low shirt on and put some black skinnies on and a beanie that i pulled over the side of my face. I looked in the mirror before i left, jeez my face looked bad it was going a dark purple now, hopefully it would fade soon. I let myself in with my key i always kept around my neck and silently shut the door behind me, not that there was anypoint.
"Victoria, i see you decided to come back then? Staying with Kellin i take it? Didn't you even consider telling me, to tell me that when i got home my daughter has left home to be with that faggot?!"
I stopped staring at the floor and looked at my (again) drunken father. "Don't call him that" i muttered. He ignored it. So i repeated myself. That got a response alright. He chraged at me but i didn't have time to get my key in the slot, so i ran upstairs to my old bedroom, before i could shut the door he stood in way, marched in and went crazy. He ripped all my posters from the wall and threw each one at me in turn, then my cd's. I gathered them all up and tried to pull myself together, i stood up "stop it!" i yelled trying to hold back my tears. My dad looked at me, he stopped and looked at me, then his face went red. He hit and kicked me repeatedly till i felt numb, i couldn't even yell at him to stop, i couldn't. Even crying was too much, i just laid there and waiting for him to finish. That was the longest ten minutes of my life and the most painfull, i heard the door slam and that was my indication that he was gone. I slowly sat myself up to realise that clumps of my lilac hair was spread on carpet. I flinched and touched my wet face, wet with my blood. I staggered over to my mirror on the other side of the room. I looked like something from a horror movie, i looked awful. I didn't know whether to call Kellin to come and get me, but no doubt he was still in bed. I was not going to call Vic. Bad idea, no matter what way i look at it. I felt like crap, emotionally and phyisically. I felt worthless. I wanted to lay down and die. Everything was going wrong and i hated it.
KELLIN'S PERSPECTIVE:
That was probably the worst day of my life, i am so relieved i managed to tell her, and that kiss, that kiss was perfect but i wanted so much more.
When i woke up Tori was already gone, she left a note saying she'll be back soon and i didn't need to worry. So i just got up, showered the usual and layed around and watched a movie, then my phone rang. Tori. She was hysterical telling me she couldn't do it anymore and how her dad had beaten her to almost her death. My best friends dad had made her suicidal, how the hell was i gonna get her out of this? Of course i rushed over to get her, her beautifull face was bloody and bruised, her lovely lilac hair matted and spread all over the carpet, nothing could have prepared me for this. I rushed over to her and helped her up and supported her, she was violently crying and i was tring my best to calm her down but nothing was working and that was frustrating cause i just wanted to make her happy. I took her back to my house, to avoid any further incidents and we collapsed on my bed she was still shaking and i just held her tightly and told her i loved her and that everything will be alright. She just kept repeating how much she wanted to end it all, to die. That broke my heart into a thousand pieces, i know that i cannot live my life withour Tori, she is my life, my everything. I was determined not to let her do this, she used to be so happy and that asshole and ruined everything, everything used to be just fine.
The next day i went to school without Tori, much to her dismay but i couldn't let her go in, she was in too much of a state. We no longer had to be a guide for Vic but he still hung out with us most days, when he bothered to show his face.
"Where's Tori?" he asked me during lunch. "I thought you two were attached at the hip" he laughed. I smiled i didn't know how to tell him, he ovbiously cared about her too. "Errr.. dude erm she is ina bit of a state right now, her dad beat her up and she's not in a good place" i ws whispering as quietly as i could so only Vic could here what i was saying. His expression hurt me too, he looked heartbroken, he got up and lefta and he wasn't in any of his afternoon classes. I passed Mike on the way to my last class and asked him if he knew what Vic was up to. "Yeah, he told me he felt ill and just wanted to be alone, that's all he said sorry dude." he shrugged and nudged my shoulder as he walked passed. I text Tori to check up on her, she seemed fine so i got through last class so i could just go home to her. She was a lot better today, she was speaking more, at least, hearing her voice is what i live for. "I'm so sorry Kellin, i have dragged you into all my shit" she began to cry again i just comforted her as i layed beside her. She had both her hands underneath my blanket but when she moved one to wipe her face, i notice she had three recent cuts across her wrist. Oh god. I silently took her arm and stared, she looked at me then away. I brought her chin back to face me and kissed her lips gently, neither of us said a word for a while, but i broke the ice "darling why have you done this to yourself? You can get through this, we'll get through this i'll help you" i said as i pulled her close.
"I'm just a broken mess" she said. My whole chest burned the person i loved most in the world was doing this to herself, "I'll hold you close and show you, you're not broken and if you still believe it i'll god damn fix you, 'kay" we both had tears running down our cheeks. I kissed the rugged cuts on her wrists and held her all night.