Ambiguity
Trust
“It’s been three months since you’ve arrived and the only place you’ve gone is physical therapy,” David Monroe commented when he arrived home from a long seventeen hour surgery that had too many complications to count. Anastasia didn’t look up from her book or acknowledge that her father spoke to her. However, she did hear him but chose to ignore him because she didn’t want to go outside; she didn’t want to leave her father’s house because she didn’t want anyone to know she returned to Baltimore. “Honey, I know you don’t want to run into anyone but Baltimore is huge and didn’t they all move away.”
“All except the one that matters,” Anastasia murmured and laid the book on her lap to look up at her father. “Baltimore is huge but unless he moved, he lives fifteen minutes from here. He probably shops at the same grocery store as everyone in this area, gets his coffee from the same coffee shop that you go to, and gets gas for his car at the same gas station. I’m not taking any chances of running into him. This is all his fault.”
Anastasia stood up from where she laid on the couch and hobbled towards the refrigerator to find something to munch on. David followed his daughter into the kitchen, rubbing his temples as he went; he did not have the energy for this conversation. “Listen, honey, you need to get out of the house and do something. I don’t care what you do, just get out of this house.”
“Even if I wanted to leave this house, I have no friends,” Anastasia replied. Anastasia grabbed an apple from the drawer in the refrigerator and shook her head with a sigh when she thought back to what happened. Anastasia leaned against the counter and let out another sigh, while staring at the counter, “I was in love with him, dad. I shouldn’t have believed him when he told me that we could last, that we could make it through.”
David ran his fingers through his daughters hair before kissing the top of her head, “I know sweetie. You’re just going to have to find someone better than him. You, my beautiful daughter, will find the perfect man. However, I must get to bed and tomorrow Kate, you, and me are going for lunch. There will be no arguments. Good night.”
“Night, dad, love you,” Anastasia gave him a soft smile. She watched her father walk out of the kitchen and then sighed; her father was right: she needed to get out of the house. She grabbed her purse off of the counter and hobbled out to her car; she was craving a caramel hot chocolate.
Anastasia got out of the black Maserati her father had bought for her when she turned twenty-one to briber her to come home. She entered the coffee shop, her ankle stiff and hard to walk on but she made it to the counter without complaining or wincing in pain. She ordered her hot chocolate and then took a seat in the big leather chair in the corner of the shop; the chair that she used to sit in every time she came in.
Anastasia zoned out while sipping on her hot chocolate. This coffee shop brought back so many memories. This was the place she met Alex. This was the place she kissed him for the first time. They spent so many days here, talking about anything and everything for hours. This place was definitely not healthy for her but she absolutely loved everything about this place, accept for the memories and the picture of her and Alex that hung across from the chair she was sitting in.
Anastasia heard the bell from the door and looked up, her eyes landing on her recent ex boyfriend. She groaned to herself; she should have known better. She should have known that he would be in town when she finally decided to leave her house. She should have known better than to go to that coffee shop.
“Ana!” She cringed slightly, she had hoped that no one would notice her but, clearly, they had. She gave a smile nonetheless and stood waiting for Jack to come to her, “my Ana banana! How are you feeling?”
“Hey Jack,” Anastasia replied casually. “I’m,” she paused, “okay, as good as I can be.” Anastasia felt her stomach flop when she felt a pair of eyes on her, “does he know?”
“About your ankle?” Jack asked, “no. He has no idea that we still talk.” Anastasia nodded and gave him a hug, “you’re welcome.” Anastasia smiled and let go of Jack. “Can we get coffee?’
“Of course,” Anastasia answered. “I think I’m going to head home, Jack. I just can’t—“
“I thought you weren’t coming back to Maryland,” Alex said, standing next to Jack, his arms folded over his chest.
“And you said you would never cheat on me, but hey, we can’t keep all of our promises,” Anastasia snapped, before pushing passed her ex boyfriend and Jack, walking stiffly to the door. Alex watched her leave, irritated that she brought up the reason she broke up with him in front of Jack. He never told Jack because he knew how close Jack got with Anastasia and Jack would never let him forget it. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Jack.”
Alex watched Anastasia walk through the door and passed the window, watching her figure until she got into her car and drove off. Alex turned his head to face Jack, “what happened to her ankle?”
“Just know that it’s your fault that she will never be able to dance again,” Jack told Alex then walked off, leaving Alex standing alone in the coffee shop. Alex glanced around, his eyes lingering on a picture of Anastasia and himself both with a cup of coffee to their lips while they’re stared at each other with smiles and adoration in their eyes.
He really fucked up this time.
***
“So what are you going to do now, love?” Jack asked Anastasia while they sat across from each other at Panera Bread.
“I’ve applied and gotten into Hopkins’ Biochemistry program,” Anastasia answered, taking a sip of her lemonade. “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with my degree, but at least I’m doing something right?”
“As long as you’re doing something that you love,” Jack said to her. “I know you love science but are you sure that you don’t want to do something in which you perform?”
“If you haven’t noticed, the only thing I’m good at is dance and science and I can’t exactly do the former any more,” Anastasia frowned and took a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. “I really shouldn’t ask but—“
“Honestly, he’s not okay,” Jack sighed. “He knows that he lost the best thing he ever had. He’s drinking a lot, more than usual, he’s become so angry all of the time, and he’s sleeping with a different girl every night.” Anastasia flinched slightly, wishing she didn’t know the truth about Alex. He fell into self destructive patterns whenever something bad happens and as much as she didn’t want to admit it: she loved him and she didn’t want to see him spiral out of control like that. “It’s not your fault, dear. He chose to hurt you and it ishis fault that he’s in the position he is in.”
“I still feel like I need to talk to him, Jack,” Anastasia frowned and took another sip of her lemonade. “It’s hard. I’m here, in Baltimore, and I want to do is go running back to him. I know he hurt me more than anyone could imagine but I love him and I know that he loves me. Everyday I have to stop myself from calling him. I miss him so much, Jack. And I know that I shouldn’t but I want him back.”
“If you really want him back,” Jack paused to stare at Anastasia, “then you’re going to have break every rule for him. You’re going to have to play the game because he’s not the same Alex, not since he did what he did to you. He knows that this is all his fault but he’s not admitting it and I don’t know if he’ll admit it if you just come prancing back. You’re going to have to fight and you may have to give in to his wants at times. You’re going to have to be ambiguous about having a relationship because Alex said he doesn’t want a relationship. You need him to open up to you again, to trust you.”
“Trust me?” Anastasia sat back flabbergasted at what Jack had just told her, he cheated on me but he’s going to have to learn to trust me again. Jack just nodded, “is this what he really needs, Jack? For me to come prancing back into his life?”
“This is exactly what he needs.”
“All except the one that matters,” Anastasia murmured and laid the book on her lap to look up at her father. “Baltimore is huge but unless he moved, he lives fifteen minutes from here. He probably shops at the same grocery store as everyone in this area, gets his coffee from the same coffee shop that you go to, and gets gas for his car at the same gas station. I’m not taking any chances of running into him. This is all his fault.”
Anastasia stood up from where she laid on the couch and hobbled towards the refrigerator to find something to munch on. David followed his daughter into the kitchen, rubbing his temples as he went; he did not have the energy for this conversation. “Listen, honey, you need to get out of the house and do something. I don’t care what you do, just get out of this house.”
“Even if I wanted to leave this house, I have no friends,” Anastasia replied. Anastasia grabbed an apple from the drawer in the refrigerator and shook her head with a sigh when she thought back to what happened. Anastasia leaned against the counter and let out another sigh, while staring at the counter, “I was in love with him, dad. I shouldn’t have believed him when he told me that we could last, that we could make it through.”
David ran his fingers through his daughters hair before kissing the top of her head, “I know sweetie. You’re just going to have to find someone better than him. You, my beautiful daughter, will find the perfect man. However, I must get to bed and tomorrow Kate, you, and me are going for lunch. There will be no arguments. Good night.”
“Night, dad, love you,” Anastasia gave him a soft smile. She watched her father walk out of the kitchen and then sighed; her father was right: she needed to get out of the house. She grabbed her purse off of the counter and hobbled out to her car; she was craving a caramel hot chocolate.
Anastasia got out of the black Maserati her father had bought for her when she turned twenty-one to briber her to come home. She entered the coffee shop, her ankle stiff and hard to walk on but she made it to the counter without complaining or wincing in pain. She ordered her hot chocolate and then took a seat in the big leather chair in the corner of the shop; the chair that she used to sit in every time she came in.
Anastasia zoned out while sipping on her hot chocolate. This coffee shop brought back so many memories. This was the place she met Alex. This was the place she kissed him for the first time. They spent so many days here, talking about anything and everything for hours. This place was definitely not healthy for her but she absolutely loved everything about this place, accept for the memories and the picture of her and Alex that hung across from the chair she was sitting in.
Anastasia heard the bell from the door and looked up, her eyes landing on her recent ex boyfriend. She groaned to herself; she should have known better. She should have known that he would be in town when she finally decided to leave her house. She should have known better than to go to that coffee shop.
“Ana!” She cringed slightly, she had hoped that no one would notice her but, clearly, they had. She gave a smile nonetheless and stood waiting for Jack to come to her, “my Ana banana! How are you feeling?”
“Hey Jack,” Anastasia replied casually. “I’m,” she paused, “okay, as good as I can be.” Anastasia felt her stomach flop when she felt a pair of eyes on her, “does he know?”
“About your ankle?” Jack asked, “no. He has no idea that we still talk.” Anastasia nodded and gave him a hug, “you’re welcome.” Anastasia smiled and let go of Jack. “Can we get coffee?’
“Of course,” Anastasia answered. “I think I’m going to head home, Jack. I just can’t—“
“I thought you weren’t coming back to Maryland,” Alex said, standing next to Jack, his arms folded over his chest.
“And you said you would never cheat on me, but hey, we can’t keep all of our promises,” Anastasia snapped, before pushing passed her ex boyfriend and Jack, walking stiffly to the door. Alex watched her leave, irritated that she brought up the reason she broke up with him in front of Jack. He never told Jack because he knew how close Jack got with Anastasia and Jack would never let him forget it. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Jack.”
Alex watched Anastasia walk through the door and passed the window, watching her figure until she got into her car and drove off. Alex turned his head to face Jack, “what happened to her ankle?”
“Just know that it’s your fault that she will never be able to dance again,” Jack told Alex then walked off, leaving Alex standing alone in the coffee shop. Alex glanced around, his eyes lingering on a picture of Anastasia and himself both with a cup of coffee to their lips while they’re stared at each other with smiles and adoration in their eyes.
He really fucked up this time.
***
“So what are you going to do now, love?” Jack asked Anastasia while they sat across from each other at Panera Bread.
“I’ve applied and gotten into Hopkins’ Biochemistry program,” Anastasia answered, taking a sip of her lemonade. “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with my degree, but at least I’m doing something right?”
“As long as you’re doing something that you love,” Jack said to her. “I know you love science but are you sure that you don’t want to do something in which you perform?”
“If you haven’t noticed, the only thing I’m good at is dance and science and I can’t exactly do the former any more,” Anastasia frowned and took a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. “I really shouldn’t ask but—“
“Honestly, he’s not okay,” Jack sighed. “He knows that he lost the best thing he ever had. He’s drinking a lot, more than usual, he’s become so angry all of the time, and he’s sleeping with a different girl every night.” Anastasia flinched slightly, wishing she didn’t know the truth about Alex. He fell into self destructive patterns whenever something bad happens and as much as she didn’t want to admit it: she loved him and she didn’t want to see him spiral out of control like that. “It’s not your fault, dear. He chose to hurt you and it ishis fault that he’s in the position he is in.”
“I still feel like I need to talk to him, Jack,” Anastasia frowned and took another sip of her lemonade. “It’s hard. I’m here, in Baltimore, and I want to do is go running back to him. I know he hurt me more than anyone could imagine but I love him and I know that he loves me. Everyday I have to stop myself from calling him. I miss him so much, Jack. And I know that I shouldn’t but I want him back.”
“If you really want him back,” Jack paused to stare at Anastasia, “then you’re going to have break every rule for him. You’re going to have to play the game because he’s not the same Alex, not since he did what he did to you. He knows that this is all his fault but he’s not admitting it and I don’t know if he’ll admit it if you just come prancing back. You’re going to have to fight and you may have to give in to his wants at times. You’re going to have to be ambiguous about having a relationship because Alex said he doesn’t want a relationship. You need him to open up to you again, to trust you.”
“Trust me?” Anastasia sat back flabbergasted at what Jack had just told her, he cheated on me but he’s going to have to learn to trust me again. Jack just nodded, “is this what he really needs, Jack? For me to come prancing back into his life?”
“This is exactly what he needs.”
♠ ♠ ♠
...didn't edit.:]