Tallulah

Addie was the kind of person who was upfront about things. He didn't like to beat around the bush or hide things. And if he ever did hide anything, he was awfully good at keeping mum about it - like that surprise party for my birthday, for example. He was always very cool and collected, ready with an easy grin and a simple explanation for everything. He lost his temper, once or twice, but it was with someone else and it really wasn't that bad.

We had been seeing each other for about a year. He graduated from school in April, and had managed to get a job at a local news station as a cameraman inside the studio. (While it wasn't as illustrious as he might have hoped, he told me that there was nowhere to go but up and that everyone started from somewhere.) I had finally figured out what I wanted to do - teach history - so I had started taking some general education courses.

We fell into an easy routine.

We'd go our separate ways in the morning - I'd drop the twins off at school, he'd go to work, I'd go to class - and then we'd meet up in the afternoon and go to the library to study or to get something to eat or even to a matinee, sometimes. (Albert or Momma would pick the kids up from school.) And of course we went on dates - he really was kind of romantic, in his own funny way - and did normal couple things.

Everything seemed to be just fine.

But he started acting oddly, and I started wondering if we really were fine after all.

First, he was late to pick me up from class on a rainy Monday. I took a bus home - I didn't mind - but it was just odd because he wasn't ever late for anything ever and if he couldn't do something with me, he'd always let me know ahead of time because that's just the kind of person he was. And he was jumpy - fidgety and nervous, biting his nails and tapping his foot - even when we weren't doing much more than eating dinner or driving home.

The fair was in town that weekend.

Addie had never been to the fair so of course I took it upon myself to take him. I had been going every year for as long as I could remember, but with my sisters. But then Winona left (and called us maybe once every six months if she felt like it). Simone was doing her own thing and Katie was busy taking care of Trent and their baby, Hailey. So then it was just me and the twins, which was fine, until of course they fell ill - Albert had been experimenting with food again (he thought that if he saw a chef on TV do it that he could do it too, and better) - and Momma and Albert had to stay and take care of them.

So it was just Addie and me, and I can't say I wasn't happy about it. I thought that maybe he was just a little stressed out with work (he wasn't exactly thrilled about it but a job was a job) and that as soon as he got a moment to breathe and relax he'd be fine.

But I was wrong. If anything, he was much worse than he had been all week, shaking and stuttering and jumping at the slightest noise.

We decided to go play some games first and get something to eat later on. He won me a bear and I almost won him a goldfish, but I had really bad aim so I couldn't, not really. And then we went to one of those games where you have to try to dunk someone by hitting the target with a baseball and won a monkey. We walked around the park and got shakes, and the whole while he was oddly quiet and withdrawn.

I frowned, pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Are you okay? You're look sick."

"I'm not sick." (Addie was the kind of person who "never got sick".) "I'm fine," he amended, kissing my forehead. "Are you hungry? Let's get some hot dogs or something."

"You don't even like hot dogs."

"But you do," he laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go."

So we make our way to the food stands and get something to eat, and he finally cracks a smile. And things are okay, kind of. We sit on a bench and watch the passerby, and even though he's smiling and laughing and we're talking, I still feel like something isn't quite right.

So then we make our way to the Ferris wheel, and since the line isn't too long, we get into a red and white car and wait for the wheel to turn. I thought he might have liked it - I always did because it was fun and there wasn't anything for me to not like. But Addie didn't really like it, and if he did, he had a funny way of showing it. He was shaking and tapping his foot again, leaning forward and looking around.

"Are you afraid of heights?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," he says, looking over at me. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" I frown, making a face. "Because we didn't have to if you didn't want to." He shakes his head and sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets. I rested my head on his shoulder, looking down at the fairgrounds. "Is something on your mind? You've been acting weird all week."

"Uh, well, um - I, er - I - " He pauses, rubbing his left hand against his pant leg. "I need to ask you something, sort of? But, um, I just - I don't know how to ask you and I don't want you to think that it's you because it's me and I've just been trying to figure out how, uh - how to say this, but - "

"Just tell me! What's going on?" I laugh, shoving him playfully.

"I love you. You know that, right? I mean, I really - I really do care about you and - and I - I - I don't know how to say this."

"I love you too," I laugh, shaking my head. "Is that your big secret? What's going on?" The small cart came to a slow stop as we reached the peak of the wheel. The fireworks were starting and I smiled, biting my lip.

"I just - you're my best friend and, um, you're a really special girl, you know? And I think I'm really lucky to have you and I just - I'm so terribly in love with you. It's actually kind of ridiculous. I never thought that would happen to me ever, that I could feel this way about someone but here we are," he says with a quiet laugh, looking down at his lap. "And I - I know that we could be something incredible and amazing. And I just - I want to wake up with you and see the world with you and just be with you. What I'm trying to say is that I think I'd be the luckiest man in the world if I could call you my wife. Will you marry me?"

I look at him, feeling dizzy and laughing nervously looking down at the pretty ring in that black box, gold and bright and there's a diamond and that's for me and he wants to marry me and he loves me and we really could be something beautiful, I think, and so I tell him that of course I will because I love him - I loved the stupid bastard with every fiber of my being and maybe that's where I went wrong - and that ring fits just right and it looks so nice and he's kissing me and I'm so happy - so terribly happy.

I think that night might have been one of the happiest of my entire life.