Save Yourself For Someone Worth Dying For

I woke up the next morning and felt so refreshed. I looked around, remembering the events from last night. I can’t believe that any of that actually happened, or that Vic let me sleep in his bed. I quietly got down from the bunk and walked to the front. Vic was still asleep on the couch. So I made a pot of coffee. Once the coffee was done, I decided to go ahead and wake Vic up.

“Vic, hey, Vic, wakey wakey” I whispered in his ear. He mumbled something that sounded like a “no”, but once he realized it was me, he woke right up.

“Oh, Abby, good morning! You made coffee?” He asked, confused.

I looked at the ground, “uh, yeah, I’m sorry.” He put a finger under my chin and made me meet his gaze. “You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetie. Thank you for making it.” He said sweetly. I blushed and mumbled “you’re welcome.”

After he got a cup of coffee, he sat down on the couch next to me. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, I decided to ask him when he wanted me to go home. I know he and the guys were probably annoyed with me, seeing as I had an emotional break down last night. I still can’t believe I did that. God, I feel so stupid. It’s not like they care about me, they were just pretending because they felt sorry for me.

“Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that” He took a brief pause and then continued. “The guys and I were talking last night and we all decided that we didn’t want you going back to your house. That’s not a safe environment for you, and we want to make sure that you don’t try to harm yourself anymore.” He looked at me to make sure I was paying attention. “We would like it very much if you would come stay with us, after all, the show last night was the final one for this tour” After he finished, I just sat there. I didn’t know what to think. While they are my heroes, I barely know these guys. After all, I do have trust issues. I still don’t know if I can trust these guys, I mean, they’re rockstars after all. It’s like he read my mind though, because the next thing he said was:

“You don’t have to answer right now. We thought you’d be a little hesitant. So that brings me to my next question. The guys and I were wondering if you’d spend the day with us. That way we can get to know you and you can get to know us.” I bit my lip, but nodded my head. It can’t hurt.

“Before the rest of the guys wake up, I wanna tell you a story.” He was quiet, like he was nervous. I put my hand on his and nodded for him to continue. “When I was younger, I was a self-harmer myself. I went through a really dark period in my life. But then I realized that Mike looked up to me. And I wanted to be a better person, someone he could be proud of. So believe me when I say I know how you’re feeling when you take a blade to wrist. And please believe me when I tell you that I’m always going to be here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please, come to me. I don’t want someone as pretty as you to continue to hurt yourself like you do.”

I felt my eyes brim with tears. I always know that Vic had cut himself, but I didn’t expect him to tell me about it. I sure as hell never expected him to be there for me and want to help me stop. He was a genuinely nice guy, and I was a genuinely terrible girl. I don’t deserve to have him, or the others, in my life. I don’t remember when I started crying, but I couldn’t stop. Vic put an arm around me and held me tight. He didn’t say anything, he just held me and let me get everything out. It was so sweet of him.

After I finished crying, I asked him if he wanted to watch some television while waiting for the others to wake up. He said yes and then put on Spongebob, my favorite show. I smiled as he sat down next to me. About twenty minutes later, Jaime came stumbling out of the back. He came over to me, sat next to me, and kissed my cheek. I blushed.

“Good morning Hime-Time” I said, then bit my lip. He just laughed and mumbled morning back to me. Thankfully it wasn’t silent for too long because Vic spoke up. “Abby agreed to spend the day with us so we could all get to know each other better. Now, go wake the other fuckers up and let’s start the day!” He pushed Jaime to the back, and I started laughing. These guys sure were goofy.

About an hour later, everyone was huddled in the front lounge and we were just talking. The guys all told me stuff that they never told anyone else. Seeing as I did the same to them the night before. I can honestly say I was content, just sitting there and talking. I don’t remember a time that I was this relaxed.

We watched Spongebob all night, ate popcorn, and just had a good time. By the end of the night, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. It doesn’t matter what we were talking about, they always found ways to make jokes and make me laugh. It was a great feeling.

It was about 1 in the morning when Jaime, Mikey, and Tony decided to head off to bed. I kissed their cheeks, and wished them all sweet dreams. Vic and I were left there on the couch. We weren’t really saying anything. Just enjoying each other’s company. Over the course of the day, I realized that I was safe with these guys. I know that they won’t hurt me. I was comfortable and ready to start getting help. So, before I went back to bed, I turned to Vic.

“Yes.” I said with a smile on my face. His face scrunched up and I could tell that he was confused. I laughed and repeated, “yes, I will move in with you guys.”

He had the biggest smile on his face. He stood up, wrapped me in his arms, and hugged me tight. I sighed, thinking “I could get used to this.”