An Endless Infinity

Chapter 2

Well I can safely say that 4 weeks after Becca joined Yale Park and I took her in under my wing, things are going good and I think it’s appropriate to say we’re friends. I don’t really have many people I can call friends because they either end up fucking you over or stabbing you in the back and I’ve experienced that many times, it isn’t the nicest thing to happen I assure you. But anyway yeah Becca, she’s a nice girl and well we actually have things in common, unlike everyone else at college; I think that’s maybe why she stuck around and continued talking to me, because I was the only person she could hold a normal conversation about something she enjoys.

We get on well though, general talk about bands, TV programmes and the odd ‘OH MY GOD!’ moment when one of us says something either very inappropriate or unintentionally rude. It’s good to be like that, the day at college just flies by when we get into a deep conversation, and well I’ve never really had a proper conversation with anybody before because nobody really cares in this hell hole.

Oh and about Becca, well she hasn’t had a panic attack since she’s been with me; I think she just needs somebody there with her to calm her down when places get busy and full of people. She’s settled in well though, normally for a newbie it takes them ages to adapt to life at Yale Park, but it took Becca the grand total of 2 days and 3 hours to understand the clicks, the teachers and most importantly where to sit in classrooms because if you sit at the back of the room, you’re practically dead meat courtesy of the boys who think they’re better than everyone else.

But finally…ITS FRIDAY! Words cannot portray how happy I am for this week to be over as something bad seemed to happen to me every day:
Monday: Tripped over the bin in our study room and cut my knee open
Tuesday: Burnt my fringe in Chemistry with a Bunsen burner
Wednesday: Fell off my chair in History and hit my head on the table
Thursday: Slipped over on the fields and landed in mud, it was all over my favourite pair of jeans!
Friday: Spilt my cup of tea all over my Biology notes after some grade A prick ran into me while I was TRYING to revise!

“Come on Tori, bells about to go!” Becca shouted at me desperately from the back of the classroom as she put away our text books

“I’m hurrying up!” I threw everything into my bag as fast as I could, I seriously couldn’t wait to leave and I didn’t care if half my notes were creased or ripped. I just wanna go home

“Come on…” Becca spoke as she stared at the clock above the door “Oh wait…10…” She had this weird habit of counting down the seconds until 3.30pm

“You do know counting down doesn’t make it go any quicker?” I stated, time always seems to go slower when you count down or stare endlessly at the clock, watching the second hand pass by so slowly.

“Shut it Woodward!” Becca stuck her tongue out at me; the usual reply

“Fine…”

“3…”

“See it always goes slower!”

“2…”

“For God sake hurry up I wanna go home!”

“1!”

“Right let’s get outta here!” As soon as that bell rang we ran out of that building to try and avoid all the greasy haired, annoying, hormonal people in lower years who think they’re ‘In love’ after dating for the grand total of 2 weeks. It only took us 39 seconds today to walk back out through the main gates of Sixth Form; new record!

“Nice work there Greene, pushing past everyone” I laughed

“Well that’s why you have a big bag like mine, its perfect for hitting people with and making a path!” Becca laughed back. It was finally nice to have someone to walk home from college with too, for the past 6 years I’ve just been used to walking in the opposite direction to everyone else, putting my iPod on before getting lost in the music and arriving home approximately 20 minutes later. Apparently my house is in the ‘Posh area’ of the town I live, I honestly don’t know what makes it posh; There’s a few 4 and 5 bedroom houses and a big park, but honestly I don’t think its posh, it’s just where I live!

“Well that’s very true, I’ll stick to the backpack though!” I replied back. Tonight I was going to Becca’s house for the first time. Now she is one of those people that live in the 4 bedroom house, but I guess her parents can afford it; her dad is an accident and emergency doctor at the local hospital and her mum is a consultant radiologist, I have no idea what that is but it sounds important anyway.

The constant talk about bands kept us going on a pretty boring and average walk back to Becca’s house, but my god the house she lives in looked huge from the outside; A massive garden at the front with an apple tree and the house itself looked about the size of about two normal houses. She’ll be seriously unimpressed when she comes over to mine for the first time!
“Jesus Becca this is huge!”

“You think this is big? You should have seen our old house then, it was just ridiculous” Becca chuckled to herself as she turned her key in the lock of the door. “Well welcome to the Greene house, just dump your bag and shoes there please” I immediately did what I was asked, this was all far too posh for me to handle.

‘Now remember Victoria Scarlet Woodward do not make a fool of yourself okay?’ my subconscious likes to remind me every day not to make a fool of myself or do something embarrassing but I guess that naturally happens. I can’t make any promises brain, I’m sorry I told myself before following Becca further into her house.

“Hi Mum, Hi dad” Becca spoke delicately as she wandered into the kitchen, she was instantly greeted by a woman about the same height as Becca, with pretty much the same looks; she definitely looks like her mum.

“Oh Rebecca, glad you’re home. How was college?” She was grabbed into a hug instantly off her mother, a rather tight one to be honest; you could tell from the look on Becca’s face she hated the moments of affection.

“It was fine mum, just usual boring day, anyway where’s dad?”

“He’s got caught up at work, so he’s gonna be late” Her mum explained, I daren’t move a muscle or make a single noise, the atmosphere was so quiet and so tense in this house.

“Oh yeah, mum…” Becca began to spoke, it’s almost like I’m not allowed in this house, like I’m banned even before I stepped inside. “This is Victoria, I told you she was coming over for a few hours to do some college work.”

Her mum turned around from over the cooker instantly, staring me down, perhaps already judging me before she’s met me. This was all a little weird to me, but maybe this was standard protective mother procedure.

“Nice to meet you Mrs Greene…” I nervously spoke. It seemed like I was meeting a boyfriend’s parents rather than a friend’s parents, I expected it to be warm and welcoming, that it would be a pleasant meeting but I’m wrong, her mum is one of the rudest people I know and she hasn’t even said anything yet!

“Victoria.” Her mum seemed to somewhat snap at me, I was not expecting this! I turned to Becca who seemed to have a look of disapproval and sadness etched upon her face, clearly this kinda thing has happened before. Becca turned around from looking at her mother before morosely walking away, heading towards the stair case. No further words were spoken between me and Mrs Greene. I followed Becca up the staircase, taking a first left then a second right into her room, I watched as she dumped her stuff on the edge of her bed and sighed deeply before slamming the door shut; clearly not happy.

“I’m sorry about her, I guess I’m just not allowed friends anymore.” Becca stated as she stared aimlessly into thin air.

“Its fine, don’t worry about it. But not allowed friends? I don’t follow…” I was seriously confused right now. Maybe I don’t fit her mother’s criteria for being her daughter’s friend, or maybe it’s more complicated than that.

“Yeah, she seems to hate me having friends, talking to people, that I shouldn’t get too close to anyone because they’ll just ‘hurt you Rebecca!’ ” I could tell this had happened before, or something similar had for sure. I’ve never seen Becca upset before, but I guess this was a first time for everything.

“Yeah but I’m not gonna hurt you am I?” I questioned as the tears began to well up in Becca’s eyes. shit what have I started? World War Three in the Greene household? I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her as she rubbed violently at her eyes, trying desperately to stop herself from crying. “Listen it’s okay to cry too you know, you don’t have to hide it from me”

“No I shouldn’t cry, I’m being pathetic and this is just a sign of weakness. I’ve always been told not to cry so that’s what I’m doing, not crying” I knew there’s something wrong with Becca, something seriously distressing or emotionally destroying which is working its way through her mind right now.

“No it’s not a sign of weakness at all Becca, whoever has told you that is wrong, there’s nothing wrong about crying”

“Yeah but you haven’t been through what I have have you?” Becca sobbed. What is she one about? Haven’t been through what she has? I’m confused right now

“Becca what do you mean?” I questioned, I didn’t want to seem to be interfering, but I guess it is always best to vent and get things out in the open so they don’t eat away at you.

She immediately stepped off the bed and headed towards her vanity table, a big white thing with the biggest mirror imaginable. She carefully creaked open one of the drawers and pulled out something that resembled a book. She returned to the bed, sitting close by and handing me the big, blue flowery book entitled ‘The Past’ . I quickly realised that this wasn’t a book but instead a photo album. A sat there for what seemed like a lifetime, just staring at it, not actually daring to open the front cover and take a look inside.

“You can open this you know…” Becca hesitated to say, clearly no one has seen this before,she almost seemed scared for me to open it, to reveal what was encapsulated and inscribed upon the pages.

“Okay” I folded over the front cover to be greeted with a simple message in Becca’s ultra neat handwriting.

Rebecca Rose Green, this is your mind speaking. Remember as you look through these pages, these are moments that have happened and that will not happen again okay? Because off all the things on the subsequent pages you are a stronger person than you have ever been and you would have never beaten it if you didn’t believe in yourself. Keep believing Becca! X

Okay that’s an inspirational message, but I kind of don’t wanna turn the page now, find out what this photo album has to offer and what is meant by ‘it won’t happen again’

“Becca are you sure you want me to look at this?” I questioned, again just to make she was okay with me doing this

“Yes I need you to look at it, I need to be honest with you, I don’t want secrets to be held back from one another” Becca smiled a small smile at me and turned the page for me.

Photographs, lots and lots of photographs. I could tell it was Becca in the photographs but it just didn’t seem like her at all. There were ones of her in hospital, hooked up to some machine as she smiled at the camera trying to be brave and strong for herself, there were lots of these. As I turned the pages she seemed to be change, her hair started to get shorter, and eventually there was none. Her smile started to turn into a frown, ultimately to disappear completely. Her body changing, from the perfect curvy size 12 girl, to a thin, ill looking girl. This wasn’t the Becca I know.

With each page turned, with each photograph looked at Becca just seemed to look worse and worse, more frail and closer to giving up in each photo. I lifted my eyes up from the book and looked deeply at Becca, she was crying her eyes out, sobbing endlessly. I knew what this was.
That big C word that nobody likes to speak about.

I grabbed her tightly into a hug as she grabbed me back, almost not wanting to let go at all. I could tell this was hard for her to look back at, to relieve, but she wanted me to look at this, she wanted me to know this and not keep this from me.

“Hey shh Becca its okay, look I’ve closed it now” I tried to calm her down as she continued to cry, dampening my shirt all the while.

“I-I’ve never shown that anybody before, I-I don’t trust people like I t-trust you…” Becca lifted her head off my shoulder and wiped her eyes, trying to remove any hint of moisture from them

“It’s okay, I’m here for you okay?”

“I was 14…I was diagnosed with Actute lymphoblastic leukemia. Yeah that big C word that nobody ever speaks about…” Becca stuttered as she spoke, I was honestly shocked that this happened to her, such a lovely girl like her, but I guess it can affect anyone. “It was bad, ended up being quite aggressive in the end, that’s why I lost my hair quickly and lost so much weight…”

“It’s okay you don’t have to carry on Becca” I suggested “I know its hard for you to explain and I understand if you don’t wanna say anything else”

“No no I want to tell you…” Becca insisted, so I shut up and listened intently “So I had chemotherapy for 12 weeks, it was hell, I was sick every day, I was admitted to hospital more times than anybody would want to be In their entire life time. It was horrible Tori.” Becca paused for a moment, just regaining composure before continuing.

“And well chemotherapy only party worked, so it was a case of radiotherapy for me to prepare my body for a bone marrow transplant, the last resort really” Now I couldn’t help but to cry, I’ve only known her for 4 weeks but god I feel like I’ve known her a lifetime.

“So I had the bone marrow transplant and I was in quarantine in hospital for 6 weeks while I recovered. The tests, the therapy continued and the more and more needles I had, the more times I threw up or coughed up blood, the more times I’d pass out the closer I was to giving it all up. But I guess I continued fighting until the end, and well I’ve been in remission of 3 years now and well, I’m glad I didn’t give up.” Becca let out a huge breath that she had been holding in for what to me seemed to last forever.

“And well my parents, well we don’t have to best relationship anymore; my mum is far too protective of me, and well dad, I think he’s still not got over the fact that his daughter is on death doors.” Becca explained “This is why mum acts how she does, she doesn’t like me getting too close to anybody anymore because she doesn’t want anything to happen to me, she doesn’t want to lose me or risk losing me again. She always told me not to cry when going through my treatment, that I should show the doctors and nurses that ‘you’re a strong girl Rebecca darling, that you can beat this’ and to her me crying during treatment was me giving up. I guess she’s just very protective of me now, and I apologise for that Tori.”

“Becca its fine, honestly don’t worry about it. I just can’t believe it…”

“And that’s why we moved down here. I was at the children’s hospital here pretty much every moment of my time and well mum and dad wanted to be close by too me, so if I had to stay overnight and if anything happened they would be close enough to visit me and be at my bedside instantly” Becca grabbed the photo album off me and placed it back in the drawer, to possibly be locked away forever now.

“Becca?” I questioned as she turned around to face me, shaking slightly again at the shock of revisiting all those past times and memories.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you never gave up” I pulled her into a long, friendly hug “I’m glad you never gave up”
♠ ♠ ♠
Well thank you to everyone who has read this so far, its my first time writing an original fiction and well i wanted to write something pretty gritty, so here it is. Yeah the big C word, its not nice is it and I know this as i've lost many a person from it, so i guess all the emotion and experience from that has been poured into this chapter.

Anyway, lets throw those tissues in the bin and again thanks for reading, any comments will be welcome and I'll hopefully get the next chapter up soon!

x