First Time

"Allie." My mum knocked on the door. I had been here for nearly 4 hours now. I hadn't been asleep, I was just lying in the bed, thinking. She opened the door and stuck her head around it. "You've got a visitor." I shifted slightly so I was looking at her.

"If it's Joe," I croaked before coughing to clear my throat. "Then I don't want to see him."

"It's not Joe." She replied. I narrowed my eyebrows and she stepped out of the way, revealing Nick. I glanced at my mum, before siting up fully. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Thanks." Nick muttered as my mum walked out. She shut the door behind herself and Nick came and sat on the corner of the bed, looking at me. "What the hell happened?" He asked, looking really confused. "You were fine yesterday and today you have walked out."

"I had no choice." I replied, shaking my head. "I had to leave."

"You didn't." He replied, shrugging his shoulders. "So what happened? Joe didn't want to tell us."

"Rose came and told me something." I shrugged my shoulders, as if it didn't matter. When Nick didn't reply, it suddenly clicked in my head. "Oh my god, you knew as well?!"

"I only knew that he had met with her, honestly!" He held both hands up in the air in defence. I stated at him. "He told me about a month after it all happened. He told me it was a mistake meeting up with her. He had only just gotten back together with you and he already messed it up."

"I can't believe either of you." I shook my head. The two people in the world that I thought might tell me the truth, lied to me. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"I did it to protect you, Allie." Nick replied, moving closer to me. "I knew how much it was going to hurt you so-"

"So you thought you'd keep it from me? What do you think hurts more?" I asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I think the fact that you have left Joe and now seen how much of a mistake you have made hurts you the most." I felt like punching him in his face. He didn't know how I was feeling, even I didn't know. "Because whatever Rose said to you, isn't worth throwing away everything you and Joe have. Especially the chance for your girl to grow up with-"

"No!" I stopped him. He looked at me, surprised at my shouting. Me and Nick never had a shouting friendship when we were younger, but now we did. "Joe messed up. Not me. Okay? He lied about everything. About meeting with Rose, about our relationship."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, tilting his head to the side. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Allie, what did Rose say to you?"

"Joe never wanted me." I told Nick, staring his dead in the eyes, no emotion covering my face. "Everything was a lie. If I wasn't pregnant, he would never be with me."

"That's true." Nick agreed. I turned to him, shock and hurt covering my face. "What? It is."

"What-? I can't-"

"If you weren't pregnant, you wouldn't be here, would you?" I shrugged my shoulders, but we both knew the answer. "No, you wouldn't. So you and Joe wouldn't be together anyway."

"I was thinking about coming back." I muttered. Nick shook his head at me.

"No you weren't. I can tell when you're lying. You had to be forced on that plane. You never would have got onto it if it was your own choice." Nick replied. "The only reason you came back was because you were pregnant, Allie. Nothing else."

"So you are saying that the only reason me and Joe got back together was because I was pregnant?" I asked, narrowing my eyebrows.

"No." He was confusing me so badly, all I wanted to do was cry. "The only reason you came back was because you were pregnant. The reason you and Joe got back together was because you and him love each other so damn much you couldn't stand to be so close yet so far apart. Either one of you would have given your left arm to get back together. And you've thrown it away as if it didn't mean anything to you."

"He lied to me, Nick." I whispered, shaking my head. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug. "A whole relationship is built on trust and he lied to me."

"The both of you have fucked up in this relationship, so what?" Nick shrugged his shoulders. "I can see that after all this time, you and Joe still love each other more and more everyday. I remember the first time Joe saw you and the look on his face because I see it every day when he looks at you."

"He still lied to me, Nick." I said, allowing the tears to fall. "He still broke my trust."

"And you broke his." Nick replied. "You left him, remember? After everything, you managed to leave him."

"That's different." I argued. Nick shook his head and sighed.

"It's not." He replied. "You left and he lied to you. Don't you think that the both of you have issues to deal with yourselves?"

"I can't face him. Not now." I shook my head, wiping away the tears. "The thought of him being with her whilst I could have been losing her." I placed my hand on my stomach. Nick covered my hand with his and made me look up at him.

"The point is," He started to say, a warm smile on his face. "That you didn't lose her. She is still there, inside you. She wants a mom and dad that love each other very much. And she knows that they do. Just one of them needs to grow some balls and talk to the other."

"I can't." I shook my head. "Not now."

"In time." He whispered. "None of us are going to push you two together. We aren't going to get you in a room and lock the door." I laughed softly, making him smile some more. "But at some point, before this baby is born, you are going to have to talk to him. Or he is going to have to talk to you. But both of you will have to face each other, sooner or later."

* * *

I'd been staying with my mom and dad for about 3 days since my fight with Joe. I hadn't heard from him, not a phone call or a text. All the other Jonas's had come round a few times to see how I was but I had a feeling that they were only doing it to feedback to Joe.

I sat, curled up as much as my pregnant body could on the couch. I was reading a magazine; a hand resting on my stomach. "Hey Al." My dad said, walking into the lounge. I smiled at him, putting the magazine to one side. "How are you?"

"Feeling a little tired." I replied, nodding my head slowly. He sat next to me on the couch, getting me a sympathetic look. "And a little heavy."

"You've only got 26 days left Allie." He told me. I nodded my head. Me giving birth seemed so close, and Joe wasn't even here. "You're bound to me be a little heavy."

"Thanks dad." I rolled my eyes. He nudged me, making me laugh.

"I can't believe you're gunna have your own baby." I looked at my dad, who was looking nostalgic. I felt my eyes water a little bit. "It only seemed like yesterday that I was holding you in my arms. You were tiny, I could hold you in one arm and you'd fit." I grinned at him, feeling the tears run down my cheeks. "You were such a loud baby too, unlike your brother. You'd scream, you'd cry, you'd talk to yourself."

"I still do." I replied, still smiling at him.

"And now you're having one of your own. Just seems crazy." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Okay dad. Stop before you make me cry even more." I punched him in the arm. He laughed, but wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

"You're going to be a great mom, Allie." He pressed a kiss against the side of my head. "And Joe's going to be a great dad." I turned to him, my eyebrows narrowed.

"I never doubted him." I replied, still confused. My dad shrugged his shoulders. "He is going to be a great dad to her."

"Yeah, he is." My dad nodded his head, looking at the wall. "And he is a great boyfriend to you." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I was tired of hearing this. Everyone had something to say about it. "I'm not saying what he did was okay. Meeting up with his ex whilst you laid in a hospital bed, that's not on. And as your dad, I want to punch his pretty little face." I laughed, shaking my head. "But Joe would never say anything like that. About how you mean nothing to him."

"Dad." I said, biting my lip. "Joe is-" I struggled to find a word to describe him.

"Joe is so in love with you." My dad said. I kept biting my lip so I didn't cry. "And you are so in love with him. I can see it when you both look at each other. I can see it when he touches your stomach or when you say his name. Nothing can stop that, Aleah. You will always love each other, no matter what. There is something that will always connect the both of you, whether you are together or not." My dad rested a hand on my stomach as I gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying.

"God damn it, dad!" I shouted, throwing my arms up in the air. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks, uncontrollably. "I miss him. Like there is a missing a part of me. And I know I fucked up with it all." I heard my dad sigh; he never liked it when I used bad language.

"So go and see him." He replied, as if it was nothing.

"I can't." I shook my head, defiantly. "He told me me not to come back."

"Oh Allie." My dad laughed, squeezing my shoulders. "I can't tell you how many times I've said that to your mother and she has said it to me. It's an empty threat, a last resort in trying to make you stay. He doesn't mean it." I pouted softly. "Talk to him."

"I can't." I repeated, making my dad roll his eyes. "The thought of him and her makes me feel ill. I don't know if I can face it right now."

"You going to have to face it sooner or later, that baby is going to want to come out. And I will not let Joe miss the birth of his first child because you two had a row."

"Allie." My mom stuck her head around the lounge door, smiling softly at me. "Are you up for a visitor?"

"If their last name ends in Jonas, I'm sorry, but I really can't be dealing with them." I replied, rubbing a hand down my face. My mom laughed and shook her head.

"This person doesn't." She replied. I narrowed my eyebrows; I couldn't think of anyone else who would come and see me. My mom moved out of the way to see a shy looking Gabby. I felt the corners of my mouth lift up. Nick was right, I did miss her. She waved awkwardly at me before walking into the room.

"I shall leave you two girls to it." My dad said, pressing a kiss against head before walking out. Gabby lurked in the doorway.

"You can come and sit if you'd like." I offered. It didn't feel right being a massive bitch to her. She smiled and walked over, sitting next to me.

"How are you?" She asked. I nodded my head, giving her some attempt at a smile. "Really Allie?"

"Okay, so I'm not that great." I replied, scratching my head. "But health wise, I feel fine."

"That's not what I was asking, but good enough." She grinned at me. "Look, I'm not here to tell you that Joe loves you and both of you messed up. And that Rose is a massive bitch." I smiled at her, she actually made me feel better, no matter how much stuff we went through. "Because I'm sure you know that. Everyone has been telling you. I'm hear because I thought you might need a friend-" She stopped and looked at me. I wanted to laugh at her desperate eyes.

"Look, I know what happened shouldn't have, and you know that too." I admitted. She nodded her head in agreement. "I just wanna say I'm sorry for what I said but it needed to be said. He is my best friend and I needed to protect him."

"Allie." She placed a hand on my arm, stopping me. "I'm sorry too. I know I should have never walked out on him, and I'm kinda paying the price now."

"Why?" I asked, turning to her. I wanted to know everything that had happened between her and Nick. "What's going on?"

"Ugh." She said, throwing her head against the back of the couch. Always the dramatic Gabby was. "It's just-" She stopped and stared at her, her eyes squinting at me. "I'm guessing Nick told you about the texting?"

"You are guessing correctly." I replied, grinning at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Of course he told you." She sighed. I shifted, hoping that my child would get her elbow or knee out of my stomach. "So we started to text again and then we met up when he got back. And it was like when we were together. We were joking and laughing and having such a good time."

"And the problem is?"

"I'm still hopelessly, head over heels in love with him." I opened my mouth to say something. "Yes, I know. Lovebug. I didn't do it on purpose." She stopped and looked at me. "Where was I?"

"Hopeless, head over heels in love with him?" I reminded her. She nodded her head and carried on.

"Yes. And I am. And I know it's the wrong time to be realising all this, but I shouldn't have left. I should have done what you said that day." She admitted. "Allie, I'm drawn to him. He is like this light and I'm like a moth, attracted to him." I burst into laughter at her saying. "I just feel like we are going to be stuck in this place where we both still have these feelings and neither one of us is going to do anything about them."

"If it makes you feel better, I know something that you might wanna know." I replied. She raised her eyebrows at me in surprise. "He wants to try again with you."

"Really?" Her voice cracked. I nodded my head, wrapping an arm around her shoulders before she started crying. "Why?"

"Because he is a moth, and you're his light." I replied, taking the piss out of her saying. "Trust me, if you gave him the option of getting back together, he'd jump at it."

"Just like Joe would with you." She nudged me. I rolled my eyes, pushing her away. "That's not fair. You're really pregnant. I could push you and you could go into labour."

"A little extreme, but sure." I grinned at her. "I thought we weren't going to talk about it."

"We don't have to." She replied, shaking her head. I was happy that she had come around, age was the exact person that I needed to see. "You are actually massive." She told me as she placed a hand on my stomach.

"You're telling me." I replies, grinning down at the baby in my belly. "I've got 26 days left."

"Not that you are counting or anything." She muttered. "26 days until she should be here. Seems crazy."

"I remember telling you over the phone. I was barely even pregnant. And now I'm ready to pop." I stroked my own hand down my stomach, smiling. "I just can't wait for her to be here."

"I don't think any of us can." Gabby grinned at me. "Now I've brought over a bar of chocolate." She tossed it to me, grabbing more things out of her bag. "Also, I have brought White Chicks and Ice Age. Which do you wanna watch?"

"Thanks Gabby." I said to her, a genuine smile on my face. "You're just what I needed."

"What you need is chocolate and a stupid film. I'm just an extra bonus."