Secrets

Alice's PoV:

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You know that feeling when you do something so small, and then it leads you to something so huge? That's what I've remembered every time I was with my friends . . . Alone.

Now I was on a bus, just finished wrestling Andy, who've I found out who lied to me about his identity, that I met only a few days ago because I just skipped their concert. I just want to be friends and here he was, kissing me like there's no tomorrow.

Every feeling seemed to rush through me. I thought he was just going to play funny and kiss me on the cheek or something! But, no. Oh, no! He has to go and put his cold freaking lips on mine! I didn't care if my friends were here. Andy's band have become my friends. Yeah. I'm friends with Black Veil Brides. A position any girl would want. Actually, I bet any girl would want the position I'm currently in right now. Kissing Andy freaking Biersack. Well, almost any girl.

Any girl but me.

Every single thought rushed through my head. I mean, it's my first kiss. I never kissed Zach. Zach usually was the more. . ."physical" type of guy. We only dated two weeks. Two, cold, stupid, lame, and awkward weeks. Zach and I were just friends, then he went and asked me to date him right out of the blue! I think he just wanted to date me to . . . Well, you get the idea.

I hate this moment. Andy's lip ring was even warmer than his lips! My eyes were still open. Andy's were closed tight, as if for desperation for me to do something. I honestly couldn't do anything. That's all I did, was just stand here, shocked with my heart beating miles and miles a second. This wasn't shock. This was adrenaline that was just overheated by something more. Something I couldn't place. Every single memory I remember flooded back into my mind.

It didn't matter if it was something good or bad. I remember everything. I remember Max. I remember the accident that happened in the crash. How Max was always bullied in school. How I lied to Andy and everybody about the car accident. How Max ran away. How I would meet Max every week, secretly. Max was my only brother. He was a year older than me. He ran away because everyone treated him badly. The crash was just his escape. Everything he did was for the best, but everyone just hates that he was an "emo." I miss him. I haven't seen him all week. He'd always call. We'd always meet up. It was our little secret. Not even my mom or dad knew. Well, they know, they just want to know where we always meet. They need to see him again. My brother is just scared.

I hated this moment. It's why I never loved. It was the same night me and Zach broke up. He broke up with me because he thought I was a liar. He lied too, though. All he did was call me over to his house that night. He was talking to the two girls he got pregnant. I remember the minutes we spent together that morning. How he put his arm around me. It was a loving way to tell me he was sorry. It's one of the reasons I never loved again. He called that night and told me to go over to his house in the morning. He hugged me. It was as if every memory wanted to be screamed out. I never loved again because if it happens, all the lies want to come out over guilt. I just know I can't love someone without having to tell them the truth to such a huge lie. Andy has already told me everything.

I also don't want to love him because if he lied, what if I kept my life? I just can't do that to him.

The world slowly started to come back to me. How long had it been? It felt like hours. I think it was only a few seconds though. My eyes slowly came from the world of my life to Andy's closed eyes. I'll have to admit it sometime, but he looked at peace. I'll admit he was very hot. I'll admit I've seen him once a year ago on my friends shirt. I'll admit I forgot it was him when I first saw him. I'll admit I listened to the mix tape my friends da got me. I'll admit I wished it had a cover to their album. I'll admit I wished it didn't have a blue cover. I'll admit I missed the face to the Black Veil Brides tape. I'll admit I lived Andy's voice in the music. I'll admit I loved it because it made me think every night about how I missed my brother. I'll admit to everything! I'll admit that I even like this kiss! I just can't admit every truth to every lie I've said to Andy!

I felt so many tears roll down my face. Andy must have felt them too. He pulled away. I just couldn't hear anything. I saw Andy's lips move, along with his confused face. I just couldn't hear his voice. I could only feel the false voice of Zach. Him telling me I should have stuck up for my brother in school. Maybe he wouldn't have ran away. Maybe he wouldn't hate you so much. Maybe he wouldn't have to see your ugly face every week. Maybe he won't feel so stupid to have thought you lived him. Maybe, he doesn't. Even. Love. Me.

It was the last words from Zach that ran through my ears before I headed for the door. Everything happened so fast. I could see the door one second d. The next, I could only see the grass light up with light from the opened door. I could only see everything running vastly by me. I could only see everything that happened to me that one incident. Why does everything happen so terribly? Why dies everything make you cry. One second, I remembered I was running. The next, I found myself leaning against the wall.

It was the back of another tour bus. So many tears were running down my cheeks. So many footsteps were heard from the other side of the bus. Voices were loud. But I didn't listen to them. I just wished the whole world would finally crash down around me. I remember missing school the day Zach broke up with me. The day after Max's escape. He left a note for my parents. It told them he couldn't stand the bullies. I remembered the bullies. I remember walking around a corner one day in school. I remember seeing so much blood on the floor. I remember it was a week before Max ran away. I remember it was Max's blood that was on the school floor. I remember trying to run to get the nurse. I remember how they beat me up when I ran past them. I remember Max get up when he saw me on the, just like him. I was in a puddle of mine and his blood. I remember watching him beat them up. I remember the school bell rang. In remember everybody ran over to me and picked me up before everything went black. I was in the hospital for a well, with half of my ribs broken. My head was cracked with multiple stitches. I had two black eyes. It was a nightmare for months. I hated school. I hated the bullies. So did Max.

I hate this situation!

I know everything was suppose to be happy tonight. I just couldn't stand it. Why does my past have to get in the way of everything?! Every single night! This is all I could think about and it happens after a week I think it's left me! But no. It has to come to me like it's even bigger.

I didn't feel when I got up off the ground. I just remembered the pain that building up in those months when me and Max went through everything. Being bullied through that one week from the bullies. The crash. His escape. Him coming to my window a month later. He was almost dead. He told me he found an apartment. He lived for all these years. Be lived somewhere close. He took online classes since then. He graduated early. He's in college at the age of sixteen. It seemed as every memory came to mind, the more they started to fade.

After a while, I tripped on a branch. I had stopped crying a few minutes to look at where I was. I was in what seemed like a forest.

Deep in the forest.

I realized how scared I was. I also realized how alone I was. I realized twigs were starting to snap behind me. Anyone but any person inside the bus I was in. Anyone. Dear Lord, please anyone else. . .

I kept chanting in my head. I wondered if it was someone in the other busses. I mean, I think someone mentioned in the bus about a few more bands playing with Black Veil Brides at the venue. I just wanted it to be anyone but Andy. Anyone who I could tell what happened tonight. At least someone who could help me with my decision. At least they walked in front of me. He looked to be around 5'8'. He had chocolate brown hair. His eyes were a brownish greenish color. It was a mix. Info he moved the slightest, they looked blue. It was hard to tell. But, the color was hard to tell, even though his eyes seemed to be huge. He walked further in front of me. His long green shirt swayed a little in the so light breeze, as his black skin-tight jeans moved with his legs. He crouched down in front of me. I let him cup my face with his hands. There was no reason I shouldn't let him. He seemed kind. He looked it too.

"Hey. Are you okay?" He asked. I noted his voice was melodic, but a little higher than a normal man's voice.

I nodded my head.

"Are you Alice by any chance?"

I looked up and nodded my head once again.

"Everyone's looking for you, sweetheart. You've been gone for at least two hours and your car is still here. Yet," he began before sitting cross legged. It was then I noticed I was on my calves, elbows on my thighs, hands holding up my face, my hands positioning my head as I was looking forward. My hands were still under my chin as this man held the sides of my face. He continued. "I find you out here in the middle of the woods with your eyes bloodshot red. Why are you out here? And, why we're you crying sweetheart?"

"Many reasons," I choked out without thinking, but still answering both his questions. As If he understood everything in the world, he nodded and scooched to my side. His hands slipped away from my face, but instead to my shoulders.

"Mind telling me those 'reasons?'" I looked up from the empty spot he was in. Instead, I looked up to my left side - where he was - and just nodded my head.

"For lying. For not being the best person in the world world to my friends. For my sake and everybody else's. For screwing up everything in my life with secrets. Just . . . Everything," I said, whispering the last word. I buried my hands back into my face. The man sighed.

"Lying is what everyone does, sweetheart. We all do it. Don't blame yourself for that. We screw up things so we can put learn from them and to fix them. As for not being the best person to friends, it's the same for lying. No one's perfect at everything. You just need practice at these things. You look young, so you learn thankless things for when you're older. And for secrets," he sighed again. " Everyone needs secrets. If we didn't have secrets, we would never learn what trust is. I think your going through a phase in your life, sweetheart. Don't blame yourself. Now for one last question from me, then you can have your turn that you should really have since I haven't given you a chance."

I laughed at his last words then looked back up to see him chuckling, as well as me.

"What is it?" I finally ask.

"What was this I heard about you running off after Andy kissed you? Because in all honesty sweetheart, any girl would want that. I know from a lot of their fans." I laughed at his sentence. He was just trying to make me feel better. It was working so far.

"It's really stupid. And, I don't think I should waist another hour of everyone's life."

"We all have time, sweetheart. I don't care if it takes a year, either. Come on. You can tell me!" He looked a little desperate. But, in other words, I knew he was just trying to get another laugh out of me. So far he keeps achieving his goals from me. I told him everything. From the bullies, to this very night. I think I waisted two hours with this, but either way, I still needed to tell someone. Me and my parents were the only ones who knew this! Except my brother and this man.

When I was done, the man took me in his arms. We just sat there until it was my turn for the questions.

"You can ask me anything on the way back." I nodded and we stood up, brushing dirt off our butts.

We began our walk, his arm over my shoulders. It was a pretty nice gesture. It was not romantic, though!

"Are they looking for me still?"

"Yeah. Andy's a wreck, though. He keeps.saying it's all his fault. You do know he's been talking about you non-stop to me about you since our last concert, right?" I laughed but still nodded.

"What band are you in?"

"Eh. Nothing, too big. Or at least as big as the other bands. But, our logo is the same length as BVB's. I'll tell you In a bit. Next question!" He declared, pointing his other arm in the air, also earning another chuckle from me.

We arrived to the edge of the forest. I saw so many people everywhere on the grass. I even saw my friends and BVB walking around, screaming my name a the top of their lungs. We stopped for a bit so I could ask a few more questions.

"Why were you the only one looking for me in the forest?" I asked, raising my eyebrow and putting my hands on my hips.

"Because I saw you walk in there. You were leaning against our bus when your friends and the gang came over an addled me to look for a girl named Alice. So I told them I'd try and then I walked in the forest. I practically had to run to keep up with you though! You run fast for, what? A seventeen year old?"

"No, I'm sixteen. And my birthday isn't for another five months. But, at least you were close!" He pouted before walking a little out of the woods. I saw him chuckle under his breath, though.

"So? What's you name?" I asked him, as we started to get noticed by a few people. He looked back at me and smiled.

"The names Kellin, sweetheart. Kellin Quinn. I'm the lead singer of the band Sleeping With Sirens." I smiled and asked him one more question. People noticed us, but didn't notice who exactly I was. We continued out of the woods, and walked out further.

"Will I see you again? You know. As a new friend?" He smiled bigger. It was so cold out here! I wrapped my jacket around me tighter as he hugged me tighter. It warmed me a bit as I noticed he was shivering, too.

"You bet."