These Secrets Are Killing Me

"Jesse I'm leaving." He said, as he shook my body trying to wake me up. I rolled over and threw my arms over him, begging and pleading for him not to go. He apologized countless times, and gave me a final kiss goodbye. I followed him down the stairs and watched as he got his bags, giving my mom a hug and kiss bye. He wiped my tears away, kissed my cheek, gave me a hug and walked out.

I followed him outside and gave my uncles a hug along with their wives who were fortunate enough to go on the tour for a little while. For me that was another story dad wanted me to have a semi-normal life. I sighed as they piled into the car and drove out of the driveway, leaving me and mom alone. Mom had tears streaming down her face, she wiped them away and walked back inside the house. Leaving me outside in the cold crying for my dad to come back, or take me with him. I stayed outside for another twenty minutes until the cold got to much for me, I walked inside and jumped on the couch.

"Jes baby you hungry?" Mom yelled, from the kitchen. At least she was acting like a mother for right now, that is until she gets that call from that certain someone leaving me alone. Oh this was nothing new for her to leave while dad was away on tour, its just that I couldn't handle it anymore well I could never really handle it.

"No mom but thanks for asking." I yelled back. I heard her mumble something but I ignored it and flipped the t.v. on. I couldn't go back to sleep I was to worried about my mom leaving me with out at least saying goodbye. I heard the house phone ring I jumped from the couch and jogged into the kitchen and looked at the caller i.d. It was probably a telemarketer so I didn't answer and walked back into the living room, laying down on the couch.

My dog came and jumped on my chest I let out a groan and smiled. She licked my cheek as I petted her smooth black fur. Before I knew it she feel asleep on my chest making me the only person in this house awake. I flipped through the channels till I heard mom shuffling around upstairs, soon enough she was downstairs and walking towards the front door leaving me alone like always.

"Jesse I'll be back within the next week, I left my credit card and some cash in my room. I love you." She said, giving me a kiss and hug I replayed her actions. She left the house and slammed the door leaving me alone in this house. I let the tears fall as my sobs echoed the empty house, I ran up the stairs and pulled out my box. I opened the box and pulled out a new razor, pulling my sleeve up to reveal my cuts that covered my arm. I pushed the razor down on my slashed skin and hissed pain, the blood began to form and fall. I did this countless times probably until I felt my phone vibrate.

"Hi daddy." I answered, trying to hide the fact that I was crying.

"Hey baby is mom around?" He asked.

"No she's out scoring some crack and fucking random guys but try again next week." Of course I didn't say this, it would break his heart if he found out. It broke mine to lie I hated lying but lying as saved my family from falling apart. "No dad she's asleep."

"Oh well I'll try again later. Well I gotta go the plane's boarding now I love you both."

"I love you too daddy." I hung up the phone and sobbed, the blood coming from my cuts stained my sheets. How long could I keep this up, how long could I keep these secrets from my father, how long till the media picks up on mom's affairs.