These Secrets Are Killing Me
Your Concern For Me Is a Little Inconvenient.
I threw myself on the bed and cried my heart out, there was a knock on the door and the desperate calls from my 'family'. I ignored them all and just laid in bed thinking of ways to tell my father everything, but they all ended badly. "Jesse please open the door. We're worried about you." Uncle Frank said.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, throwing the closest thing to me at the door. It happened to be an alarm clock, it hit the door with a loud bang and broke. They continued knocking and yelling at me to open the door, and I continued throwing things at my door. Finally I had enough and threw my last resort, the only thing that they could ever contact me on was my phone. I threw my cell phone and watched it shatter just like before, I smiled inwardly.
"DAMN IT JESSE OPEN THE DOOR!" Dad screamed, I'm pretty sure the nurses were outside my door as well.
"Jesse this is Serena, why don't you open the door. I promise your family wont hurt you." Serena pleaded, I wasn't opening that door for anyone.
"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I screamed once again. I heard Dad yelling at Serena telling her to use the keys, she argued she couldn't do that. I heard Mom yelling at Dad, then Uncle Mikey yelling at Mom. I just sat in my room laughing now they act like a true family, how sad.
"Jesse come on open the door, I'm worried for you." Uncle Mikey said.
I lied when I said I wasn't opening the door for anyone I got off my bed, swung my door open and looked my family dead on. No emotion on my face or so I could assume, Serena sighed a breath of relief and stayed there. I just looked my family up and down and then once again I let a sob fall out of my mouth. I felt the tears falling faster while they blurred my vision.
"It's funny how when I don't need your fucking help your worried about me, but the day I called you screaming into the phone while I was getting the shit kicked out of me you just listened God forbid you call the fucking police. I know everybody on the fucking tour bus has a cell phone not one you called the cops, not one of you called Grandpa or Grandma. Not one of you dared called your wives telling them to go check on me.
"For you being my family and for you 'worrying' about me I find that so fucking hard to believe you don't you? But when I'm in a safe place were no one can hurt me, were I have people watching over me twenty-four seven you just now decide to worry about me. I don't fucking think so a family should be there for you, a family should listen your side of the story and just not assume.
"I've sat here in this room for two damn weeks and you just now decided to come visit, shouldn't you have been a wonderful father and come flying down here with me. Watch me get settled in, not just hope and pray that I would get here okay. How did you know that I would get here okay, you didn't know for all you know some crazy fucked up psycho fan could have kidnapped me. But of course you wouldn't worry because you have your 'perfect and loyal' wife.
"And as for my 'uncles' y'all are just as shitty, for not even bothering to fight for me. Don't pull that we care for you and want you to get better card, I've fucking had it with that line. None of y'all know the fucking truth and the one person who does is just sitting there, listening to me speak my mind. Probably praying so damn hard that I won't spill any of the secrets that I know and you know you can stop praying, you can stop your acting because I won't spill the secrets. I won't ruin this family because of your faults I'll let it kill me before I tell anyone a goddamn thing about you.
"So stop your worries, and your concern for me because the timing of way off." I finished my speech and watched them just stand there, looking around at each other. All of them had tears running down their face, I slammed my door shut and ran over to my bags and pulled out a fresh razor.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, throwing the closest thing to me at the door. It happened to be an alarm clock, it hit the door with a loud bang and broke. They continued knocking and yelling at me to open the door, and I continued throwing things at my door. Finally I had enough and threw my last resort, the only thing that they could ever contact me on was my phone. I threw my cell phone and watched it shatter just like before, I smiled inwardly.
"DAMN IT JESSE OPEN THE DOOR!" Dad screamed, I'm pretty sure the nurses were outside my door as well.
"Jesse this is Serena, why don't you open the door. I promise your family wont hurt you." Serena pleaded, I wasn't opening that door for anyone.
"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I screamed once again. I heard Dad yelling at Serena telling her to use the keys, she argued she couldn't do that. I heard Mom yelling at Dad, then Uncle Mikey yelling at Mom. I just sat in my room laughing now they act like a true family, how sad.
"Jesse come on open the door, I'm worried for you." Uncle Mikey said.
I lied when I said I wasn't opening the door for anyone I got off my bed, swung my door open and looked my family dead on. No emotion on my face or so I could assume, Serena sighed a breath of relief and stayed there. I just looked my family up and down and then once again I let a sob fall out of my mouth. I felt the tears falling faster while they blurred my vision.
"It's funny how when I don't need your fucking help your worried about me, but the day I called you screaming into the phone while I was getting the shit kicked out of me you just listened God forbid you call the fucking police. I know everybody on the fucking tour bus has a cell phone not one you called the cops, not one of you called Grandpa or Grandma. Not one of you dared called your wives telling them to go check on me.
"For you being my family and for you 'worrying' about me I find that so fucking hard to believe you don't you? But when I'm in a safe place were no one can hurt me, were I have people watching over me twenty-four seven you just now decide to worry about me. I don't fucking think so a family should be there for you, a family should listen your side of the story and just not assume.
"I've sat here in this room for two damn weeks and you just now decided to come visit, shouldn't you have been a wonderful father and come flying down here with me. Watch me get settled in, not just hope and pray that I would get here okay. How did you know that I would get here okay, you didn't know for all you know some crazy fucked up psycho fan could have kidnapped me. But of course you wouldn't worry because you have your 'perfect and loyal' wife.
"And as for my 'uncles' y'all are just as shitty, for not even bothering to fight for me. Don't pull that we care for you and want you to get better card, I've fucking had it with that line. None of y'all know the fucking truth and the one person who does is just sitting there, listening to me speak my mind. Probably praying so damn hard that I won't spill any of the secrets that I know and you know you can stop praying, you can stop your acting because I won't spill the secrets. I won't ruin this family because of your faults I'll let it kill me before I tell anyone a goddamn thing about you.
"So stop your worries, and your concern for me because the timing of way off." I finished my speech and watched them just stand there, looking around at each other. All of them had tears running down their face, I slammed my door shut and ran over to my bags and pulled out a fresh razor.
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