These Secrets Are Killing Me

I walked the streets of New Jersey alone at twelve thirty in the morning, yeah I was just asking for a death wish wasn't I. I could care less I just needed to get away from my house, away from my world for the minute. I crossed the street and walked till I reached an ally, my eyes must be playing a trick on me. I couldn't believe what I saw I mean yeah I knew she was cheating my father, but never have I got caught her in the act. There in middle of the sidewalk, in public my mom stood there lips on someone else who wasn't my father.

I felt what little of a lunch I had find its way to my throat and meet the floor. Street meet salad, salad meet street. I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve, and ran before she could look over at me. Once I was positive she couldn't see me anymore I stopped running and sobbed. The tears fell smearing my make up all over my face, making my tears black. I needed to escape this reality even if it was just for an hour, I didn't want to know the secrets anymore. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed.

"Yo Jesse happy birthday love! Whats up?" He answered.

"S-Shawn I saw her she..." I sobbed into the phone, I could hear him telling people to shut up, or get out of his way.

"Jess babe I'm sorry why don't you come on over. We can celebrate your birthday and forget everything you saw, everything you know. Sound like a plan?" He asked.

"Y-yeah I'll be there soon." I hung up the phone, wiped my tears, and began my walk to Shawn's.

===*===

I ran over to him and hugged him tightly. He picked me up as he spun us around kinda like in the romantic movies, only a drunken version. He placed sloppy kisses on my cheek and sang/slurred happy birthday to me. He finally set me down on the floor but grumbled when he realized I took his beer can. "Jess go get your own!" He whined like a two year old. I shook my head childishly and yelled no. He threw me over his shoulder I screamed and kicked telling him to put me down.

After a drunken happy birthday song I was finally able to begin drinking my problems away. I had jello shot after jello shot, tequila, vodka, and so much more. Lets just say my problems went away very fast, but they all came rushing back all to fast.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket I pulled it and answered with out looking at the caller id. "Ello?" I slurred, stumbling my way out of the party.

"Jesse are you drunk?" Dad yelled, I heard the boys in the back all shout what, or something along the line. I giggled and managed a no, he obviously didn't believe me.

"Damn it where the fuck is your mom, I've been calling her and she isn't answering. Jesse whats going on over there, is everything okay?" Oh wrong question to ask an emotionally unstable, drunk teen.

"Daddy every things falling apart." I sobbed into the phone.