These Secrets Are Killing Me
Don't Tell part 1
Mikey's POV
As we tried our hardest to keep Jesse from ruining her porcelain skin with anymore cuts, I felt my phone vibrate against my thigh. I excused myself from the group and pulled out my cell phone. Gerard I quickly flipped my phone and pressed talk.
"Dude where the fuck are you! Your daughter is having a serious meltdown!" I yelled into the phone, I looked behind me to make sure no one heard me.
"Hey look Mikey? I guess I have someone's Dad here but he told me to call his family and tell them he's never coming home, so if you could pass that message along to them." Some voice said, that voice was not Gerard. That wasn't Gerard's doing he would never just leave his family, never. Or from what I know. Would he really leave Jesse?
"What...were is he?" Only to be hear loud the buzz of a dial tone.
"Hey it's Gee looks like I missed your call sucks for you, anyways just leave a message and I'll get back to you." What? How could he turn off his phone that goddamn fast? I called back countless times, when he turns back on his cell phone I promise he'll be shocked.
"Mikey!" Alicia yelled, I looked behind me and sighed. I ran back to my family to help with Jesse.
===*===
Gerard's POV
"Hey look Mikey? I guess I have someones Dad here but he told me to call his family and tell them he's never coming home, so if you cold pass that message along to them." Mitch, the bartender, said. I just sat there and listened while drinking my vodka.
"So whats a big shot rock star doing here?" Mitch asked. I chugged down the rest of vodka and put the glass in front of him.
"Fill it up and I'll tell you." He laughed and filled up my whiskey glass full of just straight vodka. Something my body as grown accustomed to, after all the years of abuse I used to put it through.
"My wife cheated on me, and I'm pretty sure there's more than what my daughter is telling me. I mean you don't just throw away 17 years of marriage away just like that. I think she relapsed and went back on drugs or something." Yeah get me drinking I let all secrets slip and then hell my mind runs wild. No way in hell Lyn was that weak were she had to go back to her drugs.
After all I'm the weak one in this relationship, I was allowed to be. Right? What about Jesse didn't she have the right to be weak too? I mean what if there's more than just Lyn cheating on me, maybe she tried to stop to me from going to tell me the rest of the secrets. If that's true she would have just called right? Well how do I know she hasn't tried calling I turned off my phone. I drank what was left in my glass, and asked Mitch to surprise me next.
===*===
Justin's POV
"Jesse you don't need to this, please don't do this." I begged her. I held one hand down while her Mom held the other down. It broke my heart to see her like this. We held her down to the floor like some kind of animal. The tears were pouring down her cheeks, down her face and staining her hospital gown. I could feel my own tears forming.
"You don't understand. NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS!" She screamed. I looked around and noticed that Mikey wasn't with us anymore. I looked further down the hallway and saw that he was on the phone, with who I prayed was Gerard.
The doctors came rushing over to us and began to ask questions. Like how did she get up? Why is she here? What's going on? Annoying shit like that. After trying to get Jesse to calm down with no luck, we took to our last resort.
"Alicia could you call Mikey over here?" Lyn-Z asked, wiping her daughters tears away. While the doctors rushed to go get some kind of medicine.
"Mikey!" Alicia yelled, he looked over at us and ran. When he got to us Jesse was just starting to pick up right were she left off. Claiming none of us understood how hard it was for her not self harm, how she needed do this to make all of the problems disappear. I knew what she going through, hell I'm fighting my own battles. Right now I could just easily go across the street enter a cold dark alley and buy me some heroin, but I won't. It's a daily battle and I want to win.
===*===
Lyn-Zs POV
How could I let my own daughter fall down this far. Into this big black hole with no chance of ever seeing the world again, she kept falling and it would be my fault when she reached the end. I feared that when she reached the end of this black hole it wouldn't be a pretty sight. It wouldn't be good, it would kill this family. Much like I have.
She begged me to let her cut herself. She begged! My daughter was begging to pierce her own skin. "Please Mommy! It'll make everything so much better!" She said, like it would make the reality better. I don't know if she was serious or if the pain medication was kicking in. I chose the pain medication but I knew deep down she believed that running some sharp against her beautiful skin would make everything better.
Dr. Jacobs came running back into the hallway and pushed his way through the crowd of thrill seekers. I mean that hallway was packed with people, besides our family we had total strangers finding out all of Jesse's dirty little secret. He knelled down next to her and brought a needle. I can't understand her fear of needles, but when she cuts into her skin its almost like a heaven to her. What's more dangerous a needle or razor? After putting the needle into her iv line, the medicine that he put in began to take effect right away.
After what seemed like a hundred years Jesse finally fell asleep. Bob picked her up and carried her bridal style back to her room, me following close behind him with Jesse's iv pole. We pushed past all the people and fans who still the audacity to ask us for an autograph. We reached her room and he placed her down gently on her bed, he kissed her temple and walked away.
"Thanks Bob." I said, covering her with a blanket.
"No problem Lyn, the kid weighs like all of ten pounds." I laughed and then began to wonder. When was the last time I've seen Jesse eat a full meal?
Shortly after us the rest of the family walked in and filled the already compacted room. I looked across the room and noticed they all had the same facial expression. Sorrow and regret. "Has anyone talked to Gerard I need to tell him about Jesse." I asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
"Yeah he had some random dude call me to tell me that he's never coming home. Lyn I'm sorry but you know him he doesn't mean it." Mikey said, pulling my already emotional drained body into a hug. We broke away and faced the family again.
"Look this stays between us Jesse can not know about this. Tomorrow when she wakes up we act normal and just try to make her day a good and happy one. Justin I think you could make that happen best out of all of us." Mikey said.
As we tried our hardest to keep Jesse from ruining her porcelain skin with anymore cuts, I felt my phone vibrate against my thigh. I excused myself from the group and pulled out my cell phone. Gerard I quickly flipped my phone and pressed talk.
"Dude where the fuck are you! Your daughter is having a serious meltdown!" I yelled into the phone, I looked behind me to make sure no one heard me.
"Hey look Mikey? I guess I have someone's Dad here but he told me to call his family and tell them he's never coming home, so if you could pass that message along to them." Some voice said, that voice was not Gerard. That wasn't Gerard's doing he would never just leave his family, never. Or from what I know. Would he really leave Jesse?
"What...were is he?" Only to be hear loud the buzz of a dial tone.
"Hey it's Gee looks like I missed your call sucks for you, anyways just leave a message and I'll get back to you." What? How could he turn off his phone that goddamn fast? I called back countless times, when he turns back on his cell phone I promise he'll be shocked.
"Mikey!" Alicia yelled, I looked behind me and sighed. I ran back to my family to help with Jesse.
===*===
Gerard's POV
"Hey look Mikey? I guess I have someones Dad here but he told me to call his family and tell them he's never coming home, so if you cold pass that message along to them." Mitch, the bartender, said. I just sat there and listened while drinking my vodka.
"So whats a big shot rock star doing here?" Mitch asked. I chugged down the rest of vodka and put the glass in front of him.
"Fill it up and I'll tell you." He laughed and filled up my whiskey glass full of just straight vodka. Something my body as grown accustomed to, after all the years of abuse I used to put it through.
"My wife cheated on me, and I'm pretty sure there's more than what my daughter is telling me. I mean you don't just throw away 17 years of marriage away just like that. I think she relapsed and went back on drugs or something." Yeah get me drinking I let all secrets slip and then hell my mind runs wild. No way in hell Lyn was that weak were she had to go back to her drugs.
After all I'm the weak one in this relationship, I was allowed to be. Right? What about Jesse didn't she have the right to be weak too? I mean what if there's more than just Lyn cheating on me, maybe she tried to stop to me from going to tell me the rest of the secrets. If that's true she would have just called right? Well how do I know she hasn't tried calling I turned off my phone. I drank what was left in my glass, and asked Mitch to surprise me next.
===*===
Justin's POV
"Jesse you don't need to this, please don't do this." I begged her. I held one hand down while her Mom held the other down. It broke my heart to see her like this. We held her down to the floor like some kind of animal. The tears were pouring down her cheeks, down her face and staining her hospital gown. I could feel my own tears forming.
"You don't understand. NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS!" She screamed. I looked around and noticed that Mikey wasn't with us anymore. I looked further down the hallway and saw that he was on the phone, with who I prayed was Gerard.
The doctors came rushing over to us and began to ask questions. Like how did she get up? Why is she here? What's going on? Annoying shit like that. After trying to get Jesse to calm down with no luck, we took to our last resort.
"Alicia could you call Mikey over here?" Lyn-Z asked, wiping her daughters tears away. While the doctors rushed to go get some kind of medicine.
"Mikey!" Alicia yelled, he looked over at us and ran. When he got to us Jesse was just starting to pick up right were she left off. Claiming none of us understood how hard it was for her not self harm, how she needed do this to make all of the problems disappear. I knew what she going through, hell I'm fighting my own battles. Right now I could just easily go across the street enter a cold dark alley and buy me some heroin, but I won't. It's a daily battle and I want to win.
===*===
Lyn-Zs POV
How could I let my own daughter fall down this far. Into this big black hole with no chance of ever seeing the world again, she kept falling and it would be my fault when she reached the end. I feared that when she reached the end of this black hole it wouldn't be a pretty sight. It wouldn't be good, it would kill this family. Much like I have.
She begged me to let her cut herself. She begged! My daughter was begging to pierce her own skin. "Please Mommy! It'll make everything so much better!" She said, like it would make the reality better. I don't know if she was serious or if the pain medication was kicking in. I chose the pain medication but I knew deep down she believed that running some sharp against her beautiful skin would make everything better.
Dr. Jacobs came running back into the hallway and pushed his way through the crowd of thrill seekers. I mean that hallway was packed with people, besides our family we had total strangers finding out all of Jesse's dirty little secret. He knelled down next to her and brought a needle. I can't understand her fear of needles, but when she cuts into her skin its almost like a heaven to her. What's more dangerous a needle or razor? After putting the needle into her iv line, the medicine that he put in began to take effect right away.
After what seemed like a hundred years Jesse finally fell asleep. Bob picked her up and carried her bridal style back to her room, me following close behind him with Jesse's iv pole. We pushed past all the people and fans who still the audacity to ask us for an autograph. We reached her room and he placed her down gently on her bed, he kissed her temple and walked away.
"Thanks Bob." I said, covering her with a blanket.
"No problem Lyn, the kid weighs like all of ten pounds." I laughed and then began to wonder. When was the last time I've seen Jesse eat a full meal?
Shortly after us the rest of the family walked in and filled the already compacted room. I looked across the room and noticed they all had the same facial expression. Sorrow and regret. "Has anyone talked to Gerard I need to tell him about Jesse." I asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
"Yeah he had some random dude call me to tell me that he's never coming home. Lyn I'm sorry but you know him he doesn't mean it." Mikey said, pulling my already emotional drained body into a hug. We broke away and faced the family again.
"Look this stays between us Jesse can not know about this. Tomorrow when she wakes up we act normal and just try to make her day a good and happy one. Justin I think you could make that happen best out of all of us." Mikey said.
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okay next chapter will be a happy one!!! soo comments on this one?? happy fourth of July!!!