These Secrets Are Killing Me

"Oh no! Jesse you are not driving that car. Jimmy you have to drive she doesn't have her permit, or license." Mom yelled, running over to the car. Can you say buzz kill? Ugh sometimes I kinda' wish Mom went back to her old ways. But that goes away when I see how truly happy she really is. But you can understand my anger, this is my fucking car! I should be able to drive it no matter what. This is my dream car and I can't drive it!

"Alright Lindsey she won't drive the car I promise. J-monster hand me the keys and get in the passenger seat." He said. I stared at him like he was growing a foot on the side of his head. What?! Jimmy listening to my Mom, something must be wrong with this man. I think he's doing drugs. That's the only thing that could explain all of this really.

"What?! You're kidding right?" I yelled, stomping my way over the passenger side.

"This is so fucking stupid, it's my fucking car. I should be able to drive no matter what. This fucking sucks major ass, I can't believe this shit." I mumbled underneath my breath. I opened the car door and threw my body in the seat. I sat there and didn't pay attention to a word Jimmy was saying. For all I know he could have said 'I'm going to drive us off a cliff, hope you don't mind.' I wasn't paying attention. I can't believe after all the shit we've gotten into, he's just now going to play by the rules. What the fuck has the married life done to him. I put on my seat belt and turned up the radio, trying to drown out Jimmy's words. We pulled out of the parking lot and drove out of the sight of my family.

After we drive about a good mile away from the practice space, he pulled into a deserted club parking lot. He unbuckled his seat belt and turned the radio down. I turned around and just stared at him, what the fuck? "Well are you going to sit there all day or are you going to switch places with me?" He asked.

"What are you talking about Jimmy?" I asked.

"I'm letting you drive your car dumb ass. Now get in the drivers seat." He said. I squealed and unbuckled my seat belt in a rush, opening the door I almost fell out of the car. I ran over to him just as he was getting out, and gave him the biggest hug he's ever gotten in his life. I thanked him countless times and wiped away the tears that had fallen from my eyes, I was emotional today. I looked over at Jimmy who was already in the car, blaring some kind of music through out my speakers. I got in the car and buckled my seat belt, and drove off.

Turning the radio down to were it was a low mumble, Jimmy turned his attention to me. "When did you learn how to drive?" He asked.

"Oh when my ex boyfriend got pissed drunk, I had to drive him home. Ever since then I've been the designated driver." I said, glancing over at him. Trying to keep my eyes on the road we were going to the art space Mom and Dad owned. It was far away and in a secluded space hardly anyone knew about. Expect for the people that lived there of course. I say it was a good five mile drive away from the practice space. Nana and Pa didn't live to far away either.

"Your what sixteen? And you've already gone through an ex boyfriend. Your growing up to fast J-monster, and what was your Dad talking about. You are dating a twenty year old?!"

"Age doesn't matter to him Jimmy. He knows my age and doesn't care, besides my Dad doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Yeah he does Jesse, and so do I. I was twenty once and so was he, this Justin guy only wants one thing from you. I just hope you haven't already given it to him." He mumbled the last part.

I slammed my foot on the breaks and thanked God we were on a deserted road. I turned and looked at Jimmy. "Your kidding me right! If your trying to say all he wants is sex from me, then he'll have to go look somewhere else. God no one believes me when I say I'm a virgin. I am! I do have this dream of getting married, and losing it to that special someone." I said, the tears rolling down my cheeks. I was serious no one believed me when I said was. They all just assumed that since I went out with Shawn I fucked him. And now that I'm dating a twenty year old, my own parents don't believe me. Yes my parents asked if I was having sex with Justin and when I told them the truth, they didn't believe me.

Mom even told me that if I needed birth control she would take me to the doctors. Dad even asked if I wanted him to buy me condoms! I was hurt and felt betrayed. No one ever believes me, not even my uncles. What hurts the most is that Uncle Frank doesn't believe me, I can understand why the others don't. I don't talk to them as much as I do with Uncle Frank. He knows that if I ever did anything bad, or did anything with a guy he would be the first I told. But he doesn't believe me and that hurts. If I could prove to them that I was I would. I felt Jimmy's hand rub small circles in my back, he pulled me closer to him and let me cry into his clothed chest.

"I'm sorry Jesse I didn't know. It's just that we worry about you, I know your Mom Jesse. She wasn't one to be a Mom, she has to many issues of her own. I know all about the drug use, and the alcohol abuse. Jesse don't think I don't know, we all know. The only person that is so oblivious to this is your Father, and the rest of My Chem. And sometimes girls turn to guys for comfort. I know you haven't really had a father figure around,so maybe you turn to the older guys for a father figure. I don't know Jesse. Maybe your the normal person and know what's right from wrong. I'm just worried about you, so is Jenni and Steve and a little bit the new bassist." He said. I only just sobbed into his chest, if they knew how come they didn't do anything about it.

"She's not a bad Mom, Jimmy. She tries her best and that's all I could ask for." I said, pulling away from him. I straightened myself out before pulling out of the dirt road we had stopped on.

"I know Jesse, I know. So now I'm hungry can we go eat?" He asked. I let out a watery chuckle and shook my head yes. He threw his hand in the air and screamed at the top of his lungs. I looked over at him and laughed. He looked so stupid at the moment, I just couldn't help but not to laugh.

"Where do you want to go eat?" I asked.

"How about...McDonald's." He said.

"Alright I can manage that."

===*===

After eating almost everything on the menu, Jimmy declared himself full. And I declared myself broke. I don't why the man didn't bring his own wallet, but lets just say that Dad wasn't going to be happy about the credit card bill. We drove around aimlessly, when I finally realized that we were driving back to the art space I laughed. For no reason I just started laughing, causing Jimmy to look at me oddly.

"You okay J-monster?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. But I just kinda' thought we would get in trouble today, I mean after all I am hanging out with you." I said. He put his hand over his heart and let out a fake hurt gasp.

"Ouch Jesse that hurt. Nah I'm kidding...well if you want to get in trouble let's get in trouble." He said, turning up the radio as loud as it would go. I laughed and just drove not even paying attention to the road. I didn't plan on getting in trouble today, it was just kinda' like a given to be in trouble when I'm around Jimmy. Like I said before I wasn't paying attention to the road so of course I ran past three red lights in a row. It wasn't until I looked up in the review mirror I noticed the flashing lights. FUCK!

I pulled over and turned down the radio, Jimmy sat up in his chair and cleared his throat. He began to fidget in his seat and he started sweating like crazy. "J-man you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm just peachy." He said, his feet bouncing up and down. Oh shit he has something on him.

"You have something on you don't you!" I yelled.

"It's not a lot, I promise and I was holding it for my friend." I groaned and threw my head on the steering wheel.

"Fucking A Jimmy! I hope he doesn't search you." I said, rolling down my window when I heard the police officer tap on it.

"Hello Ma'am do you know why I stopped you today?" He asked.

"No."

"You drove past three stoplights, is there an emergency you need to attend to?"

"Uh no. I just kinda' wasn't paying attention."

"License and registration please." He asked, I freaked out. Jimmy began to sweat a lot more, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I quickly turned to face the officer and put on my best smile.

"What if I said I don't have any of that."

"Then I'd say wait here while I run the license plates." He walked away from the car and my heart began to pound I swear he could hear from it his car. I looked over at Jimmy who was just sitting there mumbling something underneath his breath.

"We are so busted Jesse. God my wife is going to have out for me when I get out." I noticed the police officer walking back to the car, a stern look on his face.

"This car is registered to a Mr. Gerard A. Way. And since neither of you look like Mr. Way I'm going to take you in for questioning."

"Wait! I'm his daughter. Gerard Way is my Father." I yelled.

"You can't take us in under what charges?" Jimmy yelled, from his seat. I put my hand over my face and sighed.

"I can't arrest you sir, but I can arrest the driver. For driving without a license and registration. Ma'am would step outside of the car please." I just stared at him for a good minute before doing what he asked. Jimmy being the dumb ass he is, jumped out of the car and threw his weed at the officer.

"There you can arrest both of us!" He yelled.

"Sir you do realize you just gave me reason to search this car. Now if you don't mind having a seat on the curb there." He said, pointing to the curb. I walked over to the curb and slapped Jimmy upside the head.

"You dumb ass we still have our luggage in there, and knowing my Mom she probably bought some coke with her!" I said, in a harsh whisper. I watched as the police officer searched the car, and popped the truck open. My hear was back to the pounding part and when he opened the suitcase I could have died. When he spoke into the mic and mumbled some cop talk into it, and when I heard the lady on the other end say 10-4. I knew we were in deep shit.

"Stand up." He barked.

"Put your hands behind your back. You are under arrest for having a narcotic substance in your car. You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used in the court of law." He just went on as he walked me and Jimmy to the police car.