These Secrets Are Killing Me

I screamed out loud I didn't care if the neighbors heard me, I didn't care if they called the police. My life is shit right now ever since I broke my phone I haven't talked to Dad, and Mom's fucking everything she sees. Her habits are getting worse she even has dealers calling the house, I know because I answered the phone once. Right now I'm blasting Dad's band praying to God that she hears and thinks about what she's doing. It's safe to say that both my parents have equally given up on me.

"Kid turn that music down!" One of her many 'guy friends' yells to my closed door.

I went to my stereo and turned it up till it couldn't get any louder. He kicked my door and screamed at me, telling me to turn the 'shitty' music down. Anger filled my veins, my cuts throbbed as the anger took a new turn, with each heart beat my cuts and scars pulsated. I got up off my bed and walked to my door, unlocking it and opened it. Letting the music blast through out the house, I hoped the neighbors called the police for a noise complaint.

"You spoiled shit turn the fucking music down!" He yelled again, did he expect me to listen.

I began to sing along with the words now just because my father can sing doesn't mean I was gifted with the same talent. I was singing off key and way to high pitched just to annoy this man. I knew it worked when I felt the sting of his hand across my cheek. I rubbed my cheek slightly and looked the man up and down, in a lack of better words I was sizing him up. I had the upper hand I wasn't high, I wasn't old, I had fast reflexes, and last but not lest worst comes to worst I tell my dad. The only way I'm telling Dad anything is if my life depends on it, if I'm on my death bed will I tell all of Mom's secrets. Despite what she does, how she acts, the way she treats me I know deep down she loves us. I don't want to break this family apart and with everything I know about her I have that power.

The music is still blasting through the house, he stares at me up and down just like I have done to him. I begin to feel uneasy like if I don't move this second I will regret it all my life, I want to move but I cant. Its like my brain is away on vacation leaving my body to fend for it's own self. I glance down at his hands which by now have been balled up into a fist, I fear for my life. Mom is out cold probably sleeping off a high, or a hang over. I'm here standing with an angered drunk, or worse an angered drunk, high off his ass man. I shudder at the thought of how his fist could bring my sixteen years of existence to an end, if he really wanted.

I notice the slight sign of a smirk against his lips, he knows he has me scared shit less. I'd be willing to do anything he wants if it meant to live. I guess I've been thinking for to long as I didn't even notice that I was floor huddled in a corner, screaming for help. I can taste the blood, I can feel it trickling down from my lip to my chin. I can see myself in his eyes I'm shaking, and look like a scared child. He smirks has he adds salt to the wound and begins to mimic my father's voice still blaring from my room. He kicks me while I'm down probably breaking a rib or two the sound of bones crunching can not be mistaken for anything else.

He laughs that evil laugh like just discovered how to take over the world. The laughs you hear in the horror movies, or the ones you would hear coming a spider man villain. 'Crawl on me sink into me die for me living dead girl Blood on her skin dripping with sin do it again living dead girl.' How convenient for him to call, right now, at this exact moment. Then I wondered what the fuck this man was doing with my Mom's phone. 'Crawl on me sink into me die for me living dead girl, blood on her skin dripping with sin do it again living dead girl.' Her phone rang again her ring tone expressed just how I felt, I'm a dead on the inside, living on the outside.

"Your Daddy's calling, you better answer it." He threw the phone at me, and began to laugh that manic laugh again.