Making Hits for Your Heart

Jamison was in Nashville, at the house she and Brendan had shared together for when bands would come record in the home studio next door. She was with Jake lounging in the living room after finishing another day in the recording at Butch’s other studio.

“Jake, what am I to you?” Jamison asked, as she had her legs sprawled across Jake’s lap while he was drinking Jameson out of the bottle while they were watching Moonrise Kingdom together.

He looked at her in perplexed before answering, “My favorite Song, one of my best friends, partner in crime, the heart to my brain in the studio… a bunch of other things. Why the sudden with a question like that?” He asked curiously. “Are you feeling down? Do you need a compliment sandwich, with some compliment fillings?” He said teasingly giving her arm a comforting squeeze as his words caused Jamison to roll her eyes and smile.

“No, not that just…” She shook her head, “I am used to hearing things like this from people, not, ‘I like you’…” She mused getting lost in her own train of thought.

“John confessed to you?” Jake asked, without missing a beat.

She looked at him completely baffled, “How did you know?”

“Butch filled me on the deets about you and John.” He answered with a smirk, “I assume he’s the only guy whose sights are on you, that we obviously know of.”

“Do you guys have conversations about my non-existent love life when I’m not around?” She asked looking completely perplexed by how the whole conversation was unfolding.

“We have a lot of conversations about you in general, which include topics about your alleged non-existent love life.” He chuckled, taking another sip of Jameson out of the bottle.

Jamison had given him a completely dumbfounded look; “Well… this is news.” she took the bottle of Jamison from Jake’s hands and took a sip of it.

“It shouldn’t be… you are an extremely vital part of our lives. Plus, gossip about Jamison Song is a communal thing.” He teased, “So, what did you say?”

“He emailed me on how he felt… I just said I’d fly out for the last show. I don’t know I feel like some kind of talk needs to be in order.” She shrugged handing back the bottle to him as he took a sip from it.

“There’s that and… you know, expressing your own feelings and sentiments…”

“There’s that too…” She chuckled sheepishly, “So, how do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You’ve been with Liv for 5 years… how do you exactly be in a relationship?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.” He said with a chuckle. “You just take that leap.”

“How do you do that without being scared shitless? About repercussions or things like that…” She said with a mixture of worry and fear.

“When you take as much fear as you can out of the equation then just take a leap of faith with eyes closed. It’s not as scary.”

“I don’t know why I am this way… I mean I don’t have problems with maintaining relationships.” Jamison said, gesturing her hand back and forth between her and Jake.

“Sometimes, I think you’re satisfied with what you have and you’re just afraid if you experience something better, you won’t be able to go back to the way things were…” Jake stated, looking at her wondering if she would admit to what he had just said.

“You know me too well.” She laughed.

“You are my favorite Song.” He smiled proudly.

“You are my favorite Sin…”

“I think if you keep looking at when things will end you’ll never get to enjoy what could be—the in between stuff.” He said, “And everything in between is the part that could be never ending.”

“I forgot… you’re sometimes smart.”

“I am a genius sometimes… I scare myself.” He said in mock pride, “Have a drink…” he passed her the bottle of Jameson as she grabbed it and took a sip of it.

“Dude, can’t you drink out of a glass like a civilized person?” She said, handing him back the bottle.

“It taste better this way, it’s like those Chinese takeout boxes. It just tastes better from the bottle.” He tried to justify, “You don’t want my germs?” he asked teasingly causing Jamison to roll her eyes.

“You are stupid, I don’t know why I love you.”

“That is why I am your favorite Sin.” He teased, “As cliché as it is… I think clichés are clichés for a reason but I really just want to see you happy. I know you’re happy now but I want to see you reach all the happiness life has to offer you. You deserve it all…”

“Thanks Jake…” Jamison said, completely warmed by his words.

“When you go to see him just act like things are the way they are, let John lead how it’ll all go and from there… you take the leap or you don’t.” He told her as Jamison took in all his words to heart.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again Jake.”

“Of course.” He smiled, “Now, we’re going to finish this bottle of Jameson and then go to the studio tomorrow morning and kill it.”

Jamison chuckled shaking her head, “We always do…”

------------

Jared and Pat had gone to pick up Jamison from the airport. When she got to the venue she was happily greeted with open arms from everyone on the 8123 tour and friends who would be joining the event tonight. John and Jamison had interacted like John had never sent the email to her and just as they were. Which John kept debating if he had shot himself in the foot for pretending to act like nothing had changed when it had. He threw the thought in the back of his mind and reminded himself to do something about it after the tour was officially over tonight.

The last show of the 8123 tour and the night has been nothing short of amazing—filled with energy from the crowd and bands. Each set seemed to hake their own sound and flair. Jamison stood side stage besides Eric and Justin, as everyone was slowly getting ready to get up on stage for the last half of “We’ll All Be”.

“So thank you to everyone who helped make this the best summer ever. This is our last song and y’all behave yourselves, keep each other safe. We’ll see you when we’re looking at you.” John said into his microphone as the intro to “We’ll All Be” began.

Justin began mouthing alone to the words as he began strapping on his acoustic guitar. “You ready for the last final hurrah?” He asked Jamison, as Eric threw his arm around her shoulder.

“As ready as I can be.” She said, as it was almost their cue to go on stage.

“Let’s do this shit!” Eric yelled; as he began running on stage with his tambourine before it was even time to do so. Everyone laughed as they watched Eric dancing on stage with John.

“We want to invite some friends up on stage here—Brighten, This Century, A Rocket to the Moon, our crew, and… Ms. Jamison Song.” John said, as he looked over to the side stage gesturing for everyone to come out.

Jamison and everyone of the 8123 tour started walking on stage some of them with various instruments and others with just their dancing shoes. As they all started jamming to the instrumental solo in the middle of the song. Pat was back of the stage behind everyone on a drum riser while Sean, Kennedy, and Justin were jamming on one side of the stage with Andrew and Ryan, Jamison, Jared, Garrett on the other side with Eric. Finally there was Nick, Joel, and John front and center of the stage signing their respective verses for the collaboration.

John watched Jamison singing along with Eric who was playing the tambourine with such passion it had made him laugh. He began singing the final lines with everyone, marking the end of one of the most memorable tours in his career.

We all have been degraded
We all will be the greatest

Eric took the microphone from John. “Potato. Potato. Potato.” he chanted, causing a chain reaction in the room as everyone began chanting along.

“Best tour ever. Best tour ever. Best tour ever.” Sean yelled into Kennedy’s microphone as everyone now began to chant to Sean’s mantra.

“Thank you guys for being apart of the 8123 tour, we’ll see you later!” John said, into his microphone as everyone began playing the final notes to their outro.

Everyone gathered around on stage and went into a big group hug before Joel, John, and Nick began throwing picks to people in the crowd followed by Andrew and Pat flinging their drumsticks.

After meeting with the fans and loading out, everyone had headed to the 8123 offices for a celebratory drink before heading their respective ways.

John looked around the offices to find Jamison giving hugs to Kennedy and Garrett. “You ready to head home? Eric is heading up to California tonight with Justin, Andrew, Nick, and Peter, so it’s just us…” He asked Jamison as he walked up beside her. Neither noticing the mischievous looks that Garrett and Kennedy were giving one another.

“Sure.” Jamison said,

“Tim is gonna drop us off.” John said, pointing over to Tim who was by the exit.

Jamison turned to Garrett and Kennedy. “I shall see you guys sometime this week before I go?” She asked hopefully, giving a final hug to both of them.

“Of course.” Kennedy said, with a smile.

Jamison and John had said their final goodbyes to everyone before making it to Tim.

“Jamison, I put your stuff in my car already.” Tim said, “You guys ready to go?” he gestured to the doors that lead to the parking lot.

“Yeah.” John said with the nod as they began walking to the parking lot.

“Let’s get out of here.” Tim said,

The ride to John’s was filled with stories from past tours as Tim and John would tell Jamison stories as well as reenact a few for her entertainment. She had slowly learned all the ups and downs the guys went through to get exactly where they were now and they had deserved every bit of success.

“Thanks for the ride man.” John said, as he took out Jamison and his things from the trunk of Tim’s car.

“No problem.” Tim said, giving John a hug. “Thanks for coming out Jae, it means a lot.” He smiled, giving her a hug as well.

“8123 for life.” Jamison teased, as Tim playfully punched her shoulder.

“You hurt me when you say that cause you won’t sign with us.” Tim said, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

Jamison laughed, “My loyalty and heart goes with Jonathan, but in my mind I’m with 8123.” She told him in a teasing optimistic way.

Tim pointed his finger at her before cocking his eyebrow and giving her a pseudo stern look. “We’ll poach you one day.”

“I do bring in the money…” She joked, causing everyone to laugh.

“I’ll see you guys later.” Tim said, before giving a final wave and heading back to his car.

Jamison and John began walking towards John’s house and into it. John began turning the lights on and the two dropped their respective luggage in the living room before crashing onto the couch.

“So, how much do you rake in exactly?” John asked,

“Enough.” She said casually, “More than enough.”

“How much?” He asked. Jamison whispered the answer into his ear causing his eyes to widen completely baffled by what he had just heard. “Really?!” He looked at her completely surprised.

“Give or take…” She shrugged nonchalantly. “But roughly. This is why I said Halvo could have been my trophy husband.” She laughed, propping her arm onto the armrest.

“I’ll be your trophy husband, wow…” John joked, chuckling as he was still completely stunned by her response.

“It’s the royalties, publishing, and thing like that—it adds up. I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years.” Jamison rationalized.

“Why are you still working?” He asked jokingly causing Jamison to laugh.

“I love my job, just because I make that much money doesn’t mean I want to waste away my days. It’s nice, I get the luxury of doing things like being able to take time off and visit friends, supporting my eating habits, and stuff…” She explained, “And I have ‘fuck you’ money.”

He looked at her completely amused, “What is ‘fuck you’ money exactly?”

“’Fuck you’ money is when you are financially stable enough to turn down jobs or quit jobs with bad people or getting fired by shitty people… it’s basically just a way to say ‘Fuck you, I don’t need your money. I have my own.’ to people who think they are better than you because they have power or money.” She explained with a chuckle.

“Interesting.” John smirked holding back a laugh, completely amused by her reasoning.

“I’ve done it before.”

“Really?”

“I have.” She said in a satisfied manner.

“No one messes with Jamison Song…” John said, teasingly as he playfully slapped her shoulder.

“Or my friends…” She told him as he shook his head in agreement.

“You are fiercely loyal. That’s really admirable.”

She shrugged casually, “I try.”

“You do it well…”

“That’s a good thing to know about myself.”

John let out a content sigh before sinking into the couch a bit more. “I just realized tour is officially over—I am back to bum status again.” He said letting out a sheepish chuckle.

“So, how are you feeling now that tour is over?” Jamison asked, as she looked over at John who had closed his eyes for a moment seemingly lost in his thoughts.

John opened his eyes and looked over at Jamison who had her undivided attention on him. “Weird… but it was the best summer ever.” He said letting out a happy sigh.

“I’m glad.”

“Thanks for coming out for so many dates… and making it out to the last show.” He said, giving her a thankful smile.

“Of course, how could I deny all the hunks of 8123?” She joked, causing both of them to laugh.

“But I’m the best, right?” He joked.

Jamison scrunched up her face like a 5-year-old eating sprouts. “Sure?” She said, not sounding completely convincing causing John to let out a scoff.

“I’m your favorite, admit it.” He said trying to coax her to agree with him.

She made the same face again, “Kind of?”

“Who has outranked me?”

“This is in no particular order but… there’s Garrett, Jared, Pat, Kennedy, Halvo, Joel, Ryan, Alex, Sean, Nick, Andrew, Justin, Peter—“

“You are such a fucking liar, I am not last…” John said slapping her on the shoulder while both of them began to laugh in hysterics. As the laughter began to die down John looked over at Jamison and felt a sudden surge of confidence or something that felt like confidence go through his body. “So, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile…” He began, shifting the mood into a somewhat serious atmosphere.

“This could be either a good thing or something horrible.” She teased, trying to keep the mood light not knowing if this was the time they would have a talk of some sort.

“I want to take you out… on a date.” John asked, knowing that they both knew what that implied now between them ever since John’s confession a week before.

There was a moment of semi-awkward silence before Jamison answered, “Alright…” as she shook her head. John let out a massive internal sigh of relief.

“Yes?” He asked, wanting to clarify what he had heard.

“Yes.” She shook her head clarifying her answer.

“Yeah?” John smiled, asking one more time with the most hopeful look on his face that he had heard her correctly.

She smiled back at him while holding back a chuckle. “Yeah.”

“It’s going to be an all day thing but dress code is 90’s grunge.” He joked, as the mood went back to upbeat.

Jamison laughed, “You already planned this out?”

“Yeah… I did.” He admitted. “I was hoping you would say yes.” He said, giving her a sheepish smile.

“What if I had said no?” She asked, curiously.

“I don’t know… didn’t think about that.” He confessed, scratching the back of his head. “I was all about the positivity.”

“Positivity.” She repeated, giving him a smile.

The next morning Jamison woke up to the sun shining through the window of Halvo’s bedroom. She got out of bed and went into the kitchen to see John in a t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts making food.

“Good morning sunshine.” John mumbled giving Jamison a lazy smile as she took a seat at the breakfast bar.

“Says the person with sleepy eyes.” She teased, propping her elbows on the table while watching John plating food.

“My eyes aren’t used to the bright lights, I don’t get natural sunlight in my room… unlike Halvo.” He teased.

“You live in a garage… you have the biggest window of all, just open the garage door.”

John began laughing hysterically. “You’re a genius and terrible at the same time.”

“I try.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

“I made you brunch, then we’re going to watch ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ before we go onto the second part of this date.” John said presenting her with a plate filled with scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon.

“A man after my own heart…” She said sarcastically as John handed a few utensils and took a seat beside her. “How did you map this date out exactly?”

“Thought this out based on your preferences and personality… mixed in with a few surprises. Hopefully, you like it.” He smirked before digging into his own plate of food.

“I’m not complaining so far…” She said, “You do make good scrambled eggs.” She looked at him completely impressed before giving him an approving smile.

“Thank you.” He said proudly as he watched her happily eat the food he had made.

The two spent the morning watching “This Is Spinal Tap” both reciting the iconic lines from the cult classic and mindlessly enjoying the movie. After the movie was over, the two got dressed to go out for a late lunch at one of John’s favorite diners.

“You ready?” John asked, as he put on his jacket and grabbing his keys and wallet.

“Yeah.” Jamison said, putting on her cardigan and shoes.

The two drove to the diner in a comfortable silence with T.Rex blasting through the speakers and the Arizona sun shining upon them. They walked into the diner and took a seat in one of the back booths as they perused the menu debating on what to order. After figuring out what to order, they had called their waitress over and ordered.

“So, tell me something about you that would surprise me…” John asked, as he watched Jamison intently.

“I don’t know…” She shrugged. “What would surprise you about me?” She put her elbows on the table and cupped her chin.

“Tell me something that a lot of people don’t know about you…” He smiled, feeling a bit excited to possible learn more about the elusive Jamison Song.

“I have absolute pitch and relative pitch.” She said.

“Really?” John said completely amazed by her confession.

“The only two instruments I really know how to play on an acceptable level are the piano and drums. I can’t play a string instrument to save my life.”

“Interesting.” He laughed at the latter confession.

“What about you?” She asked looking at with a curious smile.

“What about me?”

“Something not a lot of people know about you…” She reiterated his question.

John thought for a moment before a smirk came upon his face. “I have an inhaler but I smoke… I should know better.” He answered with a sheepish chuckle.

“You’re trying to quit, right?” She said, as she noticed recently the minimal amount of cigarettes he had been smoking.

“Attempting to.” He said, “I don’t know if you noticed.”

“I have. Good for you.” Jamison said giving him an encouraging smile.

“Thank you.” John smiled back feeling proud of himself.

Their waitress had come back with their orders as they ate while conversing about random topics.

“The fact you can eat all that in one sitting is somewhat alarming.” John teased as he stared at the plate of food in front of Jamison—home fries, mac and cheese, and half a sandwich.

“You did say to eat up for the next activity you had planned.” She pointed at him. “Plus, just maybe this is a sign I might get my growth spurt now.” She joked, as she took a sip of her orange juice.

“Dream on…” John laughed, as he was digging into his potpie.

“I will…” She said, completely unfazed by John’s comeback causing him to laugh even more.

“I’m curious. If you weren’t doing music, what would you be doing?”

“Being a bum…” She answered with a sheepish chuckle but seeming serious with her answer.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I have no other viable talents.”

“You cook well.” He offered, as she chuckled at his attempt to build her up.

“I enjoy it as a hobby, I don’t think I could handle the heat in the kitchen.” She chuckled. “What about you?”

“I don’t know… I attempted a semester of business at ASU. Totally was flunking out. Probably would have changed my major to English or something elitist and pretentious, cause I am.” He said sarcastically at the latter half of his statement with a chuckle. “I could have also be a bum, an artistic one.”

“Somehow we would have met each other…” Jamison laughed, as John looked at her completely captivated before laughing at her comment.

After lunch the two got into John’s truck as he drove them to an undisclosed location that ended up being a tattoo parlor. John pulled up into the parking lot casually as he began undoing his seatbelt.

“We’re here.” John announced as Jamison looked around her surroundings.

“What are we doing here?” She asked, looking completely confused by where they were.

“You’re getting a tattoo today.” John casually declared causing Jamison to look at him completely baffled.

“Say what?” She said, wondering if she had heard the words John had said correctly or if she was hearing things.

“You’re getting a tattoo today…”

“Dude, I don’t even have my ears pierced…” She began to panic, “Also, how am I supposed to decide what to get in like no time at all? Without thinking about it…”

“You must have had something in mind for awhile… now is your time to seize the moment. Carpe diem that shit… you can do it. I’ll be with you the entire time.” John reassured her putting his hand upon her encouragingly.

Jamison just stared at John for a moment without saying a word, looking like she was having an internal conversation with herself. “Let’s go…” She began opening the door.

The two walked into the parlor to see a burly man in his 40’s with a massive amount of tattoos all over his visible body parts as well as a matching massive beard. He walked over to John and Jamison with a smirk upon his face before giving John a hug.

“John. I see you brought my next victim with you.” The man said, looking at Jamison with a grin.

“As promised… this is Jamison.” John introduced, gesturing over at Jamison who stood next to him. “This is Joe. He is my hometown tattoo artist… for a better lack of term.”

“Nice to meet you.” Joe said, as he let out his hand for Jamison to shake.

She accepted his hand and smiled, “Same here.”

“Be gentle with her…” John joked. “You’re her first.” He punched her arm playfully causing her to sheepishly chuckle and look at the floor.

“I will.” Joe said, reassuringly to John.

“This all makes sense now.” Jamison said, looking over at John. “All that food we ate was to prepare me for this…” She pointed at him in an accusing manner.

“Guilty.” John said, putting up his hands in surrender.

Joe laughed at the two and their banter. “Anything for you today John?” He asked, looking at John.

“Nope, I’m good. Take care of Jamie here.” John said, putting his arm around Jamison’s shoulder before giving it a pat.

“What did you have in mind?” Joe asked, looking at Jamison who took out her phone and was going through it.

Jamison dug through her phone gallery for a bit before finding what she needed. “Can I get something like this?” She asked, handing Joe her phone.

“Oh… nice.” Joe said, “Where did you want it?” he took a quick once over at her.

“Side of my wrist is fine. About the size of a nickel.” She said putting up her right arm and pointing at the spot on her wrist where she wanted her perspective tattoo.

“Let me just draw this up and I’ll be back with you.” Joe said, indicating he would be taking her phone over to his workstation before walking off.

“What are you getting?” John asked, as he took a seat in the spare chair next to the tattoo bench.

“Anchor with a treble clef incorporated into it.” She described. “I had to make the first one a music related one… and I’m sure you get the symbolic meaning behind it.”

“Interesting choice. I like it.” John said approvingly.

Joe had come back and began imprinting Jamison’s tattoo onto her wrist. With her free hand Jamison grabbed John’s hand the entire time closing her eyes every once in awhile worrying about the pain as John stayed beside her for moral support. After Joe was done, he had held up a mirror for Jamison to see the completed tattoo as well as giving her tips on maintaining and aftercare for her new tattoo.

“Thank you.” Jamison said, as she shook her arm a bit from it being numb from immobility.

“What’s the damage Joe?” John said, taking out his wallet.

“This one is on the house—you are quite loyal to me.” Joe said, patting John on the back giving him a knowing smile.

“I’ll be back soon.” John reassured him, giving him a thankful look as he put his wallet back into his pocket.

Joe chuckled and gave John a mock salute. “I’ll be here.” He said, before turning his gaze over to Jamison. “I hope to see you again, we’re now bonded.” He pulled her into a hug.

“For sure.” She said embracing him. “Thanks Joe.”

The two walked out back into the parking lot to John’s car.

“So, do you hate me?” John asked, wondering if he had maybe pushed his limits with what he had planned for her.

Jamison shook her head and gave him a small smile as she stared at her wrist. “45 minutes of mild pain… worth it.” She looked over at John to let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“I’m glad.” He said, as he put on his seatbelt and started his car. “We’re onto our next journey…”

A short drive later they ended up at Crescent Ballroom to see a line of kids no older than the age of 16 waiting for the venue doors to open.

“So, what are we doing here?” Jamison asked, as they stood in line probably being the oldest people there.

“There is some local battle of the bands thing happening.” John explained, “I haven’t been to a local show since maybe high school… or maybe even middle school, I thought it’d be fun. You know, with our appreciation for live music. We might find our new favorite band tonight.” He said jokingly, with a laugh.

“This could either be great or horrible…” She chuckled, imagining the possible scenarios of what could happen when the show began.

“You never know…”

After waiting in line and entering the venue Jamison and John stood in middle of the crowd waiting for the show to begin. And after back-to-back sets of two local high school bands that played in a metalcore rap band, the next band was setting up. John and Jamison stood there in silence before looking at one another and bursting out into laughter.

“This is bad…” Jamison said, shaking her head in disbelief at what she just saw and heard.

“Real bad.” John said, burying his hands in his face due to some secondhand embarrassment. “Let’s go get dinner or something. We deserve it after sitting through those sets.” He suggested, as he grabbed her hand and began weaving out of the crowd.

“We do.” She said, following John to the parking lot.

“Burgers?” He said, opening the car door for her as she got in.

“I can never turndown a burger.” She smiled.

After heading to In-N-Out’s drive-thru, John had driven them to remote location to some mountain. The night sky was dark and filled with lots of bright shining stars.

“Come on.” John said, grabbing their food and getting out of the car as Jamison followed.

“What is this place?” She asked, as John opened the back of his trunk and sat on it patting the empty spot next to him.

He took out their food and handed Jamison her respective items, “I come here sometimes when I go out for a drive to clear my head or just cause.” He replied, as he took a bite of his burger looking up at the sky.

“It’s nice.” She mused, looking up at the sky.

“Reminds me how small I am compared to the world…” He said. “In the best way possible—keeps me humble.”

“That’s good.” She took a bite of her burger, nodding her head to his words.

He looked up at the night sky unpolluted by big city lights. “The nice thing about Arizona is you get to see the stars shine at night.”

“I used to think stars were ultimately enclosed in darkness trying to get out.” Jamison said, looking over at John who gave her a puzzled expression by her semi-pessimistic remark.

“Has your perception changed?” He asked, before shoving a few fries into his mouth.

“Yeah, I realized they wouldn’t shine as bright if they were.” She said with a smile, while taking a sip of her lemonade.

“Positivity.” He said, giving her small smile.

“Not enough of it lately… especially with our generation.”

“So true.” He agreed.

“You know, I’ve realized thanks to you I’ve done a lot of things people have only attempted to get me to do. You’ve been the only successful one to get me to do them.” She looked at him with an amused expression. “You sneaky bastard.”

“Or maybe, it’s cause I’m special.” John affirmed, with a proud grin on his face.

“Or persistent.”

“Or really special…” He persisted, as she laughed.

“You’re special.” Jamison said, giving in as John laughed.

After eating and talking about everything and nothing, the two drove back to John’s house while listening to Tom Waits without a word and just enjoying their comfortable silence.

“Home sweet home.” John said, walking into the kitchen and taking out a bottle of scotch he had saved for rare occasions and placing on the kitchen island.

“Thanks for today… it was a lot of fun.” Jamison said, as she leaned into the kitchen island.

“I’m glad.” He smiled, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard and placing them on the island counter. “Nightcap?” He picked up the bottle of scotch and offered to her.

"I'm always down to damage my liver a little more as the days go by.” She joked, as John laughed before unscrewing the bottle.

John smiled as stood beside her and he poured 3 fingers worth of scotch in each glass before handing one over to Jamison. She clinked hers against his before she brought it to her lips. John watched her as he sipped his own drink.

“So," she said. "How does John O’Callaghan end a date? Surely you don't invite every woman to come and sleep in your bed." She joked giving him a smirk, “I mean there are bad dates for a reason, right?”

"True." He replied with a smile. "Well, that depends entirely on how the date went.”

“Let's say it went really bad”

“Really bad?" he repeated. "Really bad. Ok. Well, then I would drop the girl off at her house and stay in the car to make sure she got inside okay, and then burn rubber down her street to get the hell out of there."

"How about if it went... relatively well?" She took a sip of her whiskey.

"If it went relatively well, I would see her to her front door and give her a chaste peck on the cheek goodnight, if it felt right…"

“Phone call the next day?" She added.

“Maybe… depends.” He smiled thinking about the possible scenarios in his head.

“Okay, the date went really, really well…”

“Depending on the situation, I would kiss her—closed mouth and promise her a phone call.” He said, “Call me old-fashion but I won’t sleep with someone on the first date. If that was my intention, I’d be whoring myself out to people not even bothering to get through an entire date.” He explained, as he gave his drink a swirl.

She shook her head. “I can see what you mean and respect that…”

“What about you?” He asked, “How does Jamison Song end a date?” giving her a smirk before taking a drink from his glass.

“That would imply I’ve been on enough to kind of have a system going… which isn’t the case.” She admitted letting out a sheepish chuckle.

“Well, this is your chance to make one up now.” He offered. “Let’s say it went bad…”

“Thank the person for the nice evening and end it there. No follow-up or hope of furthering the conversation from there.” She answered, as she squinted her eyes thinking about her answers.

“It went relatively well…” He smiled finding her reaction to be endearing.

“Hug?” She chuckled, giving him a shrug. “I don’t know… this is hard.” She admitted.

“It went really really well…” He continued to ask, while taking another sip of his drink.

“Depending on the situation… kiss? But for sure a promise for a phone call.” She said, only sounding confident with her latter half of her answer.

“Well now, you have a system… kind of.” He announced with a laugh.

Jamison took a sip of her drink before stifling a laugh at John’s statement. “Thanks for that… ”

“So, how was this date?” He asked, wondering what category he would fall under and if he would possibly be getting a follow up phone call of sorts.

“Honestly, I can’t even say this was a date… who takes their first date to a tattoo parlor with a burly man named Joe doing your tattoo and a metalcore rap show?” She said jokingly causing John to laugh.

“You have to admit, Joe does have a light touch…” He refuted with a grin, “And the metalcore show was good for laughs. Admit it.”

“Touché John.” She agreed, chuckling at his response as she set her drink down and stared at it for a moment before she felt John’s eyes on her. “Why are you looking at me like that? She asked, completely taken back by John’s intense gaze upon her.

“Like what?” John asked, as his gaze was fixed on Jamison. He set his drink down and gave her his complete attention.

“Your eyes are like just… I don’t even know.” She nervously chuckled, staring at her drink for a moment. “You’re giving me an intense look with your eyes—like lazers...” She tried to lighten the mood.

John made Jamison face him as he took her hands and carefully looked at her before taking an internal deep breath and taking a leap with his words. Maybe it was the scotch or some weird surge of adrenaline but he felt all his feelings come out into forms of words. “I don’t think I ever looked at you with my eyes—I know that sounds weird but… I never looked at you and had an initial feeling or attraction or thought anything of you. I just saw your spirit… and somehow all this time, I think I’ve been looking at you with my soul and into yours. I don’t care if that is cheesy and if you don’t get it, but I do. What we have now… it works because of the effort we put in and how much we care about it other, not because I saw you with my eyes and wanted to get in your pants. It works because it was two people talking honestly and opening their hearts—wounds and all… without judgment or anything and creating band aids together. For that, I am so thankful that you’re in my life. I’m glad I never looked at you with my eyes…”

“You know how to make a girl speechless…” She said nervously as her gaze went to everywhere else in the room but John.

“There’s that whole ‘I don’t want to ruin this friendship’ aspect to all this but at the same time… I never felt we were neither friends nor more than that to begin with. You met at a strange time in my life… and you were in your own category of sorts. So, this is me asking you, to take a chance on a boy who is ready and willing to see where this might go. I know you’re scared and I know you aren’t really looking for a relationship cause of work… but here’s the thing, I know your shit, you know mine. You get my lifestyle because you live it too. So, I am asking if we can be a team…” He proposed, not once averting his gaze elsewhere.

“John…”

“I don’t need an answer right this minute. Think about it. I think we can make each other happier than we are now. I really do.” He said in an earnest and honest manner with a look in his eyes matched the words he had just said.

“I think I’m going to be bad at all this… I know nothing about relationships beyond friendships and business ones…” Jamison said as she began to ramble.

“That doesn’t matter to me…”

“It should—I don’t know how to interact with people in any other capacity… it’s not even about experience of how many relationships you’ve been in vs. me or anything like that. It’s me honestly not knowing what to do or how to react.” She reasoned, as John knew she would try to convince him otherwise.

“It’ll be the same as now, only with more benefits…” He countered, trying to assure her and convince her otherwise.

She looked at him completely perplexed, “Like what?”

“This.” John grabbed her slightly by the hips and pulled her in for a kiss. It wasn’t a kissed filled with passion or excitement. Just one filled with his genuine feelings and hope for what could be. John pulled back to see Jamison completely frozen and staring at him wide eyed thrown off by what he had just done.

“John…”

He chuckled a bit at her speechlessness. “Not that I don’t like hearing you say my name, but you have to say something other than my name.” He pleaded.

“What the hell is happening?” She said out loud, not asking anyone in particular causing John to grab her by the shoulders and shake her to focus back on him.

“Do you feel anything for me? Cause if you don’t… I can forget I even said anything and we can just be friends. I can do that…” John offered, now doubting and wondering if he had opened a can of worms as he internally panicked.

“John…” She began, before taking a deep breath and collecting her thoughts. “You are… there are no words for you. You’re kind, weird, funny, smart, good-looking, talented, and any other adjective that relates to the word “amazing”. I am so thankful you came into my life, that you let me in… out of all the friendships I have made with bands over the years through the studio—yours meant a lot to me. There was always something about yours I wanted to make an extra effort for. I don’t know what to say besides… I do like you. That is true. But if we’re going to give this a try, I really need you to be patient with me and just know I’m jumping into this with eyes closed. So please just guide me a bit through this whole thing… I’m going to put my faith in you.”

“So, we’re going to give this a try?” John said, looking at her in complete disbelief wondering if everything he heard was real or if it was just a really awesome dream.

“Yeah, let’s give it a try.” Jamison shook her head and gave him a smile. Letting out an internal sigh of relief that had been held back for what seemed like weeks.

John pulled Jamison into a hug as he felt his heart swell up a bit by what just happened. “I’m going to try my best to make what we have now… even better.” He promised gathering every ounce of honest and sincere feeling in his body hoping she could feel it through his embrace.