Making Hits for Your Heart

November 2013

There were only 3 more shows left before The Maine and Anberlin co-headling tour was done. It had been one of the most comfortable tours the band had been on from the relationship amongst all the bands and crew to meeting with the fans after the show. Tonight had been a special night on tour for them— The Maine would be playing with Taking Back Sunday. Something they hadn’t done since 2011.

“Hey, nice to see you again man.” Eddie (Reyes) said, coming up to John who was making himself tea by the catering table.

“Good seeing you again too. Thanks for adding us onto the show. Always a pleasure and hour.” John said genuinely excited, he had grown up listening to Taking Back Sunday and to play with them (again) felt like some weird fantasy daydream he used to have as a kid come to life.

“No, the pleasure is all ours.” Eddie smiled. “We were all talking about it and we thought why don’t you join us on stage and sing “Timberwolves at New Jersey”?” He offered causing John’s face to falter in complete shock.

“Seriously?” John asked, wondering if he had heard correctly. This must have been a dream.

“We’d be so stoked if you did…”

“Of course.” He answered, without any hesitation letting out a speechless chuckle as Eddie gave him another smile.

“Did my ears just deceive me?” A familiar voice said from behind John. He turned to see Jamison and smiled. “John O’Cracker is singing with Taking Back Sunday?” She teased, as she went up to give him a hug.

“Jamie! What are you doing here?” John said, completely surprised as he embraced her happily.

“I liked the lineup too much, I couldn’t miss it…” She said, with a smile causing John to laugh.

“Jamison.” Eddie said, opening his arms out to her.

“Eddie.” Jamison said with a smiled as she walked up to him and hugged him.

“Jamison!” A pair of voices yelled as John and Jamison turned around to see Spencer (of Underoath), who was filling in for Adam while he was away on paternity leave, and Mark.

“Spencer! Mark!” Jamison yelled happily as the two ran up to her and gave her a hug.

“We heard you were dating this dude… we didn’t believe it. But now… I do.” Mark teased, as he looked at Jamison and John who stood next to each other with John’s arm around her shoulder.

“I am a girl, despite the rumors.” She joked, causing everyone to laugh.

“You’re asexual in my head.” Spencer admitted, with a laugh as Mark shook his head in agreement.

“In my head too…” Mark said, with a smirk.

“I am… in my own head. Sometimes… I don’t know anymore.” Jamison admitted, with a laugh. “Man, you fucked up with the asexual vibes.” She looked at John and playfully punched his shoulder.

“I’m sorry?” John said, sounding unsure how to react to her comment causing him and everyone else to laugh.

“So, how are you? It’s been awhile…” Spencer asked Jamison, as

“I’m good. How are you guys?”

“Good.”

“It’s our little Jamison.” Stephen said, as he and the rest of Anberlin walking up to the ever growing group and embrace Jamison.

“Anberhunks.” Jamison said, with a laugh giving each of the guys a hug.

“We were hoping to see more of your face on this tour. But look at you being a good girlfriend and supporting your boyfriend.” Nathan said, teasingly as he looked over at John with a smile.

“I came here for you guys… and Taking Back Sunday.” Jamison said in mock whisper causing everyone to laugh.

“Ouch.” John said, with a laugh while clutching his chest.

“I’m joking… I love all the bands here equally.” Jamison said, as John put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer into his embrace.

“Is there a must hear song tonight Jae? We’re trying to just do a improv set since we only have 40 minutes.” Deon asked.

“I will jam along to anything by the Anberhunks.” Jamison said, with a laugh.

“I think I’ve got a song in mind to play… it’s one of your favorites.” Christian said, eyeing the other members who seemed to have read his mind and nodded in agreement. “You’ll enjoy it.”

After catching up a bit more with the guys of Taking Back Sunday and Anberlin, it was time for the show to begin. The members of Anberlin had done their usual prayer before the show. They had lined up and as their intro music began, each member began giving Jamison a high five as well as receiving an affectionate pat on the butt before walking out onto the stage.

“Have a good show guys…” Jamison called out, as Deon gave her a thumbs up while strapping on his guitar.

“Always.” Nathan said with a smile, as he was the last one to run on stage.

“You guys are like a football team with that kind of send off…” John said, teasingly as he gave her a smirk.

“Jealous?” She asked, giving him a smile.

“So jealous.” He jokingly said, as he pulled her in for a side hug.

The various members of The Maine and Taking Back Sunday were watching and supporting Anberlin’s set from side stage enjoying the consistent and awesome show they had always been known for.

“So, we haven’t played this song in ages but our good friend Jamison is here and this one is a favorite of hers and I think it fits how she’s doing lately. So we decided to play it. Hopefully, we don't mess it up.” Stephen chuckled. “This one is called ‘Time & Confusion” if you know the words sing along.”

John looked over at Jamison who was singing along to every word at the top of her lungs with a smile and cheering on her friends. Despite working with musicians day in and day out, she had the passion of a person falling in love with music for the first time that was something that was so rare for him to see especially amongst his group of friends. He was so charmed by the fact that she was such a genuine fan of music in every aspect. It helped him appreciate it more, he knew he was guilty at times of not appreciating music to it’s fullest due to his job.

We fell on hard times, this isn't the ideal
With miles from home, doing the best that we can
I won't do this without you
I won't do this without you so take heart
'Cause you know that you have mine

After Anberlin’s set, The Maine and crew had set up for their set and did their ritual “we like to party” huddle. Before waiting for their intro music to walk on stage. The intro music had began filling the speakers everyone had given their salutes to Jamison before going up on stage. John being the last, he had given her a quick peck on the cheek before but he began to walk onto the stage he had felt a firm spank on his rear. He turned around in surprise to see Jamison stifling a laugh.

“So you don’t feel left out.” She smirked. “Have a good show.” John walked onto stage laughing as Garrett shot him a smirk before adjusting his microphone.

The set had been going smoothly. John took a sip of his water before he and Garrett began bantering with the crowd about nonsense that didn’t make any sense but was somehow hilarious.

“So, this next one is an old one. It’s called, “Everything I Ask For” if you know the words sing along.” John said into his microphone.

John began singing and would look over at Jamison every so often as he sang and tried to hold back a grin. For some reason he now felt he could sing the song with a certain kind of conviction.

I don't know what she sees in me
But I'm happy that she's happy now that she's with me
And I'm freaking out because I'm just so lucky

Following The Maine’s set and a few songs into Taking Back Sunday’s set it was now John’s turn to go on stage and sing with the band he had grown up listening to. He nervously kept pacing around as he felt his heart jump into his throat.

“I’m going to go watch at FOH with Tim, Pat, and Garrett…” Jamison said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. You’re going to do great.”

“I hope so.” He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair.

“Breathe.” She chuckled, before kissing his cheek and leaving.

“Hey everybody, this is our friend John from The Maine. And he’s going to sing this next song with us. It’s called “Timberwolves at New Jersey”” John Nolan said, into his microphone.

John nervously walked on stage and grabbed the microphone as he took internal deep breaths hoping his nerves wouldn’t get the best of him. The intro began playing and John began to sing. He had been doing okay; missing a few beats, stumbling on his words, and wondering if he should just run off stage.

“Help me out here…” He said sheepishly into the microphone to no one in particular, just feeling his nerves get to him.

This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue
And my eye on the scope down the barrel of a gun

Spencer ran on stage causing John to back up to get ready and run off stage. But Spencer placed his hand on John’s back and pushed him forward towards the edge of the stage. This had given John a new sense of confidence and decided to let go of all his nerves and sang his heart (and lungs) out with Spencer who went into the crowd.

'll never act this way again

John looked over by the sound to see Jamison on Gary’s shoulders cheering him on and singing along to every word. He felt his heart swell up and nerves die down and come back up simultaneously. After the song was over, he quickly ran off the stage and was ready to go to look for Jamison wanting to see her first after his surreal experience. Much to his surprise, she was already backstage waiting for him.

“I am so fucking proud of you…” Jamison said, as she jumped into John’s arms and hugged him.

“Thanks.” He chuckled sheepishly, as he hugged her back.

She pulled back from his embrace and smiled, “You did good.”

“Thanks…” John let out a nervous sigh, trying to take a deep breath.

“Breathe.” She said, with a chuckle grabbing him by the shoulders and giving them a shake.

“I’m trying.” He sheepishly laughed.

After loading out, the band headed to the hotel they had booked for the night. John and Jamison had decided to go to the diner next door to the hotel for a late night snack together. The two sat at a round booth next to one another at the empty diner perusing through the menu.

“Late night date in a diner.” John joked, letting out a chuckle as he held Jamison’s hand. “Look at how movie-esque we are.”

“We’re lame.” She laughed looking over at him with a lazy smile.

“We are…” He chuckled. “Tonight was a very good night though.”

“You did an amazing job tonight. My mind is still blown. I’m wondering if that actually did happen.” Jamison said, sounding genuinely proud of him.

“You’re telling me.” He nervously said, looking at his menu. “I was shaking…”

“So proud of you.”

John smirked, “Tim told me you teared up a bit.”

“I did. It was so damn good.” She admitted, letting out a chuckle.

“Thanks for always being so supportive in every way possible.” He said looking at her straight in the eye.

“Thanks for making music and being in this world.” Jamison said, with a smile.

John brought her hand to his lips and kissed it not letting go of it. “You’re sweet.”

“Not as sweet as this pie I’m going to order…” She laughed looking down at her menu again.

John watched Jamison intently—she was just dressed in an 8123 sweatshirt and jeans with her hair tied up all messy with bangs everywhere since her hair was basically too short to tie properly. John kept sneaking glances at her as she was looking at her menu. Jamison’s bangs fell in her eyes, she kept trying to tuck them behind her ear but it didn’t seem work. She looked up and caught John looking at her and smiled before looking back down at her menu. It was a simple moment, nothing extravagant or big— they were sitting in an empty diner together but John had realized at that moment he was in love with her.

It wasn’t a grand moment that made him come to this realization. All John knew was that he was in love with Jamison.

John Cornelius O’Callaghan the Fifth was in love with Jamison Jae In Song.

“Hey Jamison?” He said quietly, feeling like his heart had jumped into his throat.

“Yeah?” She looked up at him.

“I love you.” He said, feeling like his insides were scrambled wondering how she would react.

“I love you too.” She said, casually with a smile like they had already been saying it to each other.

And that’s one of the things he was grateful for—the comfort and ease they shared with each other…

----------

John had a few more days before he had to leave for Europe to tour. To his luck, the days had fallen right when Jamison’s birthday was. He decided to surprise her by driving up to LA and celebrating it with her or else he knew he wouldn’t see her until December and that was something he didn’t want to experience.

On the day of Jamison’s birthday, John had pulled up into RubyRed Recordings and walked into the studio to hear screaming from none other than Jamison. He walked into the studio to see You Me and Six and The Cab in the studio.

“Put me down!!!” Jamison shrieked, as she thrown over Josh’s shoulder.

“Why won’t you love me Jamison Song?” Josh teased, as he spun around in circles.

“You’re so stupid…” She yelled, smacking his back before looking up to see John. “John!” She hit Josh once more indicating to put her down.

“Hey you…” John chuckled, as Jamison ran over and embraced him. “Hardly working?”

“We were working hard but distractions…” She explained rolling her eyes at the others.

“My butt being the biggest of them.” Josh yelled, as everyone laughed.

“What are you doing here?” Jamison asked, ignoring Josh’s remarks like he wasn’t even in the room.

“I wanted to surprise you on your birthday…” John said giving her a lazy smile.

“You’re awesome.” She said, kissing his cheek before looking over to the rest of the guys who were intently watching them. “You know Alex and the other Alex aka Marshall. But I don’t think you know the You Me at Six crew, do you?”

“Not in an official capacity.” John said, giving them a nod.

“This is John.” She patted his shoulder, “John, that’s Josh, Dan, Max, Chris, and Matt.” She pointed to each member respectively as they all gave him a quick wave.

“Hi.” John said, giving a wave to everyone. “And it’s good seeing you Alex and Marshall.” He nodded over to the members of The Cab.

“Good seeing you again man.” Alex said, with a smile.

“Who had money on Jae dating a lead singer?” Matt asked, looking at his other members.

“I had bassist.” Max said, raising his hand.

“I had drummer.” Dan said, nodding his head.

“I had singer.” Matt said.

“I thought tour manager for some reason.” Josh admitted causing everyone to look at him in confusion as everyone but Matt took out 5 dollars and handed it over to him.

“You fuckers…” Jamison said, letting out a scoff as everyone was laughing at what had just happened.

“Thanks Jae. I’m now 20 dollars richer.” Matt said waving the bills in front of her face.

“Go buy yourself some fucking KFC.” She punched his shoulder while he stuck his tongue out at her.

“Oh he will…” Max said, as everyone laughed.

Jamison turned to John, “Alex and Marshall came down to record an acoustic session and the Spice Girls came to work on a few possible demos. Needless to say, everyone got distracted.”

“I can tell.” John smirked, completely amused by everyone’s banter with one another.

“We were filming us dancing to some 90’s classics.” Alex said with a laugh.

“You dancing?” John inquired with a smirk while Jamison shook her head in embarrassment.

“Busting out the moves like “the running man” and “bus driver”” Dan said, with a laugh.

“Oh god, how embarrassing. We don’t need to talk about this.” Jamison said, trying to end the conversation.

“You say you recorded this?” He asked, looking at Josh who was grabbing the DSLR that was on the table next to the soundboard.

She pointed at Josh and gave him a stern look, “Don’t show him—“

“Song bird, it’s going to go on the internet eventually.” Josh smirked, “Come here mate.” He signaled for John to come over to where he was.

John looked over Josh’s shoulder as he played the clip of Jamison, Alex, and Chris dancing to a medley of infamous 90’s hits together with sunglasses on.

“Oh god…” Jamison said, burying her hands into her face.

“Is this the same girl I am dating?” John asked, looking up at Jamison holding back a laugh.

“This is the real Jamison Song.” Chris said, smirking at her as she shook her head in embarrassment.

“I’m going to get you all when you least expect it. Just know I will destroy you all.” She muttered in a voice that seemed monotone but terrifying all at once while looking at everyone besides John.

“Scary Jae has come out to play.” Alex said in singsong voice, as everyone except John had a look of panic run through their faces.

“We’re so fucked.” Max said, staring at Jamison with a look of fear.

“Please don’t saran wrap our gear again…” Dan whined thinking about the time she had saran wrapped their gear before a show as revenge.

“We’re sorry.” Josh said, quickly trying to get her to be change her mood.

“You can have the 20 dollars.” Matt said, thrusting the bills into Jamison’s hand.

“Song bird, you are quite the scary lady…” Chris said, with a sheepish chuckle.

“I’ve learned not to mess with her when she uses the word “destroy” bad things happen…” Marshall said, with a laugh.

“We’ll get you one day…” Alex joked, causing everyone to laugh.

Oh, the horror." Jamison said rolling her eyes. “This 20 bucks is going towards lunch today. What are we going to eat?” She raised the bills that Matt had shoved into her hand.

“In-N-Out.” Everyone said in unison.

“Let’s go then…” She said, nodding her head towards the door.

They had gotten to In-N-Out and taken over the biggest booth in the establishment—fries, burgers, and drinks scattered all over the table, while conversations and laughter were being shared with one another.

“We made up this game called fantasy moment. So the prompt is, who with, wearing what, eating what, and watching what? You two can’t pick one another, you’re dating.” Dan said, pointing at John and Jamison who looked at each other wondering how the other would answer.

“Uh… I don’t know. Give me a minute.” Jamison said, as she reflectively thought about her answer.

“Elisha Cuthbert, matching flannel pajamas, pizza, and watching Boardwalk Empire.” John answered, as he looked over at Jamison who nodded in approval with his answer.

Jamison squinted her eyes giving a thoughtful look. “Adam Levine. Snuggies. Sushi… and we’d be watching Golden Girls re-runs.”

“You’ve done that with him before!” Alex exclaimed while chuckling in disbelief at Jamison’s answer as she took a bite of her burger.

She covered her mouth before answering with her mouth full. “And it was a fantasy come true. Good times. I’d want that to happen again.” Shrugging nonchalantly causing everyone to laugh.

“I think that’s cheating…” John said, looking at her with a smile.

She laughed before giving another shrug, “No one specified.”

After lunch, everyone had headed to You Me at Six’s show they were having at El Ray Theatre. The show had included ‘Happy Birthday’ being sung with cake being brought up on stage and an attempt to smash said cake onto Jamison’s face and failing miserably. Afterwards, John and Jamison had headed to Malibu to Pink’s mansion for Jamison, Brendan, and Butch’s joint birthday bash.

They got inside the mansion to immediately be greeted with bottles of beer. Hugs and greetings were exchanged with guests (and even introductions for John). Eventually, they had made their way to a familiar face for both of them.

“John, it’s been a long ass time.” Brendan said, giving John a quick hug. “Or it feels that way…”

“Good to see you Brendan.” John smiled, “Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks. I am getting fucking old.” He joked causing laughter.

Suddenly a voice came from behind Brendan, “Yeah you are…”

“Hey Butch.” John said, as he gave him a hug. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.” Butch smiled, “There’s our lovely lady.” he grinned at Jamison who stood their amused by all the bromance that was going on between some of her most favorite people.

“Happy Birthday you old farts.” Jamison said, giving both Brendan and Butch hugs.

“Happy Birthday to you too.” Butch said,

“Where’s Jake?” She asked, looking around wondering where one of her closest friends was.

Suddenly another voice came into the conversation. “I am here. Now the party can start.”

“My favorite Sin…” Jamison smiled before embracing Jake.

“Happy Birthday to my favorite Song.” Jake chuckled, “I made you this…” he handled her an envelope.

“You didn’t have to.” She said, opening it to see a construction paper sandwich with fillings that were cut out individually.

It had been tradition for Jake to give Jamison a “compliment sandwich” every year on her birthday with whatever amount of “compliments” and reasons why he appreciated her matching to however old she was turning. Every year would be a new set of reasons that never overlapped with one another expect one, that she would always be his “favorite Song”.

“Of course I did, it’s our tradition.” He smiled, “Compliment sandwich filled with 24 compliment fillings.”

“You’re the best.” She hugged him once more. “Where’s Liv?” She asked, looking around wondering where his girlfriend was.

“She’s getting some drinks. Which I should go help her with but I’ll send her over.” Jake said, before walking off to search for his significant other.

Brendan and Butch looked at one another with smirks before staring at John and Jamison. John with his arm slung over Jamison’s shoulder affectionately with Jamison leaning into him.

“So, you two… you guys look happy.” Brendan said trying to hold back his smile.

Jamison laughed at the expressions on their faces, “We are.” she shook her head while looking at John who tried to hold back a smile.

“We're happy for you guys.” Butch said smiling at the two.

“Thanks.” John said, sheepishly before taking a sip of his beer.

“Brendan and I got you a present, we left it on the pile of presents that’s yours.” Butch pointed to the pile of presents on a table that had sign with Jamison’s name on it.

“Well, I got you guys presents too.” She pointed at the pile of presents that seemed to be designated for the two. “And, just say the word Uncle Jamison will take your kids anytime so you guys can have some quiet time with your wives.”

“And this is why we love you.” Brittany, Brendan’s wife, said coming up from behind Brendan with Butch’s wife Nora.

“And for many other reasons too.” Nora teased, reassuringly with a smile before Jamison happily embraced the two. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.” Jamison said, before going back into John’s embrace.

After smoozing a bit with various people, John and Jamison were intently having a conversation before she felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders. John’s eyes had widened in a bit of disbelief, it was none other than Pink herself.

“Happy Birthday baby girl.” She said, embracing Jamison while carefully holding a glass of wine in one hand.

“Thank you beautiful…” Jamison said, turning around to be face-to-face with her friend and colleague.

“You are so grown up now… I remember when you were just turning legal.”

“Time goes by so fast…”

“Is this the infamous boyfriend I’ve been hearing about?” She looked over Jamison’s shoulder with a knowing smile upon her face as John sheepishly averted eye contact.

“John, this is Alecia… or as the world knows her— Pink.” Jamison introduced, “Alecia, this is John.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Alecia said, sticking her hand out for John to shake.

“Nice to meet you too.” John said, with a sheepish smile while accepting her hand and shaking it.

“So, you’re the boy who has got our Jamison’s attention…” She said, examining John for a moment before turning to Jamison. “You did good.”

“Thanks…” Jamison chuckled as a blush crept through John’s face.

“I am going to get more wine. But I left your presents in the pile.”

“Thanks you really didn’t have to.”

“Of course I did.” She assured her. “I’m so glad we got everyone to together to have this party.”

“Thanks for letting us use your place.”

“For Brendan Benson, Butch Walker, and Jamison Song… I would do anything.” Alecia smiled, raising her empty glass in the air.

“As we would for you.” Jamison said with a smile before Alecia walked off. She turned her attention back at John. “Did you hear that? I did good…” she teased as John’s face became profusely red from blushing.

The day after the party John and Jamison had drove up together to San Francisco for the weekend before John had to go back to Arizona to go to Europe for 2 weeks. Despite loving the fact he seemed to be on tour back to back, there were moments were he had wished he had more time to spend with Jamison. The few days they had together always seemed to go by way too quickly.

John had woken up to an empty right bedside. He walked into the kitchen to see Jamison on her tiptoes, struggling to reach the top cabin to grab a box of Captain Crunch.

“I got it babe…" he said to her mindlessly while grabbing the box of Captain Crunch for her and handing it to her.

Jamison stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at John with a blank stare while holding the box of cereal causing him to realize what he had said then began to panic wondering if what he had said terrified her with his words.

“Thanks babe.” She laughed, opening the box of cereal and pouring it into her bowl.

John let out an internal sigh of relief before leaning and resting his elbows on the kitchen island. “I don’t want to leave in 2 days…” He whined.

Jamison began eating her bowl of cereal. “You get to go to the UK and Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, and France… don’t complain.”

“I’ve once again been spoiled by you. I won’t get homemade breakfasts or sleep on a California king size bed and most of all, see you face for two weeks.” He whined in a half joking manner causing her to laugh.

“True.” She jokingly agreed, “Enjoy it for the both of us.”

“Have you ever been to Europe?” He asked, as she silently offered him a bite of her cereal.

“I haven’t.” She answered, as John took the spoon of cereal she had held between his lips and chewed on it.

“It’s wonderful. I think you’d love it.” He said, “Australia too. So many beautiful countries all over the world…”

“If you had to pick one place to go out of all the places you’re about to go, where would it be?”

“Paris—it’s the city of love.” He answered without any hesitation. “The history, the culture, and just something about it… it’s magical.” He gushed.

“Sounds amazing.”

“We should go one day together.” He proposed with a lazy smile.

“We should.” She agreed, putting the empty bowl into the sink before washing her hands.

John went up to her from behind and buried his head into her shoulder. “I feel like I get to see so much of you no one else does and I don’t know if this makes me sound selfish. But I really love that I get to.” He mumbled, before giving a peck on her neck.

“I’m going to make that sentiment truer than it’s ever been.” She said, “Come with me.” she pulled his arm and lead him to a door he had passed by many times but had never been through.

“Where are we going?” He asked, as she opened the door had stairs leading downward.

“Just follow.” She said, walking down the stairs as John followed only seeing a few fairy lights illumining their pathway.

They went down into the basement of Jamison’s house—somewhere John had never even knew existed. Jamison flicked a switch as the room lit up along with the fairy lights. John looked around the space—walls filled with post-it’s with scribbles and doddles, polaroids, vinyl records. On one side of the room that was separated by a wall with a huge glass window to see through the other side, much like a studio had an upright piano, drum kit, and other instruments. The space where John and Jamison were standing had a couch, soundboard, Mac, and other recording equipment. The entire space had a sense of whimsical, warmth, and familiarity to it.

“What is this place?” John asked, looking around in awe. He knew what it was but wanted to hear from Jamison.

“My studio.” She answered, “I made it a couple months ago… no one knows about it or has seen it yet. You’re the first…” she turned to look at John who stood their still in awe at what he was looking at.

“This is awesome.” He let out a chuckle, “Very you…” he mused taking in the vibe of the entire space.

“I do need your opinion on something…” She said, taking a seat on the revolving chair that was in front of the computer and soundboard.

“Anything…” John said, as he plotted on the couch that was across from her.

“Tell me what you think of this track, it’s a rough demo and there’s only a chorus. But I want to hear what you think.”

“Come at me.” He said, with a chuckle.

Jamison turned on the computer and began searching through it for a moment before opening up a file and playing it for John. The music ran through the studio speakers and the minute John heard the song he realized it was Jamison singing.

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

The vocals were layered over one another; it had an interesting string arrangement, and somehow gave an Americana vibe with contemporary undertones. It intrigued him, it made him want more, it for some reason tugged his heart strings in all the right ways. He instantaneously fell in love with it.

“Verdict?” She asked, as the small clipped she played for him was over.

“I love it…” John declared, “Is this a demo you’re working on with someone? Scratch vocals?” he asked, wondering who she was working with.

“This is mine, something all done by me…” She admitted letting out a sheepish chuckle. “And it was all inspired by you.”

John was in complete disbelief with her statement then immediately thought back to the time they were on the roof of the 8123 offices when she had come with him to Arizona for Christmas.

“So, we’re here because?” She asked staring at the building as John got out another set of keys and began opening the door.

“Besides coming here to pick up truck.” He admitted with a chuckle, This is the 8123 offices… and one of the best places where you can see Arizona sunsets. Granted, we’re here at night but… it’s still nice to look at anytime of day.” He said as he guided her up to the rooftop that showed the cityscape.

“You guys are really doing something here…” She said, looking around as they walked up the stairs that lead to the rooftop.

“One day if you ever make a record, I’m going hound Tim to sign you and have you apart of 8123.” John chuckled, as he took a seat on the patio furniture that was laid out with Jamison taking a seat next to him.

“Never going to happen—the record making part.” She said, with a chuckle shaking her head.

“I would buy 100 copies if you made one.” He teased, causing her to roll her eyes and laugh.

“Reassuring but I don’t ever think so…”

“You’ve never thought about making one? Ever?” He asked, curiously.

“I can’t say I haven’t thought of the idea of doing it—I want to do a lot of things. Collaborating with friends… doing projects musically or otherwise with them beyond the studio. Yeah, I’ve thought of it but… with my own music, it’s different for me.” Jamison explained, as she was taking in the view.

“Why is that?” John looked at her curiously wondering what her reason would be.

“Music is my life. I am married to my job, which is music, it is everything I am… but it’s also a drug if you think about it. The way a song can take your head over and make you feel so intensely and so immediately. It’s like snorting the powder; it goes straight to your brain… to your heart.” She began, “Music is something that reminds you that you are alive when you’re numb—it’s suppose to make you feel each time you listen. I’m afraid if I make my own music, that won’t happen—plus, I don’t have anything I need to say right now.” She explained, with a small smile as she looked over at John who stared at her in amazement.

“You love it so much, don’t you?” John said, hearing her love for music. It’s exactly how he had felt about it.

“I do…” She nodded, “It gives me strength… which I don’t have much of.” She nervously chuckled looking back at the view.

“I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have all these scars, you’ve overcome them, you’re alive, you’re living… and you’re here. I think that’s a testament to something.” John smiled, “You told me once you do this to give back to music… maybe making music beyond what you’re doing now could be another way to give back to what music has done for you. So maybe when you have something to say… you can try.” He said hopefully as he also looked back at the view.

“Maybe one day then…”

“I’ll take a maybe over a no…” He smiled to himself, as he let out a content sigh.

“I know this is a big deal for you…” John said, going up to her and giving her a hug from behind. “Thank you.” He kissed the top of her head still in complete shock; he knew opening up this much meant something massive.

“Gotta let those walls go down…” She said, looking up at John who just gave her a smile as he felt his heart swell up a bit.

After spending the afternoon writing their untitled project together and hunting for records. John and Jamison spent the evening watching ‘Lost in Translation’ and eating takeout.

By the time the ending credits were rolling somehow Jamison had ended up straddling John’s lap and his arms holding her waist while the two began a heated makeout session—lips and hands everywhere. This wasn’t new for the two but John had always cherished these moments with Jamison but not for the obvious reasons.

Everyone knew Jamison Song, the girl who was generous with her hugs as much as her sarcasm. But he was the only one who got to know Jamison Song, the girl—his girl, who played with the back of his head while he would kiss her neck (a spot he soon found out was a favorite of hers). Colleagues got to work with Jamison Song, producer in the studio and discover about her work ethics. John was the only one who got to discover what she liked beyond the four studio walls in an intimate way—physically and emotionally.

Something about that always made his heart (and ego) swell in joy.

John pulled away and closed his eyes before letting out a sigh. “We should stop now cause I don’t trust myself to behave.” He said, with a lazy smile while his eyes were still closed.

He had always stopped himself before things got too hard for him to control and there was always an unspoken gratitude from Jamison for making sure she never felt out of place or uncomfortable.

“Don’t.” She muttered, causing John to open his eyes and stare at Jamison who was looking right back at him.

“What?” He asked, wondering if he had heard her correctly.

“I trust you…”

“Cliché as it may seem, when I fall in love with someone and am ready to let down all my inhibitions and walls completely. I think that’s when it’ll be time. Honestly, the first time is rarely ever good from what I am told— I mostly hear it’s awkward, scary, and daunting… I rather have my awkward, scary, daunting first time with someone I can wholeheartedly trust… and love. Gosh, that made me sound really lame.” She laughed feeling a bit embarrassed by her own words.

I trust you…

And those words meant more to him than anything…