Status: In progress
Such Sweet Nothing
Prologue
“You have no idea what it is like! This isn’t some sort of spasm of anger that I can control, it isn’t something I can work through!” He seemed angry that I just didn’t seem to be grasping the concept.
“I’m not stupid!” I retorted harshly, I felt my anger reaching dangerous heights.
“I turn into this thing-“ He thrust his hands away from him and towards me as if that was what I needed to understand. A gesture and a vague explanation.
“If you use the word monster one more time so help me-“ I trailed off as he turned his tired, angry gaze at the wall.
“That’s what I am.” The shouting was done. I did not like when the shouting was done because that meant he was giving up. He wasn’t going to fight anymore, he was done.
“Bruce, just let me help you.” I didn’t want to stop being mad. I didn’t want to feel what was really boiling up to the surface; desperation, sadness, and rejection.
“No.”
“I can figure it out-“
“I can’t even figure it out.” I let the anger swell up and swallow me.
“Right, because if you can’t figure it out it just isn’t possible.” The sarcasm dripped from my words as he finally turned to face me.
“As I recall, I was the one teaching you about certain aspects of gamma radiation and astrophysics.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He subconcioulsy patted his left breast pocket, making sure his glasses were still there.
“Yeah well communication was never your strong point.” The anger was ebbing away and I did not like it, not one bit. We stood in silence for a long length of time.
“I know, that’s why you’ve always been the face of our work.” His response came late, as though he had a lapse in the conversation.
“Don’t go.” There was the desperation I was scared of.
“I’m sorry. It’s just not safe.” I was fighting a losing battle. I knew it but it didn’t stop me from trying.
“We can figure it out, I’ll fix it. I’ll learn everything about gamma radiation and genetics, I just need some time.” I was grasping for anything that would give me more time.
“Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
“You made this hard the second you came into my house and told me you’re leaving and I will have no way of reaching you.” He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it.
“I’ll find some way to write you.” He said finally.
“Yeah, great.” I lashed out with a finality in my voice that couldn’t be mistaken.
“I’m not stupid!” I retorted harshly, I felt my anger reaching dangerous heights.
“I turn into this thing-“ He thrust his hands away from him and towards me as if that was what I needed to understand. A gesture and a vague explanation.
“If you use the word monster one more time so help me-“ I trailed off as he turned his tired, angry gaze at the wall.
“That’s what I am.” The shouting was done. I did not like when the shouting was done because that meant he was giving up. He wasn’t going to fight anymore, he was done.
“Bruce, just let me help you.” I didn’t want to stop being mad. I didn’t want to feel what was really boiling up to the surface; desperation, sadness, and rejection.
“No.”
“I can figure it out-“
“I can’t even figure it out.” I let the anger swell up and swallow me.
“Right, because if you can’t figure it out it just isn’t possible.” The sarcasm dripped from my words as he finally turned to face me.
“As I recall, I was the one teaching you about certain aspects of gamma radiation and astrophysics.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He subconcioulsy patted his left breast pocket, making sure his glasses were still there.
“Yeah well communication was never your strong point.” The anger was ebbing away and I did not like it, not one bit. We stood in silence for a long length of time.
“I know, that’s why you’ve always been the face of our work.” His response came late, as though he had a lapse in the conversation.
“Don’t go.” There was the desperation I was scared of.
“I’m sorry. It’s just not safe.” I was fighting a losing battle. I knew it but it didn’t stop me from trying.
“We can figure it out, I’ll fix it. I’ll learn everything about gamma radiation and genetics, I just need some time.” I was grasping for anything that would give me more time.
“Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
“You made this hard the second you came into my house and told me you’re leaving and I will have no way of reaching you.” He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it.
“I’ll find some way to write you.” He said finally.
“Yeah, great.” I lashed out with a finality in my voice that couldn’t be mistaken.