Such Sweet Nothing

“No this is bullshit!” I felt like throwing something; anything as Bruce seemed to shut me out for the umpteenth time today. We had come back from lunch and I tried to get him to talk to me about what happened last night. The man was like a freaking stainless steel walled fortress.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” His voice was calm he was always seemingly calm.

“Well I do. I have spent years not able to talk about it. You can’t keep doing this to me.” His calm tone always made me stop yelling. We were in my living room, he was sitting on the couch and I was sitting on my coffee table in front of him.

“You’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to get into this with you.” His tone went from calm to firm and I knew I was, yet again, fighting a losing battle with this man. I leaned forward and hid my face in my hands and tried to think of something to make me not cry again.

“I don’t even know what we are getting in to.” I mumbled angrily at my knees.

“I know you regret it and I know you don’t have feelings for me in that way, but I have to talk about it. Because it was confusing as hell for me and I feel like I have sat here and-“ I stopped talking as he placed his hand on my left forearm. I looked up and saw a heartbreaking expression on his face, like I had finally said something that hurt him to his core.

“I told you I didn’t regret it. You think I slept with you because-“ He stopped talking suddenly and released my arm as if it burned him. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed as he let his hand drop. “Because I was lonely or just looking to get laid?” As he was saying it he was shaking his head, like what he was saying was ridiculous.

“I don’t know.” I answered even though I think the question was rhetorical.

“You have no idea, do you?” His question frustrated me deeply and I had to stand up and turn away from him as I gripped at my shirt.

“You know what? You’re right I don’t want to talk about this with you.” I released my shirt and ignored the pain in my side, in my head, and the heavy weight in my chest. I felt like such a fucking idiot every time I tried to talk to him.

“I’ve been chasing you since that night and I think I’m done.” I said as I turned to look at him, my hand reached up to run through my hair.

“You just don’t want to be caught.” I stopped at the cut on my head and sucked in a sharp breath of air.

“I feel so stupid.” My words were choked and I felt like something inside of me broke.

“So fucking stupid. Here I am back in the same fucking position.” I spat out my words as they were aimed at the marble floor. Bruce was watching me closely now, calculating my tone and my stance. I couldn’t take his silence anymore so I stormed out of my own apartment, slamming the door behind me. Fuck it; if he gets to leave all the time it’s my turn now. I found myself in my tenth floor lab.

“Who are you?” The woman with curly, brown hair turned in her chair to face me. She had a smile on her face until she saw me.

“Oh, uh I’m Anjilika. I’m just an assistant that Mr. Stark hired. He asked me to update all of the lab computers and organize some of the files.” She seemed flustered and I could see why, I was in shit-storm rampage mode. It’s funny, Bruce was the one with major anger issues, but somehow I was the one always yelling.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a bad day.” I apologized as I saw her physically relax at my normal tone.

“I’m Dr. Munroe and this is my floor.” I stepped forward and shook her hand. She smiled now and nodded.

“Nice to meet you, I’m familiar with your work.” She said as I let go of her hand and headed to my main desk and sat down.

“I won’t be that much longer.” She called out to me as I turned my computer on and saw I had a new system. It seemed easier to navigate.

“Is this Tony’s system?” I asked as I logged in and pulled up my files on my gamma radiation testing.

“No ma’am, it’s a little something I developed.” My eyebrows rose in surprise and I nodded my head.

“I’m impressed.” She looked back over at me with a grin.

“Thank you.” I turned my attention back to my screen and sighed. The cells would be ready tomorrow for the testing I wanted to do, which was an extremely high dose of radiation. I would be in the safety of my lab, the cells in an enclosed case.

“All done.” She said as she stood up from the table and turned to look at me. I smiled at her as she walked closer to my desk.

“I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, I hope it gets better.” Her voice was genuine.

“Thank you.” She did a small wave and was heading to the door of my lab, but before she could reach it Steve and Tony were heading inside.

“Hello ma’am.” Steve greeted her with a smile and held the door open for her.

“Ma’am?” She stopped walking and Steve’s smile faltered a bit.

“I don’t think I look that old, do I?” Steve blushed about sixteen different shades of red before he looked down at the ground.

“You’ll have to excuse Capsicle, he spent seven decades encased in ice.” Tony patted Steve on the shoulder as he ducked down and came in underneath Steve’s arm.

“You can just call me Anjilika.” She said with a laugh as she exited my lab, but not before winking at Steve. I didn’t think his face could get any more red, but boy was I wrong.

“Where’s Banner?” Tony looked around my lab, as if Bruce was going to pop up.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” I muttered darkly as he stood next to me.

“What in the hell are you two arguing about now?” Tony whined like a four year old.

“None of your god damn business.” Steve was now standing next to Tony.

“Oh for the love of Christ.” Tony muttered into his hand as he crossed his arms tightly on front of his chest.

“Please just don’t. Not today.” I placed my head down on my table and refused to look at the two men in my lab.

“Should we leave you alone?” Steve asked as I nodded my head without lifting it.

“I think we should-“ Tony was cut off suddenly as I heard a smack.

“Ow!” I smiled a little bit at the thought of Steve hitting him.

“Fine! Well when you’re done sulking we will be upstairs.” Tony’s voice was further away now as he walked towards the door.

“Hey, are you okay?” I only nodded again as Steve asked the question close to my ear.

“Okay, well if you need me you know where I am.” I just couldn’t seem to catch a fucking break with this whole Bruce thing.