Such Sweet Nothing

“Dr. Munroe, Dr. Banner is here to see you.” I rolled over in my bed as JARVIS announced this to my bedroom.

“Tell Dr. Banner I am not taking visitors right now.”

“Dr. Banner is already here.” I shot up in my bed and grasped my covers in my hands as Bruce sat down at the edge of my bed.

“Sorry Dr. Munroe.” JARVIS said.

“No problem JARVIS.” Bruce smiled in my direction slightly as he looked at his lap.

“Do you mind?” I set my sights on the man in front of me.

“Sorry, I just figured this would be the only way I would get you to even acknowledge my presence. I also didn’t want Tony to be in on this conversation.” I ran a hand through my hair while still keeping my blanket clutched to my chest.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” I stated finally.

“I just want for you to listen and if you want to yell and hit me, by all means, do it.” He held his hands up in front of himself.

“You’re not going to leave are you?” He shook his head slowly.

“No.” I looked at him and then down at myself.

“Do you mind?” He raised an eyebrow in my direction.

“Kind of not dressed under here.” I sang under my breath. He got a surprised look on his face and I saw him blush.

“Oh! Right, sorry. I’ll just wait out here.” He quickly exited my bedroom and shut the door behind himself.

“Right.” I threw the covers off of myself and headed into my closet to grab some jeans and a t-shirt. We weren’t going into the lab today, more of a brainstorm meeting later in the afternoon. I ran a hand through my hair quickly and let it fall into place over my shoulders.

“Sorry for intruding.” Bruce was sitting at my breakfast bar.

“No you aren’t.” I started rummaging around my kitchen for some caffeine.

“Maybe not.” I caught the small smile on his face as I found something to drink.

“You want something?” He held his hand up.

“I’m fine, thank you.” I stood in front of him with the counter between us.

“So,” I led off as I finally looked at him.

“I just wanted to start off by saying how sorry I am. I know I should have handled it better, but I just didn’t want to put you in danger. You were my best friend.” He was playing nervously with his glasses on the counter.

“You were already the Hulk for some time though, I just don’t understand. We were friends and then one day you just decided it was too dangerous? You told me what happened to you the first time you were in New Mexico and then you told me you were leaving. And then that night,” I had to stop talking because that meant I had to think about it.

“I was so selfish. I just found you and I knew I shouldn’t have let our friendship go that far, but I did. I didn’t mean to let myself get attached to you. It was just so hard to say no to you. I just wanted to spend time with you, and then when you came to New Mexico with me I couldn’t help it.” He was still glossing over that night. He still wouldn’t acknowledge it.

“I went for the science.” I was back into ice queen mode.

“I know.” He said quickly.

“I just meant that I was happy we were in the same place.” Silence fell over the conversation.

“I should never have placed you in harms way.” He said quietly as he stared at his glasses in his hands.

“But you can have friends now? You couldn’t back then but you can now?” I felt myself getting hurt all over again.

“I have friends who are superheroes, they can handle the other guy.” I gripped at my countertop.

“He has a name.” I found myself staring at him.

“Right.” His strained smile met my eyes. It was a very sad smile.

“Sorry I couldn’t be a superhero.” I heard the sarcasm before I could catch it. He finally looked up at me.

“I just want to start over.” Well that made two of us, but I still couldn’t seem to let go and forgive to be able to start over.

“You haven’t answered anything.” I countered as he sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“I mean I know you’re sorry, I hear you. But why is it okay for me to be around you now? I don’t have any super powers or a super suit. Why did you just leave? I don’t understand.” He looked at me with a sad smile.

“As much as you hate to hear it, I just can’t answer that right now.”

“You’re right, I hate to hear that.” I muttered as I turned around to place my cup in the sink on the other side of my kitchen.

“I know I am asking a lot from you. Especially since you’re helping Tony and I. I don’t expect for your forgiveness, but I guess I would just like the opportunity to get to know you again. To hopefully be friends again.”

“I’ll have to think about it.” I turned to look at him as I leaned my back against the counter.

“Okay, I’m sorry to bother you.” He pushed back from the counter and placed his glasses in his pocket as he stood up. He made his way to the elevator.

“What happens if I can make him go away?” He turned around and took a few steps back to me.

“What do you mean?” I was sure he could’ve taken that question in a couple of different directions.

“I don’t know, never mind.” I ran a hand through my hair and placed my elbows on my counter and rested my face in my hands.

“I can’t even say what I want to say to you. It’s just so frustrating.” I bit my lip as I heard his footsteps get closer to me.

“Why not?”

“Because I am afraid. I don’t want to hurt every time I think about you. I’m just so mad at you. I’ve had this black weight sitting in my chest for years because of you. Wondering if you’re okay, if you were even still alive. I just figured you didn’t give a fuck anymore. You wrote me once, Bruce. One time.” His hands were placed firmly on the back of the chair as I stepped towards the counter in front of him.

“It’s because I cared that I didn’t keep in contact. It was to keep you safe.” And there it is again.

“Whatever you say Dr. Banner.” I was so sick of feeling so fragile because of him.

“Kylie, please.” I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, I guess I just need more time to not want to rip your head off every time you tell me you kept me in the dark for my safety. I spent years of my life not sleeping and worrying about you every second of every day. You were my best friend. You were the only one who had any idea what I had been through in my life. I could have helped. I know I could have helped. You wasted years thinking of my safety and now here we are, me helping you.” The desperation in my voice became apparent towards the end.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“I could have helped.” I repeated quietly as my hands formed into fists.

“I had no control over him. I was scared that you would have been killed and then where would that have left me? Once I became myself again, what would I have been reduced to if I realized what had happened?” I felt like we were running around in circles now.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I was taking one of his tactics he used to use on me when we would argue. I was giving up.

“I have more control now, not total control, but I have some control. Tony has promised me he will keep you safe. I care for you very much, I hope you know that.” He made the first move and came around the counter to stand next to me.

“We were best friends, I know.” He slid his arm around my waist and pressed me up against his side.

“I’m sorry for what I put you through and I know you need more time.” He pressed his face against the side of my head.

“I’ll leave you alone, now.” He kissed my hair and just as quickly as he came he was gone.