Beneath You're Beautiful

***Nadia***

I wake up by shouting in the other room. Still with closed eyes I pray that this is some dream and not reality but three low deep voices make it obvious that I am not dreaming anymore. All I want is to continue sleeping but these men have something other in mind. Of course I recognize their voices.

“Why did you do it? Why?”

“We could do something else!”

Mumbling.

I sneak out of my bed to the door and open it a little so I could hear more of the conversation or arguing. In my family doesn't exist difference between arguing and talking. Every conversation starts with talking and ends with arguing.

I know what you think; I shouldn't be doing this sneaking thing but what matter.

“Dad, you just don’t understand…”

“So explain, son” I smirk on this.

I know my brothers too well and so I know that they hate when dad talks to them like this. The bossy one, when you just have to do whatever he asks you to. He doesn't talk like this usually but when he does it’s with my brothers.

“What do you expect us to do? That guy was all over her. He stared at her, whispered her something and …”

“He touched her, dad. He has the courage to touch her. To touch our Nadia.”

Dmitry says angry but I could hear care in his voice. All my brothers care for me. They’re all so overprotecting but I know they mean good. Sometimes it’s getting on my nerve but I accept it how it is.

“You shouldn't give him that letter. It would be better if she forgets everything about him.” What Piotr says make me upset.
It’s my decision and my mistakes.

The voice in my head says that I should stand up and walk inside but other voice stop me that I should spy some more. And of course I stay in the place.

“Don’t you dare to tell what I should or shouldn't do, young man!” Dad’s voice is rising and the image of him standing in front of my brothers is so clear that I could see it in my mind.

“I did what I did, because of you two. I would rather have my daughter back in Russia with me and mom but it’s not possible. I know you want to protect her and I want that too but we have to realize that she’s not a child anymore and if I don’t give her place to make own decisions she would only disobeyed us. I know best what she needs and she needs her own place to live her life, makes decisions and mistakes. And when she realizes that, maybe hurts herself we’ll be there for her.”

Thank you, dad!

He knows me better than anybody else.

“She would respect our rules. She’s the way too young to make her decisions and mostly after what happened.” Dmitry says almost whispering. He doesn't want to make dad any angrier.

“We all remember what happened, Dmitry and we are scared that it might happen again but I just can’t lock Nadia in her room and wait forever. That’s not the way how to deal with it. You two made a mistake to hurt him in front of her. Piotr, you know how she is scared of fights and if I just came and said that she can’t see him or meet him anymore, I’m one hundred percent sure she’ll go straight to him. How I said, she’s not child anymore.” Silence fills the room and I think that I should go back to my bed but then something stops me.

“What should we do?”

In the room is another silence while dad is thinking, I assumed.
“We will wait, and pray that nothing bad happen and Nadia will be happy and not heartbroken.” After that I return to my bed with one thing in my mind which I don’t understand.

Heartbroken?

Why should I be heartbroken? I don’t think I’ll ever love or be loved so dad doesn't have be worried. Sidney Crosby doesn't love me. He is like any other guy who wants only one night from me. Nothing more, nothing less, like any other boy or man I've met.
I have to fall asleep because next thing I remember is how my dad tries to wake me up.

“Get up, sweetheart, we have to go. You have another photo shoot and after that we have that charity in a hospital.”

“OK, daddy, I’m awake. Just give me a minute to get ready, OK?”

------

Drive to hospital is in deadly silent. None of us want to break it, scared that atmosphere could change from bad to worse. Piotr and I sit in the backseats looking anywhere and everywhere but in front of us. Sometimes I feel pair of eyes on me but everything I do is to continue watching the scene that is outside. Hating fights and arguing I always try to pretend that nothing happen. Not every time it’s good decision but I just want to dispense myself from shouting and any violence.

“Who else will be in hospital charity besides of us?” Dmitry cut the silence off. “If I’m right, there should be some players too.” As dad says the word players, Piotr tense, but doesn't say a word. He just glares at me. I assume that he still have their conversation from earlier today in his head.

“Stop with that!” I said calmly

“What?”

“Stop with that glaring, will you?”

Piotr lifts his hands in defense and turns his head back to window. When we get out of the car the first one I see is a big Russian giant named Geno. Smile appeared on my face but fades when I see how Geno turns around. It’s like a hit in a stomach. Of course he is angry. My brothers just threaten his friend and captain. More of thinking about it, more I’m surprised that they’re even here.

“Come on Nadia, we should go inside and cheer some kids who deserve it more than those players.” Showing the word players off so he is sure I know the other significance of that word. Looking back at the group of penguins and with sad sight I turn around and go toward director of hospital Mr. Goodall.

As every time we've been here his face light up when he sees members of my family. With a welcoming smile Mr. Goodall opens his arms to give me his bear hug and kiss on the cheek. “Welcome back Mr. Lamosov, Dmitry, Piotr.” still in his arms he politely nod at my brothers and shake my dad’s hand.

“Welcome here top model.”

I just love this man. He is director here for 12 years. With his small figure and that familiar character everybody likes him. I grin at him, happy that somebody appreciates my presence here. “I hope that I could see Mrs. Goodall today as well. I haven’t seen her for so long that I wonder if she even remembers me.” Mr. Goodall laughs at my state, together with my dad.

“Don’t worry Nadia; you are really hard not to remember. If somebody forgets about you, that person could only lose a memory.” From my behind I hear a sweet, caring and mostly familiar voice. When I turn on my heels, I see a beautiful woman with her short brown hair and petite figure.

“Lency, it’s so nice to see you again.” I hug Mrs. Goodall and kiss her both cheeks. “OK, I’m going to tell guys that you’re here and then we shall start, alright?” Mr. Goodall doesn't wait for an answer and go towards the group of hockey players. They all greet Mr. Goodall with nod and some of them with handshakes. All of them listen to Mr. Goodall and then look towards us. I gulp and look back at Lency who doesn't notice that all of my men tensed.

“Shall we go please?”

I look at my father who looks more tensed than Piotr or Dmitry.

“Yeah, of course sweetheart, come on guys.” Everyone relax a little and look happier that I am the one who suggest this. In a lobby we have to wait while everybody gets there.

“So, everything here we have to thanks to family Lamosov and mostly Nadia who covers this year and she really depends on it. So thank you Nadia.” In lobby is heard applause and I felt hotter on my cheeks. I’m blushing like a little child.

“Also we have to thank to hockey players from Pittsburgh Penguins who gladly accept our invitation to help this kids with so hard destiny.” applause is again heard in lobby and Geno, Sidney, Marc-André, Pascal, Kris and Jordan give a little wave and Mr. Goodall continue.

“So two of penguins, Mr. Crosby and Mr. Staal, will go with Miss Lamosova if everybody agree, the other players go their way to other side of hospital and misters Lamosov will occupy me and my wife side.”

With everything said my men have to leave me on my own. I take a long breath and turn on my heels to go towards Jordan and Sidney. In a truth I am little hurt that he doesn’t call me but I understood that he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

“Hi Nadia, how are you?” Jordan geniously smiled at me. I want to shake his hand but instead of it he takes my hand and kisses it. I watch him and then blush when his eyes meet mine. “I’m good. Actually pretty excited for cheer these kids up.” I grin at them totally forget about my previous hurt feelings.

This charity starts my mom ten years ago. All it was because my cousin died here because of a cancer, so my mom wanted to help people with the pain what cancer causes. Treatment is the hardest part for everybody besides death like financial or physical. And this charity is about it. Every child here gets something and their parents get some financial injection so it’s a little bit easier for them.

After Jordan’s little talking my eyes meet Sidney. “How about you, Sidney? How are you?” I ask a little scared that he might be angry at me but every fear disappears when I see his smile.

“It’s better now, thank you Nadia.” And his smiled even brighter. It was so beautiful, that not only one woman would give him everything he wants.