Status: in progress
Stumbling Upon a Stranger's Grave
Chapter Nine
Vic POV
It's been a few days since I last saw Kellin-- a week, to be exact. We had six more days until we had to leave.
We still hadn't found the book.
I've been trying to spend as much time with Kellin before we had to leave, but the stubborn asshole wasn't having it. I've shown up every day for the past week hoping he'd appear, but no luck.
I understand that he's upset… maybe even a little pissed. But shouldn't we cherish the last moments we had?
At least, that's what I thought. But whatever.
"Find anything?" Mike called. I sighed, giving up.
"No."
Why was I even trying? Kellin obviously didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I was the only one making an effort with this shit.
"You know what?" I muttered to myself. "Fuck it. Fuck it, I'm done-"
"Yes!" I heard Mike shout. I turned to see him at the librarian's desk.
I shrugged it off, thinking he had just scored her number or something of the sort. A few moments later, Mike walked up to me.
"This bitch," he started, holding something up. "This bitch has been checked out the entire time we've been looking for it."
My jaw dropped as I stared at the book. "No fucking way," I breathed, reaching for it to make sure it was real.
Mike grinned, nodding. "Way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I made my way into the cemetery, standing a few feet away from Kellin's grave. I tried to look as depressed as I did yesterday, my hands shoved into my pockets. I rocked back and forth on my heels, staring at the ground.
I knew this was mean but I wanted to Kellin to feel bad. I wanted him to feel bad for avoiding me when he knew I was trying my fucking hardest.
"So..." I started, getting ready to give the best acting performance of my life.
"Kellin," I sighed. "I've tried so fucking hard, I'm sorry. We just can't find it. And honestly, maybe it's better that we didn't."
I felt his spark of interest after I said that. I smiled internally before continuing.
"I'm going to be honest here, Kells. It doesn't seem like you want anything to do with me anymore. And I'm okay with that-really, I am. I mean, I kind of figured it would happen sooner or later."
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to appear like I was getting worked up.
"These past weeks talking to you have been really fucking amazing, but we're going to leave soon. Sooner than I thought. You helped me open up to my family and talk again, and even though I haven't been speaking to them for the past few days, I want to thank you for that. I'm not sure if I'll speak to them again after we're back in San Diego-I probably won't. But hey, that's alright."
I could feel him protesting with what I was saying, but I was waiting for him to stop throwing his little tantrum and appear.
"We're leaving in a few days, and I'm sorry, but I've given up. I seem to be the only one who wants this, and I can't have that. Not when I care so much about you and it seems like you don't give a damn about me. But it's alright that you don't-- no one does."
I knew that I was probably breaking his heart, but I let it all out like I was keeping it bottled up. And in a way, I was. These were kind of my actual thoughts. And I was about to pull the last straw.
"This is the last time that I'm going to come here, so...I guess this is goodbye, Kellin."
I turned like I was going to leave, waiting for him to call me back. I knew it was cruel, but hey, I wanted him to feel bad. Does that make me a terrible person?
Probably.
But damn, I was a good actor.
Kellin’s POV
This is so fucking stupid. Why am I even doing this to him? He kissed me back, so he should feel the same way i do… right? I haven’t let him see me for the past few days because I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’ve been pissed about the book and at war with myself about my feelings for Vic. A lot of the time I would either be deep in thought or just sit and listen to him. I loved his voice. It calmed me down, especially when I felt stressed over something.
I heard the gate creak and watched as Vic sauntered in, his hands in his pockets and his head down. I paced as I listened.
"So...Kellin," he sighed. "I've tried so fucking hard. I'm sorry. We just can't find it. And honestly, maybe it's better that we didn't."
I stopped in my tracks. Better that you didn’t? What the fuck?!
"I'm going to be honest here, Kells. It doesn't seem like you want anything to do with me anymore. And I'm okay with that-really, I am. I mean, I kind of figured it would happen sooner or later." He said, running his fingers through that curly mop head of his.
He’s lost his mind. I could never lose interest in him…. ever.
"These past weeks talking to you have been really fucking amazing,” I smiled, “but we're going to leave soon. Sooner than I thought. You helped me open up to my family and talk again, and even though I haven't been speaking to them for the past few days, I want to thank you for that. I'm not sure if I'll speak to them again after we're back in San Diego-I probably won't. But hey, that's alright." A few tears spilled over but I quickly wiped them away even though he couldn’t see them.
"We're leaving in a few days, and I'm sorry, but I've given up. I seem to be the only one who wants this, and I can't have that. Not when I care so much about you and it seems like you don't give a damn about me. But it's alright that you don't-- no one does."
I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me and I couldn’t breathe. I was angry and sad and frustrated, yet I could so easily forgive him. I didn’t want to let him leave. I was feeling all those things but when I looked back on our time together I realized how much he meant to me. His laughter and smile brightened my world and the kiss we shared might have been awkward at first but it was perfection. I cant lose him.
“...I guess this is goodbye, Kellin." He whispered.
That simple sentence yanked me out of my thoughts. I froze, watching as he made his way towards the gate. I focused and made myself visible.
“I’m sorry.”
He turned, and smiled, “I knew you’d come around.”
I ignored him and the tears streaming down my face, “I’m s-so sorry I made you wait this long and I’m sorry you c-couldn’t find the book but I don’t care a-about the book anymore. I’m s-sorry that you feel like I don’t c-care because I do, Vic. I r-really do.”
Now, he was standing in front of me, and he held out his hand waiting for me to grab it. I did and took my chance.
“A-And I’m sorry I’m dead and that I-I’m doing this to you but y-you have to know that I-I love you, Vic.”
It's been a few days since I last saw Kellin-- a week, to be exact. We had six more days until we had to leave.
We still hadn't found the book.
I've been trying to spend as much time with Kellin before we had to leave, but the stubborn asshole wasn't having it. I've shown up every day for the past week hoping he'd appear, but no luck.
I understand that he's upset… maybe even a little pissed. But shouldn't we cherish the last moments we had?
At least, that's what I thought. But whatever.
"Find anything?" Mike called. I sighed, giving up.
"No."
Why was I even trying? Kellin obviously didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I was the only one making an effort with this shit.
"You know what?" I muttered to myself. "Fuck it. Fuck it, I'm done-"
"Yes!" I heard Mike shout. I turned to see him at the librarian's desk.
I shrugged it off, thinking he had just scored her number or something of the sort. A few moments later, Mike walked up to me.
"This bitch," he started, holding something up. "This bitch has been checked out the entire time we've been looking for it."
My jaw dropped as I stared at the book. "No fucking way," I breathed, reaching for it to make sure it was real.
Mike grinned, nodding. "Way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I made my way into the cemetery, standing a few feet away from Kellin's grave. I tried to look as depressed as I did yesterday, my hands shoved into my pockets. I rocked back and forth on my heels, staring at the ground.
I knew this was mean but I wanted to Kellin to feel bad. I wanted him to feel bad for avoiding me when he knew I was trying my fucking hardest.
"So..." I started, getting ready to give the best acting performance of my life.
"Kellin," I sighed. "I've tried so fucking hard, I'm sorry. We just can't find it. And honestly, maybe it's better that we didn't."
I felt his spark of interest after I said that. I smiled internally before continuing.
"I'm going to be honest here, Kells. It doesn't seem like you want anything to do with me anymore. And I'm okay with that-really, I am. I mean, I kind of figured it would happen sooner or later."
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to appear like I was getting worked up.
"These past weeks talking to you have been really fucking amazing, but we're going to leave soon. Sooner than I thought. You helped me open up to my family and talk again, and even though I haven't been speaking to them for the past few days, I want to thank you for that. I'm not sure if I'll speak to them again after we're back in San Diego-I probably won't. But hey, that's alright."
I could feel him protesting with what I was saying, but I was waiting for him to stop throwing his little tantrum and appear.
"We're leaving in a few days, and I'm sorry, but I've given up. I seem to be the only one who wants this, and I can't have that. Not when I care so much about you and it seems like you don't give a damn about me. But it's alright that you don't-- no one does."
I knew that I was probably breaking his heart, but I let it all out like I was keeping it bottled up. And in a way, I was. These were kind of my actual thoughts. And I was about to pull the last straw.
"This is the last time that I'm going to come here, so...I guess this is goodbye, Kellin."
I turned like I was going to leave, waiting for him to call me back. I knew it was cruel, but hey, I wanted him to feel bad. Does that make me a terrible person?
Probably.
But damn, I was a good actor.
Kellin’s POV
This is so fucking stupid. Why am I even doing this to him? He kissed me back, so he should feel the same way i do… right? I haven’t let him see me for the past few days because I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’ve been pissed about the book and at war with myself about my feelings for Vic. A lot of the time I would either be deep in thought or just sit and listen to him. I loved his voice. It calmed me down, especially when I felt stressed over something.
I heard the gate creak and watched as Vic sauntered in, his hands in his pockets and his head down. I paced as I listened.
"So...Kellin," he sighed. "I've tried so fucking hard. I'm sorry. We just can't find it. And honestly, maybe it's better that we didn't."
I stopped in my tracks. Better that you didn’t? What the fuck?!
"I'm going to be honest here, Kells. It doesn't seem like you want anything to do with me anymore. And I'm okay with that-really, I am. I mean, I kind of figured it would happen sooner or later." He said, running his fingers through that curly mop head of his.
He’s lost his mind. I could never lose interest in him…. ever.
"These past weeks talking to you have been really fucking amazing,” I smiled, “but we're going to leave soon. Sooner than I thought. You helped me open up to my family and talk again, and even though I haven't been speaking to them for the past few days, I want to thank you for that. I'm not sure if I'll speak to them again after we're back in San Diego-I probably won't. But hey, that's alright." A few tears spilled over but I quickly wiped them away even though he couldn’t see them.
"We're leaving in a few days, and I'm sorry, but I've given up. I seem to be the only one who wants this, and I can't have that. Not when I care so much about you and it seems like you don't give a damn about me. But it's alright that you don't-- no one does."
I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me and I couldn’t breathe. I was angry and sad and frustrated, yet I could so easily forgive him. I didn’t want to let him leave. I was feeling all those things but when I looked back on our time together I realized how much he meant to me. His laughter and smile brightened my world and the kiss we shared might have been awkward at first but it was perfection. I cant lose him.
“...I guess this is goodbye, Kellin." He whispered.
That simple sentence yanked me out of my thoughts. I froze, watching as he made his way towards the gate. I focused and made myself visible.
“I’m sorry.”
He turned, and smiled, “I knew you’d come around.”
I ignored him and the tears streaming down my face, “I’m s-so sorry I made you wait this long and I’m sorry you c-couldn’t find the book but I don’t care a-about the book anymore. I’m s-sorry that you feel like I don’t c-care because I do, Vic. I r-really do.”
Now, he was standing in front of me, and he held out his hand waiting for me to grab it. I did and took my chance.
“A-And I’m sorry I’m dead and that I-I’m doing this to you but y-you have to know that I-I love you, Vic.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Whoops. Sorry not sorry.