Hold On Till May

4. his sexuality and preferred condiment

"Oh my god, he's insane," Tay murmured under her breath. Needless to say, it wasn't as inaudible as she had hoped, and Alex definitely caught it all. He glared at her and shrugged, then made a beeline to his kitchen. Tay looked at me and mouthed "what the hell?" breathlessly. I kept my deadpanned look at a fixed point, not even knowing what to say in such an improbable circumstance.

How the hell do you respond to that?

"You guys hungry or something?" Alex asked, breaking my train of thoughts. I flustered back into reality and stumbled for words to use. Tay gave me a strained stare and shook her head vigorously, implying our breakfast-at-McDonald's still stands.

"Uh no thanks, we're just gonna catch something to eat on the way back," I responded, barely. Tay looked pleased with my answer, and just nodded in support. Alex exchanged glances between the both of us before taking a swing of milk from the carton. I guess it was alright, considering he lived alone. As his arm brought the gallon to his mouth though, the scars on his wrist became more visible than ever, considering his t-shirt and Sunday morning strips of sunlight. I instantly felt uncomfortable for noticing, and I couldn't help but wonder if Tay noticed them too. When I looked towards my left though, Tay was busy on her phone - that's a good thing, right?

Alex set the gallon back in the fridge and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. I couldn't help but notice how sleep-deprived and utterly sunken his whole appearance portrayed. Everything about him screamed tired, whether that was from a Saturday night party, or just life in general - I really couldn't know either with Alex. And I honestly have no idea what went over me, but I started to have deep empathy for the guy, despite the fact I knew it was wrong. The last thing he probably wants is pity, yet there I go, offering him some more social time.

"Hey, you wanna come with us?"

It's out of my mouth before I even think, and I cringe right afterwards. Hopefully he wouldn't take it the wrong way, because in all actuality, he was a cool dude... sort of. I wasn't sure why he decided to lie about a relative's death, that was uncanny, but maybe he had good reason? Frankly, I doubt it, but if it takes a Breakfast Burrito to get something out of this guy, then McDonald's it is.

"To McDonald's?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

I nod nervously, giving him a hopeful grin. I look over at Tay to see her expression but it's plain vanilla. She doesn't care who tags along, as long as I keep my end of the bargain intact. Thinking now though, it must have been around ten thirty, who knows when breakfast ends.

"Uh, I don't know-"

"It's just breakfast," Tay interrupted, a light chuckle under her breath, "we aren't asking you to meet our damn parents, just get dressed so we can make it on time."

I nodded in agreement and after around a second or two of thoughtful silence, Alex sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He disappeared into the hallway, probably to get ready, as Tay and I stood in saturated silence. From formerly standing beside me, Tay transitioned to shifting in front of me with her arms crossed and eyebrows perked.

I shrugged, "What?"

"Why are we here? What happened last night?"

I started to clam up from the question, because I was not, in any way, going to tell Tay how Alex and I met. It's not necessarily a topic to discuss on a Sunday morning, or any day for that matter. This was obviously not something Alex wanted me to pass around like mashed potatoes at a Thanksgiving dinner - not even I was supposed to find out. Still, here I am...

"I'm not talking about it, alright, so drop it, I mean it Tay, drop it. Don't bring it up or I'll stop putting the toilet seat down."

"You never put the toilet seat down."

"I try..." She rolled her eyes, but no where near confident was I that she wouldn't bring it up in the next hour or so. I gripped her forearms, made her look me straight in the eye, and lowered/slowed down my voice. "I mean it Tay, you'd regret bring it up."

After around a second of her and I just staring intently, she sighed in frustration and squirmed out of my hold. She managed to escape quickly and pull on her signature pouty-face when things didn't go her way. I was just relieved she decided to drop it, God knows how persistent and awkward Tay would have been.



McDonald's was quiet and very barren. Tay lounged for the front counter and immediately scanned her eyes on the menu above. I, at my own pace, strode alongside Alex as he continued to fidget with his sleeve. He looked nervous everywhere his eyes landed. I was just trying to ignore it.

"Breakfast just ended, I'm sorry."

I heard it from feet away, the cashier was breaking some bad news to Tay. She began babbling about how she desperately craved their Hot Cakes, but the employee didn't buy it. Tay's mocha eyes glazed over my direction, the rim burning with aggravation.

"Make them change their minds!" She insisted, immaturely.

I scoffed, "Like hell I am. C'mon, just order a Happy Meal, maybe it'll influence your crabby mood."

"You promised breakfast."

"I never promised anything."

I could sense the irritation pulsing around her, giving off this venomous vibe. I wasn't very alarmed though, living with Tay gets you used to people with anger problems. I shrugged my shoulders and gave her a sloppy smile, one she returned with a flick of her obscene finger. That's when I noticed an emptiness by my side, and as I turned to face my left, I found Alex was gone. I furrowed my brow and looked at Tay.

"Where'd he go?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"There, go order now," Alex suddenly said as he emerged obliviously behind Tay. She jumped at the sudden voice but turned around in confusion. She shook her head.

"Breakfast ended--"

"Well now it's not, go ahead." He nudged his head the counters direction with a bored face, very different from the one he wore seconds ago. I couldn't help but wonder if Alex had mood swings, it'd explain a lot. Tay narrowed her brow but tugged on a small, hopeful smile. She walked over to the counter and as her lips moved, sure enough, the cashier nodded and smiled. I twisted my face into confusion and looked at Alex.

"Why the sudden change of mind?"

"She and I go back," He shrugged, then darkly added, "way back."

I frowned in dismay, I hated how I didn't know what this guy was talking about half of the time. It's like he spoke in a foreign language he made with his third grade best friend and no one else knows the code. I shake the thoughts away, I was digging way too deep.

After ordering the food, we all settled in a booth near the back corner. It was a semi-circle shaped booth, with Tay smack-dab in the middle and Alex and I both sitting on the opposite ends, facing each other. Eating was silent, maybe a tad awkward, but not so much - our mouths were just full. Finally, after around an eternity of quiet, Tay decided to break it.

"So Alex, are you gay?"

My initial instinct was to crawl under the table and die from Tay's embarrassing question, but instead I decided to kick her beneath the table. She winced at the pain and gave me a malicious expression. I gave her a pointed look, along with panic and humiliation.

"Excuse me?' He was laughing, lightly, but it was still laughing, right? Was that a good thing?

"Ya know, gay, do you swing the other way? Enter through the backdoor? Wear briefs instead of boxers-"

"Dude!"

"What? It's just a question..."

Tay rolled her eyes as I sat in my own turmoil, just mentally cursing myself for ever letting Tay get up this morning. Still, if it weren't for her, I might have never had the guts to knock on Alex's door. I wondered if that was a good thing...

"Um, well I'm not, to answer your awkward question," He replied. Tay nodded and continued to dig into her Hash Brown and coffee. I just picked at my Egg McMuffin, not really finding the appetite to finish it. My eating schedule has been off, I've noticed this and so has Tay, but I just think it's a temporary fluke.

"I'm gonna go get some ketchup," He announced. He soon got up and walked over to the condiments counter, leaving Tay and I alone. I glared at her as she chewed nonchalantly on a piece of pancake. Finally catching that I was staring at her, she sighed and slumped.

"Okay, okay, I know, I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? What the hell are you doing?"

"I was trying to be your wing man-"

I groaned and let my head fall in my hands. "It's not like that, T, it's nothing like that."

"Oh," She said, softly. Her voice dropped an octave, "Sorry."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. In the end, I guess it wasn't a big deal. At least now I knew Alex wasn't gay, that's always a very precious piece of information. Still, I couldn't lie; I was a little disappointed.

Alex's figure started to walk back, but with the small cup of ketchup in his hands, he seemed vastly annoyed. "Piece of shit didn't give me anything," He complained. Shaking his head and plopping the cup on his tray, he began to settle himself down. But before he could, he said loudly, for the employees to obviously hear, "The ketchup dispenser sucks!"

Tay and I shared a genuine chuckle as Alex just slumped in his chair and pushed the tray away. His face sulked with the absence of his preferred condiment and honestly, it was pretty laughable.

"I like him," Tay whispered towards me. I chuckled under my breath and watched as Alex continued to play with a loose thread on his sleeve. In the process of tugging on it, he exposed some disfigured flesh and my smile slowly vanished. I looked back at Tay, who was already expecting me to say something. I just shrugged and gave a small, plastic smile.

"Yeah, he's okay."