Scars

Niall stood nervously on the porch of a small white house. His eyes glued to the doorbell as he willed himself to push it. Liam was scanning the streets as he waited quietly. When Niall didn’t move, he leaned forward and pushed the bell himself. “We don’t have time to stand out here, Ni.” Niall didn’t say a thing, he just nodded and watched the door as his heart beat against his chest.

Light brown eyes met his as the door opened. He felt the butterflies flutter in his stomach. A familiar smile met her face and he managed to relax more. “Niall?” She asked, stepping out, her long brown hair swinging behind her. “What are you doing here?” Her long thin arms wrapped around his neck. Before he could hug her back, she turned to Liam. “Hi, I’m Katherine, but call me Kate or Katie.” She reached out to shake his hand, but Liam smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

“Katie, I’ve heard so much about you.” Liam turned to Niall, “You never told us how pretty she was.”

Katie blushed and shrugged, “Okay, well…come in.” The boys walked in the door and looked around the living room. The walls were painted a deep red and there were pictures of different things framed in black. Liam looked closely at a picture of Niall when he was younger. “Mackenzie has always been into photography, so when we designed our living room, we figured her black and white photos would look great.”

“They are beautiful. Though you’ve got one that’s kind of scary!” He pointed to Niall’s face and the boy stuck his tongue out at his friend.

“Where is Kenz?” Niall asked curiously as he sat down on the black leather sofa.

Mackenzie stormed from the kitchen and gasped as her green eyes found the two boys. “Niall!” She booked to where he sat and found herself on his lap in a tight hug. “Why didn’t you call or something?”

“I know how you love surprises.” He spoke sarcastically, picking a piece of her short brown hair from his mouth. The girl just made a face and pushed herself to her feet. “This is Liam.” Niall poked his finger in the direction of his band mate.

Mackenzie walked over and gave him a hug as well. “I know who he is. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t know about your band?”

Liam hugged the girl back and turned to the pictures again, “You have a great eye, we should hire you for our photoshoots from now on.” Liam turned his attention back to Kenzie and smiled, “I’m sure you saw the Seventeen pictures, they were pretty horrible.”

“What about the ones that made Niall look like an elderly man?” Kate blurted. Niall scrunched his nose up and shook his head, “You’ve got a six pack now? Kenz, our scrawny little friend has grown up.”

The girls awed in unison and continued to pick on the boy. Liam watched with a smile on his face. It was nice to see how Niall lived before One Direction. This being the first time anyone has ever bothered with his best friends, he was shocked to find them so…attractive.

“Okay, you’ve both got to stay for dinner. We’re just ordering some pizza, but it’ll be great.” Katie turned to Liam, hoping he’d stay, she felt slightly bad about leaving him from most of the conversation. “We can watch a movie.”

“Like old times.” Mackenzie added, standing from the chair she managed to find herself in.

Liam accepted the offer. It was hard to refuse pizza and a movie with two attractive girls and his friend.

The girls had ordered a couple pepperoni pizzas and started digging through the endless stack of Disney movies. The boys watched as they debated. If it were up to them, they’d grab the one on top and deal with it. When the pizza arrived, Niall fetched it, paying for it and tipping the driver.

Mackenzie and Katie gave him dirty looks when he wouldn’t accept their money. He wouldn’t even take just their share of the bill. But they should have been used to it, it was like this every time. Niall was the gentleman, and they loved that about him. They’d go to the movies and Niall would spend every bit of cash he had on food and tickets for them. He’d take them out to mini golf and bowling. Not once did he accept anything. He always promised, “One day, I will be famous. I’ll take care of us all.”

Niall did it, he was famous, but the promise was broken. In years, the girls didn’t get a visit or a call. He would talk about his two best friends, but he’d keep their names out. He didn’t want the pap all over them, he wanted them to have a normal life.

It was safe to say the boy never did forget their birthdays. The last one that came up, Mackenzie got a new camera. Katie got an online gift card to her favorite fabric store in London. Niall was the best friend, despite never seeing him or talking to him, he always seemed to be doing little things for them.

He never forgot about them, he was just busy. After a while of not having time, he was worried that they would never accept him back if he just showed up. He wasn’t there for them, why would they? But he didn’t have that to worry about now. He was sitting in their living room, eating pizza and watching Mulan. The girls on either side of him and his best mate from the band next to Katie. It was nice.

When the movie finished, the boys silently cleaned up. They were a bit far from their destination. They figured if they left now, they would have time to visit others before taking a flight back to London later that day. When they collected their things and headed for the door, Mackenzie and Katie were shaking their heads. “Stay the night. Kenz and I will share my room and you two can take hers. No need to rush yourselves.”

Niall couldn’t refuse. They all changed and sat up to watch one more movie. When it was over, Liam headed to bed and the three just sat up and talked. They would talk about their jobs and memories. Before they knew it, time had gone by. It was nearing sunrise and Katie had to go to school in a few hours.

The girl got one last hug before heading to bed. Niall yawned and turned to Mackenzie. “I should probably go to bed as well.” She smiled and played with her fingers nervously. “You okay, Kenz?”

“I just….” She shrugged and shook her head. Niall wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against his side. She nuzzled against his shoulder and sighed, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Niall gazed at the blank TV screen.

Mackenzie closed her eyes, thinking of the right way to go about what she wanted to do. “I love you, Niall.”

“I love you too.” He replied with a smile.

“No, not…I love you like a friend. Niall, I love you as more than a friend.” Niall went to pull away from her, but her lips hungrily attacked his. Her mouth moved alone as Niall sat there dumbfounded. Question marks filled his head. He gently placed his hand on her sides and pushed her back.

She looked offended, which was fair enough. Niall didn’t kiss her back or show any emotion toward her. “I don’t like you like that, Mackenzie.” Her heart began shattering. “You’re my best friend and all, but I’ve never felt that way about you.”

“You like her, don’t you?” Mackenzie looked at the ground and covered her face. “It’s always been Katie. She gets the cute nickname, the first hug, the first phone call.” Niall didn’t say anything. “Well, Horan? Are you going to answer me?”

“Classic Mackenzie. Always having a fit when things don’t go her way.” Niall stood from where they sat. “I’m going outside for a bit. Maybe you should get to bed.” Niall turned from her as her face grew red.

He stepped out the back door and planted himself on the cool damp grass. He sat there for hours and watched the sunrise. Thinking about everything. For the first time, there was not a single sound to interrupt him. His phone was off, his fans had no idea where he was and no one was waking him up to do a thing. It was just him and the morning sun.

He heard Katie get up before he realized what time it was. She was bustling through the kitchen. Niall didn’t move until he heard the kettle whistle. He picked himself up and strode in like it was just a normal day.

Katie smiled as she saw him. Her makeup was cleaned from her face and her long brown hair was a mess. She tied the mane into a loose ponytail and hugged Niall. “Cup of tea?” She asked, grabbing a cup without waiting for an answer. “Pick your poison.” She nodded her head to the canister of tea bags.

Niall poked through them before grabbed a lemon and ginger one. “You have my favorite!” He said cheerfully.

“You know my obsession with ginger. I tend to make ginger tea myself, but on lazy days, I grab one of those.” She poured the hot water into two cups and handed him one, grabbing Earl Gray for herself. “You never told me why you came to visit.” She stared into the cup and twirled the teabag around.

Niall shrugged, “I got your letter, the one you gave to my guys at the London show. You traveled pretty far.”

“I was going to London that day anyway. I needed to pick up some fabric. Thanks for the present, by the way. It’s the only reason I can get my line ready for observation.” She made a face.

“Observation?”

Katie took a sip of her tea and smiled, “It’s not a big deal, but this company in London saw my portfolio and wants a fall line from me. They are thinking of signing me on.”

“Really? That’s so great!” Niall abandoned his cup of tea and lifted Katie by her waist in a huge bear hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I don’t understand how they got a copy of my portfolio anyway. It’s just stuff I did in school.” Niall smiled innocently and started drinking his tea, tossing the bag aside. “Niall, you didn’t.” She eyed him. His blue eyes sparkled from behind the rim of the cup as he poured more tea in. “You did. You shouldn’t have.” She brought her hands to her mouth and covered them, “How do I repay you for that?”

He laughed and shook his head, “You don’t. I got a copy of your portfolio from the school, gave them to my stylist and she did the work.”

“Thank you.” Her hand lifted as she took another sip of her tea, Niall’s eyes were drawn to her wrist. “What?” Katie asked, noticing the saddened look on his face. She quickly brought her hand back down and turned to walk away. “I need to get ready for class.”

Niall reached for her, but she had sprinted away, leaving him to try and process what he had seen. Before he had the chance to talk to her again, she was gone.

Despite the tight schedule they were supposed to follow, Niall and Liam didn’t leave. Liam pushed for Niall to go with him, but he continuously refused. “I need to talk to her.” Was all he said.

Even Kenz tried to get him to leave. She was still upset about what happened early that morning and it was easy for her to tell him to leave. But he would and she knew why. He saw her scars. Katie’s wrists were littered with them. She had been pretty bad off since Niall left. Actually, she’d been horrible before that. She just didn’t show it. She hid the scars and put on a smile.

Kate was the definition of broken. Nothing seemed to go right for her. Her mother was killed in a car accident and her father took a gun to his head not long later. Aunt Meg took her in after, but she was obsessed with perfection. Katie had to have the best grades and a sparkling personality. She didn’t accept anything less. There couldn’t be a single thing wrong with her.

She had enough of it after high school. Both her and Mackenzie worked and worked until they had enough money to support themselves. The moment they found an apartment, they were gone. They packed their bags and started a life on their own.

It was about a month into their living together that Mackenzie found out about Katie. She had a huge panic attack. She broke down and started cutting. She was crying in the bathroom, a piece of glass in one hand and blood slowly running down the other.

Mackenzie tried all she could, with constant pushes in the right direction, she got Katie into therapy and she was working towards recovery. It was the show in London that really helped her. Seeing Niall put her in a good place. After that, Katie worked on dealing with her problems through words, not self harm.

The scars were still visible, though. Katie had forgotten about them. She started school and worked on becoming the amazing fashion designer she dreamed of being.

Everything was looking up. A big London designer had seen and loved her stuff. She was slowly becoming someone worth living, someone she could stand being.

She didn’t feel the need to tell Niall about any of it. He was doing so well. Singing, traveling the world. He was living his dream. The one thing he always wanted. There wasn’t a day he didn’t talk about becoming a famous singer. Katie didn’t want to worry him. No reason in distracting him from his life. The life that he needed to devote every ounce of his energy to. She wasn’t going to be the reason he was slacking.

Time seemed to have slowed down. What seemed like hours, was only minutes. When lunchtime rolled around and Katie returned from class, Niall was waiting for her in the living room. “Talk to me, Kitten.” He said. She wanted to walk away, but she didn’t. “What happened? What are those?” He touched her wrists.

“Don’t worry about it, Niall!” Katie threw her hands up in the air, finally deciding to walk away.

Niall lightly reached for her arm again, pulling her back to him. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

“Enjoy the couch.”

Niall placed his hands on her face and looked into her eyes. “I will not leave you. You need to tell me what is going on. I need to help you!”

“No, you don’t. I’m not your problem anymore. Leave, Niall. Leave and don’t come back.”

The words hit him like a ton of bricks. “I won’t! I won’t leave. I love you. Fucking hell, Katherine, I’m staying here until you talk to me.” He felt his eyes fill with tears, but he pushed them back.

It didn’t help, Katie was crying now and it made him break. He dropped his hands from her face and pulled her against his chest. She didn’t fight him, she didn’t move, she didn’t even speak. All she could do was cry. Crying was exactly what she needed.

Niall held her until she calmed down. Slowly, small sentences came out. Little by little, he was able to put together the whole story. When she finished speaking, she left him on the couch and went to change.

Niall found Liam in the kitchen. He sat at the table with a cup of tea, his laptop placed in front of him as he Skyped with the other boys. “Seriously?” The two boys stood to see what was happening. Niall found his way into the girl’s bedroom. “You’re just an attention seeking whore!” Mackenzie spat.

Without hesitation, Katie lunged forward, giving Niall only a split second to reach out and hold her back. “Attention seeking? You think I left scars all over my wrists for attention?” She had tears spilling from her eyes. Her thin body was pressed against Niall’s muscular one as he held her tight, trying to prevent the potential cat fight that was brewing.

Katie scratched at her wrists and fought against Niall. “I’m screwed up more than you know, Kenz! At least I have a reason to be pissed at the world.” Katie bent over, her elbows against her knees as she tried to calm the gasping breaths coming from deep within her.

With ease, Niall lifted the petite girl and carried her away. “Handle Mackenzie.” He nodded at Liam while sitting on the couch with Katie in his lap as he hugged her tight. “Relax, Kitten.” But she didn’t listen. Her hands were beating against his chest, grabbing his arms, trying to get free. “Katie! Stop.” He begged. His heart breaking little by little.

In an instant, her body went limp as she looked up at his cloudy sky blue eyes. “I didn’t steal you.”

Niall pulled her close and sighed, “I’ve always loved you, Katie. No matter what Kenzie says, it’s always been you.” He shook his head and sighed again. “When I left for X-Factor, I didn’t expect to lose touch with you or Kenz. I figured we’d always be near each other and happy. I was scared to ask you out, but I knew if I came home a failure, you’d never want me. I never expected that I’d be so caught up in singing and the guys…that I’d be too busy for you.” He rested his forehead against her shoulder. “Kitten, I’ve never stopped wanting you. Not once. No matter how many pretty girls I see begging for my attention, fawning over me…I’ll always want my screwed up, scarred little Kitten.”

Katie sat there confused. This was the reason Mackenzie was mad at her? “It’s time for you to leave, Niall. I-I can’t do this. Not now. I am not emotionally ready for a relationship. I like you, Niall. I really do. But right now is not the time for this. It’s best.” She pushed herself from his lap and looked at the ground. “Goodbye, Niall.”

Katie walked out the door. Niall wanted to look for her, but Liam took charge. Katie wanted to be alone. This was supposed to be a trip down memory lane for Niall, Liam tagged along for moral support, but in the end, it wasn’t the case. He wasn’t moral support, he was the much needed reasoning they all needed.

The best thing to do, for all of them, was to take Niall back to London. Whatever happened after that, was beyond him. If they made up, good. But if they didn’t…there was nothing he could do. Liam could just watch hopelessly and try to help his friend.