The Avengers Therapy Session
The Session ~~(*0*)~~
THERAPIST: Hello, Loki, how are you?
LOKI: I’ll never tell… mmwhahahah…. Mhmhmhm….
THERAPIST: I won’t ask then. Do you know where the others are then?
LOKI: My brother and his Puny Posy? Not here.
THERAPIST: I can see that, Loki.
(THOR WALKS IN)
THOR: Sorry, every one, the traffic was just… un-called for.
LOKI: like you then?
THOR: (sits down) nice to see you too, brother.
LOKI: Stop calling be that you buffoon! I am adopted for Christ sake!
THOR: You’re still a type of brother!
LOKI: We’re not blood related, thank the Gods.
THOR: I am the God.
LOKI: And me, don’t you forget.
THOR: No, you’re a giant snowman.
THERAPIST: I’m sorry, but you lost me at “brother”.
THOR: He’s adopted, Father chose me to be king and he went on a strop.
LOKI: I won a war for you!
THOR: You killed an entire race!
LOKI: But you were going to do that anyway!
(IRON MAN WALKS IN)
IRON MAN: You know, they may not be brothers, but they sure do sound like some.
(LOKI AND THOR PULL FACES)
THERAPIST: oh, thank God you’re here.
THOR: You’re welcome.
LOKI: I think she was talking to me, "brother".
IRON MAN: Shouldn’t we put them in separate rooms or something to stop him from growing antlers…?
LOKI: They’re not antlers, you buffoon, they’re just…
THOR: It does not matter what they are, because not even he knows what they are.
LOKI: I know that they are not antlers.
IRON MAN: You’re sure about that one?
LOKI: Yes, I am Tin Man.
IRON MAN: You’ve seen Wizard of Oz? Seriously?
LOKI: I like to call it research.
(HULK WALKS IN, PULLING THE DOOR OFF ITS HINGES)
IRON MAN: Hey, big guy, try not to kill the door.
(LOKI SHUFFLES TO THE END OF THE COUCH)
(HULK SITS DOWN) HULK: Puny God.
IRON MAN: Door Killer’s got a point.
THERAPIST: So, now that most of you are here, would any of you like to tell me what I’m here for?
THOR: You mean Tony did not tell you?
IRON MAN: I did tell her. I told her the day and time. And that she should come early in case The Grinch here does a runner.
LOKI: You are talking about me?
THERAPIST: Ok, so obviously no one likes Loki, right?
(HAWK EYE COMES IN THROUGH THE WINDOW)
HAWK EYE: Depends on whose side you’re on.
THERAPIST: Could you all just stop destroying the Therapy Room? Please?
HAWK EYE: Just making an entrance. Sorry, bad habits die hard.
LOKI: They do, don’t they?
THERAPIST: You have a habit of trying to destroy worlds?
LOKI: Ruling worlds. Soon… When I’m out of these shackles… Every one will kneel before me… And then…
(BLACK WIDOW WALKS IN)
LOKI: Oh, look whose here! It’s the mewling quim!
BLACK WIDOW: Does any one mind if I shoot this guy?
IRON MAN: Ladies first.
LOKI: I am immortal you fool.
BLACK WIDOW: Just checking. Wastes a bullet, anyway.
IRON MAN: So, where’s Billy Eliot got to?
HULK: C’p’tin Am’rica?
IRON MAN: yeah, the dude in the leotard.
THERAPIST: You have something against him?
THOR: (LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW) Looks like you are about to find out.
THRAPIST: (SIGHS) He’s not coming through the other window, is he?
THOR: No, he's walking through the front door.
THERAPIST: Thank god.
LOKI: (MUMBLES) You're welcome...
(CAPTAIN AMERICA WALKS IN)
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Lovely place you’ve got here, Tony.
IRON MAN: And that’s a great Leotard you’re wearing.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: (STAIRS INTO IRON MAN’S EYES)
IRON MAN: (LOOKS BACK)
THERAPIST: And… is that everyone?
HULK: Gr.
LOKI: wrong, I am not here.
THERAPIST: I’m sorry?
(IRON MAN LEANS FORWARD AND PUNCHES LOKI. THE IMAGE FUZZES AND FADES)
IRON MAN: And that’s exactly why we have windows.
HAWK EYE: I told you, bad habits.
THOR: Never mind bad habits. Hulk and Iron man, go and look in other rooms of the building, the rest follow me, there’s got to be a banana stand somewhere around here.
THERAPIST: Why a banana stand? There’s so many of you going there.
THOR: Because that’s most likely where he’ll be.
(THOR DOES THE HAMMER TIME AND FLIES OUT OF THE OTHER WINDOW)
(BLACK WIDOW JUMPS OUT AND PULLS A PARACHUTE)
(HULK SHOULDER BARGES OUT OF THE WALL)
(HAWK EYE JUMPS ON HIS BACK)
(IRON MAN FLIES OUT OF THE SMASHED WINDOW)
(CAMPTAIN *see what I did there?* AMERICA WALKS OUT OF WHAT USED TO BE THE DOOR)
THERAPIST: Buffons... (THE IMAGE FLICKERS AND INSTEAD OF THE THERAPIST, LOKI IS SAT IN THE CHAIR, STROKING HIS GOLDEN ANTLERS.)
LOKI: I’ll never tell… mmwhahahah…. Mhmhmhm….
THERAPIST: I won’t ask then. Do you know where the others are then?
LOKI: My brother and his Puny Posy? Not here.
THERAPIST: I can see that, Loki.
(THOR WALKS IN)
THOR: Sorry, every one, the traffic was just… un-called for.
LOKI: like you then?
THOR: (sits down) nice to see you too, brother.
LOKI: Stop calling be that you buffoon! I am adopted for Christ sake!
THOR: You’re still a type of brother!
LOKI: We’re not blood related, thank the Gods.
THOR: I am the God.
LOKI: And me, don’t you forget.
THOR: No, you’re a giant snowman.
THERAPIST: I’m sorry, but you lost me at “brother”.
THOR: He’s adopted, Father chose me to be king and he went on a strop.
LOKI: I won a war for you!
THOR: You killed an entire race!
LOKI: But you were going to do that anyway!
(IRON MAN WALKS IN)
IRON MAN: You know, they may not be brothers, but they sure do sound like some.
(LOKI AND THOR PULL FACES)
THERAPIST: oh, thank God you’re here.
THOR: You’re welcome.
LOKI: I think she was talking to me, "brother".
IRON MAN: Shouldn’t we put them in separate rooms or something to stop him from growing antlers…?
LOKI: They’re not antlers, you buffoon, they’re just…
THOR: It does not matter what they are, because not even he knows what they are.
LOKI: I know that they are not antlers.
IRON MAN: You’re sure about that one?
LOKI: Yes, I am Tin Man.
IRON MAN: You’ve seen Wizard of Oz? Seriously?
LOKI: I like to call it research.
(HULK WALKS IN, PULLING THE DOOR OFF ITS HINGES)
IRON MAN: Hey, big guy, try not to kill the door.
(LOKI SHUFFLES TO THE END OF THE COUCH)
(HULK SITS DOWN) HULK: Puny God.
IRON MAN: Door Killer’s got a point.
THERAPIST: So, now that most of you are here, would any of you like to tell me what I’m here for?
THOR: You mean Tony did not tell you?
IRON MAN: I did tell her. I told her the day and time. And that she should come early in case The Grinch here does a runner.
LOKI: You are talking about me?
THERAPIST: Ok, so obviously no one likes Loki, right?
(HAWK EYE COMES IN THROUGH THE WINDOW)
HAWK EYE: Depends on whose side you’re on.
THERAPIST: Could you all just stop destroying the Therapy Room? Please?
HAWK EYE: Just making an entrance. Sorry, bad habits die hard.
LOKI: They do, don’t they?
THERAPIST: You have a habit of trying to destroy worlds?
LOKI: Ruling worlds. Soon… When I’m out of these shackles… Every one will kneel before me… And then…
(BLACK WIDOW WALKS IN)
LOKI: Oh, look whose here! It’s the mewling quim!
BLACK WIDOW: Does any one mind if I shoot this guy?
IRON MAN: Ladies first.
LOKI: I am immortal you fool.
BLACK WIDOW: Just checking. Wastes a bullet, anyway.
IRON MAN: So, where’s Billy Eliot got to?
HULK: C’p’tin Am’rica?
IRON MAN: yeah, the dude in the leotard.
THERAPIST: You have something against him?
THOR: (LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW) Looks like you are about to find out.
THRAPIST: (SIGHS) He’s not coming through the other window, is he?
THOR: No, he's walking through the front door.
THERAPIST: Thank god.
LOKI: (MUMBLES) You're welcome...
(CAPTAIN AMERICA WALKS IN)
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Lovely place you’ve got here, Tony.
IRON MAN: And that’s a great Leotard you’re wearing.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: (STAIRS INTO IRON MAN’S EYES)
IRON MAN: (LOOKS BACK)
THERAPIST: And… is that everyone?
HULK: Gr.
LOKI: wrong, I am not here.
THERAPIST: I’m sorry?
(IRON MAN LEANS FORWARD AND PUNCHES LOKI. THE IMAGE FUZZES AND FADES)
IRON MAN: And that’s exactly why we have windows.
HAWK EYE: I told you, bad habits.
THOR: Never mind bad habits. Hulk and Iron man, go and look in other rooms of the building, the rest follow me, there’s got to be a banana stand somewhere around here.
THERAPIST: Why a banana stand? There’s so many of you going there.
THOR: Because that’s most likely where he’ll be.
(THOR DOES THE HAMMER TIME AND FLIES OUT OF THE OTHER WINDOW)
(BLACK WIDOW JUMPS OUT AND PULLS A PARACHUTE)
(HULK SHOULDER BARGES OUT OF THE WALL)
(HAWK EYE JUMPS ON HIS BACK)
(IRON MAN FLIES OUT OF THE SMASHED WINDOW)
(CAMPTAIN *see what I did there?* AMERICA WALKS OUT OF WHAT USED TO BE THE DOOR)
THERAPIST: Buffons... (THE IMAGE FLICKERS AND INSTEAD OF THE THERAPIST, LOKI IS SAT IN THE CHAIR, STROKING HIS GOLDEN ANTLERS.)