Population 801

When someone decides that they don't like you anymore, its human nature to sit and analyze yourself. You try to think of what about yourself made them decide that they didn't like you anymore. Was it something you said? Something you did? A mistake you made? After a who you stop analyzing and you start obsessing. You start to change little things about yourself fearing that they make you an unlikable person. Maybe they do, maybe they don't; but they make you who you are.

Kellin didn't care if they made him who he was. He didn't care if changed every aspect of himself as long as he could figure out why Vic didn't like him anymore. Vic tried to let it slide, he didn't say anything when Kellin stopped wearing his signature band shirts. He didn't mind when Kellin stopped parting his hair on the right side. But it took everything in him not to say anything when Kellin stopped video taping.

As much as he would deny it, Kellin is pretty well known in Denning. Everyone knows about his videos and everyone is secretly hoping that one day he really will make it out of their small town. Vic noticed before everyone else, of course, but soon enough everyone in school were all talking about Kellin's sudden disinterest in his video camera.

Its been a week, and Vic is still determined to just let Kellin figure it out himself.

* * * flashback * * *
"Have you seen the new family?" Kellin's mother asked around the dinner table. It was the day that Vic had stopped talking to Kellin and he wasn't in the mood to talk about Vic. "Well I suppose they aren't that new anymore but..."

"They're the closest thing to new we've seen around here in a while." Kellin mumbled. He couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more right now than curl up in a ball on his bed, but he knew that wouldn't fly, so he decided to get as much information as he could. "What even happened to Mrs. Jensen anyways?"

"I'm not sure. I think she moved to San Diego with her son." Kellin practically choked on his food.

"San Diego?" Kellin asked wiping his face. Was it just a coincidence that the family moving into the house was from the destination of the person leaving? It seemed a little weird to him, but his mother just nodded.

"Well I heard..." Kellin's father spoke up, lowering his voice to a whisper. "That the boy living there is a homosexual. Can you imagine? Their soiling our town." Kellin choked again, completely forgetting that his parents didn't know about his own sexuality. He had planned on telling them if he ever decided to tell Vic about his feelings and he in fact felt the same. "Kellin, chew your food for Pete's sake boy."

"Sorry. Um, can I be excused? I have a test to study for." He hurried out of the dinning room and into his bedroom. He had to talk to Vic. He had to make Vic change his mind and talk to him again. But he couldn't do that. He had messed up. He did something wrong. Why would Vic decide he suddenly hated him? What reasoning was there? What was wrong with Kellin?

"Ahhhh!" Kellin groaned in frustration pulling on his hair. "What did I do Vic?! I am trying so hard! I don't know what to do anymore! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I'm so boring and bland and I'm sorry I'm not perfect but I'm trying! I'm willing to try!" He said to the air of his bedroom. He knew Vic couldn't hear him but at this point he was talking more to himself, apologizing to himself, trying to understand himself. "I'm sorry nothing changes here! I'm sorry that I am most likely stuck here for the rest if my life just like everyone else! I wish I was good enough to actually follow my dreams but I'm not! I never will be! And in all honesty Vic, I wouldn't want to be friends with me either. I wouldn't want to be with me either. I've always dreamed of getting out of this town but... maybe I just want to get away from myself."

Kellin sat on his bed and let the tears fall from his eyes. He wanted to get away from himself. He was becoming exactly what he hated- a product of Denning. So he got off of his ass and he changed. Vic didn't like him, and so he was gonna change. He walked to his closet and grabbed an old flannel that he hadn't worn in years and changed into it. He had to start small. Then he walked to his bathroom and looked at his hair. For as long as he could remember he had parted it in the same spot and done the shaggy look. So he switched the part and flattened it out. It would take some getting used to, but he needed the change.

There was one more thing he was determined to change about himself. The thing that started this whole mess. It brought Kellin and Vic together and it tore them apart. Without the interview they wouldn't have started talking and without the kiss they might not have stopped. He walked to his backpack and reached inside until he felt the familiar metal object that was his camera. He looked at it for awhile before deciding that this was what he should do. He took it over to his closet and stored it away on the top shelf where it stayed.

* * * Normal Time * * *

"Come on, Kel, it'll be fun. We're all here. You can even bring your camera!" Gabe tried to convince Kellin to join the guys for some Fink Rink practice. Kellin had been pretty isolated since Vic stopped talking to him and everyone was noticing. As much as he didn't want to leave his house, Kellin knew it wasn't healthy for him to sit and sulk like this.

"Fine. I'm leaving right now. But I'm not bringing my camera." He hung up before Jesse could argue. He was still determined to remain a new person, even if Vic still wouldn't talk to him. He grabbed his skates and hockey stick from the garage before heading down the street towards Fink Lake. It was freezing outside as 9 o'clock rolled around, but the chill felt nice against Kellin's pale face. He decided to walk mostly because that way he could think more.

He was supposed to be going to Fink with Vic. He was supposed to be practicing with Vic. He was supposed to be taking dumb videos in his dumb band shirts with the dumb boy that he had latched on to. He hated this new him. He hated the flannels and he hated the hair and he missed his camera. He was thinking about how much his new situation sucked when he heard a car horn. Confused, he turned around to see a car speeding down the street and a figure standing directly in its path.

Kellin broke out into a sprint, running as fast as he could toward the stranger. When he reached the figure he tackled him into a strangers lawn right as the car passed.

"Huh?" The person said sleepily.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Kellin said looking down on an extremely tired Vic.

"Kellin? What are you doing? Where are we?" Vic looked around confused, sitting up beside Kellin.

"You tell me what we're doing Vic. I just had to move your sleepwalking ass out of the middle of the street because you almost became roadkill!" Vic's expression changed from confused to agitated as he glared at Kellin.

"Just stop Kellin. Don't worry about it." Vic went to stand up but Kellin grabbed his forearm.

"No, Vic. You can tell me to not worry about about your past or your lyrics but I just almost watched you get flattened by a Tahoe. You're telling me what happened and you're telling me now."