Stuck In the Middle

Selena and her older sister, Bridget, were roaming home from Creative Arts Chicago, or “The school for the talented” as Bridget liked to call it. It was midafternoon, pleasant and lucid, the sun beating down on their backs as they were strolling along the sidewalk passing apartment after apartment. Selena was dressed in her favorite worn down black fleece jacket, zipped tight; worn skinny jeans; and her favorite pair of black low-cut converse; her necklace was jingling, swaying with her movement, and her was hair whipping back and forth from the Chicago wind. On the contrary, Bridget was steadily walking with Selena, poised and confident. Her luscious auburn hair flowing with the wind as her flats clashed with the pavement. She was yammering on and on about the school day and how Margaret, her best friend, did an excellent job on her impromptu solo speech about substitute teachers; and how her improv teacher, Mr. Mcfee made her do an impromptu solo speech on trees.
“So I thought my trees improv was a little lame but Mcfee still gave me an A. But Margaret’s was definitely way better…” Bridget finally ended as she, once again, checked her phone for any new messages as she periodically did when she got bored. “You should’ve been there. So, what did your day consist of, anything exiting?” Bridget asked Selena flipping her hair back behind her ears. Selena eyed her sister looking bored and zoned out, she opened her mouth to mutter, but before she could even get a word in, Bridget’s blackberry beeped and as always, she promptly checked it. “Oh. Hold that thought Lena!” Bridget opened her text message and yelped, “NO WAY!” Bridget quickly responded, shoved her phone in her pocket, slung her bag over her shoulder and sped the rest of the way home. “I’ll see you at home!” Bridget called back as she disappeared into the horizon, the echoing of her flats still clacking on the pavement.
Selena was once again left alone, lost to a text message. “I had a great day, thanks for asking,” she mumbled to herself. Selena exhaled and quietly walked the rest of the way home, hands buried in her jacket pockets.
~~~

As she approached her doorstep, sudden wailing sounded from inside. She turned the doorknob, opening the heavy oak door, and slipped inside. She released her bag by the door and abruptly saw her mom frantically stepping down the stairs. “Selena. Oh, glad you’re home.” Ms. Thompson huffed, smoothing her black suit.
“Yeah, I just-” Selena tried to explain sticking her hand out to point to where she’d just been.
Her mother cut her off, and Selena put her hand back in her jacket. “Ah-bu-bu-bu-! Listen, please. I have to go back to the office and I need you to babysit.” Ms. Thompson then waved her arms above her head searching for her bag and coat. She checked the kitchen and continued to give direction to her daughter. “Now Lucas is sick, he came home early and he has vomited twice since then. I gave him medicine so he should be OK until I return.” Ms. Thompson reached in her bag fumbling for her keys, and her polished black heels clacked against the hard wood floor as she made her way to the door.
“Can’t you get Bridget to do some of it, like take Taylor or something?” Selena pleaded shadowing her mother’s movements to the door.
“She said she had a ton of homework…” Ms. Thompson replied reaching for the doorknob. She yanked the door open letting the sunshine seep in their stuffy house.
“Of course she does…” Selena moped rolling her eyes at her sister’s swift lie. She crossed her arms and stood on one foot leaning at the door agitated,
“Please Selena, I’ll pay you…” Ms. Thompson begged. She stepped outside and held the door open with her foot, getting ready to leave. Ms. Thompson, very impatient, tried to escape but she knew her wonderful but complaining daughter had more to say.
Selena exhaled, rolling her eyes again tapping her foot on the ground, “Do I have a choice?”
“No.” Ms. Thompson quickly retorted. She made another effort to leave, but Selena spoke up again.
“When will you be home?” Selena hesitantly asked, rubbing her arm not making eye contact with her mom.
Ms. Thompson exhaled thinking, “Oh I imagine eight o’clock, nine at the latest.” Ms. Thompson kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Bye. Love you.” Ms. Thompson quickly trotted down the walk, closing the door behind her. Selena stood, hearing the sounds of her mother’s shoes clacking on the driveway, the car door slamming, and the engine ignition. She stayed put at the door until she heard the echo of her mom’s car fade from the driveway.
~~~
Selena spun around and glided into the living room where her two-year-old sister, Taylor, was happily giggling waiting for her sister. “Hi Taylor!” Selena squeaked, smiling, picking up her younger sister. “Come on, let’s go see you ‘all so busy’ sister.” Selena cruised down the hall to Bridget’s room. She cracked open the door and there was Bridget, typing furiously on her laptop being ‘too busy’ to notice her and Taylor come in. Just as Selena suspected; Bridget was busy… busy on Facebook! She was indeed occupied, face-chatting with someone, jamming out to her I-pod, and texting. Her all-important homework was scattered about her messily made bed. Selena set Taylor down on the bed, made a hush signal to Taylor, and silently snuck up to her sister. She studied the computer screen and began to babble, “So… uh, is this the ton of homework you have to do tonight? Yes… it seems as if we coincidently have the same homework assignment.” Selena uttered studiously, rubbing her index finger and thumb against her chin as to appear scholarly.
“Don’t do that Lena. You scared me…” Bridget forcefully yanked out her ear buds and stood. Bridget, only a few years older than Selena, towered over her fifteen-year-old little sister wearing a scarlet red ruffle blouse, dark skinny jeans, and black flats; she put her hands on her hips and back sassed, “Yes… as you can see I’m very busy with my homework, so beat it!”
“Please, can you watch Taylor for me?” Selena pleaded, beginning to beg.
“No!” Bridget fired back, making a disgusted face at her younger sister. Of course, why would Bridget do anything kind for her younger sister? All Selena has done for Bridget in the past forty-eight hours is saver her hot water in the morning, make her breakfast, and do a few of her chores for her; nothing says ‘I love you’ by refusing a simple task.
“Why?” Selena whined following Bridget back to the computer.
“Because…” Bridget hesitated not having a good reason why. Selena paused for a moment and finished Bridget’s sentence.
“… Because you’re too lazy to do a little extra work? –Because lately, I’ve been doing your chores-” Selena murmured under her breath. “Because you’re too busy… or because you’re just too stuck up and insensitive to have a heart to do anything that would benefit someone’s life besides yours?” Selena bobbed her head back and forth satisfied with her comeback. She crossed her arms and relaxed, slouching to one side.
Bridget immediately popped back up and gritted, “OK that’s it!” she acted like she was going to shove her sister, but when Selena barely moved a muscle, Bridget lunged forward motioning seriously to shove her. Selena stood steady. She had more to say.
“You know things aren’t like they were!” You aren’t the only one who wishes He was back! Who wishes for things to be back when we were a family!” Selena powerfully verbalized suddenly spilling out her feelings. Ever since the divorce happened things have been rough for the Thompson family. The children still missed their beloved father and they all do not approve of their mother’s new “guy friend.” He’s never home because he is a pilot, and everyone thinks their mom is handling the divorce poorly. Selena had hot tears boiling in her eyes, making her vision watery and unclear, and her face felt hot and flushed. She began to pronounce again after a long pause of thought. “So once in your life could you stop caring about yourself for one second and help someone else for a change? Just once?” Selena begged tears spilling over her eyes and dribbling down her cheek.
Selena and Bridget stood in silence for a long while. Selena’s ears were buzzing and Taylor stared at the two agitated siblings silent and frightened.
“Come on Taylor…” Selena picked her up and left without a word. When she was out of Bridget’s sight, she wiped away her tears with the palm of her hand.
~~~
Bridget was left dumbstruck. Selena had never burst like that, it was almost chilling, but she did have a point. You aren’t the only one Bridget kept thinking. She was still paralyzed in the middle of her room, lip quivering and body warm and she felt stabbed, her heart literally aching. She mindlessly shut off her I-pod and her Blackberry, logged off Facebook and for once, opened a text book.
Selena had spoken to her in such a way that it terrified her, but at the same time inspired her to change her ways. She opened her skit book and began reciting lines, only Bridget could not concentrate. Her mind was too occupied. She set her book aside and thought what have I done? I’m the oldest; I should be the most responsible and caring. I should be the better one. I let my family fall apart. When things go bad, we stick together, not break. “I’m Sorry Selena.” Bridget called softly.
~~~
After Selena had left fled her sister’s room, she marched upstairs to check on Lucas. She nudged open the door with her shoulder and entered the dark, warm, steamy room. She set Taylor on the edge of Lucas’s bed and switched on a dim light. Lucas rolled over and squinted as the light flooded the dark stuffy room. Selena smiled and kneeled down beside her ill brother.
“How you doing?” she softly mumbled stroking Lucas’s hair. Taylor crawled up to Lucas and hugged his waist.
Lucas, looking pale and sick, glanced at Taylor then back at Selena; he cleared his throat and whispered, “Alright I guess,” he coughed and burrowed further in his covers. “Where’s Mommy?” he whined, rubbing his eye.
Taylor giggled and crawled closer, near Lucas’s head. Selena smiled and answered, “Mom had to go back to work and she won’t be back until late, but I’m here to take care of you.”
“OK,” Lucas mumbled. The vaporizer spewed steam in a rhythmic pattern every so often making Lucas flicker his eyes in and out of sleep.
“Why don’t you go back to sleep. I’ll check on you later.” Selena rose from her position and reached over to Lucas to grab Taylor. Taylor gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and reached out so Selena could lift her up.
“Bye Lucas! Feel better.” Taylor cooed waving bye to her brother. Selena closed the door and Taylor slid off her shoulder to the ground.
~~~
Selena frustrated with too many tasks to do tonight, bounced around in the kitchen making pasta, unloading the dishwasher, and trying to keep Taylor out of trouble. Taylor once again flung her sippy cup and it bounced on the floor, she laughed and clapped her hands. Selena, annoyed, rolled her eyes and grumbled something under her breath, she plastered a smile on her face and picked up Taylor’s cup of juice. “Here.” she slammed the cup on her high chair tray. “Please do not throw it anymore.”
“Kay!” Taylor smiled. When Selena turned around to tend to the pasta, Taylor deliberately knocked her cup down on the floor.
Selena bent down to pick it up again and set it on Taylor’s tray. “I mean it don’t throw it.” This time Selena watched Taylor for a second then turned to drain the pasta.
Selena fed herself and Taylor and carried her upstairs to get Taylor ready for bed. Selena battled her little sister for five minutes to get in the tub. Taylor finally gave up after Selena bribed her by giving her a small dish of ice cream before bed. She bathed and brushed her teeth---after having her ice cream, of course---and Selena read her a bed time story. Taylor dozed off half way through the story, but Selena read the whole thing, she then kissed her sister good night and tip toed out. Selena made her way to her room and began her homework.
~~~
Bridget was pacing back and forth in her room, thinking, and her father, how he had left his children, Why? He wasn’t abusive, or an alcoholic, or a terrible father. He was perfect to all of them, loved each of them. Was because of Mom? His job? His kids? Ms. Thompson had never told them why. Bridget wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek and thought about her current family. It was broken. Mom was never home and neither was the father figure of the house. Who was going to care for the little ones? Bridget suddenly realized that Selena had become the mother of the house. Since she, herself, had been too wrapped up in herself to care, Selena had been left with all of the responsibilities.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Selena.” Bridget sat on her bed and laid her head in her hands and took some deep breaths.
When she lifted her head, she made a move to go chat with her sister. She wiped away any tear trails and climbed the stairs to Selena’s room. She knocked on the door with her knuckle, “Lena? Can I come in?” Bridget stood in the doorway, talking softly making herself vulnerable.
“Enter.” Selena murmured not looking at her sister. She glanced at her Geometry book and copied down a problem.
“So, what’cha doin’?” Bridget asked feeling awkward. She sat down on Selena’s bed at stared.
“Stuff.” Selena replied acting like Bridget was invisible. She continued to do her math and ignore her stuck up sister.
They sat in silence for a while until Bridget stopped fiddling with her nails and spoke. “Selena, can we talk?” she sheepishly asked.
“What?” Selena replied still computing math problems.
“Selena… I’m sorry.” Bridget blurted out.
Selena set her pencil down and slowly spun around. “What?” she whispered.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I have been a terrible sister. I’m sorry that you have to be the responsible one. And I’m sorry that I’m too self-centered to care about our family.” Bridget panted pacing back and forth.
“Bri-” Selena huffed.
“No, Lemme finish! I know that you miss Dad too, but so do I and I’m sorry you have to suffer.”
“Bridget. I’m sorry I went off on you like that, I was just upset and I didn’t mean for all of that to be put on you. I guess I was just sick and tired of being the strong one and having to keep this family afloat, you know, while you were off not caring like we actually still had a parental guardian around.”
“I know and I’m truly sorry. And I promise that I will be more help and you won’t have to watch both siblings.” Bridget smiled.
Selena wiped a tear and smiled back at Bridget. They hugged for a while, engulfing each other with love, suddenly they saw car lights pull into the driveway. “MOM!” they both whispered.
Bridget and Selena trampled down the stairs wrapping their arms around their mom.
“Hi girls, did everything go alright?” Ms. Thompson asked setting down her things. Ms. Thompson walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and Bridget and Selena followed. They all sat at the kitchen table and smiled.
“Mom we want to talk.” Selena hesitantly stated, doodling on the table with her finger.
“OK. Fire away.” Ms. Thompson set her glass down and crossed her fingers on the table.
Selena glanced at Bridget who was staring straight back. She looked down then back up at her mother. “We want to know why you and Dad divorced. He was the world to us and you let him go.”
Things were silent for a long time. Like time had frozen, all three of them were sitting like statues. Suddenly Ms. Thompson looked down at her bare ring finger and spoke. “Girls, the reason is because… he had another family.” She looked up and both daughters were staring her down. “Your dad cheated on me, I hadn’t figured it out till this lady showed up at our door trying to return you father’s cell phone. All those times your father was working late... All that time I spent trying to take care of you kids… gosh… If-” Ms. Thompson waited for one her girls to say something. Nothing. “Well that’s the truth. He’s off somewhere living with his new family.” She got up and began to leave, but Bridget finally spoke.
“Mom? I know that you’re not always here but I want you to know that I love you and that I’m always here for you. I know that it seems like I don’t care, but that just how I show I’m upset. From now on, you can count on me to do anything.” Bridget smiled and got up to hug her mom.
“I love you too Bri. And I also love you Sel, come here” Ms. Thompson squeezed both of her children, smiling and crying. “Thank you. Thank you Bridget Scarlet-Marie for promising to be a big sister, and thank you Selena René-Jade for help keeping this roof from toppling down. I love you both very much and I very much appreciate you help.”
Ms. Thompson guided her daughters to bed and soon put herself to bed. Bridget finally started acting like a big sister, helping Selena babysit Taylor and Lucas and helping around the house by doing some chores. Selena finally had those cinder blocks lifted form her shoulders as she was able to split the responsibilities with her sister. And Ms. Thompson made an effort to always be home by seven and no later.
The Thompson family had finally built a stone wall that would never crack.