My Biggest Regret

My biggest regret would be all of the things I never did for you. I was selfish, and arrogant. I never stopped to think that maybe you would simply get tired of my lack of caring, that maybe one day you would actually leave me…I should have remembered that every day, every fucking day that I had you.

I should have showered you with love, kindness, affection, and attention. I should have shown you that you were my most precious possession. But I didn’t, and now our roles are switched. You’re as happy as can be, getting showered with admiration and attention, and me? I’m alone, and I’ve been forgotten. Funny how life has a way of getting back at you like that heh.

The other day I was eating lunch with our friends, but you weren’t there. I wanted to ask why but I simply didn’t have the heart. Jessica mentioned you first, and the moment your name passed through her lips, I…I felt a pain, stab through my chest. I had to leave without another word so that I wouldn’t crumble in front of everyone.

Everything seems to remind me of you. When I wake up in the morning I notice the significant increase in the size of my bed without you on it. As I drive our song will come on the radio, but instead of filling me with joy as it used to, I cry. Some days, I feel so lonely and broken that I have to break down emotionally, alone and in silence.

When I hear your name in public I always swiftly turn towards the person who said it, but it’s never you that they’re calling to. I always walk away dejected with my head down.
I wish I had taken the opportunity to show you how much I appreciate you when I had the chance. I would have bought you one hundred red roses on Valentine’s Day, if it would keep you around. Or in public instead of shying away from your caring gestures taken your hand, slipped my arm around your waist, and held you close. Instead of going to parties I should have stuck around and cuddled with you just like you wanted, and watched movies all night. I should have danced with you at prom just liked you’ve always dreamed of, in front of anyone who cared to watch. Twirled you and told you that you were my everything. You were my prince, and I wouldn’t want anyone else in the entire universe. Told you how beautiful you looked and kissed you softly as we swayed with your head on my chest.

But I didn’t do those things, and now I can never fix those mistakes. I can never go back in time and redo everything that I destroyed. I regret the fact that I never told you how much you meant to me, however I will never regret that you left me. Why? Because you deserve someone one-million times better than me. You deserve to be happy. And in the future I wish you the best of luck.

I hope that when you get a boyfriend that he does all the things I never did. Buy’s you flowers, holds your hand, and gives you all of his love and attention while he has the chance. And I hope he takes you to a party and holds you tight in a slow dance, just like you’ve always dreamed of doing. I hope he lets you know how amazing you really are, because I never did when I had the chance, and it is now my biggest regret.