Generation Why Bother

At this point, you’re probably noticing the lack of Johnny Cool adventures starting off the chapters. Well, at that point in my life, there was a disturbing lack of Johnny Cool’s comics, and despite the fact that Tegan and I had begun to reread the comics starting from the very first issue all over again, with nothing new in store, I found it hard to relate his adventures to mine. My life was speeding ahead at full throttle, and with the hiatus, his was stagnant. It’s hard to find a link and make it not sound contrived, even thumbing through past issues – it hit a sore spot that probably wouldn’t exist if not for the hiatus itself.

It was sad, realizing that. In a way it was an end of an era. At the same time, I knew that when that hiatus was gone and new comics were made in spurts instead of dry trickles, I’d appreciate them even more. It gave me something to look forward to eventually.

Like Anchor said in his author’s note that announced the hiatus, Johnny Cool certainly wasn’t dead. Every so often, a little four-panel comic would pop up on the website, a sketchy little ditty that was obviously filler but it still gave the fans a fix.

Hoshiko had his own spinoff comics. They were short and sweet and to the point, telling tiny stories of his life being a cat-alien in Johnny’s apartment while he was away rocking gigs and kicking ass. It could’ve been a newspaper comic, it was so cute. While it didn’t have the traditional oomph of Johnny’s antics, it held me over, at least.

Tegan and I were going through them all that night while listening to some indie tunes on Tegan’s computer at her house. Each one showed Hoshiko discovering something new, like TV, getting lost under the covers of Johnny’s bed, and even learning how to open the refrigerator by himself.

The artwork was super cute and was a complete service to the people who liked the brief hint of cuteness Anchor was able to achieve in Hoshiko’s design. But somehow, it didn’t fill the void completely. It was like a symbol of the hiatus itself – Hoshiko playing around aimlessly, waiting for his partner to come home.

I think I summed it up pretty well when we finished what was posted and I said, “Okay, this is good, but it’s not the same without Johnny kicking butt everywhere.”

She nodded and replied, “I still think it’s kinda funny how it’s on a hiatus when our lives are getting more and more hectic.”

“I’m still counting my blessings that our parents officially know and see the crap we’re in at this point,” I sighed. As crappy as that night was, it was a load off my shoulders to have my dad be completely convinced of our situation. What was knee-slapping funny was that he even agreed to let me go to Florida that next day despite me being absolutely sure that he’d nix that idea. “I’m still in shock that he’s letting me to go Gainesville tomorrow.”

Tegan didn’t even really have to say it, but she told me, “My mom didn’t even object at all to that.”

“Your mom is really lucky you’re a good kid,” I laughed.

“Our parents are probably only cool with this because they saw you shoot lightning from your body,” she said matter-of-factly.

I had to roll the thought over in my head for a second, feeling it make sense. “Yeah, I’m actually kinda thankful for that. God knows we wouldn’t be able to go tomorrow if my dad didn’t see that.”

She exited out of the Johnny Cool website’s tab and twirled in her desk chair, her face breaking into a huge smile. “And to make matters better, that alien chick is a total babe.”

“Um, how old is she?” I kind of saw it coming – Tegan once described her “type” as being tough and strong, but not too much taller than her – but I couldn’t resist poking fun.

“She said she was nineteen, so she’s legal.”

“You’re not legal, so she’d be a pedophile if she went after you.”

She shrugged like we were simply talking about the weather. “I don’t mind. It’s kinda hot actually.”

“Oh my God, I don’t want to talk about this with my practically-sister…” I wailed, covering my ears. It was painful enough when she announced once a month when her “Aunt Flo” came to visit.

“You sound like Mick did when I texted him earlier about it,” she rolled her eyes.

“Good, then he knows how awkward it feels,” I said, taking my hands off my ears.

She stopped twirling and instead stared at the ceiling. “Well, his mom is a lesbian who got artificially inseminated with him, so he knows what it’s like to grow up in that kind of environment that isn’t all hunky-dory with it.”

Well, that certainly gave context as to why Mick seemed to gravitate towards Tegan when we hung out. I guess he was probably born with a killer gaydar that let him guess before he even knew Tegan liked girls, but either way, the fact that he didn’t even bat an eyelash was pretty awesome. I could say that about the rest of the band too, save for Anthony not catching on until the night we played cards.

The age difference could probably slide in some states, too. But, um…

“And you don’t mind that she’s an alien…?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Aw, she’s practically human.”

“Fair enough.”

Tegan wasn’t shy when it came to her attractions, but she sometimes like to make fun of me for never doing so. I don’t know, I just never found it in me to care enough to have to announce it to the world when I found some girl attractive. We would walk by a girl on the sidewalk and Tegan would whip her head around to check her out, and I couldn’t help but laugh whenever that happened. One time she even asked if I was gay and we ended up talking that whole night about how pathetically shy I am and how I might even be asexual or something. It evolved into us talking about how stupid labels are for that kind of stuff.

I didn’t care, and I still don’t. All that mattered to me was how cute Tegan was whenever she got girl-crazy and how I wanted things to go well for her, always.