Generation Why Bother

There were six bands in total playing that day including Put’emup, Put’emup. That included Fire Motion and Plaster Caster, who they’d already played with at that concert in Chicago where Tegan discovered her power, along with three other bands I’d only heard of and never saw live. Those included Violence Ladies (the guys toured with these gals at the end of summer), a poppy semi-solo artist who went by the name Olli Lolli, and a ska band called The Max.

Because of the crapload of music going on as Not Listening Records’ way of celebrating the dawn of 2012, this thing was going on all day. Crowds of people had surrounded the outdoor stage right by the beach, staying there throughout the whole show despite the hot Florida sun beating down on everybody even though there was a tarp covering whoever was on the stage at the moment.

Miami was a lot like Gainesville in that there was no concept of “winter.” Even though the air was brisk, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky to block the hellish heat radiating from the sun and dampening the atmosphere.

In a way, it was warming to the soul, though. Actually, I’m not even sure if it was the weather, or the summery pop tunes that the Olli Lolli kid was playing when we all sat backstage, Tegan and I sitting together on a truck full of equipment. Even though we were behind the amps, we still heard him strumming his acoustic guitar and sing melodies of sarcasm and homesickness, his voice high and distinctive.

I gripped tightly at the sides of the trunk we had our butts glued to, staring out from behind the stage at all of those people who could have died at our hands. The band was on call and had even set up a camera in the living room to keep track of the monitor and what was being shown on it, and at any given moment at least one member was glancing at their phone to see if anything had changed. There wasn’t a dot on the map that gave away the danger’s location. Instead, a day was given – January 2nd, 2012. That’s all we knew.

At the moment, anyway. At least until Shira called Tegan.

Tegan’s ringtone sounded – a funky default beat on her candybar cell phone – and she jerked at attention to answer it, mumbling something about not recognizing the number. After a few seconds, though, she gasped and shouted, “Shira?! Is that you?!”

The look I gave her was inhumanly curious.

She pulled it from her ear and pressed a button to make it go to speaker phone, and then I could hear her panting into whatever receiver she was using that had somehow gained contact to Earth.

It was just us at that point, and she was throwing information at us between breaths like her life depended on it.

“Humans,” she started, gulping, “it’s a shelled bug. It’s a giant crustacean. At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from surveying the other planets as well. They’ve sent their largest, most un-evolved creatures to land on planets and grow up to ten times their own size when they land. It’s horrific.” She coughed.

Andy had been walking by to help set up the amps that were going onstage as soon as Olli Lolli’s set was done, and when his ears caught the sound of Shira’s gritty voice, he stopped in his tracks and ran over, kneeling between Tegan and I and not saying a word.

“There is one to each planet, but the size varies – I would recommend trying to attack it before it lands or keep it from landing altogether in order to keep it at small as possible. I lucked out. Daltia is not a very populous planet due to…well, I’ll explain that later – we were only allowed one guardian as chosen by the stars. You need to be on guard at all times, because the bug will try to eliminate you eight first before moving on to the rest of the world. Personally I view that strategy as flawed, but I am not in the position to critique an enemy’s attack choices. The point here is that your mutated trilobite is going to be huge, and for that, you need to give it your all. Planets have been getting attacked all week and will continue to be attacked long after Earth. Few have survived without major damage, though it is normally the larger planets who have remained intact. That is why I am giving you my blessing. I have a certain amount of faith in you.”

Was that a weird way of complimenting us, or…?

Andy didn’t wait when she paused to catch her breath. “Shira, how did you fight it off?! And…how the hell are you talking to us…?”

“My father likes to keep a handle on human technology, as I’ve discovered today,” she explained briefly, getting right back to it. “As for fighting, I, uh…I punched a lot. I do not know what else to say I did. I was not given extra elemental powers like you eight were given. Humans are weak and cannot sustain themselves in battle without extra assistance.”

“Thanks,” Andy grumbled, rolling his eyes for us to see.

The sarcasm flew over Shira’s little head. “You’re welcome, overly-enthusiastic and odd human. But, um…” She grimaced and we could all hear it over the phone. “B-but…there’s something else I must tell you. My father may or may not have told me to tell you months ago, and I may or may not have forgotten, er…b-but you may have a ninth guardian, I guess you could say…”

“What the fuck do you mean, a ‘ninth guardian?’” Andy exclaimed, flailing his arms out.

“Th-there’s another world underneath the earth’s crust,” she stammered. “Just thought you should know – it houses a bunch of intergalactic creatures and it’s where a lot of Daltians have gone over the years – and they have a guardian of their own but it’s completely unrelated to what’s going on right now so that’s why I don’t know for sure…”

Andy was grabbing at his hair. “And you’re telling this to us now?!”

“I don’t like to talk about the Underland – nobody on Daltia does. Far too many Daltians have moved there and left this place a wasteland,” she bargained, not seeing the stupidity of her own reasoning.

“You petty little shit,” Andy hissed.

“It would be a good thing if that guardian showed up – but your crustacean is still going to be massive and if they don’t show up, you need to stay on your toes.”

“Wow, thank you for telling us minutes before our set is gonna start!” Andy gushed with such a thick layer of smartassery.

“You’re quite welcome again, odd human,” Shira thanked, not detecting the sarcasm again. “And Tegan – I would like you to know that if your planet makes it through this mess, I will be visiting Earth again for several reasons. You are the biggest of those reasons.”

Tegan looked up from the phone we were all staring at and she blushed, covering her cheeks in surprise. “Oh, um, awww,” she laughed.

“And I apologize to all of you, but I need to leave now. I have to help my father clean up the mess that the destruction has caused. I need you all to also know that I do have faith in you and your abilities, and you need to work together to make sure everything goes well. Stay strong!”

Then, Shira hung up.

Andy looked constipated, his face wrinkled and pinched up in anger and confusion. He stared at us as he slowly stood up, brushing off the knees of his jeans, and then he said, “Our set is in a few minutes. I have to tell this to the band, you two sit tight, okay?”

I nodded up at him and watched as he speed-walked away.

This was all getting way too real. Even Tegan was staring at me like she was thinking the same thing, and for that, I reached over and grabbed her hand, holding it tight. She squeezed my hand right back and struggled out a smile.

Even if you can’t make it out alive, you might as well stick together.