Silence
Chapter Two
The bus arrived after about three minutes of waiting. My legs were aching from a reason unknown to me. I hadn’t done anything.
I found an open seat on the bus and tossed my backpack on the floor. I scooted closer to the window so my head could rest on it. It was a complicated nap, considering all the little bumps that picked my head up from the window only to slam it back down against it. Still, it was better than no sleep. I would always end up sleeping in class, and this is the one way that I knew to avoid that. Just a little extra nap is what I needed.
The elementary and middle school kids got off of the bus one by one. I still wanted to sleep, because the trip to the high school would be a little less rough than the last. Very few high school students got on the bus. I watched them as they avoided me, some of them I recognized as Nathan’s friends. They passed me, giving me dirty looks. The doors closed and we were off to the high school. I wasn’t looking forward to today, too many questions from the few friends I had. I didn’t want to face that, not yet. I wasn’t ready. We just broke up. I shouldn’t be ready. I wanted to fake being sick so I could go home, or at least sit in the nurse’s office. But I knew I had to talk to them about it because they wouldn’t let me around it. I hated confrontation. I tried to avoid as much socialization between the strangers that were my classmates as possible. I didn’t really want to get to know anyone. I just wanted to keep to myself. I always wanted that. Today was no exception.
I hated the fact that I didn’t know how to go about my day now. I always met up with Nathan after most of our classes so we could talk before the bell rang. But now, it was different. I knew that it shouldn’t bother me this much; the fact that I would have to change my routine. It just, really hurt. He wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t there to kiss my forehead when I got upset. I shook off the thought.
I didn’t see any of my friends until before third period. I didn’t have a class with either of them. Normally, we would just exchange a couple words in the hallway before passing each other to go to class. But now, I knew they would stop me. They would ask why Nathan wasn’t by my side, walking me to my class. I didn’t want to explain yet. I just wanted to go home.
I barely made it through Chemistry without falling asleep. I didn’t take notes, although I should have since I probably have a failing grade in that class. I was exhausted. From crying, mostly. It was pathetic of me, really. Crying this much over someone who I knew couldn’t have ever loved me. It just hurt to realize that he never cared and never would.
The bell for me to go to my next class sounded, and I realized it was third period. I would see Sara and Lauren. I sighed to myself and cursed under my breath. I grabbed my bag and toss it over my shoulder and left the class with a book that couldn’t fit in my bag in my arms. I saw Sara next to Lauren in the hall. I put on a smile and prepared for conversation. Lauren glanced at me and they both turned and walked to their class. No confrontation? Not even a “hello”? What the fuck. I shook my head and continued walking until I saw Levi. I tried to avoid him at all costs. He was the most ignorant person I’ve met, and he knew how I disliked him, for he felt the same about me. He had made fun of me since my seventh grade year, when I moved here from a few states away. Today, the encounter was more than I wanted, but less than I expected. He knocked my book out of my hands and called me “emo whore” before walking away. It was a regular thing nowadays. I didn’t care that much anymore. I used to get really upset as I walked to my class, but today I was neutral. Nothing could hurt me worse than Nathan at that point.
I continued to my class and survived the forty-five minutes before going to the next, and the one after that, and so on, until school was over. I left my locker and headed for the buses. I put my headphones in before I made it to the stairway. Where I saw Nathan. Making out with a girl named Lindsey. I simply turned on my heel and quickly went to another stairway. I found my bus and collapsed into my seat and looked out the window. Already? Wow, that’s really awesome.
I sat there with my head on the window and let myself sleep after letting a few tears fall and soak into my sweatshirt.
I found an open seat on the bus and tossed my backpack on the floor. I scooted closer to the window so my head could rest on it. It was a complicated nap, considering all the little bumps that picked my head up from the window only to slam it back down against it. Still, it was better than no sleep. I would always end up sleeping in class, and this is the one way that I knew to avoid that. Just a little extra nap is what I needed.
The elementary and middle school kids got off of the bus one by one. I still wanted to sleep, because the trip to the high school would be a little less rough than the last. Very few high school students got on the bus. I watched them as they avoided me, some of them I recognized as Nathan’s friends. They passed me, giving me dirty looks. The doors closed and we were off to the high school. I wasn’t looking forward to today, too many questions from the few friends I had. I didn’t want to face that, not yet. I wasn’t ready. We just broke up. I shouldn’t be ready. I wanted to fake being sick so I could go home, or at least sit in the nurse’s office. But I knew I had to talk to them about it because they wouldn’t let me around it. I hated confrontation. I tried to avoid as much socialization between the strangers that were my classmates as possible. I didn’t really want to get to know anyone. I just wanted to keep to myself. I always wanted that. Today was no exception.
I hated the fact that I didn’t know how to go about my day now. I always met up with Nathan after most of our classes so we could talk before the bell rang. But now, it was different. I knew that it shouldn’t bother me this much; the fact that I would have to change my routine. It just, really hurt. He wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t there to kiss my forehead when I got upset. I shook off the thought.
I didn’t see any of my friends until before third period. I didn’t have a class with either of them. Normally, we would just exchange a couple words in the hallway before passing each other to go to class. But now, I knew they would stop me. They would ask why Nathan wasn’t by my side, walking me to my class. I didn’t want to explain yet. I just wanted to go home.
I barely made it through Chemistry without falling asleep. I didn’t take notes, although I should have since I probably have a failing grade in that class. I was exhausted. From crying, mostly. It was pathetic of me, really. Crying this much over someone who I knew couldn’t have ever loved me. It just hurt to realize that he never cared and never would.
The bell for me to go to my next class sounded, and I realized it was third period. I would see Sara and Lauren. I sighed to myself and cursed under my breath. I grabbed my bag and toss it over my shoulder and left the class with a book that couldn’t fit in my bag in my arms. I saw Sara next to Lauren in the hall. I put on a smile and prepared for conversation. Lauren glanced at me and they both turned and walked to their class. No confrontation? Not even a “hello”? What the fuck. I shook my head and continued walking until I saw Levi. I tried to avoid him at all costs. He was the most ignorant person I’ve met, and he knew how I disliked him, for he felt the same about me. He had made fun of me since my seventh grade year, when I moved here from a few states away. Today, the encounter was more than I wanted, but less than I expected. He knocked my book out of my hands and called me “emo whore” before walking away. It was a regular thing nowadays. I didn’t care that much anymore. I used to get really upset as I walked to my class, but today I was neutral. Nothing could hurt me worse than Nathan at that point.
I continued to my class and survived the forty-five minutes before going to the next, and the one after that, and so on, until school was over. I left my locker and headed for the buses. I put my headphones in before I made it to the stairway. Where I saw Nathan. Making out with a girl named Lindsey. I simply turned on my heel and quickly went to another stairway. I found my bus and collapsed into my seat and looked out the window. Already? Wow, that’s really awesome.
I sat there with my head on the window and let myself sleep after letting a few tears fall and soak into my sweatshirt.