Status: the more comments the faster i will update
Hopes And Dreams
Chapter 5
Renae's POV
After their set was over the guys and i headed back to the bus. they were all sweaty and tired from the show so we were all just sitting there in awkward silence.
Mike got up and grabbed 5 beers out of the fridge and gave one to Tony, Jaime, and Vic and then he went to give one to me.
"Uh-um no thanks i dont drink" i said as memories of my dad flooded back.
"Oh well then more for me!" mike sounded kind of confused for a second.
Everyone was drinking and having a good time and eventually mike and tony were drunk and were getting very loud. It reminded me of my dad whenever they would yell. I got scared so finally i said goodnight and thank you then headed to my bunk.
i was laying there for about five minutes until Vic came back there too he crawled in my bunk and sat at the end and asked why i came back here so early.
"I dont know im kinda tired" i said with a fake yawn
"Nah thats not it" he said while looking me right in the eyes
"And how would you know that mister?" i said while chuckling
"I just know, okay well you just looked really uncomfortable up there. Whats the matter?"
"It's nothing im just tired" i said while sitting up
"Its not just nothing, and i know somethings bothering you. Can you please tell me?"
"Okay well the only person i have ever been around who drank was my dad."
"Ohh Renae im really sorry..." he said while looking me in the eyes again
"No its not your fault its just something im gonna have to get over" i said kinda quietly.
"Okay well im gonna go back by the guys, if you need ANYTHING just call me, Okay?
"Okay" i said while rolling over
I was just laying there, and i began to cry i knew i wasnt going to fall asleep, and i didnt want to. I knew if i were to fall asleep i would have a terrible nightmare. i just laying here in my bunk crying for a couple minutes until i realized i had my razors with me. Quickly i opened my baackpack and found the little black box. i quickly put on a sweater and put them in the pocket. i jumped up and went to the front of the bus where the boys were and said i was going to take a shower. they all nodded and i walked to the back where the bathroom was.
I turned on the shower and got undressed,i got in and washed my hair and shaved what needed to be shaved and then i got out and put on only my tank top and underwear on i took the black box out of my sweater and grabbed the biggest blade i had i sat down on the cold floor and began to dig the blade onto my hip bone until i saw little droplets of blood falling down my leg. I did that until there were multiple new red lines on my hip. Then i went down to my thigh and made several new lines on my thigh until i heard a knock on the door. i didnt reply hoping they would go away but then he opened the door. The one with the spikey black hair, jaime walked in.
"Oh my god! Vic! Vic! Get in here I need help!" Jaime called for Vic and sure enough Vic, Tony, and Mike were all standing in the doorway.
Jaime was already at my side getting toilet paper, and Vic was getting bandages.
"Honey please just let us clean them" Jaime said as he was wiping my thigh with toilet paper.
I just gave up trying to stop them."Im sorry..im sorry im so-"
"Heyy its okay were here now" Vic said while applying the bandages to my hip and thigh.
Finally they were done helping me and i went into my bunk. i just couldnt stop sobbing. and then my thoughts started racing. Things like "god your such a fuck up" or "your worthless" "you get in the way of everything" "nobody likes you" "why are you still here?" they were all true. i dont know why these guys are taking me in and caring for me. after laying there for a couple hours i finally drifted too sleep.
---------------
"TIME TO GET UP, TIME TO GET UP, TIME TO GET UP IN THE MORNING!!!!" I heard jaime shouting as hes running through the bunk area.
i nearly fell out of my bunk, Vic hit his head on the ceiling of his bunk, Mike was yelling at Jaime to shut up, and Tony was the only one to actually get up. Eventually we all got out of bed and went to the front lounge Jaime already made coffee for Mike because he knew he would be grumpy with a hangover from last night.
"Can we go out to breakfast!?!?!?" Jaime yelled happily
We were all fine with the idea because that meant nobody had to get up and cook!
"Yeah hime-time lets go" Vic replied in a sleepy voice
We all got up and went to a local restaurant. we ordered and ate and it was time to go and i pulled out money to pay for my food.
"No need for that, im paying little lady" mike said and told me to put my money away.
"Awwh well thanks but you didnt have to do that"
"Well i want to!" he said in a childish voice with a smile on his face
After we hopped back on the bus mike went back to sleep. Tony, Jaime, Vic, and I were in the front lounge when Vic and Jaime decided they were gonna go to the store to get some snacks, Tony and i stayed back.
We were just sitting there in awkward silence for a few minutes until tony spoke up.
"Uh hey Renae, can i talk to you?"
"Yeah sure, what about?"...Oh shit i thought
"Um..last night when..ya know..why?"
"Ohh..umm i dont know i-i just-
"It's okay if you dont want to talk about it now, but if you ever need to I'm here for you" he cut me off
"Oh okay yeah thanks tony.
Notes
After their set was over the guys and i headed back to the bus. they were all sweaty and tired from the show so we were all just sitting there in awkward silence.
Mike got up and grabbed 5 beers out of the fridge and gave one to Tony, Jaime, and Vic and then he went to give one to me.
"Uh-um no thanks i dont drink" i said as memories of my dad flooded back.
"Oh well then more for me!" mike sounded kind of confused for a second.
Everyone was drinking and having a good time and eventually mike and tony were drunk and were getting very loud. It reminded me of my dad whenever they would yell. I got scared so finally i said goodnight and thank you then headed to my bunk.
i was laying there for about five minutes until Vic came back there too he crawled in my bunk and sat at the end and asked why i came back here so early.
"I dont know im kinda tired" i said with a fake yawn
"Nah thats not it" he said while looking me right in the eyes
"And how would you know that mister?" i said while chuckling
"I just know, okay well you just looked really uncomfortable up there. Whats the matter?"
"It's nothing im just tired" i said while sitting up
"Its not just nothing, and i know somethings bothering you. Can you please tell me?"
"Okay well the only person i have ever been around who drank was my dad."
"Ohh Renae im really sorry..." he said while looking me in the eyes again
"No its not your fault its just something im gonna have to get over" i said kinda quietly.
"Okay well im gonna go back by the guys, if you need ANYTHING just call me, Okay?
"Okay" i said while rolling over
I was just laying there, and i began to cry i knew i wasnt going to fall asleep, and i didnt want to. I knew if i were to fall asleep i would have a terrible nightmare. i just laying here in my bunk crying for a couple minutes until i realized i had my razors with me. Quickly i opened my baackpack and found the little black box. i quickly put on a sweater and put them in the pocket. i jumped up and went to the front of the bus where the boys were and said i was going to take a shower. they all nodded and i walked to the back where the bathroom was.
I turned on the shower and got undressed,i got in and washed my hair and shaved what needed to be shaved and then i got out and put on only my tank top and underwear on i took the black box out of my sweater and grabbed the biggest blade i had i sat down on the cold floor and began to dig the blade onto my hip bone until i saw little droplets of blood falling down my leg. I did that until there were multiple new red lines on my hip. Then i went down to my thigh and made several new lines on my thigh until i heard a knock on the door. i didnt reply hoping they would go away but then he opened the door. The one with the spikey black hair, jaime walked in.
"Oh my god! Vic! Vic! Get in here I need help!" Jaime called for Vic and sure enough Vic, Tony, and Mike were all standing in the doorway.
Jaime was already at my side getting toilet paper, and Vic was getting bandages.
"Honey please just let us clean them" Jaime said as he was wiping my thigh with toilet paper.
I just gave up trying to stop them."Im sorry..im sorry im so-"
"Heyy its okay were here now" Vic said while applying the bandages to my hip and thigh.
Finally they were done helping me and i went into my bunk. i just couldnt stop sobbing. and then my thoughts started racing. Things like "god your such a fuck up" or "your worthless" "you get in the way of everything" "nobody likes you" "why are you still here?" they were all true. i dont know why these guys are taking me in and caring for me. after laying there for a couple hours i finally drifted too sleep.
---------------
"TIME TO GET UP, TIME TO GET UP, TIME TO GET UP IN THE MORNING!!!!" I heard jaime shouting as hes running through the bunk area.
i nearly fell out of my bunk, Vic hit his head on the ceiling of his bunk, Mike was yelling at Jaime to shut up, and Tony was the only one to actually get up. Eventually we all got out of bed and went to the front lounge Jaime already made coffee for Mike because he knew he would be grumpy with a hangover from last night.
"Can we go out to breakfast!?!?!?" Jaime yelled happily
We were all fine with the idea because that meant nobody had to get up and cook!
"Yeah hime-time lets go" Vic replied in a sleepy voice
We all got up and went to a local restaurant. we ordered and ate and it was time to go and i pulled out money to pay for my food.
"No need for that, im paying little lady" mike said and told me to put my money away.
"Awwh well thanks but you didnt have to do that"
"Well i want to!" he said in a childish voice with a smile on his face
After we hopped back on the bus mike went back to sleep. Tony, Jaime, Vic, and I were in the front lounge when Vic and Jaime decided they were gonna go to the store to get some snacks, Tony and i stayed back.
We were just sitting there in awkward silence for a few minutes until tony spoke up.
"Uh hey Renae, can i talk to you?"
"Yeah sure, what about?"...Oh shit i thought
"Um..last night when..ya know..why?"
"Ohh..umm i dont know i-i just-
"It's okay if you dont want to talk about it now, but if you ever need to I'm here for you" he cut me off
"Oh okay yeah thanks tony.
Notes